Dependence

SSJP Fan Fiction

Harry Potter

ObsessiveDevil23

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I am not making any money from this.

Chapter 26 – Sexuality

Hogwarts was still covered in snow when the students came back off their break, sprinkled here and there with the footprints of the few students that had stayed behind to enjoy the holidays in the castle. Remus sat in the library, flicking through the pages of his Runes book, and not paying attention in the slightest to the wriggles and lines that supposedly made up complex symbols. He head was swimming, and he knew exactly the reason why. Across from him, knees drawn up to his chest, and nose buried in a Herbology volume, sat Regulus Black.

They'd been sat in silence for twenty minutes, and it was not comfortable.

The werewolf grimaced into his own heavy tomb, and scratched behind his ear with one hand in an aggravated way. He glanced once more at the young teenager on the other side of the dark-wood desk. It was the day before term officially began, and he was dressed in a dark grey turtle neck jumper and black, formal trousers; his dark hair flicking and curling around his ears and down to the nape of his neck in thick locks that begged for Remus to reach out and run his fingers through them. The boy was pouting – pouting – at his book.

"How was your break?" Remus asked, cursing himself as his voice came out a lot higher pitched than was strictly necessary. Regulus glanced up at the sound of his voice, and Remus was struck by just how stormy his eyes were. He watched as Regulus' brow creased and he glanced back down towards the Herbology book in his lap.

"Adequate." He replied, flipping one of the pages and going back to reading. Remus felt his cheeks heat up at the short response, and thought back to the days before the break, when they had chatted amicably in each other's company. Had something happened over the holidays to make the young Slytherin angry at him?

He took a deep breath and tried again.

"Did you get many presents?" He asked. "Was it nice to see your parents?"

Regulus sent him another look, this time it looked like a glare.

"I stayed at school." He supplied, then returned his attention to the book. Remus frowned at the response – it was very rare for anyone to stay at the castle over Christmas, most people had a family to get back to, and Regulus most definitely did – it was strange he would choose to stay at Hogwarts.

He pushed a little further.

"Did any of your friends stay too?"

Regulus snapped his book closed and slammed it down on the table, resulting in a bang that made Madam Pince look their way and press a finger to her lips. Remus winced at the sound, and the resulting stony glare that Regulus was sending him.

"Why do you care Lupin?" He growled. "What is your interest in me and my life?" He added, when Remus didn't respond. The werewolf bit his lip.

"I… I just thought we were… friends. Maybe."

Regulus rolled his eyes.

"And why in Merlin's name would you think that?" He mumbled.

Remus closed his book too. He shifted his weight on his chair, avoiding eye-contact with the boy he had developed a stupid little crush on. He coughed.

"I… enjoy your company. I had hoped you… returned that feeling."

Regulus snorted, a sneer amongst his features that marred his natural good-looks. He crossed his arms across his chest and looked at a spot just over Remus' shoulder.

"Is my brother not enough for you anymore?" He asked, angrily. "You already have the good brother as a friend, I see no reason you would want the Slytherin one."

Remus shot his eyes back to Regulus' stormy ones, but Regulus was staring down at his lap. The werewolf opened his mouth to protest that Regulus' house, or Remus' relationship with Sirius had very little to do with his feelings for the younger sibling, but Regulus pushed himself away from the desk and stormed out of the library – leaving Remus alone with his thoughts.

_X_

Sirius lay in his bed, back at Hogwarts, contemplating Lily Evans.

The girl really was a sight to behold, with long fiery hair and a dusting of light freckles across her nose. James had always raved about her eyes, and when Sirius thought about it, they really were the most dazzling shade of green. He'd never met someone who held themselves with such grace and charm, and with her long, shapely legs and slim, feminine shoulders – she just managed to pull off everything she did. Sirius could see why James would have a crush on her.

He pulled out the letter he had been writing to her over the Christmas break guiltily. He had never got around to sending it, but he had eventually put words to paper. Meaningless words, about how his Christmas was going, about how he wished her Christmas was going, about her sister, his brother, everything they had connected on over the last couple of months. He'd signed off with a truthful confession of missing her over the break, and resolved never to send it, because when James finally came to his senses over this whole Snape thing, he'd be wanting to go right back to the beauty that was Lily Evans.

It didn't stop him from feeling guilty about never sending it though.

