Author's Note: Mild lime content.

Chapter 28 The Wrath of Kunoichi

Kasumi began to pick up the dishes from the evening meal, only to have Ranma say, "Sit down, big sis. Akane and I will take care of that."

"But it's my job," Kasumi protested.

Nabiki snickered and said, "Sis, look at your husband. He's having withdrawal pains. It must have been at least thirty minutes since you've been able to kiss him."

Kasumi blushed prettily, as Akane giggled at her sister.

"Sis, you need some time together for the two of you. As soon as you came back from your honeymoon, you took over all of the household duties again," Nabiki said, "Go spend some time with Tofu."

"She's right, daughter," Soun said, surprising everyone, "You spent so much of your life taking care of us, it's time you let us take care of you for a while."

"Doc, the moon looks real pretty from the roof, and I expect you can find some privacy up there," Ranma said quietly.

Tofu grinned at his near brother-in-law and asked, "And how would you know?"

Ranma shrugged his shoulders and replied, "That's where I go to think."

"So that's what they call it now," Tofu teased, "When I was growing up they called it necking." He stood up and held out his hand to his wife, and asked, "Well, dear, shall we?"

Kasumi smiled mysteriously, and replied, "That's sounds like the start of an interesting evening." The two of them walked out of the family room, heading upstairs.

Nabiki grinned and said, "I'm glad I moved into your old room, sis. At least now my room doesn't share a wall with theirs anymore."

Akane looked puzzled for a moment and then blushed. "You have to admit, marriage really agrees with her. I've never seen her happier," Akane said.

"Him either. They deserve each other," Ranma said, happy that this time the two of them had managed to get together.


The three women worked furiously throughout the evening, Nodoka and Ukyo cooking the various menu items, while Konatsu waited on the customers. The addition of the new items on the menu had brought an increase in customers, but once word had gotten around about Konatsu, the restaurant remained packed until closing time. Nodoka found herself wishing that she had had a daughter as polished and accomplished as Konatsu.

Finally, the last customer had left, and they had completed the cleanup. Nodoka asked, "Girls, I'm heading down to the bath house. Do you want to join me?"

Ukyo stretched and said, "That's sounds like a good idea to me. I'll go get my things and meet you back down here."

"I think I'll stay here, Ukyo-sama," Konatsu replied quietly, "But thank you for asking, Nodoka-sama."

"Konatsu, I've told you to call me Auntie," Nodoka reminded the kuniochi.

"Sorry, Auntie," Konatsu mumbled, blushing prettily.

"Well, I'm off then, I'll see you at the bath house, Ukyo," Nodoka said.

Ukyo ran upstairs to fetch her bathing supplies and a clean kimono to change into, while Nodoka went to pick up the things that she had brought with her. Konatsu headed toward the small room that they had converted into her bedroom, the first room that she had ever had with a real bed.


Nodoka eased herself carefully into the pool after she finished rinsing the soap from her body. She leaned against the side of the pool and closed her eyes as she allowed the warmth of the water to tease the last bit of soreness out of her tired muscles. Chuckling to herself, she thought, 'Much as I hate to admit it, I'm not as young as I once was. Trying to keep up with those two youngsters today in the restaurant may have been a bit of a mistake.' The babble of the other women around her, talking about their various aches and pains, and the onset of old age, however made her feel much better about herself, as a faint smile of amusement passed across her face.

Ukyo finally slid into the pool next to her, after spending was seemed to be an inordinate amount of time rinsing the shampoo out of her hair. She sighed almost unnoticeably as she felt the warmth of the water loosen her aching muscles.

They stayed there for several minutes, just enjoying the sensation of the warm water. Finally, Ukyo said softly, "I never did get a chance to tell you some stories about Ranma, did I Auntie? I know we were going to the other day, but then that letter sidetracked me. I was about six years old, traveling with my father, after my mother died. We went from town to town, with Daddy pulling the yatai behind him, and me perched on top, surveying the countryside. Well, we ended up in a small town, where we stayed for several months. I made a few friends, but mostly played by myself. Daddy didn't like it when I wandered off too far. Anyway, one day, Ranma showed up asking for food. We started out making it a game. I would try to defend the yatai, and he would attempt to reach the cart. When he did, I'd make him an okonomiyaki, and would draw a smiley face on it with the sauce."

"So that's how you two became friends, then?" Nodoka asked.

Ukyo smiled briefly and replied, "Yes, we became best friends for the three months or so that he was around. We had a lot of fun together. He even helped me make my secret sauce. I can't wait to see what it tastes like when it finally has aged long enough."

"I'm glad to hear that, Ukyo. After listening to his story, it sounds like you were one of the few friends that he was able to make while he was traveling with Genma," Nodoka said, "He never was able to stay in one place long enough to really get close to any one." She sighed and added, "I should never have let my idiot husband talk me into allowing him to take Ranma away from me on that trip. He's ruined so many lives by his greed and stupidity. Genma owes you a debt of honor and as the head of the family, at least for now, I will ensure that it is paid."

Ukyo smiled a bit wistfully and said, "I suppose saying that only Ranma marrying me would satisfy that debt probably wouldn't be a good idea, then."

"Unfortunately, that wouldn't solve anything," Nodoka replied calmly, "The Tendo agreement came first so we are bound by honor to fulfill it. Besides, Ranma has created a claim on his honor by asking Akane to wed. I'm sorry for you, dear, but the love that those two have for each other is obvious. If you try to come between them, all that will happen is that you will get hurt. He doesn't love you, at least not the way you want him to. He thought of you as a brother for all these many years; he just can't think of you as anything other than a sibling."

Ukyo grimaced as if she had taken a blow to her stomach.

"I'm truly sorry, dear, I know that's not what you want to hear. I know that you think you love him, but what you want to have happen will never occur," Nodoka said sympathetically.

