A/N: A mostly Eric focused chapter for once. Poor little Eric. Him, Ronald and Alan are so cute. And some more of William and Shelly's complicated (and important for upcoming plot) history. And the Viscount, because I love flamboyant and eccentric characters who turn up for small scenes. They're all adorable. And omg who badly proofread was last chapter? I've gone through and redone most of that because I was obviously half asleep and not paying attention. So, yes, thank you for your reviews and please keep them coming.
Eric groaned slightly and opened his eyes. He was lying in a hospital bed. He frowned and scrunched his eyes closed again. The whole place was too bright. Obviously those black records had done a lot more damage than the first one. There was a gentle weight on his stomach. He forced his eyes open again, expecting to see Alan. Instead he was pleasantly surprising to see the familiar mop of blonde and black hair. He smiled softly and reached out carefully, brushing his fingers against his hair. Ronald's eyes snapped open and he gasped, sitting up quickly. He grabbed his glasses and pulled them on and then a moment later Eric's glasses were gently slipped on. Ronald smiled weakly. He looked terrible.
"I didn't think I was that bad," Eric groaned. "What happened?"
"You got a fever and you were struggling to breath and you had to be hospitalised," Ronald whispered, sitting on the bed and resting his chin on his knees. Eric suddenly got a horrid sinking feeling. "We thought you'd be ok."
"I am ok," he said.
"Then Alan had a really bad attack," he continued. "William decided since I was suffering so badly I should come back with him and keep an eye on him." A few tears slipped down Ronald's cheeks and Eric didn't need him to go on. He knew what he was going to say. "Eric... I don't know what to do. They won't let me work, they keep offering me help and people to talk to but it doesn't do anything. Everyone's avoiding me, they all feel so sorry for me... I couldn't do anything other than sit here and keep an eye on you and try not to go insane." He grasped his hand and Eric squeezed gently, trying to be reassuring and strong for him. "I'm sorry, Eric."
He struggled to sit up and gently pulled Ronald into his arms, trying to calm him down somehow. Alan was gone... and he hadn't even been there for him when it happened. He tangling his fingers into Ronald hair as he cried, trying to hold back his own tears. He couldn't let Ronald down now. He needed him now more than ever. At least Ronald wasn't afraid of him anymore. There was an aching pain in his chest, and everything felt so empty. He just held onto Ronald as tightly as he could. He had to make sure Ronald was alright. There was nothing else he could do.
"Are the others still at the church?" Ronald moved back slightly and gazed up at him through his tears. Eric's blood ran cold. "Ron? What's going on? How long was I out?"
"It's been three months, Eric," he whimpered.
Everything fell into place at that. Why Ronald wasn't allowed to work, why he was such a mess and why he had nothing better to do than sit with him. There wasn't anyone to look after him. There was nothing Ronald could do to take his mind off his grief. There was no one else left. He hugged Ronald closer and tried to calm him again, apologising over and over as if it would make some kind of difference, ignoring his own tears.
"I promised Alan I'd look after you," Ronald whispered. "When we were in the church, he made me promise I'd help you through when he died. So I promised him and intend to keep that promise. And... and he asked me to make sure you knew how much he loved you, and that he knew how much you loved him and that he knew you would have done anything to help him and he..." Ronald shook his head and laughed bitterly. "He was sorry that he'd been so weak that he couldn't hold on for you."
He sighed and shook his head. That was so like Alan, to be sorry for something ridiculous. It was just how he was; making Ronald promise to look after him and telling him he was sorry... Alan was a complete idiot sometimes.
"Ronald," he whispered, gently tilting his head up. "It's ok. I'm going to look after you now, ok?"
"But-"
"No buts," he said firmly. "I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't. I'm not going to let you suffer through this alone. The second I'm able to get out of here I'm taking you home and we're going to get through this together, ok?" He whimpered and nodded. "Good boy, it's going to be ok. We'll get through this."
He was struggling to see how it was going to ok, but he had to stay positive. It crossed his mind that he should tell Ronald about the souls he'd collected trying to save Alan but then Ronald would probably be just as disgusted by it as he knew Alan would have been. He'd walk away and leave him to deal with it on his own. He couldn't do that. He needed to focus on something. Without Alan he had to find a purpose in Ronald. Still, he couldn't lie to him any longer. He had to know no matter what the consequences.
