Just for clearing up purposes Thomas and Elizabeth broke up before Emily told Elizabeth about what happened to her. Emily never pressed charges, and didn't want to deal with it. That's why the bastard isn't in jail. I have major feels toward this guy and I created him. A lot of flashbacks so M most definitely. Rape, sexual abuse, and self-harm in this chapter. It's not a happy one.
"I don't want to talk about him." I say quickly, cutting to the chase. He puts a hand up.
"We have too. Emily...Matthew told Erin something I think you should know." I look at him, and sit down.
"Is he dead?" I ask coldly. David shakes his head no. I stand to leave. "I don't wanna hear it unless he is burned alive." I say starting to walk away.
"He's running for Senator in Virginia. He'll be in this area." David says. My heart stops. I can't breath. Where did the air in the room go? "It's taking every ounce of will power I have to not go and assassinate the bastard." he says. I sit down because suddenly I feel light headed.
"He...he...he can't. Not after what he..he..." I stutter.
"I don't know how we missed it. He...because you never pressed charges he can do...whatever he wants." David says. I feel pain hit my heart. What if he comes after me? What if he finds me? What if he finds Derek? Matty? JJ? Oh god, Spencer.
"B-but wh-what if he...I...can't..." I start to breath really fast, I didn't even know I was breathing though. "Spe-pencer...De-Derek...JJ he co-cou-could hurt them." I start to cry, and my breathing speeds up even more. I can't seems to get air to fill my lungs. David comes over next to me as I let out a sob.
"He won't hurt them. I...I have a plan. Trust me. It'll all be okay Bella. We'll be safe. He won't be aloud to visit you. If he does we call the cops. I know you're scared. I am too. He won't ever hurt you again. Never." David says. I collapse in David's arms. I don't even know how to breath. How to think. I need Derek. That's what I need.
"Da-daddy...ca-can you g-get De-erek. Please daddy." I say continuing to sob. I'm so scared. How can I live my life knowing that he is near me? Near my home? My family? David stands, and leaves me for a minute. Soon I have arms wrapped tight around me. I know it's Derek. I can smell him.
"What's going on? Why is Emily like this?" I hear Derek ask. I cling onto him, and just cry.
"I'll tell you later Derek. You're going to get angry and we need to calm Emily down right now." David says. I wanna go away. I wanna go so far away. I wanna forget everything. An hour or so later I relax in Derek's arms. I don't want to move though. Derek lifts me up, and carries me to my room. He puts on Stevie but I can't hear her. I keep thinking about how badly I don't wanna be here. Derek sits on my bed, and I look around the room. Who would've thought one visit from Matty, and I would lose my fucking mind. Derek goes to leave but I keep a vice grip on his arm.
"I'll be back I promise. I just have to talk to David for a minute. I can get JJ if you want me too." he says. I nod. He's gone. I want to hurt myself. I want to take the drugs. I need my escape. My finger nails are in mouth. I keep looking around. I can't be here. I want to go away!
"Emily! You little bitch! You told didn't you! I'm gonna make you pay for it!" he tore at me, and ripped my clothes away. He put his hands on my chest and pressed down till I couldn't breathe. I gasp for breath as he spread my legs. I closed my eyes as I cry.
"No...no...no...please stop it." I cry. No one else is here though. When he thrust into me I let out a half scream because of the pain. He covers my mouth before it gets to be anything louder. He moves roughly and I stare at him with horror in my eyes.
"Now...you're gonna be a good little girl and tell me how you like it." he says. I shake my head no as he uncovers my mouth. I will not say that! I will never say that! He slaps my face. It hurts so bad. "Tell me!" he says wrapping his hands around my throat. I don't want to do this.
"NO!" I try to yell out to him. Mother isn't here. Mother is at work. Emergency case. She can't save me. "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" I spit at him. My breath supply is winding down. I can't breathe! He's going to kill me. He's tearing me apart inside. It hurts. "St-op...p-l..ple-as-e. St-op." I can't breathe. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. Some one save me.
"Save me." I whisper. JJ wraps her arms around me, and holds me tight. I'm done crying. I just can't stop feeling him inside. Tearing me apart. Pinning me down. Killing me with every thrust.
"I've got you Emily." JJ whispers. I want to throw up. I want my blade. I want my drugs.