"I know that in my head, Auntie," Ukyo replied, "He's made that point very clear. I can't help hoping that he'll come to his senses, though. It's wishful thinking, I know." She shrugged her shoulders and sat there silently for a few moments.


Ukyo made her way down the deserted streets of Nerima, heading toward her restaurant. 'That was a good bath,' she thought to herself, 'Though the conversation with Nodoka was a bit unsettling. She obviously fully supports Akane marrying her son.' Her face fell at that thought. 'I wish Konatsu had come. She would have enjoyed herself, I'm sure,' the girl continued, 'I like her; she's such a hard worker, always eager to please me.' From the pavement behind her, she heard a strange noise. "Hey, who's there?" she demanded as she turned to see. Her eyes narrowed in anger as several shurikens came flying at her, landing on the ground where she had been standing.

"Hyappatsu Hyakuchü Shuriken!" screamed Kotet and Kouda as they threw one hundred shurikens at Ukyo.

"Why don't you two give up?" Ukyo exclaimed as she blocked all of the shurikens with her wooden bucket that contained all of her bathing supplies. She dodged the next attack by leaping up over the chain length fence that divided the street from the canal. As she flew through the air, she looked down in disbelief as the waters parted and an ugly looking fish appeared. "What now?" she exclaimed.

"Kunöichi Ninbö Ankö no Ejiki," Koume replied as she opened her mouth and trapped Ukyo in her oversized mouth.

"Oh, Oh NO!" Ukyo screamed.


Konatsu finished wiping down the small bar that surrounded the large grill that Ukyo prepared her okonomiyaki on and realized what time it was. The kuniochi had expected her back some time ago. 'Ukyo-sama is late,' the ninja thought, 'Can it be, my stepsisters.' "Ukyo-sama!" Konatsu cried as the ninja turned to go out the door hunting for the kindly girl who was allowing her to stay there. As Konatsu opened the door, an arrow hit her in the head. Konatsu pulled the paper off of the arrow, and read in dismay, 'We have the girl Ukyo. If you want her back, come to Haisuke Park.' "A challenge," Konatsu exclaimed, as the ninja began running toward the park. 'This means that because of me, Ukyo-sama has been kidnapped,' the ninja thought in dismay.

When Konatsu reached the park, the moonlight revealed another figure standing before the low wall surrounding the lily-padded pool that was the park's central feature. Konatsu recognized Ranma standing there, a letter crushed in her hand. "Ranma, what are you doing here?" the ninja asked.

"I got a note saying Ukyo had been kidnapped," Ranma replied, "I guess you got one too." 'Just like before,' he thought. He grimaced at the ninja, and said, "Take that arrow out, you look silly."

Konatsu blushed and pulled the blunt arrow out of her forehead, mentally damning herself for allowing Ukyo's kidnapping from distracting her that badly.

Ranma whispered quickly, "If they offer you something to eat, fool them. Then you and I can fake a sparring match to distract them, while Akane rescues Ukyo."

Konatsu glanced at him quickly and gave him a puzzled look but nodded.

Suddenly from the darkness, they heard an angry voice exclaim, "Now we have you fools!"

Ranma smirked and said, "Show yourselves! Are you afraid of facing us?"

"You two are becoming very annoying!" the voice continued. Konatsu recognized the voice as the hateful sound of his horrible stepmother.

"Stepmother, stepsisters, why are you doing this?" the ninja called out into the darkness.

"Come out where we can see you!" Ranma demanded, "What have you done to Ucchan?"

Suddenly from behind them, they heard the sound of the water in the pond being disturbed as if by a giant whirlpool. Turning they saw Konatsu's stepfamily emerging from the water, dressed as sea animals.

"Kunöichi Ninbö Mizu no Ikimuno," the three cried, "The kunoichi invisibility art water creatures technique!"

"I am Kotet the blue sea turtle," the stepmother cried around the horribly smelling stogie clenched in her tobacco-stained teeth, dressed in a turtle costume and flapping her flippers.

"I am Koeda, the sea imp," cried the younger, thinner daughter, looking particularly sexless in the rubber costume she was wearing, the moonlight glancing off the bald spot in the middle of her hair.

"And this is Koume, the sea monster!" the two cried pointing to the large behemoth that had risen next to them.

"I think I'm gonna be sick," Ranma whispered in an aside to Konatsu, "I don't think I'll ever get that picture out of my head."

"Where's Ukyo-sama?" Konatsu demanded.

The behemoth opened her mouth to reveal Ukyo, tied up with a rope, squirming around the slimy mouth. "Konatsu! Ranma!" she cried.

"Ukyo-sama, we'll save you!" Konatsu exclaimed as the Ranma and Konatsu exchanged glances. The two leapt as one at the ugly face of the disguised older sister, who promptly closed her mouth over the struggling Ukyo.

Kotet turned around and screamed, "Kunöichi Ninbö Umigame no Sjüsan! Kuniochi invisibility art sea turtle egg-laying blast!" as she fired a load of explosive eggs at Konatsu. The blast flung Konatsu back away from the behemoth holding Ukyo.

At the same time, Koeda leapt up into the air, and cried, "Kappa no Sara Flash!" A brilliant beam of light emerged from the bald spot on her head, attempting to blind Ranma.

"Hey! That didn't do nothing!" Ranma cried as he swung at Koeda, "Take this!" The blow drove the younger sister into the water, where she swam away. Ranma turned around to again attempt to save Ukyo, only to see the older sister dive under the water, the large tail of her costume driving her deep into the water. "Hey, come back here!" Ranma called.

Konatsu returned to the fray after shaking off the aftereffects of the mild explosions and exclaimed, "Enough! My patience has run out!" The ninja stood perched on a bamboo pole and said, coldly, "Stepmother, stepsisters! Today, I am breaking off relations with you. You are no longer my family!"

Her stepfamily froze in shock, allowing Ranma to land on top of the sister holding Ukyo captive.

