The Dogfather
Chapter 28
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Sirius, or any of their furry little friends. sadly
nXn
Harry reached potions as early as possible and sat in the back row. As the class shuffled in, he hid behind volume 26 of Applications of Moonstones in Healing Solutions. It was beyond Harry how such a subject could cover more than one volume, let alone twenty six. The only reason he had checked it out in the first place was because Madam Prince had caught him snooping around in more 'interesting' practices and it was the closest book at hand.
Snape burst through the door in is usual style. Harry immediately began to long for his handy voodoo doll. The Potions Master began to take roll and seemed to skip to Harry's name and his face seemed to twist into an evil grin.
"Ah, Mr. Potter, I see you have once again graced us with your presence."
"Apparently so." he said shortly, trying with all his might to ignore the smirk on Malfoy's face and to refrain from saying something much ruder.
"I trust you enjoyed your little holiday."
"Not really." the Gryffindor made out through gritted teeth.
"After all, that murdering godfather of yours and his trusty werewolf accomplice are such charming company."
Harry blinked, speculating the limit of what a professor could say in front of his class. The boy simply glared. Snape seemed to grow tired of tormenting him and so moved on.
The class ahead included an extremely complex potion (for first years) and so Snape decided it would be a grand idea to assign mixed house groups. Well, the actual point of this was to make as horrible an experience as possible for the Gryffindors. The potions master had obviously caught wind of Harry and Ron fighting, and so stuck them together with Malfoy and Hermione.
Harry patiently weighed a cluster of snail shells, trying to ignore Malfoy and Ron. Hermione had still not said a word to him.
"I thought that you would be sitting on our side of the room by now, considering Slytherin's undeserved reputation." said Malfoy smugly.
Harry scowled and said, "Don't play dumb, Malfoy. You know perfectly well that your father is probably having a nice cup of tea with Pettigrew as we speak."
"Ah, still on about that? I read the details of the trial, quite amusing in my opinion." Malfoy turned to Ron "I never imagined your family to be the sort to hide a death eater."
Ron grew beet read and exclaimed. "That's absolute rubbish! Scabbers was an average rat!"
"Of course" said Harry, rolling his eyes, "An average rat who just happened to live past the extraordinary age of ten years. An average rat that was coincidentally missing a toe in what happened to be the same place Pettigrew would be missing afinger.An average rat that just happened to go missing when I came to Hogwarts." the boy casually leaned back in his chair and looked up at the ceiling. "Yep, absolute rubbish if you ask me."
Ron said nothing and Malfoy began to laugh. The Slytherin leaned over the cauldron to pick up his text book when a silver ring, bearing some sort of family crest; slipped of his finger into the steaming substance that was their potion. Hermione, who was the only one that had not ceased their work, immediately dutifully plucked the heirloom from the cauldron.
Malfoy exploded. "Get your filthy hands off it! That's mine!" sounding like a three year old parted with a favorite toy.
Harry's features twisted and he hissed, "Mmmyyyyyyyy P-reeeecioussss."
Hermione burst out laughing and Ron and Malfoy looked at the two as if they were crazy.
"So you've read the book?" said Harry casually, reminding himself that Hermione had not yet displayed her opinion of his situation.
"Yeah, well, the Hobbit and the Fellowship of the Ring."
"I'm at the beginning of Return of the King" noticing the two purebloods' questioning looks, he added. "It's a muggle thing."
The period continued and eventually ended without much event.
The next class was Defense Against The Dark Arts. Remus did not think too highly of the new professor. He had remarked something along the lines of 'A self-absorbed lunatic with fake hair.'
Harry entered the classroom and the Professor in question was seated on his desk smiling at awed girls. The Gryffindor was about to seek a seat at the back of the classroom once again but Lockhart called him back.
"Ah, Harry, I was wondering if we could speak in private."
Harry blinked, "Okay..."
The professor practically dragged Harry into the corridor, which was clogged with students racing to their class before the late bell rang, hardly more private than the alternative.
"Ah, Harry, I'm Gilderoy Lockhart, as you know, your new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, you may recognize me from my latest book, Magical Me."
Harry shook his head.
"Holiday's With Hags?" He said uncertainly.
Another negative answer.
"Year of the Yeti?" He asked almost frantically.
Again, Harry shook his head, wondering if this was the Daily Prophet book review.
"Ah, well, not important." continued Lockhart, beaming. However Harry swore he caught a tone of disappointment. "Anyways Harry, I was simply wondering if you needed any help whatsoever, I am prepared to aid you in anyway."
The Gryffindor blinked this Lockhart character was creeping him out. "What do you mean?"
