A/N: They are making me work to find Olicity in these episodes. Oi! But I hope you enjoy this expanded Oliver POV from (2.17).
Another Pep Talk
I'd left Digg and the car outside the police station to talk to Helena, but when I come out, it's Felicity waiting for me. She leans against the front passenger door like Digg does, only instead of looking ready to kill anyone and anything that moves, Felicity smiles and nods to everyone and idly twirls the key ring on her finger. When she sees me, she stands up straight and formally holds open the back door.
"Mr. Queen." Her voice is serious, but there's a hint of a smile in her eyes. I open my mouth, but before I can speak, all the teasing has left her expression. "Don't worry, Oliver. Everyone's fine and accounted for. Digg and I just thought he should go and workout with Roy for a little while, and we weren't sure how long you would be."
I step close to her and lean into her ear so we're not overheard by any of the people wandering around, even at this time of night, because outside the police station is never all that quiet.
"Felicity, you shouldn't be out here alone. Not with Slade."
She rolls her eyes and gestures towards the building. "As I keep saying, if he's going to kill me, he will. I don't think standing outside the police station makes me any more or less vulnerable."
"There is a really strong, really fast, somehow wealthy and charming, practically invincible and righteously pissed off one-eyed Australian after us, and you're standing here defenseless..."
"It makes total sense that he's from Australia," Felicity interrupts with a nod. "I think just about everything there can kill you. I saw a picture not long ago of a python swallowing a crocodile. Wrap your mind around that for a second. And box jellies. And those tiny little pinkie-nail sized jellyfish that are like the most dangerous things on the planet. They're so small you can't see them, and they'll kill you in seconds. And the poisonous centipedes? Yuck! Everyone thinks it's all hottie pirates and ginormous beers and g'day mate and koala bears, but..."
"Get in the car," I interrupt at last, grabbing the keys. But she quickly fists them, and all I feel is the soft skin of her hand. "Felicity. Please give me the keys."
"No." She smiles and shakes her head. "I'm driving."
"I don't have time for this." I sigh and squeeze the bridge of my nose.
"Then get in the car already. Gosh. You're the one standing here talking when we're apparently in so much danger."
I reach around her for the front door, and she stiffens when I brush against her.
"I'm not riding in the back." It's fine to ride in the back when Digg drives, but I'm not having Felicity chauffeur me around like that.
"Fine," she says.
"Fine. But if you're going to drive, you should sit behind the wheel."
"You're in my way," she says.
"You're the one leaning against my door."
She moves to the left, only I move right at the same time. And then, like a scene in a movie, we both compensate by moving in the opposite direction, which once again leaves us brushing against the other. She closes her eyes and shakes her head.
"Is this what Digg goes through every time you need a ride?"
"You're not Digg." She's Felicity. The rules are different when it comes to her.
"Okay, on the count of three, you're going to take a step back, and I'm going to move around to the driver's door. Ready? One. Two. Three."
It's not until we're finally settled into the car with seat belts fastened and Felicity easing into traffic that I think to ask about Roy.
"Don't be mad," she begins, looking over at me.
"Eyes on the road!"
"Sorry! Yes. Of course. I don't drive much anymore and this car is wicked fast. Just a tap on the accelerator and this baby wants to fly."
"Felicity," I say. "Roy?"
"Well, he asked me for advice about Thea."
"Tell me you did not undermine my authority with him."
"No." There's an edge to her voice, and she takes a deep breath.
"I'm sorry," I say. "I just. I'm not really comfortable being a role model. And Helena being here just shows what a horrible job I did with it the first time. I really can't screw up like that with him."
"Or, you know, screw him. That's probably where your training of Helena first went awry. Plus her being crazy and all couldn't have helped. But yeah, she was pretty much an epic failure on all fronts, wasn't she."
I let her words sit between us, heavy and uncomfortable, until she glances over at me at a light.
"Felicity," I say.
"What? You have a tragic love life. There's Laurel, who rather than breaking up with, you slept with her sister. Then she slept with you even though she was supposed to be with Tommy, and then he died. And now she's an alcoholic who'll be lucky if she keeps her license. There's Helena, who is a few cards short of a full deck and still in love with her dead finance. There's Sarah, who I adore, I want to add, but has some complicated issues, the least of which being the fact that you're her rebound and as wonderful a specimen of masculinity as you are, you simply cannot compare to Nyssa."
Thankfully, she doesn't remind me that I slept with Isabel Rochev. Or that Slade is targeting me because he loved Shado when she was with me.
"I don't know that I would hold you responsible for Helena though," she says as the light turns green. She's not looking at me, which gives me the luxury of watching her without facing the intensity of her eyes.
"You wouldn't?" I quietly ask.
Felicity shakes her head. "You gave her tools, I'll grant you that. You showed her how to be a better killer. But I don't think you meant for that to happen. I think you were just lonely, and she was lonely, and you really weren't in a good place to mentor because you didn't even know who you were yourself back then. So whatever wisdom you tried to impart was probably pretty unconvincing because you really didn't believe it either. You telling her not to kill her dad probably sounded arbitrary when you were dropping people like flies."
Felicity has a way casually speaking about my past deeds. She does it without judgment. But her matter of fact summations leave no room for me to hide.
"So how exactly does that make me not responsible?"
"Free will, Oliver." I scoff and she grips the steering wheel. "It's true. I really like Sarah, but she's wrong about this one. You didn't make Slade. Yes, okay, you shot him up with the Mirakuru, and you didn't know he loved Shado, and then she died because someone was going to. And you didn't make Sarah. And you didn't make Helena. Perhaps, along their perspective journeys, you were there and you helped or hindered. But they made their own choices, just like you've made yours."