The door slams shut and Thomas has promised me he won't touch my friends as long as I'm good for him. I can feel the evidence of what we've done everywhere. Inside of me. On my thighs. My body. My sheets. I feel so wrong. So dirty. Why do I keep letting him rape me? I stand on shaky legs, and notice the pain throbbing in me. I stumble naked to the bathroom in my room. I look at myself in the mirror and I hate what I see. A victim. I start the shower and make it too hot on purpose. Cold water doesn't wash the germs away as well. I scrub my skin till I'm raw. My thighs are so red I think they may bleed. I'm already bleeding from there. That place. That dirty place that people aren't supposed to touch. I'm bleeding a lot this time, and it hurts worse than it ever has. I put my hand there to try to get it too stop. I need a hospital tonight. I get clothes on, and I call a cab company. When I get to the cab I tell him to hurry. I stumble into the hospital, and everything is going white. I need some one to help me. I whimper help before falling to the floor.
"JJ...he's gonna come back for me. He's gonna hurt you guys. He's gonna hurt me again. I can't...I can't let him hurt you guys." I whimper through silent tears. I taste the saltiness of them on my lips. I wish the flashbacks would go away but they won't.
"Honey? Honey are you awake?" the nice nurse says. My eyes flutter open, and I see the nice nurse in colorful scrubs. "How are you feeling?" she asks me. I look around. Oh, god. What if they know?
"I...no...no...why am I..." I start to panic. What if he knows? What if he realizes that I'm gone?!
"Honey we need to know your name." she says with a warm smile. I think fast. I go through every friend that I can think of. Anything but Emily.
"Paget. Paget Benton. When can I leave?" I ask. She looks at me in confusion.
"Sweetheart. Paget, you were raped. Don't you want me to call the police?" she asks me. My eyes widen.
"No...no..no..you can't! NO!" I say. I back up off the couch. "I just...I just want to go home. Oh god...what if mother comes home, and knows that I'm missing. I have to go home. I have too. I...where is my phone? I have to call a cab company." I say getting ready to stand. When I do I feel the pain course through me. I'll be fine though. I've mastered how to walk with pain there. I shake it off for a bit, and the nurse looks at me in shock.
"Your clothes are bloody, and all messed up. Do you want some scrubs?" I nod, and keep from breaking down. "Your phone is next to you on the chair. We tried to get into it so we could call your mother, but it has a lock on it." she says. I've been more thankful for locked phones.
"I need those scrubs m'am." I say with a cold distant voice. I can't be a scared little girl. I have to be the cold, distant, calm, unemotional Prentiss woman. Like mother taught. "I need to leave right now. I'm not pressing charges. Don't try to go all I'll save your soul on me. You won't. You don't understand what you're getting into." I say fast and collected. She looks at me in even more shock.
"I'm just trying to help. I know you're scared." I turn to her with furry in my eyes.
"Don't tell me what I feel. You don't know what I feel." I snap at her. "Get me those scrubs." I tell her. I see the look on her face. "Look m'am. All I'm asking for is to go home. I just want to go home." I say. She nods, and gets me scrubs. She leaves and I sit on the bed. I just want to go home. She walks back in and gives them to me.
"How old are you?" I look at her with a frown.
"I'm eighteen." I've lied enough already. She gives me a clip board, and I fill it out. All lies. I wipe some tears that have fallen.
"The doctor stopped the bleeding. You had tearing along your vaginal walls and several cuts and bruises along your body. We can save you." she says. I shake my head.
"No you can't. No one can. Not until he leaves my home, or I leave. Unfortunately I have to deal with it till then. Goodbye." I say grabbing my purse. I walk out as slow as I can. It really hurts this time.
"M'am. Be sure to let him know that if he does this again while you're healing, you will die." she says looking me in the eye. I look at her too.
"Yes m'am." I say. The cab they called is outside. When I get to the mansion I hear cab driver say something about me being a Prentiss. I just give him the money I have and stumble into the house. I walk in, and see Thomas on the couch.
"Where were you Emily?" he asks me. My heart speeds.
"Hospital. I didn't tell them anything. I said my name was Paget Benton. I told them I was eighteen." I say. I'm out of it. I don't care. He looks at me with a small grin.
"You lied to them?" he asks. I nod in shame. "If they show up you're dead." he tells me. I look at him and feel that guilt overwhelm me.
"If you rape me again I'll be dead anyway. The doctor told me that if you rape me again before I'm done healing then I will die from blood loss. Give me a week to heal or you'll have to explain to my mother why when she comes to wake me up in the morning, I'll be lying naked on my back bleeding from my fucking vagina. How do you explain that?" I ask him. I'm so angry, and upset. He looks at me in shock. Suddenly a hand comes down, and I feel a sting on the side of my face. I fall to the ground and touch my face.