"Well, you see, I believe that you have made some mistakes. You are young so it is easy to be misguided, however... I understand that you would regret what you have done and would wish to redeem yourself, I'd be more than happy to lend a helping hand. I understand if you are hesitant to trust someone, after last time, but I promise I only intend good. And I have many connections within the ministry so... that one year sentence once you come of age could be taken care of."
Harry completely understood. Lockhart wanted the glory of showing the confused Boy-Who-Lived the light.
"No thanks Professor." he answered coldly. "I can assure you that I have no regret for my actions whatsoever."
Lockhart looked almost fearful. "Ah, I see, well, how about a nice cup of tea Friday evening?"
Before Harry could answer in the negative, the bell rang and cut him off.
"Ah, excellent, my office, five o'clock then!" exclaimed Lockhart cheerfully.
The lesson ended up being one of the saddest events Harry had seen in a long time.
Lockhart ended up talking about himself for a good portion of the period and the rest about his dismay that only Hermione had read all of his books.
The 'Professor' ended handing out out battered extras of Year of the Yeti and assigned a summary of Chapters 1-5 and to answer the following questions:
1. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite type of shoe?
2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite pet?
3. How would Gilderoy Lockhart describe the social structure of the Himalayan tribes?
4. What is the more efficient use Gilderoy Lockhart invented for the Muggle camera?
5. In chapters 2- 4, name and describe three occurrences in which Gilderoy Lockhart wrestles a vicious mountain goat for a bezoar.
"Yes, rather suspenseful match that would be." remarked Seamus Finiggan, surveying the homework with disgust. "Goldie Locks versus Mary's little lamb, round three!"
The boys erupted into laughter while the girls simply turned their heads and said they were just jealous.
That evening, Harry tried to complete his homework, but ended up having a staring competition with the bulletin board. There is a folder pinned to the board filled with mail for students with muggle parents. Harry occasionally checked it, but now he was filled with anxiety of word from his family. Meeting his mother's wrath in the holding cell's had already left him a few scars, but he had no idea what she would think of Padfoot, the lovable mutt, actually being an Azkaban escapee.
The Gryffindor eventually steered himself back to his piece of parchment and focused on the question at hand: What more efficient use did Gilderoy Lockhart invent for the muggle camera?
Harry forced himself to not answer 'Using it to hit his temple with much force from a very close range.' Sighing, he consulted the book.
Soon, the common room began to thin and Harry spotted Hermione heading towards the girls' dormitory. Harry ran after her and blocked the threshold of the steps.
"May I talk to you in private?"
Hermione looked rather nervous but nodded.
Harry led her to a somewhat more secluded corner of the common room and the two sat down in facing arm chairs.
"Do you think I'm evil?" said Harry bluntly.
An expression of alarm crossed Hermione's features. "I-er-I don't know..."
Harry nodded.
There was a silence between them until Hermione said "I have one question though... remember a while ago, I think it was the first advanced course we had, and there was the boggart and... was that Sirius Black?"
"Yeah."
"Does that mean you're afraid of him?"
"No, I'm afraid of him getting the kiss." he replied.
Hermione nodded nervously and made her way to her dormitory.
Harry shrugged and returned to his homework.
Before Harry knew it, Friday afternoon was upon him. Even potions went more quickly than usual.
Harry slung his nimbus over his shoulder and hiked out to the quiditch pitch. Wednesday, most of his team mates said barely more than necessary to him, save Fred and George.
The Gryffindor decided that if Lockhart questioned why he did not arrive, he would simply reply that he had forgotten.
To his luck, Harry spotted the flaming red heads of Fred and George flying above him.
The boy grinned and met his friends, the three then engaged in a game with Harry and George as chasers and Fred as Keeper.
An hour and a half later, the Gryffindors made their way toward the Great Hall for dinnerwhen they bumped into none other than Gilderoy Lockhart.
"Oh, Harry, I've been looking everywhere for you!"
'Obviously not.' he thought. "Really?" he asked.
"Yes, remember, the tea?"
Harry concentrated for a moment then softly smacked his forehead. "Oh, the tea! Of course, now I remember! I'm terribly sorry professor."
"Ah, how about tea tomorrow, same time same place?"
Deciding he would not be able to get out of it, Harry agreed
"I am really beginning to dislike that guy." confined Harry to the twins as Lockhart walked away.
A/N:
Okay, that took me forever. Not because of length, I just couldn't coordinate it properly. It's still a bit awkward. Hee hee hee, Lockhart and Harry, such a lovely pair. Sorry this took so long, I'm really becoming unreliable... About the Smeagol joke... yes, corny, but in the early nineties it would have been much funnier because there were no movies, so people had not beaten that to a pulp yet.
