TTWH 28
i
Daryl
I looked up at my brother who'd found a new sleeping-bag from somewhere and was preparing to bed down for the night. We'd just moved – minus the break-off group – further up the mountain and it had taken three hours to walk here.
I wondered where the others were...if they'd reached the bottom yet, if they were OK.
Because before we moved, there had been a group meeting and there had been opposition to moving further up.
'Ya sure we're gonna be high enough?' Shane had asked when everyone had gathered that morning. 'What's to stop'em moving up further the mountain?''
My brother added his voice to his while I stared at seeing a) Merle actually contribute to a group discussion b) agreeing with Shane.
'Yeah. What's to stop'em findin' us when they run out of food down below?' Others took up the cry while Merle stood back and smiled, his work done. I could almost see him wiping his hands.
Rick held up his hands for silence. 'It's jus' a temporary measure. The last herd wasn't even that big – we dealt with 'em. Probably the last of them for a long while.'
'We can't bank on that!' Carol interrupted. 'Wouldn't we be better off finding somewhere else?'
'Where?' Dale answered. 'We proved we can handle them when they come...'
'But what if it's a really big herd – bigger than the last one and we're outnumbered?' She argued.
'This is only temporary.' The leader repeated. 'We can start lookin' for somewhere more secure tomorrow. Send out search parties...'
'I don't know. I got a bad feeling about this.' Carol wasn't to be persuaded. Or reassured. 'I don't want to stay here tonight – if somethin' happens we'll be trapped.'
Others murmured in agreement.
'We stay here until we find somewhere better. Only for another couple of nights at the most. Tomorrow, there'll be a run to find somewhere.' Rick said.
'No!' She was resolute. She, like I guess a lot of us, was not the same person she used to be. Not scared of her shadow anymore and that of her brutish husband who was dead.
'Mommy?' Sophia looked up at her and took her hand.
'We stay here.' Rick was just as fixed on his decision.
'No.' Carol turned and appealed to the group. 'Who's comin' with me to start a new life somewhere down the mountain?'
'Carol, don't do this...' I spoke for the first time. 'We shouldn't split the group up, it ain't safe!'
She looked at me. 'Then come with me. You and Merle. Anyone else?' She turned around.
'We ain't goin' with ya! There's more safety in numbers!' I tried to convince her. She looked disappointed and I couldn't understand why she was doing what she was. It was more than crazy.
It was fucked up.
I looked at Rick who just stood there and scowled.
Most people looked at the both of them, clearly considering the better option.
'Now, that's enough!' He suddenly bellowed making her jump. 'Don't ya try and sow disharmony in the group!'
Everyone stared at him because he rarely ever even raised his voice. He was furious, I could tell with his arm muscles all bunched up with tension even though he was trying to control his rage.
Since when did I look at his arms? I shook my head mentally.
Carol turned back to him and folded her arms over her chest and ignored him. Appealed to the rest of us instead.
'This is a democracy, isn't it? Otherwise we're no better than those at Woodbury!'
That got him. He didn't want to be accused of being a tyrant. Not that and he took a step back at that and shrugged. 'Fine.' But he wasn't happy by any means. 'Jus' know that if they go with you, ya all likely to be killed.'
'Why? We can fight.' She patted the dagger hanging from its sheath on her belt and was clearly unfazed by his words of warning. 'Ya ain't a good leader no more, Rick, and I'm sorry to say it.'
He shook his head. 'Ya can't do this.'
'Well, come with me, then.'
'No. We're be safer near the top, where it's colder.'
'Who's comin' with me? Anyone?' She ignored him and most of the people who had been complaining about moving up the mountain joined her – Beth but not Maggie, Andrea, Dirk, and a few others whose faces I knew but their names I didn't.
'Beth!' Her sister called to her. Don't go! Daryl's right - ya'll die! We got more chance of surviving if we all stick together.'
'Come with us then!' Her expression was desperate as she unconsciously echoed Carol's words at her sister.
But Maggie shook her head and made to run to her but Glen tried to pull her back.