"Don't smart off to me ever again!" he yells. "You're lucky! Two weeks. Be nice, or I'll fuck you and drop you in a river myself." he says into my face. "Better pray that I'm patient. Two weeks with out your sweet pussy will be tortuous." he says. I feel myself beginning to feel sick. I go upstairs and empty the contents of my stomach in the toilet. I start a bath because I at least got everything except for blood off of me. I lay in the bath, and reach for my blade I have hidden back behind the toilet wrapped in a cloth. I pick it up, and open up the blade. I think about what the doctor said to me...several cuts...she didn't know that was me. I take it out and stare at it. I put it to my arm and press down. The blood seeps out and I feel the release. I clean up my bloody mess, and then get out of the tub. I clean everything and put my blade away. I throw up again because I feel dizzy, and sick. Too much blood tonight. It's almost sunrise. I've been doing all this since I went to bed. I only slept for an hour at the hospital. I reach into the cabinet for the pain killers I stole. I pop two and make my way to bed. The drugs help me forget.
"The drugs help me forget." I whisper. I stand and run to the bathroom. I open up the pill bottle, and JJ's hand comes to stop me. The pills fall and I turn to her. "JJ! WHY!?" I ask her. She grabs them from me.
"You haven't said anything since you found out. All you do is mumble terrifying things. You've been in a dreamlike state for the past hour. Emily, drugs won't work!" JJ says. I look at her angrily.
"It does too help! It helps me forget! JJ GIVE ME THEM!" I yell. I don't know what I'm thinking. "Give me them JJ...please." I beg her. She looks at me with pain on her face. "I'm so scared Jayjie. I'm so scared." I tell her. She nods and looks at me teary eyed. She sits on the floor with me. I wrap my arms around her, and I try to think of something else. Sadie. I think of Sadie. "She has a lighter shade of Derek's skin. Brown eyes, and black hair. Her giggle is the best sound in the world. When she was 2 she wore a green tootoo around the house. Derek called her princess Sadie." I whisper to myself. I close my eyes, and try to think of things to add to my story. I close my eyes, and I can see them both.
Sadie sits in her chair with a smile. Her hair is getting long. It's in a pony tail and has light curls to it. I smile at her as I cut vegetables for dinner. "Where are my two princess'?" Derek yells coming down the stairs with Dylan grasping on his shirt.
"RIGHT HERE DADDY!" Sadie yells not using her inside voice. I scold her for it and she nods. Derek gets closer and Dylan reaches for me. He looks at me and feigns hurt.
"I just can't keep him when his mama is around." he says. I take my baby from his arms, and Dylan snuggles to my chest. I bounce him and make funny faces at him. Derek leans down and swoops Sadie into his arms. She giggles and he holds her tight. He gives her kisses before setting her back down and telling her to go pick up her room. She runs up the stairs faster than I want her too. She's going to fall and hurt herself. When she's upstairs I sit Dylan in his chair. He smiles up at me. I bend over to pick something up and Derek puts his hands on my hips and thrust forward. I snap up and turn around. I giggle, and he wraps his arms around me.
"Sooo... Michael Morgan what thoughts are you having? They don't seem to be innocent." I say with a smile wrapping my arms around his neck. He kisses me hard and I open my mouth to him.
"What? I man can't make out with his super sexy wife in the kitchen?" Just then a little ball of energy flies down the stairs. This is why she can't wear socks on our wooden floor. She falls because she runs everywhere. She's fast too. Derek keeps his arms around me. He kisses me again hard, and I break it off.
"I don't know how to keep the ones I love safe." I tell JJ.
"Where did you just go too Em?" she asks me. I shrug.
"When I get upset I've been seeing Sadie and Dylan lately. They're there. They grow sometimes. Never more than three years though. I don't know everything is just so messed up. I've been getting horrible head aches lately too. I don't know." I say.
"You ready to go downstairs Em?" she asks me. I nod. When we go downstairs Derek envelopes me in a large hug.
"I'll keep you safe Emily. I'll kill him if he comes near here. I will. I swear to you." he says. I nod, and just breathe him in. Erin walks through the door, and walks straight to David.
"We need to talk in the kitchen about this situation." she says softly. I can hear her though. They both go into the kitchen, and I want to listen.
"Derek...I need a few minutes." I say. He nods and watches me as I move away. I sneak off to the hallway next to the kitchen and I listen to them talk.
"What do you want to do about it?" Erin asks David.
"I don't know what to do Erin. She...she is so scared he'll come after her." David says. "I'm scared that she'll see him and she'll go through a flashback or something. She never got the proper counselling she needed." he finishes.
"I know she didn't. What if she does something?" Erin says. "What if Derek does something?" she asks. "What if you do something? She's your daughter. I know how badly you want to kill him." Erin says. I can see her shaking her head in my mind.