"Ron, I've done something really bad," he said, loosening his arms around him. Ronald didn't move or reply, apparently just waiting for him continue. "I knew it was a long shot but those stories about one thousand souls... I didn't have nearly enough but I didn't know any other way. I couldn't let him go. You were right to be afraid of me, I've become a monster trying to save him, but I would never hurt you. I promise I would never have hurt you." He sighed and closed his eyes. "I know that everything is so messed up right now and you don't need this as well, if you don't trust me anymore that's ok. I know this must be hard but I just... I don't want to keep any secrets from you like I did from him."
Eric fully expected Ronald to get up and leave him there, like he deserved. So he was utterly stunned when Ronald leant up and gave him a quick, reassuring kiss. "I don't care, Eric. I don't care what you did, I know you did it to save Alan. No one else needs to know. Just promise you're not going to leave me on my own."
He nodded quickly, grateful that Ronald didn't care, and held him close. "I'm sorry, Ron. I knew investigating that church was a bad idea. I should have put my foot down."
"It's ok. You're awake now. That's all that really matters anymore."
"No. It's not ok. I mean, you and William, I know I didn't act like I approved and I know I was a little mean about it sometimes, but I didn't mean it. It was so obvious how much you two loved each other. I should have been more supportive, I just... I didn't like the idea of someone else being so important to you. You were always my little Puppy and I didn't want someone taking you away, and I'm sorry."
"It's ok," Ronald whispered. "It's ok, I'm not angry or upset, I know you didn't mean it. I'm just glad you're ok. I'm not alone anymore."
Eric shifted and mumbled in his sleep and William frowned. He walked over and rested his hand on Eric's forehead. He was sleeping fitfully and was still gripped by a fever. He was talking to Ronald. William didn't really like that but knew it wasn't a big issue. Given the way Ronald was acting towards him it was little surprise he was on Eric's mind. After a few moments Eric calmed and William returned to the window, watching the others being taught in the grounds. Ronald was bent over once more and William bit his lip, glad Ronald couldn't see him from up here. He was desperate to get him home and stop playing these stupid games. They had a week off after this to make up for it and William fully intended to lock Ronald up in his apartment and make up for forcing him into the dress in every way he could.
A handsome blonde had suddenly put his hands on Ronald. William clenched his jaw, watching as the man moved his hand over Ronald's waist. Ronald looked as absolutely disgusted as William felt. How dare he just walk in and put his hands on his Ronald.
"The Viscount." He turned and was confronted by a copy of Michelle- a much younger Michelle, looking as she had in their early years at the academy; her hair was in a bob, held from her eyes with a black Alice band and in a pleated skirt with pumps. She smiled. "A flamboyant man with a liking for women and girls." She walked over slowly and glanced down at Eric. "Poor man."
"You're not even trying to fool me," William said, not turning away from the window.
"Why would we need to?" she said. "You're too smart to fall for anything we can show you, right?" She sat with Eric and leant over him slowly. "Oh, poor darling, he's suffering so much. Just let me help him, Will."
"Get your hands off him before I hurt you," he snapped.
"Oh Will," she giggled, getting up and walking over to wrap her arms around him from behind. "I don't take orders from you, remember? Hmm..." She leant on his shoulder, her gaze locking onto Ronald and the blonde trying to seduce him. "Now, how on earth does such a pathetic boy have your love? He's not your type at all."
"What would you know?"
"What would we know?" She laughed and kissed his cheek before reaching up and messing up his hair so it fell over his eyes. "Much better. Now, Will, how about you let us ease your pain? So much darkness in you, you've got such a heavy heart. So many regrets and guilty thoughts..." She hummed softly and adjusted her glasses. "You're like a feast, Will. You have no idea how badly I want you, but you have to want it too."
William shivered remembering the last time he'd heard those words. The presence disappeared and he glanced back at Eric, who seemed to be sleeping better now. He frowned. Michelle had said that to him n the academy. She'd been leaning over him, trying to teach him how to improve his technique with the scythe- and failing really- and had just come out with it. Without thinking, he'd reached up her down so their lips met. It had been the start of a relationship that had kept them going through the academy until Grell had finally pushed him to come out of his shell. That was a long time ago though. He had been shy and quiet back then, and Michelle was his strong and smart- and yes at the time she'd thought she was beautiful- he'd wanted to please his senior in any way he could. Even after their relationship had ended he'd still looked up to her and respected her. It's why he'd not said anything when she'd accidently killed Michael Short. He knew it had been an accident and let her cover it up. It was supposed to be a one off. It was an accident and she didn't deserve to be punished for it. William had never once imagined it would lead to so much more.
