Chapter XXVIII

Impossible Fantasy

"Every age yearns for a more beautiful world. The deeper the desperation and the depression about the confusing present, the more intense that yearning."

-Johan Huizinga


Inoue's hair swayed with the wind as the air stilled for several moments following Ichigo's decisive blow to Grimmjow's chest. The child beside her watched in astonishment through the golden expanse of the shield that separated them from the motionless pair below.

Ichigo breathed heavily as he allowed his sword to lower to the sand below, watching as the Espada simply gazed up at the sky in pain and disbelief. He stood another moment before falling to his knees before the Shinigami, seeing the blood upon the massive Zanpakuto bathed with the gore of his own blood.

It's over, Inoue thought with relief and a very slight and surprising satisfaction that Grimmjow had not been slain after all. Regardless of his abrasive and often violent personality, she still held some semblance of gratitude toward him for rescuing her from the two female Arrancars and for allowing her the opportunity to revive Ichigo, despite his abhorrent intentions.

The one thing that she could still not seem to forgive him for, however apparent the necessity, was his cruel act against Ulquiorra, sealing him helplessly within a prison of darkness. However, she did recognize that she would not have been to heal her friend otherwise, and that escape would've been forever denied to her.

Now, though, it appeared as if she and all her companions would finally be able to return home, to where she had always belonged. She felt so many emotions at the prospect that the entire venture seemed too impossible to be real. For so long, she had been prepared to face death within the realm of the Hollow, and had slowly accepted the fact that she would never again set eyes upon her own beloved world.

Lifting her eyes to the sky, however, she felt a small wave of sadness at the possibility of not being able to see the face of the fourth Espada before leaving. He might chase after her, or somehow find a way to escape his confinement before her departure but, the prospect was still present and so she offered him a small smile in his absence. She brought a hand to her lips and closed her eyes, bidding him a silent farewell and kissing her fingertips before lifting her hand upward toward the site of his disappearance.

Looking to her left, she noticed that the child had momentarily averted her gaze and was now eying her curiously. Inoue smiled uneasily as she lowered her hand and clenched her fist gently as the faintest trace of a blush found her cheeks.

Why did such reactions continue to plague her? He had committed unbelievable acts and purposefully hurt her in the aftermath. He had said the cruelest things and showed her neither sympathy or even respect. And yet…as she felt the burn of a scarlet flush upon her skin, she marveled at its continuance and at how her heart would beat even slightly faster at the sound of his name or memory of his face.

Looking down to Ichigo, she also began to feel the cold withdrawal of all the romantic impulses he had once unfailingly instilled within her thoughts and emotions. Why was that so? He still attracted and inspired admiration but…something was undeniably different. Something that was now absent and Inoue found that she could not identify what exactly was missing any more than she could determine the nature of her disposition concerning the Espada.

Again looking to the child, who continued to gaze up at her questioningly, Inoue opened her mouth to alleviate her concern when she suddenly heard something clash against steel. Eyes widening, she immediately turned to see that Grimmjow had reached out to grasp Ichigo's Zanpakuto. She could only faintly hear the Espada's strained words as she observed his trembling form.

"Screw…you!" he sputtered, "You..you think that you've won! That you beat me!"

Inoue's heart thudded violently as she quickly leaned forward, "Kurosaki-kun!"

She watched as the cat-like figure reached out and swiftly dealt a blow across Ichigo's torso, panting as he stood to observe the Shinigami clutching at the wound inflicted on his abdomen. They stood gazing at one another for countless moments before Grimmjow rushed toward him again, reaching out and sending Ichigo flying backwards.

Continuing to advance, the Espada attempted another blow, but Ichigo regained balance and lifted his sword to block the attack. A wave of sand swept over them, and as Inoue strained her eyes to see, she felt her stomach plummet as the sound of Ichigo's pained outcries reached her ears.

The next thing she saw was the Shinigami being thrown into the air after receiving a strong kick from his enemy, who simply leered up at his battered form. Her breath caught as she observed the enraged expression of the Espada and marveled that she had never before seen such a look of anger upon the countenance of anyone she had previously encountered.

