Long Ago

The Tale Of A Dead Mother


Inspired completely by a fanfic entitled "Thoughts On A Forbidden Romance" by Lady Nephenee Ranulf. I must give this writer credit. Just from reading this story it has given me the inspiration to write this fanfic. I don't own Tales Of Symphonia or its characters, just wanted to write something about them. SPOILERS IF YOU HAVE NOT FINISHED THE GAME DO NOT READ THIS FANFIC! Finish the game first and be a good little fan. SPECIAL THANKS TO LADY NEPHENEE RANULF, TAKAMINEROCKS, KRATOS WILDER, Lyra the Sorceress of Scholars, Scaff, Sunfrost, Vincent's Angel of ChaosTabatha is MartelFehizeWindRyu HyrokoServant of Mother Earth, Sapphire-luna232, kopakanuvafan20, RedDiamondWarrior, Lloyd-forever, ToS.Lover5, kaiaurion, burnstar, Alaia Skyhawk, Kranna 25, -SnapAshandarei-, Twilight Ilia, SilverFinDragon, Sarinna, Brendan Aurabolt,CBK, andy, Hiddenwaveprincess, Rydia Asuka, Ashyx, eyes of the infinite galaxy, Arisu TsuranuGoddess of LunarHigh Priest of DuckyShining Peridot Moon, KratosManiac, silverstar's shadow, killerbunbun, kitty-katz-katz, crazyboutToS, crystalwolfberri, kratos fangirl, koyuki-san, dragonflies87, zelda aurion, crazyboutToS AND CLEARHEART FOR REVIEWING!!


Chapter 28---Loss

Lloyd was running down the hallway as fast as his legs would go, not being able to go outside as much since the snows began to come. Anna and Kratos had discussed the fact that she may have been pregnant again, that it was a good thing and not a bad thing in the slightest, and that Kratos, although he did not show it well, was excited internally. It had been four months since Anna's discovery, and they had been chatting about it a little in trying to make another nursery or to have the baby and Lloyd share a room. Nothing had been so far determined.

The Desians were dead, and as far as the monster could see there was no other sign of any arriving in the valley or nearby since Kratos had been unconscious. Kratos had done a "once over" himself but with the same result, would there be an attraction to their little hide-away? Did his old Lord believe they were still on the other side? Was Yuan keeping them at bay again?

Anna had gone to take a bath downstairs, leaving Lloyd to play with his father for the next few minutes until he was supposed to be taking his nap.

Kratos quickly followed his son down the hall, trying to catch him at a faster walking speed but Lloyd wanted to be chased, not caught.

"Lloyd," Kratos said in a stern voice as Lloyd ran under the dining table, "It is time to put you down for your nap."

"No nap! Don wan nap!" Lloyd giggled as he scooted and sat under one of the dining chairs.

"You might not want it, but you will need it," Kratos said sternly still, walking slowly around to the back of the room where Lloyd had some what trapped himself. Kratos stopped, his ears picking up something he hadn't heard in years, something that cut him through to the quick.

It was coming from the bathroom, down in the earth just below them.

"Noishe," Kratos said loudly. Noishe, who had been sleeping in the back bedroom next to the warm fire place, rolled over lazily and wandered down the hallway, sticking his head under Kratos' arm as Kratos heard it louder.

"Put Lloyd to bed," Kratos ordered, walking down the stairs quickly and turning towards the bathroom on the bottom landing.

Anna, draped in a thick blanket only, was sitting on the edge of the tub, her mouth covered but tears falling from her eyes as she almost doubled over.

Kratos walked in slowly, not sure if he was supposed to be there, and then he saw the drawn bath and the water slightly rosy in color, what had happened?

"Anna," Kratos almost whispered, edging his way closer and kneeling in front of his wife. "Anna."

He ran his fingers through her wet, stringy hair, her head slowly looking up. Her eyes red, she looked at him as if pleading, as if she had done something wrong. He tried to stay strong, he didn't want to give his concern away completely, but as he wiped the tears on her cheeks and eyes away with his thumbs, he knew his face gave his care and concern away. She breathed in and out shakily, trying to calm herself down as her eyes looked down to her hands. She felt rigid, closed off as her legs were tightly together; her arms were against her sides as her hands intertwined tightly in her lap.

"Please, Anna," Kratos whispered. "What is it? What is making you so upset?"

Anna hicupped slightly, tears falling silently on her arms and lap. Kratos held both her arms softly.

"You're going to be so disappointed in me," Anna said remorsefully, her eyes looking up at him but her head still held itself down.

"No," Kratos whispered at her, placing tentative smile on his face to try and cheer her up. "No, you could never disappoint me."

She shook suddenly, erupting with more tears and leaning forward again and into Kratos' chest. Kratos held her bare back tightly, still very confused as to what had happened, what had she done to think she had disappointed him?

"It's gone, Kratos," she said sobbing into him chest. "I lost it, it's all my fault! It's all my fault…"

Lost it? Lost what? If she lost her ring he wouldn't have been disappointed, saddened yes, but not disappointed. He did not want to asker what "it" was from fear of making her more upset, but he wanted to know.

Her arms wrapped around his neck, and with that her legs were exposed; he saw the sticky stain of red. His head came to the conclusion like a lead ball falling to the ground, she had lost the baby.

He held her shoulders tighter, holding his eyes closed so firmly, so painfully, he feared tears would fall from his own. He couldn't let her feel like she had done this deliberately, there wasn't a way that she could have. He knew he couldn't know how she was feeling at that moment, four months along and now suddenly it was gone, but the stinging inside his chest made him realize that he had too been excited to have another baby, to be able to share another child with Anna, and he felt more horrible in that moment than any other in his life so far.