"I do want to kill him. I want to shoot him down and watch him bleed out for what he did to my little girl but...I can't and I know that. I hate it, and I know that I can't do that. She is...she's my baby and the things he did to her...he deserves to die! Not live in a fucking mansion! Not in that big house! Running the state I live in! NO!" David says getting worked up. I peek around and I see Erin put her hands on his shoulders. She shakes her head, and I can hear the tears.
"I'm connected to her too. I mean...I'm married to her father. I love these kids. I love them all. Emily just as much. Maybe even more because she is a part of you. It hurts me too. I want him dead too David." she says. They wrap their arms around each other, and I bite my nails. "We have to deal with him being in the state. If he comes here though we have every right to shoot him down. We will. I'm telling you. We will kill him." she says. I close my eyes, and go back upstairs with Derek. We go to my room, and he holds me.
"What are you thinking?" Derek asks me. I close my eyes.
"I don't know what to think. I'm so scared, Derek. I'm scared he'll come for me. I'm scared he'll get to you, and I'm scared he'll get to Matty in the rehab center. I'm scared for JJ and Will. You all shouldn't have been brought into this." I say holding his hand tight.
"Tell me a story." he whispers. "About Sadie and Dylan. I wanna hear baby. Get your mind off of it." I take a breath and close my eyes to imagine them.
I hold my baby close as we snuggle on the couch to watch Frozen for the eighth time that night. Not that I mind. I sing along sometimes, and Sadie loves it. I push my feet under Derek's legs. "Mommy. Can we watch it again after it's over?" she asks me while yawning. I look at her and smile.
"Or...we turn it off and Daddy tucks his princess in." I tell her. She snuggles closer to me, and yawns again.
"No mommy. I want you to tuck me in. I want you to sing me a song." she says. I smile a bit. That's not normal. Usually little miss Daddy's girl wants him to tuck her in. I nod. She's asleep before she's upstairs though. I hear the rain hit the window. I hear a low thunder clap and I know Sadie's going to be in my room in a bit. Derek and I go to bed. When I lay down again I hear a large thunder clap. It's getting louder and louder. Less than five minutes later I hear Sadie's cries. I hear the sound of footsteps running, and Derek groan next to me. I watch Sadie fly into the room and onto the bed at the sound of the next thunder clap. "Mommy. Can you sing me the thunder song?" Sadie asks me still crying. It always calms her during a thunder storm.
"Okay Sade. Get up here." she sits on my lap and puts her head to my chest. I take a breath and see Derek smiling at me.
Little child, be not afraid
The rain pounds harsh against the glass
Like an unwanted stranger
There is no danger
I am here tonight
Little child
Be not afraid
Though thunder explodes
And lightning flash
Illuminates your tearstained face
I am here tonight
And someday you'll know
That nature is so
This same rain that draws you near me
Falls on rivers and land
And forests and sand
Makes the beautiful world that you see
In the morning
Little child
Be not afraid
The storm clouds mask your beloved moon
And its candlelight beams
Still keep pleasant dreams
I am here tonight
Little child
Be not afraid
The wind makes creatures of our trees
And the branches to hands
They're not real, understand
And I am here tonight
And someday you'll know
That nature is so
This same rain that draws you near me
Falls on rivers and land
And forest and sand
Makes the beautiful world that you see
In the morning
For you know, once even I
Was a little child
And I was afraid
But a gentle someone always came
To dry all my tears
Trade sweet sleep the fears
And to give a kiss goodnight
Well, now I am grown
And these years have shown
Rain's a part of how life goes
But it's dark and it's late
So I'll hold you and wait
'til your frightened eyes do close
And I hope that you'll know
That nature is so
This same rain that draws you near me
Falls on rivers and land
And forests and sand
Makes the beautiful world that you see
In the morning
Everything's fine in the morning
The rain will be gone in the morning
But I'll still be here in the morning
When I finish the song she is lightly snoring even though the thunder is still shaking the house. I lay down, and keep her on my chest. She stirs a bit, but it doesn't matter. I turn to Derek and he's fast asleep too. I laugh at him, and close my eyes. A Lullaby for a Stormy Night. Always works. I smile.
Derek holds me closer, and I breathe him in. Derek is my hero, and with out him I wouldn't be able to survive. I can't be scared of this anymore. I need to face it. He can't hurt me. I have a family now. One that will shoot him down to protect me. Senator or not.
I'll be writing a lot today. Snow/ice storm has taken over the state. Stuck at home all day. I hope I can finish you another chapter by tonight. I'm looking to finish this story up in the next two chapters. I'll start another one though! Don't fret! REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! (I love how many reviews I got last time! Keep it up!) XD
