With or Without

Murphy grabbed Ila's hand and pulled her back from the group as everyone continued on to the hideout.

"Let's go back. We shouldn't get involved," Murphy suggested.

"What? No. Raven's in trouble, Murphy. We have to help her," Ila stated, incredulously.

"She'll be fine with everyone else. They don't need us," Murphy argued.

"This isn't up for discussion, Murphy. I'm going. If you don't want to, then stay," Ila shook Murphy off her wrist and rushed off after the rest of the group. Murphy shook his head and followed after her reluctantly with a heavy sigh.

Ila caught up with Bellamy, walking beside him. He seemed a little uncomfortable around everyone, as though he didn't belong. Same went for Octavia. There was so much tension and so much that had happened since she and Murphy had returned to their reality. Everything felt different. Even the way the air stuck to Ila's skin felt a little heavier with change…grief.

"Bellamy…I'm…I'm really sorry I left in the middle of all the confusion with Mount Weather. You know I would've gone to help…I was trying to get back the whole time," Ila tried to explain herself.

"You don't need to explain anything to me," Bellamy replied in a hushed voice.

"Murphy and I were locked up in a lighthouse that whole time," Ila continued.

"Ila, I mean it," Bellamy looked at her, "I understand. You don't have to defend your absence. You can't change what happened."

Ila stared at him in silence as they continue walking onward.

"I'm just happy you're okay," Bellamy continued. Ila smiled shyly, her heart fluttered with appreciation.

"I'm glad you're okay, too," Ila responded. Bellamy smiled weakly to himself, his eyes dropping to the ground for half a moment and then raised. An awkward silence suddenly overtook them. Ila considered how Murphy would be watching them right now – their innocent, small talk and sweet smiles at one another. It boiled Ila's blood to watch Murphy be like this with Emori back in the Dead Zone, she wondered if he felt the same way now. Should she stop? She was torn. She didn't think anyone deserved to feel those kinds of emotions but at the same time she had this conflicting feeling that probably stemmed from the bitterness.

"So…why is Clarke in the grounder city?" Ila asked, hoping to break the tension.

"Polis," Bellamy corrected, "Clarke chose the grounders over her people."

"That doesn't sound very Clarke," Ila stated, unconvinced. Perhaps Bellamy was bitter, too.

"Well, she left us," Bellamy nearly growled through gritted teeth.

Ila creased her eyebrows and frowned nervously. There were so many things she didn't understand anymore, so many –

"Ila!?"

Ila snapped her head forward, looking up to see the face that fit the familiar voice. The darkness of the looming night made it difficult to see but she found him without a doubt.

"Kwon!" Ila shouted, running toward him as soon as she spotted him peeking out of the mouth of a cave.

She jumped into his arms and tears began to pour down her face. Something good. Finally something good was left for her.

"You're alive! I knew you were alive!" Kwon squeezed his arms tightly around her shoulder, placing the side of his face on the top of her head.

The two let go of their embrace as the rest of Ila's group caught up to them.

"Where the hell have you been?" Kwon asked her.

"Around," Ila laughed through sobs. Everyone went inside the cave, where they could hear Raven struggling to break free. They were all greeted by Miller, Sinclair, Brian and Harper. Ila smiled at each of them, happy to see her fellow delinquents still alive. They nodded back at her in response, but didn't seem quite as happy to see her. Kwon acknowledged Murphy as he moved up behind Ila. It was a sort of "thank you for keeping her safe" sort of nod, knowing that Murphy had been with her the whole time – or at least assumed so.

Ila made her way into the cave after Kwon and saw Raven tied down to the ground with a blindfold wrapped around her eyes. She squirmed about, tossing herself around.

"You brought new friends? Who else is with you, now?" Raven taunted.

"Is that really Raven?" Ila whispered to Kwon.

"She's been possessed by ALIE. They all have – everyone that's been chipped," Jasper stood up from beside Raven .

"Is that Ila? I bet Murphy's not too far away," Raven laughed maniacally.

"What's with the blindfold?" Monty asked.

