Chapter 28
Spencer's POV
We were all sitting in the living room, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. I was so happy to see Emily having a great time. Hanna proposed drinking alcohol but the idea was soon dismissed, everyone enjoying themselves without needing it. I guess that we were just all overly happy to get to spend a night the four of us together.
"So, on a scale of one to ten, how hot do you find that new guy, you know, the one who was there last week but that never actually showed up again?" Asked Hanna at some point.
"The one with the tattoo on the forearm?" Asked Aria.
"Oh yeah, it's like a shark or something." I said, finally catching up on who they were talking about.
"Yeah, he's the one. So, how hot?" Hanna asked again.
"Definitely an 8." Aria said without thinking.
"Really? I was sure that you wouldn't find him hot." Hanna told Aria.
"Well, I didn't say that I would date him, but it doesn't mean that he's not hot." Aria argued back.
"Fair enough. What about you Spence?" Hanna turned to me.
"I don't know… A four, I guess."
"A four…? Really? He deserves at least 6." Hanna said offended.
"Well, it's not my fault if I prefer tall athletic brunette with brown eyes, who are sweet and not self-centered. And not to mention a girl." I said.
"I guess that you have a point. Emily, do you think he's hot?" Hanna then asked Emily.
"I don't think that he's hot and you know exactly why, but if you ask me if I think that he's a match for you, then probably yeah. I guess that he has a little something…" Emily said as she got up. "I'm gonna grab something to drink."
She walked out of the room. I wanted to follow her but I figured that she could use some time to herself.
"Did I say something wrong?" Hanna asked me worried.
"No, it's not you Han. She's just dealing with a lot of stuff…"
"Like what?" Aria wondered.
"She will have to talk about it; it's not my place to tell."
"That's completely understandable, but should we talk about it, or let her do it?" Aria asked.
"I don't really know, I have a feeling that when she'll come back, she'll talk about it."
Emily walked back in the room and sat down next to me. She looked at me and I knew that she wanted to talk about it, but that she wasn't sure if she should or what to say. I leaned towards her and hugged her. She hugged me back, tightly, and she didn't want to let go. I ran my hand up and down her back. I met Aria's gaze and I say how sad she was to see Emily struggle so much. She felt as powerless as me, it was easy to see. She closed her eyes and took one long breath. When she opened her eyes again, I could see determination in them. She moved closer to Emily on the couch. She put her hand on her thigh. Emily leaned away from me to look at her. When she saw the look in her eyes, she looked down. It was easy to see that she wanted to tell her everything, but that it was hard for her. She was used to push us away. I think that it is still what she wanted to do, but that she was fighting against it this time. Aria hugged her and Emily broke down. She started crying and clung to her like her life depended on it. Well, I actually feel like it's the case. She was so freaking fragile and now that she let us in, she depends on us. Aria pulled back after a couple of minutes and forced her to look her in the eyes. It looked like she was trying to give her some of the strength she gathered.
"Listen to me Emily. I don't know what you are going through, but I can see how upset it gets you. You probably don't think that I can help you or that talking about it will change anything. But the truth is, it can. I don't know exactly how you are feeling, but I know how it feels to deal with something so powerful that you feel crumbled down. I also know that whatever it is, it isn't stronger than you. Nothing is stronger than you. It might feel like the end of the world right now, but nothing could end your world, because the Emily that I know is full of life. The Emily that I know is stronger than anybody. The Emily that I know could go through anything. So just hold on, and when you feel like it's too much for you, than give us some of that weight you carry on your shoulders all the time. We can't get through it for you, but we can at least give you time to breath."
"My dad won't be going to war anymore."
"Em, that's fantastic." Aria and Hanna said at the same time.
"He'll live on the Kansas base, which means that we could live with him and I might have to move there."
"Shit" Aria said as her eyes filled with water.
"It doesn't matter, Em. Everything that Aria just said is true. You can get through anything." Hanna said.
"You just don't get it, do you?! That's not just something I can get through! I don't want to lose!" Emily screamed as she got up and started pacing.
I got up and stood in front of her.
"First of all, you will never lose us. Second of all we don't know if your dad will invite you to move in with him. And finally, it doesn't mean that your mom will accept."
Emily sat back down on the couch and put her head in her hands. After about five minutes she looked up and stared at Hanna.
"How about that drink you were talking about before?" She asked her.
Hanna looked at me unsure of what to do. I sat down next to Emily.
"Are you sure that it's a good idea right now?" I asked her.
"I think that it's the best idea Spence. Look, I'm not a baby anymore, I know what I'm doing."
"If you say so."
"Babe, please, don't be like that. It's not like I'm an alcoholic or something, I just want to forget about everything for one night."
"I get that, honey, I do. But I just wish that you could find other solutions to your problems. How about we watch a movie, you choose. We can order in, again, you choose. And if you don't feel better after the movie, then we'll get so drunk that we won't remember anything in the morning. How does that sound?"
"It sounds perfect." Emily said with a small smile. "I love you so much Spencer."
"I love you too baby." I leaned in and kiss her.
It was a chaste kiss but I pour everything I feel for her in that kiss.