Severus Snape, on the other hand, was the opposite of Lily. He was too tall, too lanky and too Slytherin. He always walked with a hunch to his already rounded shoulders, and always had a horrible sneer on his hooked-nosed face. His hair was generally greasy, his skin too pale, and his morals too dark. There were no redeeming factors about the boy – and yet somehow James had gone and got himself feelings for the dungeon bat.

It had been so pathetically clear over the break, how James had mooned over the Slytherin, had spent hours wrapping him a special present and detailing out the tag. How he'd pussy-footed around the boy, making sure he was completely comfortable at all times. Sirius hated to think that James had been struggling with not being able to eat and the marauders hadn't even known – that he'd been depending on Snape for help, when he could have been leaning on the marauders instead.

The boy had been distancing himself, and it had made Sirius feel… lonely.

It didn't help that his own brother had barely spoken a word to him since term had begun. Regulus was steadfastly ignoring him with every chance he got, and every time he thought that they might be about to find a solution to whatever had been bothering his brother, something came up which put them right back to square one. He and Regulus had always been close, and yet since the summer it felt like they couldn't have been further apart. Sirius had his suspicions that it had had something to do with his early departure to the Potters that summer, but Regulus knew how their parents were – he was aware of how Sirius felt about it all.

Pete had been distant too, Sirius mused. He was always out and about under the excuse of tutoring, and even when he was with the marauders his mind seemed to be elsewhere. And Remus… the boy was busy with OWLS, and his prefect duties, and had briefly mentioned some boy troubles before the break had begun.

It wasn't an uncommon sight to find Sirius alone in the dormitory any more.

Which sucked.

He shifted slightly on his bed, crossing his arms behind his head and staring morosely at the ceiling, pondering his friends. Remus had boy troubles, James had… boy troubles; what was so exciting about the male form that had captured two of his friends? He frowned at his canopy of his four-poster; it wasn't that he meant to be prejudice – Remus and James could fuck whoever they wanted – but he'd been bought up in a household that was entirely different to theirs. His mother had been a big advocate for the abolition of anything that did not directly further their pure-blood family tree, and there was no point shagging guys when they couldn't give you heirs.

But… he was no longer the heir to the Black name, so Regulus could deal with that whole affair.

His brow creased further as he tried to get more into the psyche of his friends. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine. One of his favourite kinks was taking showers together with his partners, and so he rearranged the image of the faceless blonde in his fantasies, and let it change into Snape. He quickly opened his eyes and gagged at the visual of pale, swallow skin and a disfigured member.

He sighed and tried again, deciding that James was definitely strange for picking Snivellus as the object of his desires, but that didn't mean that all men were disgusting. Closing his eyes once more, he pictured James instead. He'd seen the boy naked many times before – it was an occupational hazard when they all shared a dormitory – but he focused on the last time he'd caught a glimpse of the Chaser in the nude – pulling down his tight jeans to reveal he'd gone commando, so that he could change into his swimwear in Broadsands Bay.

James was skinnier than Sirius had ever noticed, his tanned skin running over his bones so that Sirius could count each rib as he breathed in. A quick look down showed a round buttocks and limp dick.

Sirius quickly opened his eyes, but didn't feel disgusted, just shocked at his own imagination. He breathed slowly as he let his hand travel low, pushing his loose pajama bottoms passed his hips, and began to stroke himself into firmness. He decided not to go with James, it was too odd to think of the boy that way, but instead focused his efforts on Remus.

Remus was the only boy in their dorm who was open about his sexuality – if not to the rest of the school, definitely to the marauders – and Sirius couldn't deny he was the most toned of the four of them. He let his imagination reaffirm his thoughts, thinking about his chest muscles, and his thigh muscles – all firm from their monthly work out when he transformed into a werewolf. He thought about sandy hair, and warm brown eyes looking at him as they stepped into the shower in his mind, and felt a spark of arousal.

He tugged at himself a little faster, thinking about Remus' muscles flexing as he wrapped his arms around Sirius, and his rough, large hands on his back, and fluttering over the tops of his thighs. He imagined the boy kissing him, on his neck, his jawline, his lips, and imagined his own fingers and lips exploring the body before him. In his day-dream, the werewolf pulled them flush, using his teeth to gaze Sirius' skin, and pressed their erections together, making friction that Sirius was so desperately trying to simulate with his hand. His other hand fluttered down over his stomach, and came to rest over his balls, tugging at them and rolling them between his fingers, making him pant jaggedly at the feeling.

Then it was all over as quickly as it had begun, as the person in his imagination came crashing through the door, and he was forced to pull his hands away and pull his covers up around him.