"We were just joking!" Koume exclaimed.

"The only joke around here is you three," Konatsu declared, arms folded, looking sternly at the three of them.

Kotet surfaced and said with an evil grin, "Hey Konatsu, I guess you were serious!" She chuckled and held up a small tightly wrapped scroll. "Konatsu, do you know what this is?" she asked.

Konatsu gasped in horror and replied, "My secret scroll!" A bead of sweat rolled down from the ninja's forehead.

"I'll tell everyone about the secrets that you have kept!" Kotet exclaimed, her lips twisted in a wicked smile.

"You wouldn't!" Konatsu gasped.

Ranma jumped down from the head of the sea monster and stole the scroll out of the old woman's hand.

"NO, YOU CAN'T LOOK AT IT!" Konatsu cried as the ninja flew through the air and stole the scroll out of Ranma's hand.

Koeda jumped past Konatsu and snatched the scroll.

"Aaaaah," Konatsu cried.

Kotet called, "Hey, throw it to me!"

Koeda exclaimed, "Take this instead," as she threw a sea cucumber sushi roll at Konatsu, who caught it.

"Hey, expensive sushi!" Konatsu exclaimed. The ninja landed on the bank of the pond, and greedily shoved the roll in her mouth.

"Sucker!" Kotet exclaimed in glee, "In that sushi, there is a secret medicine called "Toushintan." If you eat it, then your fighting instinct will rise as high as it can, and you cannot disobey the command to fight!"

Konatsu glared at the wicked stepmother and screamed, "Aaak! NO!"

Ranma shook his head in disbelief and said, "You ate the whole thing. You moron!" 'Good fake, Konatsu,' he thought, 'I hope.'

"If you want to save her, you must kill him first," Kotet declared.

"YES! KILL!" Konatsu screamed as the ninja charged at Ranma.

"Konatsu, No!" Ukyo cried from her prison.

'Okay, it's up to you now, Akane. Let's make this look good, Konatsu,' Ranma thought. "Okay, pal, give it your best shot!" he cried as he led the ninja away from the pool, and began to trade blows with the ninja.

The two stepsisters and the wicked stepmother cackled in glee as they watched the two of them battle, trading one fierce blow after another, dodging each strike with only millimeters to spare.

Kotet cackled, her evil laugh disturbing the stillness of the night. "Good fight, Konatsu, but don't finish him too quickly or she gets swallowed!"

A shadowy figure emerged from behind the trees, and quietly examined the scene. 'So that's why Ranma said I should come,' Akane thought, 'They have Ukyo!'

The fight continued, drawing the eyes of the stepfamily as they encouraged Konatsu. "How very entertaining," Kotet declared.

Akane crept up and flipped the stepmother over on her back, leaving her defenseless. "What happens if I do that?" Akane asked as she spun the turtle-costumed old woman around.

"Mother!" Koeda cried.

"Turn me back over now," Kotet cried as Akane snatched the scroll away from her. Akane then pulled her trusty mallet out and smashed it down onto the head of the onrushing Koeda, knocking her out.

"Well, that's good. The sea monster fell asleep," Akane said. She picked up a park bench and swung one end of it over to the mouth of the monster. Then she clambered over the bench and pulled Ukyo out of her slimy prison. "Ukyo, are you okay?" she asked quietly.

"Akane," Ukyo said, "Thanks, but we don't need to worry about them, we need to stop Konatsu before she hurts Ranma." Then she spotted the scroll in Akane's hand. "Hey, that's Konatsu's secret scroll," Ukyo said in wonder.

Akane looked puzzled.

"It must be a very secretive scroll," Ukyo said, remembering Konatsu's reaction.

Akane unrolled the scroll quickly, and scanned the contents. Her eyes grew very wide as she thought, 'Wow! This is really secretive! But why?' Akane quickly rolled it back up as she saw Ukyo try to sneak a peek. "Naughty, naughty," Akane admonished.

Out of the darkness, the three evil women dropped down on top of Ukyo and Akane knocking them out. "Kunöichi Ninbö Muri no Ikimuno!" they exclaimed, as the three newly costumed creatures pranced by. "Kunoichi invisibility art forest creatures!" Kotet cackled from her fox costume. The rabbit costumed Koeda and the flying squirrel costumed Koume joined in the laughter.

The trio ran over to where the two fighters were sprawled out on the ground. "Ah, they both fell," Kotet said in satisfaction, "That was a tough battle, Konatsu!"

"Hmph!" Koeda said, as she ran over and began kicking the fallen ninja, "You deserve it! How dare you say that you are prettier than we are!"

Koume joined in, and said, "You should be treated like this!"

Konatsu shakily stood up, quickly followed by Ranma.

"Well did it work?" Konatsu asked quietly.

Ranma shook his head and replied, "Almost, but they got distracted by your scroll and your stepfamily caught them again."

"Look at this!" Kotet cried as she pointed to a nearby tree. Koume and Koeda were perched on two branches, but hanging below Koeda were Akane and Ukyo who had been dressed in Playboy bunny costumes.

"Ranchan!" Ukyo and Akane cried in unison and then they glared at each other.

'Not bad, Akane. You look pretty good in that,' Ranma thought, 'Down boy.'

Koeda cried, "They look nice, don't they?"

"Ukyo-sama!" Konatsu cried.

"Akane!" Ranma yelled.

Koume said, "If you two come with us, then you can work in the Sexy Tea Shop!"

"You could be stars," Koeda sighed with stars in her eyes.

"You could get nice clothes and good food," Kouda continued.

Akane said angrily, "I'm not going anywhere!" as she struggled with the chain holding her on the tree limb.

Konatsu gasped and said, "Don't listen to them, Ukyo-sama. She's lying, don't believe her!"

"I'm not stupid, you fool!" Ukyo snapped.