"Slade made me," I say. "I was a spoiled, arrogant prick, and he's the one who saved me and trained me and taught me how to be more."
"Yes," she gently agrees. "But you're the one who did it. I've seen you work out. Lots. It's not easy. You are still working hard every single day. He led you to the water, but you're the one who realized you were thirsty, stuck your head in it and drank."
"Did you just compare me to a horse?"
"Get over yourself. I thought you wanted to hear about Thea and Roy."
"Yes. Jesus. You're distracting me."
"So Roy came to me," she begins. "Apparently, he tried to neatly end things with Thea. He's really torn up about it because he really loves her, but he's following your lead, Oliver."
"I don't know if he should," I quiet admit.
"That is not very leaderly of you. Own it!" I nosily sigh and swift my weight in my seat. "Do you think you made the right call?" she asks. "Is Roy a danger to Thea? Does that danger outweigh the risks of her not having a really strong, devoted bodyguard in her bed at night?"
"Felicity!" I say. "She's my sister."
"Earth to Oliver: they have sex. Lots. Watch the monitors sometime. They have sex all over the bar. She's really quite flexible and apparently enjoys going down..."
"Enough!"
"All I'm saying," she calmly continues, as if I hadn't just yelled. "Is that you know Slade is targeting you. You think he'll go after the people you care about. Thea would be at the top of that list. Is she better or worse off having Roy with her?"
"He needs to learn how to control himself," I say with a sigh. "Until he does, he's the biggest danger to any of us."
"Then you made the right call. And he listened to you. And as much as it's killing him, he did what you asked. He tried to neatly break it off. However, Thea wouldn't let him. So he asked me how to get her to see that she needed to leave him alone. And now, apparently, he's quite certain that she will. At least for the time being. So, you know, mission accomplished."
"What did he do?" She doesn't answer right away. "Felicity?"
"Thea's smart," she says. "She's strong and stubborn and used to having her way. She's not one to pine or be a doormat. Not even for someone she loves. So I told him she'd see right through it, but it'd show her that he was serious." She sighs and stares intently at the road even though there isn't a lot of traffic. "I told him he had to be with someone else. And he had to make certain she saw him doing it. Because watching him with another person, even knowing that he doesn't care about that other girl, will break her heart."
The silence is suddenly thick again, and I wonder if Felicity is just talking about Roy. If only I could see her, maybe I'd know. But she continues to stare at the road, not giving me so much as a glance.
At the next light she finally turns to face me. "You need to talk to her, Oliver. I know you have a lot on your plate, but Thea needs you tonight."
"Everyone always needs me," I say, even though I sound like that same spoiled prick Slade first met. "At least they think they do. But I don't have any wisdom for her anymore than I have it for Helena or I have it for Sarah. Not about life or relationships or anything that matters. I can't even tell her I'm not her real brother. She needs Tommy, not me."
"Oliver," she gently says. "You're going to eventually tell her the truth. You have to. Okay, so it won't be today. But you will. And she'll still love you. You're as much her biological brother as Tommy. And she looks up to you. You're her big brother who came back from the dead, for goodness sake! Religions have been founded on less than that. And you have done amazing things. And most importantly, you're a good person who's constantly trying to be even better."
"Bertinelli's dead. And I kept saying no one would die." I said it over and over, as much convince myself as anyone else. "I swore no one would die."
"Lots of people died tonight, Oliver. Someone, somewhere is dying this very moment. As I keep saying, it's not all about you."
"That's not what I meant, and you know it," I snap.
"Free will," she calmly repeats. "Mr. Bertinelli made his choices, and the fact that he was shot to death in an alley isn't a surprise to anyone, not even him. Helena didn't kill him. Sarah didn't kill Helena. Laurel didn't get herself killed because she was, once again, on the wrong side of the fine line between brave and stupid. I think you should declare this one a victory."
"Laurel was doing the right thing."
"So were you."
"She said I was right," I quietly say as Felicity pulls into the back parking lot of Verdant. She turns off the car but leaves the keys in the ignition. I close my eyes and let my head lean against the headrest and towards her. "Helena," I clarify. "Just now. She said I was right, that her father being dead didn't change anything."
I wasn't expecting tears. But she's devoted her life for this moment. The moment to kill the man who took away her love. And now he's gone, and she wasn't the one to do it, and she doesn't have a purpose anymore to guide her, and even though her father is dead, her fiance still is too.
If Slade is successful and kills me, it won't bring back Shado. My death won't bring him any kind of peace, and that makes me as sad as anything else tonight.
"You killing Slade is different," she quietly says, as if she's reading my mind.
"No it's not."
She shifts so she's facing me. "Oliver, look at me."
I smile at her, my fearless Felicity who always gives me the best pep talks. I take her hand in mine and squeeze it because I want her to know how much I wish we could just stay here until I feel like I could face the rest of them. Sarah, who's looking to me to help her come back from the person she had to become. Roy, who needs to learn how to tame his power. Thea, who needs her Oli to kiss her forehead and tell her everything's alright, not realizing all the lies I've said and will keep saying to keep her safe. I just want to sit here with Felicity in the quiet darkness for a little while. I know I can't, but she found a way to give me this peace for a few minutes.
"It's different," she finally says. "You don't want to kill him. You'll mourn him when he's gone. You aren't killing him for revenge, Oliver. You're killing him to save people."
"It's still killing."
"It is," she agrees. "And I don't envy you that burden, to take another man's life, especially when it's someone you obviously care so much about."
"But I have to. I have to kill him."
"You do," she says. "Because until you do, Thea isn't safe."
"Or Sarah. Or Roy. Or Digg. Or you."
"Or you, Oliver."
"Oh, I'm perfectly safe for now. I'm sure he'll save me for last."
"That'll be his mistake, then."