He coughed embarrassedly as Remus stopped in his tracks to look at the sight he must be – flushed, breathing heavily, with his covers pulled up around chest in haste. The Werewolf averted his gaze diplomatically, allowing Sirius enough privacy to pull his pajama bottoms back up around his now fully firm dick. He sat up in bed, determined to keep his composure and look the boy in the eye.

Remus chuckled, and took a swig from a bottle he had in his hand. Sirius read the label to find it to be fire-whisky.

"You've been drinking?" He asked, with a frown on his face. It was the night before term began, what would have made Remus forgo his usual worrying over their OWLS and pick up a bottle?

Remus shrugged.

"That cute chick from Huff-Hufflepuff gave me some." He murmured, sitting down heavily on his bed, and hiccupping. Sirius rolled his eyes – the boy was fearsome in many ways, but he was a total light-weight when it came to drinking.

"That cute chick?" He questioned, because Remus wasn't exactly one for, well, chicks.

"You know the one… Samwell?" Remus replied, frowning at his own inability to remember. Samwell made the most sense, they'd done a lot of kissing and Remus didn't exactly see himself snogging a girl.

"Samantha?" Asked Sirius.

"Bingo!" Exclaimed the werewolf.

Wait… that would mean he had made out with a girl.

"She's not a very good kisser." Remus said, scrunching up his nose at the idea that he had kissed her at all – maybe it was best he put the alcohol away.

Sirius rose an eyebrow at the confession.

"Isn't Samantha the one that's been flirting with you for like a year and a half now? The one you said that even if you were straight you wouldn't go there?" He questioned, a flicker of anger running through him. So he was sat alone in the dorm, feeling lonely, whilst Remus got his rocks off with some S.T.I ridden chick who didn't even realize the guy was a thorough-bred cock-sucker?

He came and sat down on the other boy's bed, ignoring the obvious tent in his trousers where his body had yet to catch up with his mind. Remus sent him a warm, toothy grin.

"Jealous Pads?" He asked, making Sirius colour slightly. "Don't worry. I didn't sleep with her."

Sirius breathed a sigh of relief without realizing it, and even though Remus was intoxicated, he still noticed it.

"… You know I'm not into girls." He muttered. Sirius nodded.

"I know." He replied, worrying his lower lip between his teeth. "I just… You know what your like with drink – I worry about you making bad judgements."

Remus looked at him for long moment, narrowing his eyes as he surveyed the other boy on his bed.

"I want to sleep with you." He said, uncharacteristically confident. Sirius' eyes widened, and he swallowed heavily. He watched as Remus leant forwards, placing a hand firmly on Sirius' knee. Sirius felt his breathing shallow, and the tent in his trousers, which had been steadily going down, sprung back into life.

"You don't mean that." He replied, but even he knew there was no conviction in his tone. Remus just shrugged, travelling his hand up the boy's leg, and leaning in dangerously close to Sirius' ear.

"Don't I?" He whispered, and Sirius felt a shiver run through his body. He gently, tentatively, allowed his hands to travel up to his friend's shirt, and ball around it.

"I'm very confused." Sirius replied, eyes wide as he allowed Remus to get far too close to his face. Their lips brushed, sending a jolt of electricity through him.

"Just say the word and I'll stop." Said Remus. "But if you don't say so now I'm really not sure I can… stop."

Sirius allowed himself a precious moment to revel in Remus' hands under his baggy top, and Remus' breath over his ear, cheek and lips, and Remus leg pressed against his. He licked his lips, and then, although he would never admit it later – desperately pushed them against his friend's.

Remus almost instantly pushed him backwards, so that he landed roughly on his back against the bed. He let out a low, guttural moan as the werewolf invaded his mouth with a wet tongue, and pulled a knee up to cause a large amount of friction between their legs. Large hands were everywhere on his body, with calloused finger-tips fluttering over his hips. Their mouths dislodged from each other, and Remus instantly latched onto his neck, sucking a hot, wet mark there that Sirius knew he would have to use concealer charms for in the morning.

He gasped and writhed at the pleasure, as Remus' fingers went bellow his waistband and tangled themselves in the hair there. All items of clothing were quickly ridden of, thrown about the room haphazardly, and the two boys paused to look at each other. Remus was everything Sirius had thought about in his fantasy just twenty minutes before – except he smelt of alcohol and there was no shower.

