Thank you all for the reviews last chapter they've all been amazing.
BPOV
And I closed my eyes taking a deep breath as I felt the coolness of the blade as I pushed the knife against my skin.
I opened my eyes and looked down at my thigh where I have the knife touching one of my old wounds and I felt my body lockdown in anticipation for me to just do it already. I knew I would get instant relief which is exactly what I need at the moment but a part of my subconscious was telling me this is wrong and that I'll never forgive myself it I act upon it.
I was seriously having one of those situations where I felt I had a devil and angel on my shoulder telling me the pros and cons of my actions.
But truly in this moment right and wrong meant nothing to me so I slanted the knife against my skin and just as I was about to push the blade into my skin I heard a knock on my bathroom door.
"Hey Belly you in there?" Rosalie called out from behind the door
I immediately frozen and looked down to my hand that held the knife with disgust.
Oh my god.
I cannot believe I was open to do that.
Rosalie knocked out the door again and I realized I hadn't answered her yet
"Um… just a minute Rose." My voice sounded strain in my own ears so I know that was enough to alarm Rose with concern.
I through the offending object into the hamper and slide myself down on the floor feeling the shame from my action
"Are you okay?"
"Um yeah just give me a minute. I'll be right out." I said as I felt the tears build up.
"Alright Belly I'll be downstairs" It still sounded like she was concern about me in her tone but I knew Rose wouldn't push me because she knew I'll come to her when I was ready.
I stayed on the floor laboring my breath before putting on my robe and leaving my bathroom.
I quickly threw on some comfort clothes and went downstairs to join Rose who surprisingly had a plate of hot fudge brownies and ice cream waiting for me.
Rose smiled at me as she put the spoon to her lips and motion me to join her. I was immediately worry by her actions, Rose would not just come over her baring my favorite treats unless one of us called the other stating we were distress.
I returned the smile as I took a seat and like the warm of the hot fudge brownie and ice cream take over my senses.
"Ummm" I moaned as I took the first bite
We ate in silence for awhile but it did not escape my notice that Rose kept eying me cautiously but I choose to ignore it because I knew whenever she was ready she'll broach the subject that was on her mind.
"So" She said as she took another bite
"So" I responded back waiting for here to continue
"I received an interesting call today" She said being very cryptic
I knew she was baiting me but I was too curious to see where she was going with this.
"That's good I hope the call was good news was it from anyone I know?"
Rose furrow her eyebrows together before proceeding "I wouldn't go as far as saying the call was good news but it was from someone you know which actually shocked the hell out of me when I received their call."
I was getting tired of her cryptic replies "Are you going to tell me who called or are we going to just keep this baiting game up?" I replied sarcastically
"Okay you called me out so care to explain why Edward called me this morning?"
I froze with the spoon midway before composing myself and shrugged.
Edward called Rose.
Why the hell would he do that?
"What did he want?" I asked shyly
"Care to explain why he felt you might need some comforting this morning?" she replied coolly
Ah so that's what she was getting up and why she setup my favorite comfort food but why would Edward go out his way to call her?
I heard a very small voice from within say because just maybe he does really care for you but I shook my head ignoring that thought. I could not plant any seed of hope because it'll destroy me if I let myself hope only to come up short.
"I guess he felt bad for upsetting me this morning when he came over and when he saw that I need comforting he attempted to reach out to me and I refused his comfort. I don't know why he felt the need of calling you though as you can see I'm fine. I cried a lot in front of him yeah but no need for him to call you so he can have a clear conscious about making me cry and upsetting me." I didn't like lying to Rose when I said I was fine but I couldn't bring myself to tell her about the shame she unknowingly saved me from by coming over when she did.
"Fine huh?" She said cocking her eyebrow at me
"Yes Rose I'm just fine it's just hard seeing him when I'm trying to let him go and he came over trying to get me to change my mind about the motion I had my lawyer file regarding his limited visitation rights. Things were said and I blow up at him. Thank you for coming over Rose but you didn't need to stop what you were doing just to clear up his guilt."
