My Prerogative: Brittany's Greatest Hits
By: Brittany, Santana, and Quinn
Countdown to 2011


Ohhhhhh snap! Today's New Year's Eve so I figured I would take some time to reflect on the past year and all the things I loved about it! Santana's here too, but she's cranky from being cranky all the time. She even got mad when I tried to pick out all her little eye boogers. I mean I was just doing her a favor. Quinn should also be here any minute! We're going to a glee club party!

Brit-Brit. Please tell me your resolution for 2011 is to quit blogging forever.

Nope! It's to blog more often! Also, I would like to know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop because every time I try, I always lose count!

Santana's goal is to form her own street gang called the Lima Heights Whores.

Quinn! I'm so happy you're here!

I'm not.

Oh Santana, go do the hands-in-your-pants dance and maybe you'll be a lot nicer!

Uh… Yeah. You go do that. Or something.

Shut up Quinn. You think you're so perfect with your manicured nails and the fact that you have everything embroidered with your initials. You know what I think QF stands for? Queer Fuck.

Tana! Less trying to be so funny and more trying to be Miss Honey!

Miss Honey?

As in Matilda. Duh. Don't be such a vagina, Q.

You two just need to go outside and work out your problems. I can't deal with the violence. Yes I saw you pinch her, Santana! Then when you're done, you can both apologize to me. Mostly you, Tana. And also, I would like a pudding cup. Now since this is my end of the year blog, I would just like to express some things I have been thinking about for a while now:

-Rachel, if you're against cruelty to animals, why do you wear turtlenecks? Also, what if your first name was Dingle since your last name is Berry?

-Kurt, what is the purpose of a white crayon? Plus you're always talking about fashions in Milan. I didn't think you'd really care about Disney Princesses! Is she technically considered a princess? Although Santana once told me that you're a fairy, so I guess that kinda makes sense that you might care about what she's wearing. You and Mushu.

-Jesse, do you miss your dad? I'd miss Mr. Schue.

-Finn, you know how we kind of mooch off each other while taking tests sometimes? Does that mean we're moochually beneficial? On another note, if the Goo Goo Dolls and Lady GaGa formed a band together would they call it Goo Goo GaGa?

-Sam, in Ice Age, there's a caveman baby or something. In Ice Age 3, there are dinosaurs. Explain how that's possible! Also, in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, both Creevey brothers are present at the very first meeting of Dumbledore's Army, which is held in Hogsmeade. However, you have to be at least a third year to visit Hogsmeade, but Dennis, the younger of the two Creevey brothers would only be a second year. How did he get to the meeting?

-Artie, I tried to text you from my shower, but then my phone shut off and I don't know why.

-Becky, did you let Coach watch Mean Girls? Because she keeps telling me I'm in her army of skanks.

That went really well, so I am gonna talk about some other stuff because Quinn and Santana aren't back yet. I have heard several loud crashes though, which can only mean one thing. Epic hugs. So here are some different things about this year in no particular order.

Things I love:

- Santana
- Charity, formerly known as Curiosity! And our other cat, Lord Tubbington whose New Year's resolution is to lose some weight, even if he doesn't know it yet!
- Glee Club
- My friends
- Cheese

People who scare me:

-Sandra from Oakhurst Realty
-Shaun White, who I thought was Carrot Top for the longest time

Things I Miss:

- LeBron
- Snack time

Things I did that I thought were funny:

- Rock, paper, scissoring
- Gay Pigeon Sensor
- Giving advice
- Teasing Santana
- Going streaking
- Spelling out ACDC a few times on my SATs while still kicking butt on it
- Pranking people
- Blogging under the influence… I would call it BUI, but that already stands for boating under the influence
- Calling Breadstix Breast Stix
- Putting my makeup on without a mirror
-
((*)) ~~~(==8
- Operation Pink Taco
- Adding sex to a bunch of different words like Sextionals and Sexcalibur

That's a pretty nice list, Brittany.

Jealous much, Juno?

Oh, will you look at the time, it's getting late. We should probably leave.

Hey Quinn, you're driving to the party tonight, right?

Me and Brittz are sitting in the back.

Do I look like a chauffeur to you?

Maybe a slutty low end one. Why? You looking for employment?

Oh Quinn, I didn't know you needed a job! I have the perfect one for you. How do you feel about earwax? Because I always have the hardest time getting it all out and I would gladly pay you whatever spare change I can find in the couch cushions.

And if anybody out there has any questions they wanna ask me, feel free!


(44 Comments – Post a New Comment)

LadyDemonTina wrote: I changed my name. People kept getting confused!
- Brittany$parkles wrote: That's understandable, Cho.
- LadyDemonTina wrote: You can call me Cho if I can call you Luna.
- Brittany$parkles wrote: But I'm Mike Chang

InfinityGoldStars wrote: Brittany, turtlenecks don't have anything to do with actual turtles. Not even if I had a picture of a turtle on a turtleneck.