Ranma kicked Koume from behind, knocking her off of the tree, after climbing up the tree while the two sisters were distracted by Konatsu.

"You fool! I'm a flying squirrel," Koume said as she spread her arms and soared over to the limb her sister was perched on. The extra weight caused the limb to crack, sending it and the four women to the forest floor below.

Ukyo screamed, "You need to lose some weight, idiot!"

Konatsu jumped toward the falling girls, as did Ranma. Konatsu caught Akane and asked, "Are you okay, Akane-sama?"

Akane replied, "Yes, thank you."

"Here Ranma, catch!" Konatsu said as the ninja tossed Akane toward him.

Ranma caught Akane with both arms, and said, "I got her!"

Kotet leapt up and snatched Ukyo before Konatsu could grab her and took off running.

"Ukyo-sama!" Konatsu cried. Konatsu chased her stepmother, and demanded, "Please give me back my Ukyo-sama!"

Kotet said, "Okay, Konatsu, if you want her back, you can have her!" She tossed Ukyo back over her shoulder at the onrushing ninja. Konatsu gingerly cradled Ukyo in her arms and said in disgust, "At least wait until I challenge you!" The ninja landed carefully on the ground and with obvious concern asked, "Are you hurt, Ukyo-sama?"

Ukyo gazed into the other girl's eyes, and stammered, "I'm fine."

Konatsu pulled Ukyo into a tight embrace and said with tears streaming from her eyes, "Thank goodness!'

Ukyo looked extremely puzzled and asked, "Eh?"

Akane and Ranma raced over to join them. Akane said, "I think Konatsu loves Ukyo."

"What makes you think that?" Ranma asked.

Akane pulled out the scroll and unrolled it. Ranma read, 'I love Ukyo' written dozens of times across the parchment. Then at the bottom, it read, 'Ukyo-sama, I know it's not a permitted love, but my heart won't stop.'

They reached the pair, still embracing, Konatsu rubbing her cheek against Ukyo's face. Ukyo was blushing furiously as she wondered, 'What's her problem?'

Ranma cleared his throat, causing Konatsu to spring away and bow to Ukyo abjectively.

"Ah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Konatsu cried as the ninja bowed.

"Why are you acting so weird?" Ukyo asked, perplexed.

Konatsu said sadly, "I'm sorry for writing that note and making you feel uncomfortable." She hung her head and said, "I guess this is goodbye."

"Konatsu!" Ukyo said.

Akane said in protest, "NO!"

"I'll go back with my stepmother," Konatsu said, as the ninja began to walk toward her stepfamily.

"So you finally understand," Kotet said with a sneer as she placed a leash around Konatsu's neck, "You've caused everyone trouble."

"Konatsu," Ukyo cried.

Konatsu turned and said, softly, "Goodbye, Ukyo-sama."

"Let's get home now," Koeda said.

"I wonder what will happen to Konatsu now. They'll mistreat her I'm sure," Ranma said thoughtfully. 'Come on Ukyo, don't let that heart of yours fail me now,' he thought.

"Me too," Akane replied sadly.

Ukyo stood lost in thought, her face anguished, as she remembered the words that Konatsu had told her, 'You were the first person to treat me nicely.' Ukyo cried, "Konatsu, don't go back! I'll take care of you!"

"U-ukyo-sama!" Konatsu exclaimed as the ninja ripped the leash off and ran toward Ukyo.

"Mother, do you want us to get her back?" Koume asked.

The old woman thought, 'Konatsu, obedient child like you, disobeying me this much. No, it is time for the fledgling bird to leave the nest.' She cried, "Please accept this parting gift!" as she threw a large firecracker at Konatsu.

Ranma pulled a tennis racket out of thin air, and smashed the firecracker back in the direction of the three ugly women.

The firecracker exploded, causing a cloud of smoke. Out of the cloud, a happy Konatsu appeared, calling, "Ukyo-sama!" The explosion had shredded Konatsu's kimono and exposing the ninja. The ninja asked, "Can I really go with you?"

Ukyo gasped in astonishment as she suddenly realized that Konatsu was a guy. "I thought she was just a girl with a flat chest, but that's weird, a male kunoichi!" she exclaimed.

Ranma said in an aside, "See what did I tell you, Akane?"

Konatsu blushed and covered his chest, and said, "I'm so embarrassed."

"Yeah, but he acts just like a girl," Akane said.

Koeda snickered and teased, "What's wrong? Don't have any bust?"

"Yeah, you could walk around naked," Koume added.

"Don't tell him to walk around naked!" Ukyo exclaimed. She sighed, and said, "Let's go home, Konatsu."

"Yes, Ukyo-sama," Konatsu said happily.


Akane joined Ranma in their bed and snuggled up next to him. "That turned out well, didn't it?" she asked.

Ranma smiled to himself and said, "Yes, I think it did. Konatsu is a real nice person and maybe he can help with Ukyo."

"Playing matchmaker are we?" Akane asked.

"Maybe if she finds someone who likes her, she'll give up on me," Ranma replied.

"I hope it works out for her that way. I do like her, even if she is chasing my man," Akane said softly, as she pressed her lips against the nape of his neck, causing him so shiver.

"By the way, did I tell you how good you looked in that costume?" Ranma asked softly.

Akane blushed, and replied, "No, but thanks. It was kind of embarrassing though."

"I think that was sort of the idea. That and to distract us, I guess. I know I really had to work hard on what we were supposed to be doing," Ranma said, "You made quite a distracting sight."

Ranma rolled over to face her. As he bent down to kiss her, she crushed her lips against his, drawing them close together. With what was left of his mind, that which wasn't concentrating on her kiss, he realized that she was pushing the line again. Tonight, she was wearing only an oversized t-shirt, and her panties.

Breathlessly, he pulled away. "When are we getting married, again?" he asked softly.

"Not soon enough," she said, with a wicked look in her eyes.