Grimmjow jumped and raced after his prey, ascending into the sky at an alarming speed before performing a sonido and appearing behind Ichigo. Inoue then clutched a hand over her heart and felt a wave of despair greet her ever-hopeful soul as she observed the sixth Espada reach his hands forward and summon ten cerulean beams of light from his claws, which extended into the air beside him.

What…is that? She wondered in horror as Ichigo adjusted his stance and retreated several feet from his adversary, seemingly unsure of what was about to ensue.

Another moment lingered and then departed before the Espada reached forward and sent the beams coursing toward his opponent who quickly lifted his blade to block the onslaught. He was sent flying backwards as he struggled to maintain his strength before he was thrust down toward the sand, the deadly rays of light sweeping overhead and crashing into the tower beneath Inoue and Nel.

The entire atmosphere was bathed in haunting azure as Ichigo righted himself and landed on his feet, sword at the ready and aimed toward the Espada, who joyously announced his impending victory and self-proclaimed sovereignty.

Ichigo then jumped and lifted his sword to the ice-like beams, running the blade through one of them until it eventually halted and shattered the light into fragments resembling shards of glass. As the pieces rained down around Inoue, she allowed concern to take her features as she nervously watched the pair, hand still clutched tightly to her pulsating chest.

She watched Ichigo rush forward resolutely, again running his blade through the penetrating rays sent his way and using the attack almost like a path, from which he was determined not to deviate.

She caught every declaration he made upon nearing his opponent until one sent a tremor of astonishment to rush through her veins and into her heart, where it was greeted with a throbbing ache.

"I came to destroy you!" he shouted, "And…Ulquiorra! And Aizen!" He continued to fly towards the Espada, unhindered. "And to take Rukia, Chad, Ishida, Renji…and Inoue back with me!"

Her eyes widened as she heard her name, and though she should have felt nothing but immense pride upon hearing his determination to rescue her and safely retrieve all of those who had accompanied him, she found that it was laced with the pain of hearing his desire to defeat Ulquiorra, despite the recognition that he had every right to do so on account of nearly being killed by him. Ichigo did not know of her connection with the Espada or of the entirely gentle and admirable aspects of his nature.

Still…she did not want Ulquiorra to die, no matter what. He, or Ichigo, or anyone else she cared for. She wanted it all to end with the defeat of Grimmjow. However…Aizen was still around and, until the world was rid of him, serenity and harmony would be denied to all involved. She could not allow her desires to delude her from the truth reality harshly presented. If Ulquiorra had taught her anything, it was to constantly carry an awareness of present circumstances.

Inadvertently, she again lifted her eyes to the sky, half expecting to see the great vortex open and release Ulquiorra. However, such a thing was impossible and her heart involuntarily lurched at the sight of the still empty and cloudless expanse of blue.

Why did she suddenly desire to see him? Why did her ears long for his voice? Why was her skin aching for this touch and her senses the unique and enticing scent that belonged to no one but him? He had nearly killed Ichigo and yet…he hadn't. That small and seemingly insignificant window presented the possibility for pardoning, though her heart presently rebelled against it. She reasoned that someday, however, when she was far away from this place and looking back on her moments with him, that she might find the will to forgive what he had done.

Averting her eyes to Ichigo then, she watched as he closed the final distance between he and Grimmjow, penetrating the Espada in the abdomen with his ebony blade, the glow of azure fading, allowing the atmosphere to resume its natural hues.

The two hung suspended for countless moments before Ichigo removed his sword and the Espada fell backwards, his body limp and his face expressionless. Inoue held her breath as she watched his descent, feeling a small semblance of pity toward Grimmjow as she simultaneously found herself hoping that the final attack had not killed him.

She then watched as Ichigo caught him by the wrist, halting his fall before slowly lowering him onto the sand below, gently allowing his body to rest upon the heartless desert. She smiled slightly at this small action of his, once again admiring Ichigo's continued respect for all those around him, including his enemies.

He simply stood gazing down at Grimmjow's stilled form for an immeasurable amount of time as Inoue felt her smile slowly fade into a contemplative expression. In that moment she suddenly uncovered one of the answers to the many questions resounding through her mind. Even if Ichigo were to confess feelings of affection to her, she would no longer be able to accept them. Yes, she had sworn five lifetimes to him but the circumstances had changed since then as well as the understanding that he was not someone she would ever be suited for, and vice versa.