She pushed him away and started to cry. 'Please, sis.'
Beth turned to look apologetically at Carol who smiled ruefully, then shrugged.
'I'm sorry, but I can't leave her. She's my sister.' With that, she ran back to our group, sided with Rick.
Maggie threw her arms around her and cried in relief while behind me, my brother wrapped his arms around me from behind as if seeing them reminded him of how close he'd come to losing me. Like he wanted to assure himself that I was still there.
Nobody batted an eye-lid, if they even noticed, that was.
'Carol, ya crazy!' I shrugged his arms off me and started after her when she started off with her group down the moutain slope after a few cursory good-byes. 'We can't protect ya if ya go!' Yet I knew she had been unhappy with the way things were in the group and Rick's leadership. She'd voiced her concerns before and it seemed like the latest Walker attack was the last straw.
She turned back to look at me one last time and hugged me.
I couldn't help feeling that it was the last time I would see her.
...
Rick would live to regret his words. Meanwhile, there was no sign of Dad and we didn't bother to go looking for him. I never wanted to see him ever again and I knew my brother would shoot him dead on sight after what he'd done to me – he'd told me he would and I believed him. So our old man was keeping out of our way and we even let ourselves believe that he'd found some other place to go to and just crawl away to die.
It didn't stop me waking up screaming from a nightmare that I was there again. With my father joining in ...inside me and that first night near the top of the mountain in our tent I thought heard Dad's voice outside the tent.
Crooning to me again, they had my hands tied and he was pretending that they were forcing him to do it. The Governor thought he was torturing him too but he was giving him his long-life dream...
How had Dad got out of Woodbury? He never told us.
It was too sick to believe...how could I forget? The memories coming thick and fast now. On top of losing the others.
Merle held me tight to him. I snarled and fought him at first, mixing him up with my nightmare until he shook me irritably.
'It's me! Stop it.'
'No! Get off me, sick fuck!'
'Sh... Ya safe.' He was moving his hand through my hair, slowly making me calm down again.
But I wasn't just about Dad and what he did. 'Why did she do it?' I whispered.
'Dunno. But she ain't the only one who ain't happy with Rick.'
'Maybe we should have gone with her...'
'She's made her bed now. She can always come back...she knows where we are.'
'Why didn't Rick back down and we could have gone all together?'
'Ya know why. It's crawling with them down below.'
'And it ain't here?'
'At least the cold should hold them at bay.'
'Yeah, maybe. For how long?'
'Don't worry. She can take care of herself.' He rubbed the top of my arms. 'She's stronger than she looks...And she ain't alone...She's got some of the men with her like Dirk.'
'Yeah.' I rolled my eyes. 'And he's a lot of use. Did ya see how he looked?'
'He didn't look too hot, did he?'
It wast true, I thougth, looking back on it. He had looked flushed and feverish but with the drama of Carol splitting up the group, we'd thought nothing of it.
'Go back to sleep.' He kissed my forehead and urged my head down onto his lap. Stroked my hair until I drifted off.
The whole time I was thinking he'd never been like this with me ...not before Woodbury. Guess he thought I needed the extra love and attention even though I knew there had always been an ulterior motive underneath it all.
And I was right.
….
The next day, Rick didn't send out a scout party like he promised but he didn't look like he slept well.
'What's happened?' I said to him at breakfast. 'Why did ya let her go like that and take those people with her?' I was angry with him for being so weak.
He sighed and sunk his head on his hands. 'I dunno know. I couldn't stop her...Maybe she'll be OK. God, I'm so tired...Jus' tryin' to survive...'
'Well, ya should have tried harder!' I snapped.
He looked down at the table and looked so crestfallen that I regretted my harsh outburst. But it was true, he wasn't himself, hadn't been a long time. And who was to say he wouldn't lose it again? He had before when it got too much.
'I know. The world's fuckin' ended, who knows what to do for the best anymore?' I said, trying to make him feel better.
He looked up at me then and smiled thinly.
