Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, but Carlisle Cullen owns me.


Hopelessly Devoted to You

Bella Swan's Point of View

I woke up in the middle of the night, groggy and uncomfortable. I was still dressed in my clothes, though I seemed to have kicked my shoes off while I slept. I quickly shed the rest of my clothes and snuggled back down into bed, pulling The Scarlet Pimpernel back to me. I slipped the photograph out and stared at it in the moonlight that filtered through my bedroom window.

"Carlisle." I whispered his name softly, reverently, a prayer to a being no more likely to answer me than the unresponsive God my mother had taught me to pray to as a child. Carlisle was the incarnation of everything I wanted and couldn't have. He was peace, beauty, safety.

He was love.

I turned my head into my pillow, sobbing softly as I pressed the photograph to my chest. I doubted there was anything in the world I wouldn't give for him to look at me that way one more time. I knew it was more imagination than reality, but the idea that he could want me the way he appeared to in that picture was precious enough to me that I was willing to surrender reality to fiction. I would happily lose my mind if I could only spend the rest of my life believing that Carlisle Cullen loved me.

I cried myself to sleep and startled awake a few hours later, frantically checking to see if I had damaged the picture. One corner was bent back, but there was no crease, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I tucked the picture into the book again and curled into a ball, clutching it against me.

I couldn't go back to sleep, though. I had gone to bed early the night before, and it was after four o'clock now. I had slept a long time.

I reluctantly crawled out of bed and got ready for the day. I tried to be quiet about it so I wouldn't disturb Charlie, and shortly after he emerged from his room and came downstairs looking for coffee, I gathered my things.

"I have a study group," I mumbled to him.

He grunted an acknowledgment, and I slipped out the door.

Driving slowly didn't extend the travel time all that much, since I only lived a couple of miles from the high school. I was ridiculously early, so all the doors were still locked, and of course, it was raining. I huddled in the cab of my truck, chilled and depressed, and pulled out the picture of Carlisle and me again. I propped it up on the steering wheel and stared at it.

It was hard to reconcile the man in the picture with the man Jacob's father was so anxious about. The vampire doctor, natural predator of humans, subsisting instead on a diet of animals. Ludicrous. But what I had said to Edward was true–I couldn't think of anything that would make me stop loving the man. If I discovered that Carlisle Cullen was Satan himself, I would follow him happily to hell in hopes that I might occasionally catch a glimpse of him as I burned.

If only he would invite me.

I got so caught up in staring at the picture that I yelped in surprise at the tap on my window. I looked up to see Alice peering at me through the glass.

I laughed self-consciously at my pounding heart, then slipped the picture back inside of my book. I pushed open the door and got out of the truck, glad to see that the rain had stopped. The parking lot had filled with people while I was lost in my own world, and I figured the bell would probably send us all to class in a few minutes.

"You didn't call me back yesterday," Alice said reproachfully.

"Uh, yeah, sorry." I slubg my bag onto my shoulder. "I fell asleep early."

Edward and Jasper sauntered over to us to join the conversation.

"I wanted to tell you that I got our Halloween costumes," Alice said brightly.

"You got costumes?"

"Of course. We're going to a party, we need costumes. And you and I are going to be Thelma and Louise."

I laughed and Alice smiled brightly. "Hooray! I'm so glad you like it! Can you come over and try on your costume tonight?"

"Um," I hesitated. I didn't want another run-in with Charlie over my after-school activities. "I can, but I can't stay long."

"Okay, how come?" Alice asked.

I changed the subject. "What are you two going to be?" I asked Edward and Jasper.

Edward grinned. "Maverick and Goose."

"Hot," I smiled. "The girls can't resist those aviator sunglasses."

Emmett wandered over then, giving me a wink as he kicked Edward out of his way and leaned against the side of the truck. Jasper looked surprised to see him, but Edward and Alice didn't.

"She's getting to you, huh?" Edward asked.

Emmett glared at him. "Yeah, no thanks to you. You and Carlisle have got the whole family wrapped up in this stupid-ass argument of yours." He heaved a heavy sigh. "I don't know about everybody else, but I'm ready for you two to kiss and make up already."

"Help me convince him, then."

"Ha! No way in hell, little brother. When you decided to go head to head with Carlisle Cullen, you set yourself up for failure."

"Please," Edward scoffed. "I can wear him down."

"Whatever you say. But if you ask me, trying to wear down Carlisle's self control is like placing bets against Alice. You'll never catch me doing something that stupid."

"I have the advantage. I'm right."

"You're both a couple of damn mules."

Edward snickered. "Yep. It's a classic symptom of Chiropteritis."

Jasper shot Edward a warning look, but Emmett started laughing right along with him. "That man has no idea what he's done," Emmett hooted. "From now on you're going to be blaming everything you ever do on Chiropteritis."

"Hey," Edward said solemnly, "it's a multifaceted disease." His straight face broke on the final word and he and Emmett were laughing again.

Emmett suddenly straightened and cleared his throat. "That's not funny," he said stiffly. "And seriously, Edward, I haven't gotten laid in like two weeks. You guys need to wrap this shit up so my girl's not so pissy all the time."

Edward smiled calmly. "Rosalie can change her position any time she wants."

"Thanks a lot," Emmett muttered.

The bell sounded, sending us all to class, and I fell into step beside Edward. "Are you going to tell me what you're arguing about yet?"

"Sure," he said casually. "We're arguing about you."

I stopped, frozen by his words, but Edward just kept walking, whistling casually to himself as he disappeared into the school.