Something within had subtly changed during her time in Hueco Mundo and she didn't know whether it was due to Ulquiorra or the fact that she had actually been forced to comprehend herself on a deeper level within countless hours of solitary confinement. The realization startled her and yet strangely left her feeling a confounding swell of tranquility as if she had desperately been grasping at something that was no longer there.

She could not say that she was entirely absent of romantic feelings for Ichigo, and she still could not determine the identity of the feelings she held for Ulquiorra or find the desire to forgive him, but she was now certain that her future was undeniably hers and that even without offering a lifetime of devotion to either one, her destiny would continue to shine brightly and magnificently.

Her chest suddenly seemed to feel lighter and her heart was relieved of a great portion of its burden, the restricted emotions and encumbered thoughts at once feeling easier to handle. She watched as Ichigo slowly turned away from his defeated opponent, eyes downcast and sword lowered solemnly. He halted a moment before jumping and slowly ascending towards her.

Releasing her shield, she intently eyed his face as it came into view, observing the way his expression was numbly set and his features devoid of response or reaction. He seemed genuinely morose over his own actions against Grimmjow, though she knew that he acknowledged the fact that it had needed to be done.

Turning her face to the side briefly to look down at the child beside her, Inoue closed her eyes and set her mind against recalling all earlier doubts concerning Ichigo's hollow nature. She also desperately clung to the resolutions and clarity that she had just encountered a mere moment ago, though the process was actually easier now that she was aware of how her heart actually felt.

Kurosaki-kun and…Ulquiorra-kun…Inoue contemplated, both are so entirely different, and yet they each equally confuse and demand immense admiration from my impulsive feelings.

Looking again to Ichigo, she continued to analyze him with a widened gaze. "K-Kuro-"

The last time she had been able to speak alone with him, was when she had confessed her love and devotion, a declaration that now seemed entirely whimsical.

"Are you-?" He interrupted her thoughts, before slowly lifting his head to face her, revealing the familiar glow of his eyes as well as the absence of the horrific mask. He smiled gently, "are you hurt, Inoue?"

Her concerned expression was slowly alleviated as a small answering smile graced her lips, her mind feeling the swell of relief at seeing that he was back to his usual self.

Thank goodness! She thought as the wind swept past them, billowing through their garments and surrounding the atmosphere with its cool and powerful presence.

"Yeah," she answered softly. "Thank you."

His mouth parted briefly before he resumed his easy smile, conveying the imminent relief he felt at seeing that she was unharmed.

Despite the fact that she had accepted his hollow characteristics, she still could not deny the fact that she felt safer beside the Shinigami she had grown accustomed to. There was something dangerous and menacing about the mask he wore, and the persona it emitted. She did not know if he even realized himself what that visage seemed to emanate.

"Itsygo!" Nel suddenly cried before Inoue saw the toddler dive into Ichigo's torso, arms outstretched and voice shrill with desperation. The Shinigami's face contorted into one of discomfort and surprise as he was sent flying backwards, his sword falling from his hand, sent hurling toward Inoue and clattering against the marble beside her.

"Y-You stupid kid!" he hollered as he grasped her waist. "What're you thinking! You jumped off a cliff! You would've died if you fell! For the love of-!"

"I'm so happy!" Nel choked out through her tears, resulting in Ichigo's eyes widening. "Itsygo, I'm so happy you didn't die!"

As she began to weep, Ichigo's brows furrowed sympathetically as his tender smile returned. "Yeah," he placed a hand atop her head. "Thanks, Nel."

He then cradled her safely within the fold of his arms before making his way toward Inoue and slowly bending to set Nel down. Inoue smiled at the scene before lifting her gaze to meet Ichigo's as he straightened to observe her fondly.

"Kurosaki-kun…"she began before he lifted his hand and held it out to her.

As she looked to his waiting palm she marveled at how elated she would have once felt at this small gesture of his. However…upon being presented with it, she found only a mild semblance of delight.

"Let's go. Everyone's waiting," Ichigo stated gently.