"Ron..." Eric groaned.
William frowned and turned to him. "Slingby?"
He groaned and opened his eyes slightly. William frowned and walked over, sitting on the side of the bed and resting his hand on his forehead again. His fever had dropped considerably but not enough for William to even think about letting him up. His eyes seemed blurred and he seemed completely lost.
"William?" he breathed. "What's..." He groaned and closed his eyes slowly. "Ron and Alan..."
"They're alright," William said, although he wasn't sure Eric could hear him. "You were attacked by the black records. There's no permanent damage I can see, you just need rest to recover."
Eric didn't seem to have heard. He seemed to have dropped into unconsciousness again. He frowned and returned to the window to watch Ronald squirm, trying to be polite and ladylike while being hounded by the Viscount. Michelle and Grell seemed thoroughly amused by it all while Alan didn't seem able to focus. He was probably worrying about Eric. The teacher didn't seem to care either. She probably thought it was good that someone was interested in such a boisterous, clumsy young lady.
Ronald was getting sick of Grell and Michelle giggling as they ate dinner. Alan was obviously distracted by Eric's condition but Michelle and Grell were happy to tease him. The food wasn't helping. Suddenly the giggling got worse and he got the sinking feeling. His chin was tilted up and the Viscount smiled.
"The lovely Miss Veronica," he said, kissing his hand. "How beautiful your eyes look in the evening light, my dear. Like the most radian emeralds."
Ronald flushed bright red and glanced over at Grell and Michelle who were still giggling. "Ah, Viscount, I believe I told you earlier that I am already engaged."
"Such a terrible shame, little robin," he said. Ronald did his best to give a smile. He didn't know why he was calling him robin. He wasn't aware of doing anything to deserve the name. "There is a party in a few and I would love to see you in something more flattering than just this terribly plain uniform. How greedy of me to want to see more of you, but you are enchanting, just like a little robin."
Ronald swallowed heavily and glanced at Alan for help but it was Michelle who stepped in. "She's love to go with you, Viscount, but we're not allowed to go to off site on our own."
"Oh, well then it won't be a problem, my robin," he said, pulling Ronald forwards and resting his hand on his waist. "Our party is being held in your former church." Ronald frowned, chances were that was what William was talking about when he mentioned lots of people dying at the end of the week. "I would love to see you there, Miss Veronica. Please, feel free to bring your friends, the more beautiful young ladies the better, even if none of them will compare to you."
He handed Ronald four invitations and Ronald smiled, glancing over at the others. They were being no help here at all. He left him with a smile and Ronald sat down once more, glaring at Michelle and Grell.
"Look on the bright side," Michelle laughed. "That's probably the big event we're reaping anyway."
"Why do the crazy people always pick on me?" he muttered.
"Because you're so beautiful, Veronica," Grell giggled. "And I'm sure if William sees you all dressed up he'll have to have a cold shower to stop himself undressing you again. Don't you think, Alana?"
"Hmm? Oh, yeah, of course," Alan said quietly.
"You're worrying about Eric, aren't you?" Ronald said quietly. Alan nodded. "He'll be ok, I'm sure. We should head up to see them."
Alan nodded slowly and they finished quickly before heading upstairs. Ronald was grabbed by William almost instantly. He almost squeaked in surprise but quickly remembered his cover and managed to keep quiet.
"How's Eric?" Alan said quietly.
"Recovering," William said. "I don't think there'll be any long term damage. He keeps repeating your name, Ronald. I think your recent behaviour towards him has got him rather worked up."
Ronald sighed and knelt at his side, gently brushing his hair from his eyes. He was shaking and sweating still. "It's ok, Eric, I'm here."
"We're both here," Alan said, sitting the other side of him. Their presence seemed to calm Eric a little. "He's going to be ok, right William?"