Ranma chuckled and asked, "What happened to Miss All-Boys-are-Perverts?"

Akane blushed prettily and replied, "I guess I met you. Though I still think most boys are perverts."

Ranma smiled broadly and said, "I'm glad I'm not like most boys, then." He pulled her to him and they kissed again.

Finally, Akane yawned, and said, "I hate to do this, but tomorrow comes awfully early. We better get some sleep."

"You're probably right," he agreed, "Especially since I still need to work at the Nekohaten. Have you been doing all of your exercises while I'm there?"

"Most of them," she said sleepily, "Though I've been helping Kasumi in the kitchen a little. I still don't know that many recipes, yet."

"Just take them slowly, and I'm sure you'll do just fine," Ranma said, as he closed his eyes. He fell asleep, listening to the sound of her gentle breathing.


The next day Ranma and his friends went to see Ukyo at her restaurant and to check on Konatsu. Ranma waved at Ukyo as he entered the restaurant, holding Akane's hand, followed by their friends Yuka and Sayuri. "Hey, Ucchan," he said in greeting.

"Hi, sugar. Hey, guys," Ukyo replied, "What can I get you?"

Ranma looked at the other three and said, "Uh, I think four of the shrimp okonomiyakis and a special for Yuka. And if Mom has some of her special miso soup, me and Akane would like a bowl."

"Okay, we'll have that right out. Find a place to sit," Ukyo said.

The group made their way over to one of the booths, and sat down. Ranma sat down next to Akane, and Yuka and Sayuri sat on the bench opposite. They talked quietly among themselves about the day at school, especially complaining about the amount of homework that the algebra teacher had handed out.

Konatsu walked over carrying a tray with four glasses of water. As he arrived at the table, he stumbled slightly, with one of the glasses landing on Ranma, interrupting him in mid-speech as the water poured over him, triggering the change.

Akane handed Ranma a towel to dry herself off as Konatsu stared in shock.

"What? Ranma-sama?" Konatsu stammered.

"Ranma picked up a curse in China that turns him into a girl when he gets hit with cold water," Yuka said.

Ranma grinned sheepishly and said, "I guess that was something no one told you about, was it?"

Konatsu simply shook his head and apologized, saying, "Pardon me, Ranma-sama for getting you wet."

"Don't worry about it, man. I'm a water magnet, I'm used to it. If it hadn't been you, it would have been something else," Ranma replied.

Nodoka walked out carrying two bowls of soup. She spotted her son turned daughter and went back into the kitchen, to return with a tea kettle. She carried the soup and the tea kettle over to the table and set it down.

"Hi mom," Ranma said, "Thanks for the water."

"No problem dear, I always have the kettle on," Nodoka replied.

Ranma poured the water over her head. "So is Ukyo treating you right, Konatsu?' he asked the shell-shocked ninja.

"Oh yes, Ukyo-sama has been wonderful. I'm so glad she took me in after freeing me from my horrible step-family," Konatsu replied.

Nodoka turned from the table with an odd glint in her eye, and said softly, "Konatsu dearie, I'd like to talk to you later."

"Bye Mom, we'll drop by sometime this weekend," Ranma promised.

"Bye Auntie," Akane added. Nodoka quickly walked back into the kitchen.

A few minutes later, Ukyo walked over with the plates of food. "Here you go, sugar," she said as she placed two of the shrimp in front of Ranma and passed out the rest to the three girls. "This is working out quite well. Konatsu takes care of things in the morning while I'm at school, getting the restaurant ready for your mother at lunch and then keeps things going in the afternoon."

Ranma asked, "Does that mean his hours are twice as much as normal now?"

"Aren't you taking advantage of him?" Akane asked.

"Don't worry. That's what seems to make him happy," Ukyo replied.

Konatsu sighed from where the kimono-clad kuniochi was cleaning. "I'm so happy!" she said with glee.

The restaurant settled down into a steady routine, with Ukyo, Konatsu and Nodoka working seamlessly together in preparing and serving the meals for all of their customers. A week went by, joining the three of them in a bond of friendship. Nodoka watched carefully, and occasionally saw a wistful look on Konatsu's face when the ninja glanced at Ukyo when the chef wasn't watching. True to her word, Ukyo was taking care of Konatsu. She had doubled his wages to the princely sum of twenty yen, and had provided a nice futon to sleep on in what once was the upstairs storeroom


Ryoga watched as Shampoo readied herself for bed. Even after all these months, he was still touched by her beauty. Where before, her casual attitude about nudity had caused him to turn away, embarrassed by the perverted thoughts he was having; now, watching her undress and take her hair down gave him a great deal of pleasure.

Unbeknownst to Ryoga, Shampoo had been watching his eyes in the mirror as she brushed her long lavender hair. Hiding a smile at the look in his eyes, she turned to him and said, "Shampoo been patient too too long. It time for Shampoo to make Ryoga hers." She sauntered over, in all her radiant glory and stretched out on the bed, engulfing Ryoga in a full-body hug.

Ryoga gulped in surprise as she pressed her body tightly against him, especially as he began to react to the close proximity as well as the faint scent of her perfume causing him to rise to the occasion.

Shampoo pressed her lips against his, opening her lips slightly in an obvious invitation. Ryoga responded by sliding his tongue slowly through her parted lips. They began to kiss passionately, Shampoo sliding her hands around his back, pressing him against her. Ryoga closed his eyes and surrendered to the inevitable conclusion, wondering why he had resisted for so long.


Ranma dropped down onto the concrete bank of the canal and joined Cologne under the bridge. "When did you get back?" he asked, "And why did Shampoo tell me to meet you here?"