PorMyselfACrantini wrote: I'm drank! Gots a little present for ya on my booze cruise, Brittzzzz. It rhymes with schmalcohol. Need another hint? I'm guessing your little border hopper friend won't be too happy to know it's… Alcohol! Haha, speaking of which, I think I saw about a million of her cousins when we docked in Cozumel for a few days.
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: I'm not even Mexican, you washed up golddigger! And I was born in the United States of America! Leave. Brittany. Alone.
- PorMyselfACrantini wrote: Whoa, easy, killer. More like the United States of Denial! And to think, all those natives were so friendly. You could learn a lesson from your primos, Senorita Perez.
- Brittany$parkles wrote: I've had enough of your fighting! April, I know your heart's set on Broadway with your all-white cast of the Wiz, but don't you think your mixed race twins miss their mommy? For all they know, you could be a hooker! The holidays aren't over yet… Spend some time with them. I think I'll be alright without one Thirsty Thursday. And you, Santana! I'm not really sure why April accusing you of being a cricket offends you so much, but if I had to ability to jump across Borders, I would! It's a big bookstore. And personally, I think being a gold digger is a good thing. We could be like the 69ers and scoop up gold in the mines and stuff. You're hilarious, I know, but what if you used all that pent up energy for nice jokes, not mean ones?
- PorMyselfACrantini wrote: Well, when you put it like that, I guess you're right. You always know the right things to say to make me feel better. Well, so does Patches. You'd never believe the dirty things he tells me! Anyway, thanks again. I'm sorry, best friend.
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: Yeah, I suppose it is a little ridiculous to fight with Drinksy McVodkaBreath. I mean, with all the STIs she's surely contracted, combined with her alcohol consumption, her life expectancy must not be too much longer. So in all good conscience, I couldn't do that to a potentially dying woman. And FYI, the title of Best Friend belongs to me. So you can go wax your mustache now, April.
- Brittany$parkles wrote: Why do I even bother?

ItsHummelNotHummus wrote: Mulan, Mulan. Something tells me you're going to make me sing I'll Make a Man Out of You next time we hang.

LysdexicSam wrote: While Dennis Creevey may have used a secret passage way, he did not have access to the Marauder's Map, so most likely he used the tunnel that leads into the basement of Zonko's. Or perhaps Joanne Kathleen just didn't think about it at the time. As for the other question, you totally rooted me!
- QueenQuinn wrote: Sam, I think you mean stumped.

MChanganator3000 wrote: Brittany, I have a question for you. What's something you wanted for Christmas, but didn't get?
- Brittany$parkles wrote: Pajama Jeans!
- AintTooProudToBegForTots wrote: I think I speak for everybody when I say thank goodness you didn't get any. That is not one trend I want to see around McKinley.
- ItsHummelNotHummus wrote: I'd come back to WMHS just to burn them all.

JizzyJacob wrote: I have a question, Brittany. Any chance you'll be streaking by my house anytime soon?
- SuspenderMan wrote: Get a life, Jacob.

SuspenderMan wrote: Santana, I have a proposition for you
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: Carry on…
- Finntastic5 wrote: My wayward son!
- LysdexicSam wrote: For there'll be peace when you are done
- LaurenSmackdownZizes wrote: Lay your weary head to rest!
- PuckerUp wrote: NOW DON'T YOU CRY NO MORE
- Brittany$parkles wrote: I love Alabama!
- SuspenderMan wrote: Brittany, you do know that song is by Kansas, right?
- Brittany$parkles wrote: Alabama, Arkansas
- QueenQuinn wrote: I do love my ma and pa!
- LysdexicSam wrote: But not the way I do love you
- SuspenderMan wrote: Which brings me to my next point. Kansas and Arkansas are two separate states. You know what, Santana? I'll just private message you.
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: Ugh. I hate when people randomly burst into song. Whether or not I read your message is yet to be determined, but feel free to send it anyway, Fartie.

BossyBitchyBangin wrote: Finn, the Columbus Zoo called. They're missing their prize ape and really want you back in your cage.
- ItsHummelNotHummus wrote: As opposed to you, the blue-footed booby?
- BossyBitchyBangin wrote: Watch it, red-headed woodpecker.

PuckerUp wrote: BRITTANY, LIMA THEATRE GUILD CALLED. THEY'RE CASTING FOR THE ROLE OF CABBAGE #3 AND THEY WANT TO KNOW IF YOU'RE INTERESTED.
- InfinityGoldStars wrote: Any chance they're also looking for a Rapunzel?

InfinityGoldStars wrote: Brittany, just for your information, Jesse's at UCLA.
- Brittany$parkles wrote: Thanks but that isn't what I asked. Father/son relationships are complex. Me and my dad don't have one.

SuspenderMan wrote: Brittany, I had a really fun time last night at the party with you. I'm a little bummed we didn't get to kiss at midnight, but I know you really had to poop so that's totally fine. I'm just looking forward to the next year with you.
- Brittany$parkles wrote: Yeah, I didn't realize I had been holding it all night. And it was a good thing Santana was there to bring me another roll of toilet paper. She's always willing to lend a helping hand.

BossyBitchyBangin wrote: Wanky ^