Inoue nodded then, remembering that all of her other companions still needed help. She slowly walked toward Ichigo, before almost hesitantly beginning to lift her hand. It was so strange that her reactions seemed unmotivated to respond to the stimulating prospect of completing such a familiar act.

As she leisurely lowered her hand into his, her palm simply rested still as he clutched her reassuringly. Watching as his kind eyes reached into hers, Inoue was suddenly greeted with the image of Ulquiorra, and the memory of how her hand used to feel when entwined with his. Ichigo's touch brought with it a startling and fierce contrast to all the impulses the fourth Espada would instill upon the same act of affection.

She recalled how it would always make the veins beneath her skin feel as if electricity were being shot through them and into her heart, where the thundering chorus of its relentless beating would echo throughout her entire soul, prompting feelings of breathlessness and warmth.

Ichigo's hand, likewise, was comforting and also instilled a degree of warmth. However, it did not entice any other reaction or intoxication. It simply inspired security and appreciation.

Despite this realization, though, Inoue found that her newfound disposition towards Ichigo suited her just fine. It allowed for her to truly embrace him as a dear friend, someone whom she could revere without bias or prejudice. Closing her eyes then, she smiled and allowed for a very faint flush of gratitude and contentment.

They both then turned to gaze out at the great expanse of desert as the wind continued to sweep through and around them, hands held together and Nel looking between them silently before also settling her attention on the distant sands.

In that moment, the future appeared bright and devoid of anxiety as Inoue silently continued to gaze at the sun, her mind untroubled and openly allowing for the vision of Ulquiorra to encompass it. Seeing the great and magnificent light within the sky, she held onto to the feeling of immense appreciation she had felt the day he showed it to her.

Ichigo then withdrew his hand as he faced her, smile still in place. "I'm glad you're not hurt, Inoue."

She turned to him and lowered her eyes briefly before meeting his gaze and nodding before suddenly allowing for a soft giggle and noticeable flush of pride upon her cheeks.

Lifting her fists, she gently clenched them, "Well, I'm pretty tough, too!" She closed her eyes in excitement. "When I was little I never caught colds or-"

Her words fell silent as Ichigo unexpectedly grasped her around the waist and unceremoniously hoisted her over his shoulder. Inoue gasped as her flush burned feverishly, the crimson more prominent and pronounced.

"H-Hey, Kurosaki-kun! What're you doing?" She clutched at his shoulder as her eyes grew impossibly wider.

"What? We're getting down from here." He explained before turning his head to look back at her. "This place is trashed. Jumping'll be a lot quicker than searching for a staircase."

"B-But," Inoue stammered, looking to him desperately before turning away and lifting both hands to her head. She then covered her face in embarrassment. It felt extremely hot beneath her fingers as she frantically tried to hide her blush.

"What is it? Something wrong?" Ichigo asked in confusion, unaware of the state she was in.

Inoue did not face him, simply allowed her eyes to drift over. "I'm heavy," she attempted weakly.

"Nah, don't worry about it," Ichigo consoled as she squeezed her eyes closed. "You're not as heavy as I figured."

Inoue's eyes widened as she again opened them before Nel suddenly crashed into Ichigo's knee and bit down, resulting in he emitting a loud and startling scream.

"Brat!" he hollered.

"Ya can't talk to a lady like that!" she explained seriously before her voice began to grow progressively louder. "There's a wight way and a wong way to talk to a lady! Even if she's heavy, yer s'posed ta say she's light! Even if she's really heavy!"

"Th-that's enough, Nel-chan," Inoue pleaded, now extremely self-conscious. "You're making me depressed…"

Did Ulquiorra think she was heavy too?

Following that thought she inhaled quickly as Ichigo suddenly grabbed Nel beneath his other arm and jumped, the air rushing past for several moments before his feet met the soft sand below, dust encircling and dancing around them before returning to its settled state.

Eyes closed, Inoue briefly entertained the memory of jumping with the fourth Espada, and at how exhilarating the experience had been. She remembered his arms held securely around her as well as the look of admiration that had crossed his features upon noticing her excitement.

"There we go," Ichigo stated before grabbing Inoue and carefully lowering her onto the ground, pulling her from the inebriation of her thoughts. "Now, I need to go save Chad and Rukia."