"She can't know where we are," Jasper replied, "Or ALIE will send for reinforcements."

"So what are we supposed to do with her?" Murphy asked.

"There's gotta be some way to get the chip out of her," Jasper stated.

Monty made his way over to Raven cautiously and began to prod the back of her head with his fingertips.

"I have a crazy idea, but I think it might work," Monty suggested, "I need someone to go-"

"MONTY," Kwon shouted, stopping him from saying anymore, "Just take whoever you need and go."

Monty nodded, nearly scared out of his skin. Monty grabbed Octavia and the two headed out of the cave.

"She has to be watched. We can take her in shifts," Jasper explained, "Just until they get back. Everyone else can get some sleep or keep watch."

Bellamy, Brian and Miller went out to guard the mouth of the cave while Harper and Sinclair laid down to sleep by the fire. Murphy, Ila and Kwon were huddled around Raven as silence filled the cave – save for the crackling of the flames that warmed the air.

"Murphy's awful quiet. Did Ila finally get you whipped?" Raven commented.

"Screw you, Raven," Murphy snapped.

"There he is," Raven smiled evilly.

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat as much as she could, her face drifting from one end of the room to the other as if to try to analyze the interior of the cave through her blindfold.

"How long has she been like this?" Ila asked Kwon.

"I don't know. Jasper brought her here this evening while we were waiting for the whole Monty and Bellamy trade. I wasn't expecting you to come back…or Bellamy for that matter," Kwon lowered his voice.

"Ila wouldn't let her back-up boyfriend get hurt, now would she?" Raven chimed in.

"Who the hell asked you?" Murphy barked back.

"Hey, is everything okay in there?" Bellamy called back to them.

"Fine!" Kwon called back in response.

"Sure, things seem fine, but even I could see Ila and Murphy's relationship was doomed from the beginning," Raven snarled. Ila stood up slowly as Raven continued.

"Bellamy has always been there for Ila and she has always been able to depend on him, but Murphy –"

Ila threw her fist, knocking it with a smash against the side of Raven's face. Raven was knocked out cold as her head fell, limp.

"Ila! What the hell!?" Kwon shouted, alerting everyone at the mouth of the cave and startling the other two awake who had been sleeping.

"That takes care of that problem…sorry Raven." Ila frowned, looking at her fist. It was severely bruised after today.

"Why the hell would you do that?" Murphy asked wildly.

"I'm sure Raven will be okay with it. She should know better than talk shit about our relationship," Ila replied.

"Is everything alright?" Sinclair questioned, sitting up in his bed.

"Yeah," Ila reassured him. Sinclair stared at her for a moment, unconvinced and furrowed his eyebrows at her. She stared back at him blankly, void of all emotion. She had put up with enough shit for one day.

"They're back!" Bellamy called back to the group. Monty and Octavia immediately rushed back toward Raven.

Ila walked out to the mouth of the cave as Octavia and Monty rushed in. Monty looked distressed with a flushed face. Ila turned her head to watch him rush toward Raven. Ila continued out into the cool night air. Bellamy watched her as she ran her fingers through her hair, pacing before the mouth of the cave.

"Everything okay?" Bellamy asked.

"Yeah…yeah," Ila responded unconvincingly, "I'll keep watch, you go ahead inside."

Bellamy frowned at her and made to turn into the cave to check on Raven as Miller and Brian followed.

Murphy came out to join her as she sat down on a log, looking out into the forest. He sat slowly beside her, his eyes watching her intently. Once settled into his seat, comfortably, he took up her hand gently to hold it. She looked down to observe this action as her heart fluttered. A wave of emotion had taken hold of her as though it was the first time they were touching. The forest was quiet in the night, even though the two could here everyone within the cave. But Murphy and Ila were separate from them, like old times…and it felt oddly nice and reminiscent. Ila smiled to herself and twisted her hand in Murphy's so her fingers could interlock with his.

"I'm with you," Murphy whispered to her. The words struck a heartstring in Ila that almost put her in tears, but she held them back, decidedly squeezing Murphy's hand a little more instead.

"I'm with you, too."