"Of course he is," Ronald snapped. "I'm sorry, Eric. I promise I won't let this church get to me again if you just wake up. I won't doubt you again."
"Ron... Alan..." Eric murmured feverishly.
"Yeah, we're here, love," Alan said gently. "We're here."
"Was there any trouble today?" Michelle said, sitting on Ronald's bed. "Anything of interest happen?"
"I was reminded how cute you used to be," William replied. Ronald looked up instantly, narrowing his gaze at Michelle with a slight growl. "Miss Knox, that's incredibly unladylike."
"Yeah, well that Viscount whatever invited me out to a party with him at the end of the week," Ronald said, folding his arms. "He had his hands all over me. He thought I was beautiful. Are you jealous yet?"
"You're incredibly childish."
"I said yes."
"Good. We're going to be reaping that so you'll be there."
"You really don't give a damn about me, do you?" he grumbled.
"You know, when I still thought Madame Red was worth my time, I went to some of his parties," Grell said. "The Phantomhive boy was wearing a nice little dress for his auntie. The point is that nasty Viscount was drugging young ladies and selling them off in underground auctions and is very much into the occult."
"You shouldn't go," William said quietly.
Ronald grinned up at him. "There we go, boss. Now you're acting all possessive and jealous, just the way I like it."
"Just because you're completely irrational doesn't mean everyone else should be," he said, folding his arms. "And I am merely thinking of keeping you safe."
"I believe you, Will," Michelle giggled. "Millions wouldn't, but I do."
William glared over and Ronald wrapped his arms around him. "I don't, boss. I think you're being jealous and protective. I think you've finally found some emotions in that icy heart of yours."
"What are we doing about the records then?" Grell said. "After what they did to Eric... how are we going to beat them? We don't seem able to cut them and they're ganging up on us. It's not fair, Will."
"I've sent a message to head office," William said. "They might have something on record, an anomaly or something kept classified. If not, we'll have to figure something else out."
"Like what?" Michelle snapped.
"I don't know," he said quietly. "I have no idea, and I'm sorry that I have nothing else to offer on the matter."
"It's alright," Alan said, sitting back on the bed and gently lifting Eric's head to rest on his lap. "We know you don't have all the answers, even if we treat you like you do sometimes."
Ronald nodded and leant up, gently pressing their lips together. "There's nothing wrong with not knowing sometimes."
William nodded and gently wrapped his arms around him, resting his chin on his head. Ronald nuzzled up against him reassuringly and slid his arms around him. He knew William was worried he'd fail them but Ronald believed in him one hundred percent. William had never let him down before- even though he knew William felt like he had after the demon attack, though he'd never said it- and he didn't think for a moment that William would let him down now. He glanced down at Eric and Alan again. Eric had to wake up. He knew in his heart Eric would wake up again soon whether those records were influencing him or not.
"I wonder what he's dreaming about," he said quietly.
Eric opened his eyes to near darkness. He frowned, trying to remember what had happened. He was in his room, in his bed. Only, the small reaper in his arms wasn't Alan. He sighed and gently moved Ronald so he wouldn't disturb him.
He'd done just as he'd promised Ronald; he'd been cleared to leave, took Ronald home and looked after him. He'd been a mess; he obviously hadn't been eating as well as he should have, he was thin and pale, his eyes slightly sunken and red and his hair a complete mess- and not just because he'd decided it was a style. Of course, Eric wasn't all that better off himself. He'd insisted on making dinner and gave him a glass of brandy to calm him and help him sleep. The whole time Ronald had been telling him to look after himself instead but Eric could do both. He had nothing else to do now. He could only look after Ronald now. There was no work for either of them until they were completely cleared and that wouldn't be for a long while and Ronald was right, all their friends were awkward and unsure what to say. Reapers weren't great at understanding death, they didn't usually experience it themselves.
Sitting up slowly, he drew his knees to his chest and glanced down at Ronald. He was sleeping peacefully, tear tracks still staining his cheeks. He'd suffered three months on his own, just proving again that he was so much stronger than everyone thought he was. Just like Alan. Both were such childish, weak looking things, but they both managed to prove themselves again and again. He smiled weakly and ran his hand through Ronald's hair. If t had been Ronald suffering from the Thorns, he would have worked just as hard to save him. And he probably would have failed him as well.