"Wh-Whattabout us?" Nel demanded nervously as both Inoue and Ichigo looked down at her in surprise. "Are you going to leave us behind?"

"No way!" Ichigo stated as he straightened. "Come with me. Staying here would be more dan-"

His eyes suddenly widened as he felt a familiar presence from behind him, the presence of which seemed to inspire disbelief upon his features. Inoue, too, looked up and covered her mouth as a loud thud resounded within her chest.

Ichigo slowly turned his head and silently eyed the panting form of the Espada behind him, before his gaze narrowed slightly. "Grimmjow…"

Grimmjow then began to walk forward unsteadily, blood falling and mingling with the sand at his feet.

"Kurosaki-kun!" Inoue warned anxiously before Ichigo held out his sword in preparation to face his opponent.

The sixth Espada then suddenly stopped and closed his eyes as his Zanpakuto's release disappeared, reverting him to his normal state and forming into the familiar sword within his hand. "I don't lose…" he stubbornly and breathlessly stated. "I…I'll never go down…to someone like you!"

He then rushed forward determinedly, and Inoue simply watched tensely as he readied his sword. She did not feel she could watch him get killed however and so, just before she could look away, her eyes suddenly widened as she saw Ichigo unexpectedly drop his sword and rush forward before he lifted a hand to halt Grimmjow's blade.

Grasping his wrist, Ichigo stared into the Espada's eyes resolutely. "That's enough, Grimmjow. You've lost."

Inoue held her breath as she felt an immense swell of relief flood through her entire core.

"I don't care if you're a king or not," Ichigo continued. "But cutting through anyone you don't like and becoming a king with no one left to rule…What's the point of it all? If you loathe me so much, I'll fight whenever you want. So let it go for now!"

Silence fell between them before Grimmjow lowered his eyes briefly. However, the moment passed as he yanked his arm free and leaned forward quickly. "Never! You're-"

He was cut off then as a giant scythe came down to slash against him, his eyes widening in confusion and his mouth parting in disbelief.

Ichigo, too, looked on in astonishment, completely unsure of what to think in that moment.

Inoue, however, instantly recognized the newcomer and as she looked on in horror she felt the familiar chilling revulsion that always accompanied him. She was entirely appalled that he would attack his own colleague without provocation. However, she simultaneously realized that she was not even the slightest bit surprised at witnessing such a cruel and unfeelingly action from him.

Grimmjow immediately fell to the ground at Ichigo's feet, the latter looking to the new Espada as the weapon was retracted.

"Damn, you're a sore loser!" the man sneered down at the sixth as he grasped his weapon and swung it to the side, a wide grin overtaking his features. "Just die already." He looked to Ichigo. "He's mine now."

Inoue felt shivers form across her skin as she heard his final statement. Genuine fear replaced all confidence she had held during Ichigo's fight with Grimmjow. This Espada was merciless and extremely powerful. Within his unreleased state, Ulquiorra had defeated Ichigo and yet, Nnoitra had been able to inflict a great deal of damage over the fourth Espada.

Ichigo…Inoue knew, was no match for him, especially in his current weakened state.

The fifth Espada began to slowly advance forward, his heavy scythe running across the sand in a sickening grate of metal against earth.

"Who…are you?" Ichigo asked with widened eyes, seeming to realize the power difference between this new opponent and the last he had faced. "An Espada?"

The sleek-haired enemy merely smiled in response, his slit-like glaze piercing into the eyes of the man he intended to kill.

"I asked who you are!" Ichigo demanded tensely, "Answer me!"

He then heard a muffled gasp from below and looked to see Grimmjow struggling to breath. "Nnoitra," the sixth began. "You son of a…"

"Whoa," the fifth responded smoothly. "You're still alive?" He then jumped quickly and prepared his weapon.

Ichigo's eyes abruptly widened before he swiftly reached out and grasped his sword, blocking the blow that was aimed for Grimmjow.

"Eh?" Nnoitra responded upon seeing this action from the Shinigami. "What the hell're you doing?"

"That's my line!" Ichigo returned through gritted teeth. "Why are you attacking someone who can't even move?"