"I got back late last night," Cologne replied, her eyes cool. She gazed at him impassively for several long moments, causing Ranma to begin to squirm. Finally she broke her silence and asked, "You've been hiding something still, sonny boy. Originally I thought it was just the fact that you were really a boy, but there's something else. How did you know about Shampoo's memory erasing ability? How did you really know that Happosai was aware of the pitfalls of the Hiryű Shōten Ha? What was all that about him not groping you, groping Akane? And what was that about a demon? Who are you really, sonny boy?"

"I don't know what," Ranma began, only to be interrupted by Cologne whacking him on the head with her cane. "Why'd ya do that for, you old ghoul?" Ranma asked angrily, rubbing his head.

"I may be old, but I'm not senile, sonny boy. There's no way that you could have met Happosai before. He was trapped in the cave since your fool of a father managed to trap him in there, and besides he swore he had never seen either you or Akane before," Cologne growled, "Don't insult my intelligence again. You may have been able to fool me for a little while, but my patience is about to run out."

Ranma looked at her defiantly, and then sighed. "We might as well sit down then," he said, suiting his actions to his words. He waited for Cologne to join him and then he said, softly, "I'm not sure whether to be glad or not. It's been hard not to have someone to talk to about this, ya know." He sighed again, and then continued, "You're right. I have been hiding something from all of you. Before I tell you, though, I want you to give me your word that you won't tell any one else what I'm about to say."

Cologne looked at Ranma, and realized he was serious. Finally she nodded and replied, "Of course. You have my word as both a martial artist and an Amazon that what you tell me will be a secret, unless it directly impacts the tribe. If it does, I can't keep it from the rest of the Matriarchs."

Ranma thought about that for a moment and then shrugged. "I guess that'll have to do," he said. He paused, collecting his thoughts, and then said, "Well, I guess the easiest way to tell you is straight out. I came here from several years in the future. Well, I guess, not the future anymore, but a future."

Whatever Cologne had expected to hear, that wasn't it. "What?" she exclaimed.

"I was almost out of college, when something, I never did find out what, caused Happosai to get angry with me. I don't know whether it was because I had kept him from groping me once too often, or interrupted one too many pantie raids, or maybe I had let my shadow touch him, but something set him off. You know how petty he can get, but anyway, he summoned something, a demon, I suppose, to get his revenge on me," Ranma said quietly, "It attacked all of us, but was mostly going after me, which was a good thing since it kept everyone else from getting too badly hurt. I was finally able to kill it, but not before it just about split me in two."

Cologne stared at him, badly shaken. She stammered, "Then how, I mean, what happened?"

"Well, I remember as I died, that my one regret was that I had never told Akane how much," he said, then with a sob, "how much I loved her. Then the next thing I saw was a brilliant white light, and hearing a voice say, 'I'm not done with you yet, Ranma Saotome.' I passed out and then woke up, back in my sixteen year old body, on the morning we were to arrive at Jusenkyo, with all of my memories of everything that I had gone through intact, with all of the knowledge of all of the techniques I had ever learned, but not the skill to use them. And with a burning resolve to fix the things that had screwed up my life."

"What all have you changed?" Cologne asked.

"Well, I managed to prevent Ryoga from getting a curse at Jusenkyo, though I wasn't able to keep Pop and me from getting them again. And we took care of Happosai before he could cause any problems. Akane and I actually want to get married. I managed to tell her I love her, and she told me the same," Ranma replied, "I still have an unwanted fiancée, though."

"Then why'd you get your curse?" Cologne asked, "Surely that would have been something you wanted to fix."

Ranma shrugged and replied, "Well, at first I was still pretty much in a daze. I mean, after all, it's a bit of a shock to die and then suddenly wake up in the past. I kinda just followed Pop without realizing where we were going until we got there. And then the idiot wouldn't listen to either me or the guide. He fell in and started chasing me. I got my curse while saving Ryoga from falling into one of the pools."

"You must have met us, you know too many of our secrets. How did that happen?" Cologne asked.

"Well, we did stop at the village, but didn't stay very long. I made the mistake of beating Shampoo while I was a girl, and well, she gave me the kiss of death," Ranma replied, "Then when she failed at that because she found out I was a male, she went home in disgrace."

Cologne narrowed her eyes in thought. "You're not telling me the whole story, are you? I wonder why that might be. Why would you have met me? Unless," she said, then she cackled. "I see, the first time you must have beat her as a man also, so she gave you the kiss of marriage," Cologne surmised.

Ranma nodded his head reluctantly, and said, "The reason I met you in the first place was because you came to help her bring me back. But I never liked her that way, I mean, at first she tried to kill me, and then she had a c-c-cat curse. It would never have worked out."

Cologne cackled and said, "Well you don't need to worry about her anymore. She and Ryoga are definitely married now. Last night they consummated their marriage, enthusiastically, energetically, and repeatedly. As they say, the neighbors may be blind but they are rarely deaf."

Ranma stared at her in disbelief. Shaking his head, he said, "Ryoga, the boy who used to get nosebleeds if he so much as saw a hint of a breast. I never would have believed it. That explains why Shampoo looked so pleased with herself this morning." He laughed delightedly and said, "Way to go, lost boy. I didn't think you had it in you."

Cologne's mouth twitched slightly, and said under her breath, "I think it was the other way around."

He then continued, "And then there's been some new things that happened. Kodachi falling in love with Mousse was a bit unexpected, though I bet Shampoo is glad. And I sure didn't intend for Ryoga to fall for my girl side. I'm just glad that settled out the way it did." He smiled and added, "He'll have to come up with a different emotion for his ki attack when he finally tries to learn one. He sure won't use depression as a base if Shampoo keeps him happy. Speaking of making some one happy, what happened to the old freak?"

"Let's just say that he'll not be spending a lot of time outside of a pigsty," Cologne said, "We decided that would be an appropriate punishment. Though there was some discussion about having him fixed."

"That's good to hear," Ranma said, "I had to get rid of Happosai, after all he's the reason I died before. Unfortunately, that will cause problems in the future. I mean, while he was a menace, fighting him off did make me stronger. I'll need to find a way to replace that training."