"It's my fault…"

"Anna," Kratos said sternly, pulling her away from his chest and holding onto her shoulders. He found her eyes and looked deep within them, Anna still crying silently but unable to look away from him. "Anna, you will listen to what I have to say."

Anna's face fell again, but Kratos held her chin up gently.

"This is not your fault, Anna. This is not your fault. Do not blame yourself, do you understand me? Do not even think about blaming yourself. It is not your fault, I promise you," Kratos stated, her eyes closing painfully and needing to let his words sink in.

"But—"

"No," Kratos said loudly. "Do not even think it."

"I can't stop thinking it…" Anna sobbed.

"I am not disappointed in you, I could never be…because this is not your fault. Anna…I am sad, for you and for me, but I am going to do whatever I can to make you believe that you cannot blame anyone."

"I wanted to…"

He couldn't say anything as her voice faded and her tears took over. Kratos let her cling to him again, holding her as strongly as he could as if to keep the world around them from getting to her, but he couldn't any longer. The world had stabbed her already. Once again there was a part of the world he couldn't protect her from, what was he to do?

He set his mouth next to her ear, pulling the blanket to cover her further to keep her from getting cold, before whispering to her, just her, not the world,

"We will try again, and no matter what happens, nothing can stop me from loving you."

She tightened her grip on his neck and moved closer to him, indicating to Kratos she wanted to be picked up, she wanted to be protected, she wanted to be hidden, she wanted to be child like and scared but she wanted support. He scooped her under her legs, making sure the blanket was covering her body before leaning over the tub and draining the pink water away, making the reminder go away and filling the tub again with steaming water. He wasn't disturbed in the true sense of the natural events that were a part of her, but still disturbed that his baby was now gone.

Slowly, he pulled the blanket from her hidden body and with as much ease as possible, lowered her back in to help clean her of her burden.


Lloyd, what was placed in his crib and crawled back out of it, was now asleep on the floor next to Noishe, his back rising and falling slowly as his father walked into the room. Kratos had left Anna in the tub to give her some privacy, but he saw in her eyes that she didn't want to be left alone for long, so he agreed to check on Lloyd to make sure he was sleeping, of course, she didn't say where he had to have been. Casually and carefully, he lifted his son to the crib, hoping he would stay asleep. Something he would never be able to tell his son, or explain to him when he was older, that at one time he might have had a little brother or sister.

Down below, Anna was in pain, emotionally and physically, and now more tired than she had ever been. She was fighting her body, she was fighting the fact that she wasn't going to have this baby anymore, but she was still tired, and fighting now was pointless. She curled her body against itself, letting the water cover her body and submerge her skin, trying to forget the strange smell in the air and the lack of any other soul in the room. Kratos has said that they would try again, but what if she didn't want to? What if having Lloyd was it? What if she wasn't meant to have more than him? Did something happen to her in the last pregnancy?

Her head leaned against the side of the porcelain tub, swallowing down her tears and anger with herself and letting the water boil her. What Kratos had said had made a dent in her feelings, but she still felt the disappointment in herself that she had felt before. No matter what Kratos said, this was her body, and this was her body's fault.

Her eyes shut tightly, she tried to realize that her life now was far better than what it was, what it was back at the Human Ranch. There she would have never had the chance to be married, to have children, to share a life with someone else. There, worries were far different, problems were far different. Food, clothing, shelter, was far different.

To even have the chance to have one son, something mystical about it now. Lloyd was healthy, happy and maybe was enough for now. He wouldn't have existed if they hadn't escaped the ranch, she knew it. And maybe that idea would help her accept the fact that Lloyd was a blessing, a miracle, and her life here was indeed a miracle.

For now, she would have to let the heat boil her, she would have to try and contain herself.

The ground began to shake above, the walls of the basement vibrating and causing Anna to wonder what was going on. Was it the monster? Was he coming to warn them? Anna quickly left the tub behind, feeling dizzy from the hot water but getting herself dressed as fast as possible.


Kratos made his way outside, shutting the door behind him and watched as the beast barreled its way closer, but something was abnormal in the situation. Riding upon the monster, was Yuan with a nervous look on his face. Before the monster could stop, Yuan landed near Kratos, stepping forward slowly towards his friend as the beast of the mountainside skidded to a halt.

Yuan's stare was wide and unaltered, not blinking, not looking away. Kratos gave him a questioning look in response, something was urgent in the look, something was wrong.

"Yuan, old friend," Kratos greeted and cast his hand out, Yuan taking it but his face stayed the same. "What has happened?"

"I should be asking you that question," Yuan said urgently. "An entire regiment of Desian enslavers has vanished from the border of Triet and the desert. You wouldn't have anything to do with that, do you?"

Kratos stayed silent, the front door opening behind them and Anna stepping out into the sunlight, her hair stringy and wet.

"Kvar has become suspicious, an entire raiding party just up and disappears? When there is no resistance, no real threat around here? Now...what was that legendary swordsman talk a few months back? Kvar is beginning to put two and two together, Kratos, he is sending more Desians to take a look at the area to rule this entire mountainside out, to make sure that there is nothing here. I barely had time to make up an excuse to leave and come here, to warn you to get out of here as soon as possible. If there is anything out of place, anything at all, he will come here himself to look for you both. Get Lloyd, and run, Kratos. Run."


End Chapter 28