Rose nodded her head but not necessarily in understanding though as she reached out for my hand
"I'm not going to push it but when you ready to talk I'm here. I know how sensitive of a subject Edward is to you so I'll drop it for now but I just want to clear up on thing before I do. The sound of his voice when he called me did hold guilt but it held other things too. I know you do not want to hear this but he truly doesn't care for you asswardness aside when it a boils down to it that man cares for you. He just has a funny way of showing it as of lately."
I felt that hope surging within me and immediately bat it down trying to decipher his angle.
"He's just probably trying to rope you in over to his side with his fake concern." Even as the words left my mouth they should false in my own ears but I just ignored that feeling
Rose just smiled at me "So anyways tell me about this Jacob fellow?" She asked changing the subject to one I knew she was dying to ask me about since I left her house yesterday.
So I went on and told her who Jacob was and how I met him exactly also how I agreed to go on a coffee date with him tomorrow morning.
She features etch with concern as I told her all of this.
"You waiting this long to tell me this man can be Bella for crying out loud this man can be a some sort of psycho. Please call him up and cancel on him for tomorrow." She pleaded with me
"Rose if he was some sort of psycho or homicidal maniac he could of hacked away at me that day and no one would of found me plus he could of taken advantage of me when a slept but he didn't. It's not like by accepting this coffee date that I'm accepting a marriage proposal or something. I just think it's refreshing to talk to someone with an outside perspective so turn off your radar already he's a good person Rose."
Rose just look at me warily "I do not know about this Bella. Yeah he could have done something to you when he had you by himself but what if it's his angle to gain your trust before going in for the kill or something. You know I do not believe in coincidences so it's hard for me to accept that he just happened to be walking by and saw you in distress. Plus you've got enough complications in your life right now that you don't need any more nor do you need to be starting any new type of relationship now."
I was about to reply to him when my house phone began ringing and Rose reached behind her to answer it "Hello"
I watched as Rose listened intently to what the person on the line was telling her and slowly Rose's face began to lose all color.
"Um thank you for the call we'll be right there."
I looked at her with a looked that said what the hell and she just told me to come on no time to explain we have to hurry up and get to the kids school.
I froze when she said that.
My voice began to panic as I asked her "What the Hell is going on Rosalie?"
"I don't know the details fully all I know it's something pertaining to Ashley being sick, nosebleeds, throwing up and then she passed out now I'll drive and you call Edward and have him meet us by the ER by the kids school. The school already called an ambulance because she's still unconscious"
She looked at the expression on my face when she mention Edward's name and immediately began berating me
"Put your bullshit aside for now because you know how he got last time when he found out Ashley was sick."
I just nod me head letting the subject drop. I was no mood to see him again especially after I came so close to relapsing.
However right now this was about me and my little girl needed us so for the sake of my daughter I had to put on a united front. I thought to myself as I dialed Edward's number.
Edward answer his phone on the three ring
"Bella I'm so glad you called"
"Save the pleasantries Edward this is not a social call Ashley's school is rushing her to the ER near the school I'm just calling to let you know so you can meet us there."
I was greeting with silence
"Edward are you still there?" I shouted into the phone
"I'm on my way" He responded as he hung up
I just state their shaking as Rose drove to the hospital trying to comprehend what exactly was wrong with my baby.
Please God let my little angel be okay
A/N
FOUR UPDATES WITHIN THE LAST 24HRS DO I FEEL A 5TH COMING ON? All those in favor say I LOL
I did say someone would end up in the hospital in the Motherly Advice update and I also foreshadowed Ashley becoming sick a few chapters back only reader caught that.
Now Ashley being in rushed to the hospital is a very interesting twist to the story and at this point I can safely say without revealing too much.
THIS WILL IMPACT EDWARD BIG TIME