"Why? What's coming?" Cologne asked.

"Well, late in my junior year, I had a run in with Saffron. He was trying to take over your part of China, and I got involved in stopping him. I'd like to avoid that this time if I could, but I need to train as if I will have to kill him again," Ranma replied.

Cologne face paled as she asked, "You went up against Saffron, the leader of the Phoenix people? And managed to defeat him?"

"Yeah, I did. It's not something that I'm real happy about," Ranma said, "But I had to do it to save Akane." 'I just wish we managed to get through the wedding,' he thought. He looked at Cologne, and said, "Well, that's pretty much it in a nutshell. Now you know why I don't want anyone else to know my story. Can you imagine Nabiki if she found out?"

Cologne nodded her head, with her mouth set in a grim smile. "I'll keep your secret, though I'll need to let the other elders know about Saffron. Maybe we can stop him before he tries anything," she replied.

"Thank you, Cologne. I'd appreciate that," Ranma said, dryly, "That was an experience I'd just as soon not repeat."

Cologne replied, equally as dry, "I can imagine. Who in their right mind would want to go up against a demi-god? The fact that you managed to defeat him is mind-boggling."

"If it's any consolation, it damn near wiped me out," Ranma replied.

Cologne sighed to herself, and said, "I just got back here, and now I'll have to go back to China. This is too important to rely on the mail service. Do you know how much trouble you're causing me?"

Ranma smirked, and said, "Remember the ancient Chinese curse. May you live in interesting times, remember?"

"Remember the saying? I came up with the damn thing," Cologne said, with a wry grin. She chuckled for a moment and then said, "Also, remember to be careful what you wish for. I believe I told you that I thought you would keep me amused, sonny boy. I guess I just got my wish. I'm heading back to the café, but I'll head back to China tomorrow. I expect that means I'll see you in a week or so."

"Have a good journey, Elder," Ranma said.

"You just take care of my restaurant. I trust you and Shampoo. But Ryoga and Mousse are hopeless," Cologne growled.

"Don't worry, the two of us can handle it," Ranma said.


Ranma leaned against the wall separating the kitchen from the main room of the restaurant to catch her breath, and to wipe the sweat from her forehead. 'Man, I can't wait for Cologne to get back from China. Who would have thought that helping out would be such hard work? And Mousse is no help, every time I turn around he's off in la-la land thinking about Kodachi,' she thought, 'And don't even mention Ryoga. How on earth did he manage to get lost between the storeroom and the kitchen? So it's just been Shampoo and me doing most of the work. At least the money has been good so far. But between here, schoolwork and training Akane, I'm about to collapse.' Sighing, she checked to make sure her uniform wasn't showing more than it should, and walked back into the front room. 'How I let her talk me into this, I'll never know?' she thought as she adjusted her top to show just the right amount of cleavage.

Nodoka walked into the Nekohaten, a happy smile on her face, followed closely by Konatsu. She saw Ranma enter the room from the door leading to the kitchen and motioned for her to join them.

Nodoka hugged Ranma and then sat down. "I have wonderful news, Ranma," she began, "We have just come from City Hall where we filled out the papers adopting Konatsu. Say hello to your new sister. I have the daughter I always wanted."

Ranma stared at Konatsu in disbelief and then began to giggle. Finally, with a strangled snort, she got herself under control, and asked, "You didn't tell them?"

"Tell me what, dear?" Nodoka asked.

"Mom, I could have sworn we told you. Konatsu no more a girl than I am, er, I mean he was, oh never mind. She's actually a he. He was just raised as a girl by his parents and stepmother, so he acts and thinks like a girl," Ranma stammered out.

Nodoka looked shocked and said, "But she, I mean he, makes such a pretty girl."

Konatsu began to weep, and asked, "Does that mean you don't want me?"

Nodoka instinctively hugged her new son, and cooed, "No, you're family dearie. It was just a shock. I had so wanted a daughter to dress up."

"Well," Konatsu said through his tears, "you do have Ranma still. And I don't mind dressing up."

Ranma spluttered in protest, "Hey, I'm really a guy."

"Yeah, son, you look so manly right now, especially with all that cleavage showing," Nodoka teased.

"Mom!" Ranma exclaimed, as her face turned beet red. She smiled at Konatsu and said, "Congratulations, Konatsu. Welcome to our family."

"Thanks, little sister," Konatsu replied.

"Little sister, huh? I guess that means you're older than I am," Ranma surmised.

Konatsu grinned, the first grin that Ranma had ever seen on his face, and replied, "Yes, I'm nearly eighteen."

Ranma giggled and said, "Well, I've always wanted an older brother. I guess I have one now."

"Come Konatsu, we need to get to work. We need to let Ukyo know that you'll be moving home," Nodoka said.


Konatsu followed Nodoka into the restaurant, just before the dinner hour rush. Ukyo smiled to see them, relieved that her two workers had shown up. Even though Nodoka had promised to be back in time, after asking for part of the afternoon off, it still had concerned her that they hadn't managed to arrive.

Nodoka hugged Konatsu, surprising Ukyo, and said, "Go get your things packed, dear, so you can move home. I'll start getting the kitchen ready."

"What was that all about?" Ukyo asked.

"Oh, I added Konatsu to the clan roll, she, I mean, he's my new daughter," Nodoka replied.

Ukyo looked downcast for a moment.

"Don't worry, Ukyo-sama, if you want I can stay here some of the time. I've enjoyed our brief conversations at night, so I don't want to lose those, but I do need to get to know my new family better," Konatsu said before he disappeared upstairs.

"That's probably a good idea. I should have thought of that. I don't want you to feel lonely, or deserted, either," Nodoka said.

"Thanks, Auntie," Ukyo said, "I've gotten used to having him around. I'd miss him if he wasn't here." The two women smiled at each other, as Konatsu rejoined them.