A few tears slipped down his cheek and he brushed them away as quickly as he could, trying to stop his hands shaking at the same time. He couldn't help it though. A chocked out sob wracked his body. Ronald opened his eyes and rolled over. Eric cursed mentally and as Ronald's gaze locked onto him.
"Eric," he whispered, kneeling up and wrapping his arms around him. "Eric, are you ok?"
"No," Eric groaned, hugging him close to his chest. "No, I don't think I am."
"I'll take you out to their graves tomorrow," Ronald said quietly. "Is that going to be ok? I mean, we can wait longer if you'd like, we don't have to, I just thought-"
"It'll be ok," he said, brushing away a few more tears. "I should go and see him."
The next thing he knew he was following Ronald up the path to the graveyard on the hill behind the library. There weren't many reaper deaths so the graveyard wasn't that big. Ronald was holding his hand tightly, leading him along. Every single grave was looked after. There were so few of them compared to the number of reapers that every grave had someone to look after it.
Ronald led him to four graves at the far end. Eric knelt slowly at Alan's grave, running his hands over the marble headstone. There was churned up earth around the base. He frowned and glanced up at Ronald who smiled weakly.
"Erica flowers," Ronald said. "He liked them, so I thought..."
"You did this?" Eric said. "You sorted it all?"
"Well, I didn't exactly have much else to do," he whispered and Eric noticed his hand running slowly and lovingly over the headstone next to him. Ronald didn't even seem to know he was doing it. Of course, Eric knew without looking who the grave belonged to. "I mean, it was the least I could do, right?"
"Ah, Ron, you didn't have to," he said, sitting back slowly to look over the inscription and the small image of Alan's scythe at the bottom of the stone. "You didn't have to do any of this. I mean, you were suffering too, you didn't have to worry about all of this."
"I had to do something, didn't I? I had to make sure they wouldn't be forgotten about and you were... Someone had to. Most people are looked after by their division and their supervisor usually sorts out these things, but you know, our division is..." He gestured to the four graves. "And she's not even our division. I got them involved, you know, her division. They were awkward about it, but respectful."
He grabbed Ronald's hand and pulled him down into his arms. He didn't know what else to do. Within moments Ronald had wrapped his arms around him too, tangling his fingers into his hair and crying into his chest. Eric glanced up at the grave Ronald had been running his fingers over. He knew what it was going to say. William T. Spears. He smiled sadly and stroked Ronald's hair. If he had another chance, he'd make sure he was afraid and he knew he didn't totally disapprove of him being with William.
"Eric? Please. Can you hear me?"
"Ron?" he whispered, lifting his head.
"Yes?" Ronald said, frowning slightly. "What's wrong?"
"I thought you..."
"What made you scared of him, Ronald?"
"Alan?" Eric frowned. "I'm hearing things, Ron. I can hear him."
"I know, I was the same but it'll fade," Ronald said, cupping his cheek. "It fades, I promise, it won't hurt so bad forever. The pain eases, you know."
He nodded slowly, trying to block out the voices, trying to block out everything but Ronald sitting in his arms. The only thing that he could hold onto anymore.
"He just loves you so much. He'd do anything for you. He'd kill for you and make everyone suffer just for you. No one would do anything like that for me, you're so lucky. I don't know how far he'd go for you. I don't want to be around when he finally decides you give me too much attention."
"Don't be stupid, Ron," Eric growled. Ronald frowned. "I won't ever hurt you, Ron, I'd never hurt you. Please, tell me you know that."
Ronald stayed silent and Eric sighed. He leant down and covered Ronald's mouth with his own, gently wrapping an arm around his waist. It was wrong, so wrong but he couldn't stop himself. Ronald moaned softly and wrapped his arms around him tighter. They were sitting, making out by the graves of their former lovers. It was so many shades of wrong and disrespectful. Why was he even doing this? Ronald seemed just as confused but just as eager. What were they doing?
"Don't be silly, Ronald. He loves you too much to hurt you. You're like his little brother. And don't let William here you talking like that. He'll get jealous, and much as you think that's fun it's not. Eric won't hurt you. I bet he's dreaming about before, when you weren't afraid of him. It really kills him, you know, that you're scared of him suddenly."
"I know, Eric," Ronald whispered. "I know you won't ever hurt me, but I don't think we should do that again."