Inoue allowed her eyes to rest upon Grimmjow, who was simply staring up at Ichigo without expression, his face neither startled or content. However, within the gleam of his bleary eyes she could see a foreign trace of something she could now recognize as pure, unblemished awe. It was a glimmer she often used to see within the eyes of Ulquiorra and…as she smiled…she realized that within that moment Grimmjow had evolved to something even slightly closer to the level of his superiors, far surpassing Nnoitra and thus claiming an existence comprised of more than mere instinct.

"Ha!" Nnoitra jeered as Ichigo was thrust several feet away.

"The hell is this shit, Grimmjow?" the fifth demanded as he looked to the cerulean haired Espada. "Huh? First the enemy kicks your ass, then you let him save your life?"

Grimmjow simply gazed up at him listlessly, his mouth parted ever so slightly as his face continuing to mask whatever thoughts were currently encompassing his mind.

"What's your name, Shinigami?" Nnoitra asked, returning his attention to his opponent.

"Kurosaki Ichigo."

The smile returned. "Kurosaki, huh?" He then lifted his scythe and prepared his stance for battle. "I'll remember it, for just the short time you're still alive!" He then summoned his spiritual pressure, which was received by a widening of Ichigo's eyes before the first blow was executed.

The sand was agitated once more and Ichigo quickly dodged the attack, jumping onto the piles of rubble above. He was then met with another attempted thrust, which he quickly blocked. However, the weapon was far too heavy for him and he was swiftly sent colliding into the ground. He stood and was only granted a moment before he reached up to defend against another attack from the scythe.

"Kurosaki-kun!" Inoue cried, desperate to stop the fight. She knew that there would only be one outcome to the battle, an outcome that she would not be able to observe.

Ulquiorra-kun…please, I need you!

"Tesla!" Nnoitra called out to his subordinate.

"Yes, sir!" A voice suddenly answered from behind Inoue before she felt an arm wrap itself in front of her. She was then pulled backwards, her body hitting the sand as two firm hands restrained her shoulders, halting any form of movement.

"Inoue!" Ichigo called, looking back at her as the sound of her startled outburst reached his ears.

"Whatcha looking at?" Nnoitra threatened before he sent his scythe coursing over Ichigo's head in warning.

"Let go of Inoue!" Ichigo demanded, eyes set on his opponent but voice directed towards the Arrancar behind him.

"Now that's funny," Nnoitra declared with an amused grin. "That's the kind of line a guy says when he thinks as long as his woman's safe, he can win!"

Inoue's eyes widened as his words reached her, recognizing the underlying implications within his menacing statement. He was speaking of Ulquiorra and of the time in which he had been told something similar upon their confrontation on the balcony.

Ulquiorra straightened and regarded Nnoitra a moment before placing a hand on his hilt. He hesitated another second before slowly drawing his sword and suspending it towards his opponent. "So be it. Let her go."

Desperate tears suddenly sprang to her eyes as they helplessly gazed up at the sky. If you can see me…please…do something to stop this.

"Well, check this out," Nnoitra coaxed before sticking out his slimy tongue, where the number 5 was clearly printed.

Ichigo's eyes widened upon this gesture, his hand grasping his sword even tighter.

"That's my rank," Nnoitra explained. "Get it? You got the crap beaten out of you before you finally managed to beat this scum over here, and I'm stronger than him." He lifted a bony finger and directed it towards the Shinigami. "You're dead." He grinned, "sorry, I forgot your name already."

He again lifted his scythe and sent it falling towards Ichigo as Inoue cringed in apprehension of the battle she could do nothing to prevent.

The sand beneath her was soft and warm, and the expanse of blue above was clear and untarnished. She blinked away her tears as her fears momentarily subsided. Ignoring the harsh hands that held her shoulders and the clashing of steel from somewhere beside her, she instead closed her eyes and pictured that dream from so long ago in which she had been lying upon the desert of Hueco Mundo, the sun shining brightly overhead and the barren waste at once coming to life and filling the atmosphere with vitality. She wondered what it had represented, if anything at all.

This thought was followed with one of Ulquiorra, and of all the things she still wished they could have experienced together. It seemed now an impossible fantasy, but one she fervently desired for all the same.