"All packed, but if it's all right with you, Auntie, I mean, Mom, I'll spend the night here," the kunoichi said.

Then the wa of the restaurant was disturbed that afternoon, as a tall, well-built attractive student walked into the restaurant.

"My fairest Ukyo," the young man declaimed.

"Hi Souta," Ukyo replied, two red spots appearing in her cheeks, "What brings you here?'

"My two feet, and the burning desire I have for you," Souta replied with a cheeky smile. Then he sobered and replied, "Seriously, Ukyo, I was wondering if you might be free tomorrow evening. I'd like to take you out to a movie."

Ukyo blushed prettily and said, with a sad smile, "I'm sorry, Souta. I'm already spoken for. I have a fiancé."

Souta's face fell in dismay. He replied, "I didn't know that, I thought you were single. How come all of the good ones are taken?" He sighed and said, "Well, I'll see you around, I guess."

Konatsu asked, hoping his jealousy was well-hidden, "I didn't know you were engaged. Who is it?"

"I'm supposed to be married to Ranma-honey," Ukyo replied.

'That's odd. I thought he was engaged to Akane,' Konatsu thought, 'I think I'll pay him a visit soon.'


Ranma looked up from the floor of the dojo where he had just finished his exercises for the evening. There standing at the doorway was Konatsu. "Hey, big brother," Ranma teased, "What's up?"

"What's going on between you and Ukyo-sama?" Konatsu said icily. Several shurikens were in his hands.

Ranma sighed heavily, and said, "She is a friend to me, nothing more. Pop unfortunately has screwed up our lives. He and Mr. Tendo promised that the two families would be joined by the marriage of their children, a promise that was made before I was born. Then when we were off on a training trip, he promised Ukyo's father that I would wed Ukyo. Well, both of those things can't happen. I love Akane and fully intend to marry her, but Ukyo still considers herself my fiancée. I care for her, but I just think of her as my sister, nothing more."

The shurikens disappeared and Konatsu looked just a bit friendlier. "Then, Ranma-sama, why haven't you told her that?" he asked.

"I have, repeatedly, as have several others. She just doesn't want to listen," Ranma said. Then he asked, "Why do you care?"

"You know how I feel about Ukyo-sama," Konatsu said softly, "Then this afternoon, someone named Souta asked her out."

"Way to go Souta," Ranma said, "Maybe he can get her to forget about me."

"NO! She turned him down, that's how I found about that she believes she is engaged to you," Konatsu said.

"What do you want to have happen?" Ranma asked carefully.

Konatsu replied, "I want Ukyo-sama to be happy. If that means she must marry you, then I will make sure that happens."

"I can't make her happy, since I would be miserable, Konatsu," Ranma replied quietly, "I am very much in love in Akane, and don't feel that way about Ukyo. If she can't marry me, would you consider it?"

"I love her," the kuniochi said simply, "I would do anything for her."

"She deserves to have a man that loves her, Konatsu," Ranma said, hesitantly.

"And I grew up thinking I was a girl," Konatsu said. He sighed, and said, "Can you teach me what it means to be a man?"

"I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask. Why don't I introduce you to Nabiki? I'm sure she can help you," Ranma suggested.


Author's Notes: I hope everyone is still enjoying this story. As always, constructive criticisms and comments are welcomed and appreciated. For specific comments to some of the reviews, see below.

Daniel Kim: Thanks for the kind words. I'm glad you took a chance and read my story. I hope to continue to make it interesting, especially since there are still a lot of tales in the manga and anime to mine for ideas.

Shinigami: Konatsu is in volume 35 of the Japanese Manga. I think the English translatation will only have around 36 since they are grouping the stories a bit different as best as I can tell.

Dimitri Placebo: Welcome aboard. I'm glad you found time to read all four of my stories. FYI, Ramna's Decision was my first one, with Different Path the second, and Second Time Around the third. Nabiki's Plan was my attempt at an angsty take-off of Different Path. Blush, me write an actual book. I'm not sure I have that ability, but thank you kindly again. As to the little crossovers, those are fun to write. Everyone seems to enjoy them.

Xero Reflux: I think Kirin will be showing up sometime. I have a plotline based on that movie. Toma, I haven't decided about. I really didn't like that movie too much, and nothing's jumped out at me about that plot.

Psycho King: Yeah, think of the Three Stooges in drag is what they kind of reminded me off. I enjoyed your explanation of why certain events must take place. LOL. Of course, you only win the prize if you can explain why they were important. VBG. Hint, it has to do with some of the WAFFY moments in canon.

Oceanus: I guess you know the answer now. Of course, what will Cologne do now that she knows some of the truth.

Pivot: Oh well, the translation I had didn't translate Kenzan, but instead made it look like his last name.

Innortal: Akane of course already knows. That's what Ranma whispered to her, when Nabiki showed up with the picture. Now, Nodoka knows, and who knows what's wandering through her mind.

Night-Owl123: Me, either. The reactions will be interesting.

Wonderbee31: Ukyo deserves happiness. The only question is where will she find it. As too Akane treating Ranma with the kindness she showed Ryoga, I think it had a great deal with how they met in canon. I suspect she felt betrayed, or lied to, and then the pressure of being engaged to Ranma made her angry, and it just kept spiraling out of control. Like Kasumi said, she's a nice girl, and if she can keep her anger out of it, I think she would have treated Ranma nicely, also. Since Ranma fixed the things that caused her to get mad at him early, they never started the vicious circle of behavior.

Hououza: Konatsu is in volume 35 of the manga. Of course, I did take liberties with the story line. Wouldn't want it to be a copy of canon, not particularly interesting then.

Dragon Man 180: I definitely think Konatsu will be training Ranma and Akane some of his techniques. After all, it is called the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts for a reason. And of course, now, Ranma will be training Konatsu.