Disclaimer: I do not own Power Rangers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Scooby-Doo, Up, Doctor Who, Sonic the Hedgehog, Jojo's Bizarre Adventure and the meme it spawned, or the Eye of Argon.
~o^o~
The next segment of the rules arrived as all of the new Time Force officers were trying to complete a dare—namely, to read through the Eye of Argon aloud. They were making good time, though it was hard to hear anything over the loud laughter. It wasn't until chapter three, when Nicholson collapsed next to the door, that they even noticed the new Rules. Shaking, Nicholson pulled the data disc out from under the door, and held it up so the others could see.
"Break," Harvey gasped, taking the disc and putting it in the computer.
"Some break," Sanchez said, and hiccupped. After a minute of panting, Harvey was able to read the new Rules.
"541. I will not give any evildoers advice.
-Nor may I shove them out of the way with a "Here, let me show you how it's done."
-Even though I think I can do better.
-Especially if I can do better.
542. I will not give Buffy a morpher.
-Nor start the Scooby Gang Rangers.
-This also goes for every Companion of the Doctor ever, but especially River Song.
543. Speaking of which, Cmdr. Cruger is not Scooby-Doo even though is a talking dog.
-I will not even suggest that he is Scrappy-Doo.
-And he really isn't Dug.
544. I will not wire any Ranger's phone to constantly play their theme song.
545. Yes, there are many ambiguous romantic relationships among the Power Rangers. No, the best way to settle this is not through a poll.
-Not even if I'm polling their teammates.
546. I can't get Flynn or any other time manipulating ranger to yell out "Za Warudo" when they freeze time.
-I also can't get any teleporter to say "Chaos Control."
547. Summer's energy blast is not a yellow hadoken.
548. I cannot give the Samurai Rangers a better morph call than "Go Go Samurai!"
-Even if there are a million more I can think up off the top of my head.
549. I can't go back and shoot any villain in the face before they reach their full strength.
-It probably wouldn't work anyway.
550. I will not call the Samurai rangers expies of previous Rangers.
-Especially Jayden.
-As they are samurai and katanas hurt.
551. The Samurai Rangers are not at war with the Ninja Storm Rangers.
-Saying so gives both Ranger teams permission to slap me silly.
552. I will not give Andros a mask "to go with the cape so you can still see while wearing it."
-Nor will I address him as Liz Ten.
553. Alpha 5/6/7 is not Alpha from Up, despite the similar vocal pitches.
554. I will not express disappointment to Time Force that their ship isn't bigger on the inside.
555. No, the Blue Fairy will not turn Mack into a real boy.
556. I will not attempt to cut off pre-Forever Red Tommy's hair.
-Nor Turbo Adam's.
557. I cannot steal Dr. K's underwear gun.
558. Onyx—and especially the Old West bar on it—is forbidden to me.
-Seriously, the owner is getting tired of replacing all the furniture!
559. I cannot install chandeliers wherever dropping one on someone might give me an advantage in battle.
560. Despite his appearance and plans to return Earth to its ancient, reptile-dominated state, Mesogog is not a Silurian."
"Okay, awesome," Julia from across the hall said, "Whose turn was it?"
"Mine," Leeroy said, taking the battered Eye of Argon and clearing his throat. "Consciousness returned to Grignr in stygmatic pools as his mind gradually cleared of the cobwebs cluttering its inner recesses, yet the stygian cloud of charcoal ebony remained. An incompatible shield of b-bl-black..."
~o^o~
541-44 from alpha of denali wolf pack. 545 inspired by tjcassieever. 546-51 from Jio Uzumaki. Yes, yes I have been watching a lot of Doctor Who recently. How did you ever guess?