'Things ain't like the way they were before!' I pressed my point.
'I know.' He replied quietly.
I took my bowl of porridge and sat next to him. We were the only ones in the kitchen area, everyone had left to go and do their chores.
'I'm...I'm sorry I didn't listen to ya. When ya told me how dangerous how ya Dad was.'
I bowed my head. 'Don't matter. He's gone now.'
'Merle told me...that ya think he was in Woodbury with ya. That true?'
I put my spoon down, suddenly all my appetite was gone and my head sank even lower. Why was he bringing that up now?
'Yeah.' I said quietly, letting everything that answer implied sink in with him.
He put an arm around me and I flinched at the unexpected physical contact. I nearly asked him what the fuck he thought he was doing but bit it back. Then he pulled me to him, just like Merle did.
'I'm sorry. For everythin'...Not helpin' ya more...'
'Don't matter.'
'It does. I...I wasn't a good friend to ya when ya came back.'
I relaxed against him then because it started to feel good. I remember that he'd never touched me before probably because he sensed that I didn't like it but here he was touching me just like my brother did. Well, not quite, I had to remind myself. It was just a hug. No threat. I had to remember that despite whatever had happened.
'It's OK..'
'No, it ain't. I jus'...jus' didn't know what to do...'
Fuck. Why did it seem like everyone touching me so much more lately and not just my brother?
He grunted and released me. 'I'm glad ya with me. That ya didn't go...You and Merle both.'
Ya wouldn't be if ya know what he'd done. I thought to myself.
….
Dirk tossed and turned in his tent. They'd finally settled camp not far from the bottom of the mountain and planned to move on the next day.
He felt himself disappearing – a red veil had descended across his vision and he heard the voices calling to him in his feverish dreams as he tossed and turned in his tent. Growling voices speaking without words but nevertheless he understoo that they were calling him to them. Telling him that he was safe now because he was one of them.
Nobody had noticed that he had been bitten – he had covered it up and just prayed it would go away. But the sickness was spreading with him, he could feel it...A band of not unpleasant heat radiating from his arm where the wound was.
He knew he should leave or kill himself first before he became a threat to the others but his will-power was fading. Along with the growing fever.
He'd left it too late to do the decent thing. Nobody would care, he had no family left.
And no-one came to check on him, nobody knew.
That night he stumbled out of the tent after his body died, he went straight to Carol. Instinctively following the smell of fresh meat.
She didn't know what hit her and taken by surprise while she was sleeping, she didn't stand a chance.
Some vestige of humanity had made him pause before he lunged, going for her throat and then her intestines.
She died mercifully quickly.
By dawn she was up again and Andrea managed to shoot her in the head before she lunged at her. But Dirk was already attacking another tent.
...
Hiding in the woods near the second camp, someone was watching, calculating his next move before his mouth grimaced in pain.
He could use this, he knew.
He wanted his boys back, both of them. Besides, he didn't have much time left but he was formulating his plan as he swallowed another two morphine pills, followed by a swig or two from his canteen.
…
The attack came switfly. After they'd killed or turned the others, Will had grabbed Dirk and Carol, tied their hands behind them and led them by halters he'd made out of ropes. He'd learnt that having your own Walker 'pets' kept the others at bay. Andrea snarled but backed off at the sight of them.
Will Dixon was getting weaker but he'd managed to make them into weapons...Rick' s people would be shocked when they saw that it was their friends who had come back to attack them and it would make them weak. He planned to use that against them.
Use it to get revenge, he'd overheard his sons – his sons – betraying him, telling the leader to kick him out. Painting him the monster... He also had his shotgun with enough bullets...
'I'll show you...' He thought to himself as he checked his ammunition after he'd tied his two Walkers to a tree. 'Think ya can mess with ol' Pa Dixon? I maybe dyin' but I ain't dead yet. Think ya can take my boys away from me? I'll show ya. Show ya'll. A gift of tears is what I got in store for ya...all of ya...'
With that, he fell asleep, despite the snarling of his companions.