The two boys dived right back in, hands everywhere, erections rubbing together as they thrusted into each other's company. Sirius gasped, letting out a little squeak as Remus' hand travelled low and gripped at him firmly. He pumped the boy under him a few times, and Sirius arched up into him, desperate for more attention, whilst the werewolf bit and licked at his shoulders and neck attentively.

"Fuck. Rem-" He cried, but then tensed as he heard the boy on top mutter a spell he himself had used a few times with girls he'd bedded. A wet, sticky sensation erupted between his legs and he squirmed at the sensation – he'd never realized how uncomfortable that spell could actually be. "I… are we actually going to do this?"

Remus stilled in his ministrations.

"I planned to. You're… okay with that?"

Sirius thought about the stickiness down below, and the tantalizing fingers running around his body, and the firm grip around his dick. He didn't exactly revel in the idea of Remus being on top, but on reflection of the werewolf's experience in such regards, as opposed to his own, he relented.

Slowly, he nodded, and Remus gently pushed himself against the Black boy, breathing out heavily.

"I've wanted this for a long time." He muttered, and Sirius gripped on to his shoulders, as the boy rocked against his open legs, creating a friction that was all at once far too much and nowhere near enough. Hands travelled low, and all of a sudden all of the beautiful sensations running around his body were dulled as Sirius felt Remus push a finger inside him.

"Holy fuck." He gasped, instantly clenching around the foreign invader and pushing it out a little, goosebumps springing up over his arms and back – but Remus' other hand was gently wrapped around his achingly hard dick, and his lips were placing light kisses all over his chest, and he could feel himself beginning to relax.

Remus worked meticulously, for what seemed like hours, spreading the boy underneath him until Sirius was pushing back on to his fingers, reluctant to say it out loud but desperate for that little bit more. Remus' hands were playing him like a piano, and Sirius, for a long time, had been at a loss as to where to put his own – eventually settling for placing them down on the werewolf's shoulders and tracing circles there when he had enough mental capacity to focus on it.

Eventually, Remus pulled his fingers out, locking eye-contact with the boy beneath him, and Sirius took a deep breath, attempting not to whimper at suddenly feeling very empty. Remus let out a huff of air over his companion's face, which should have been disgusting but just felt natural.

"This is your last chance Padfoot." The werewolf said, shifting slightly on top of the boy. "You just have to say."

Sirius gulped, thinking about how stretched he felt, about how every moment Remus' fingers had been in him he had felt strange and too exposed, but when they had disappeared he had almost instantly missed the feeling, and he shook his head.

Reaching up, he pressed his lips once more to Remus, pushing a hand into the sandy-haired boy's hair, and dragging him back down with him.

"I need this right now." He confessed. "Don't… don't go."

Remus nodded, pushing himself further against the boy's spread legs until he felt himself slip inside. Mindful of Sirius' gasps and hiccups of pleasure and uncomfortableness, he took it slowly, rocking back and forth gently into the boy – and latched his mouth back onto the boy's neck.

- X -

Bright light filtered into the corridor from the large windows, and there a few younger students were hurrying about, trying to find their friends from other houses for a night of getting into trouble before term began. James had seen Remus saunter off with a Hufflepuff girl, with a few sneakily hidden bottles of fire-whiskey hidden in their robes, and Pete herd a couple of Ravenclaw third years towards the potions classrooms for a catch-up lesson after the Christmas break. Sirius had excused himself pretty quickly from their group as soon as the Hogwarts Express had pulled into Hogsmeade station, with a confused and angry look towards the Chaser, and as far as James could tell had holed himself up in their dorm for the foreseeable future. James was walking down the corridor alone, his shoes clacking against the stone floor.

"James."

He slowed to a stop at the sound of his own name, said so delectably by such a familiar voice, and cursed himself for his cheeks heating up at the sound. He waited until the second years at the end of the corridor had turned the corner before turning around to face the man who had called him.

Severus. The man he'd been avoiding since New Year's Eve.

It hadn't exactly been an easy feat to avoid and ignore the boy, considering they had shared a bedroom for the remainder of the break, and every day Severus seemed to come up with an order that was more embarrassing and difficult than the last. He'd attempted to bury himself in his own homework in an attempt to not get distracted by the Slytherin, which James supposed was probably why Sirius was sending him worried looks. His only solace had been his brief visit to Remus' – where he had spent the entire time thinking of Severus in his parents' home.

He turned, and Severus was everything he knew he would be. Tall and lanky, dressed in dark clothing that hung off him in all the wrong places, hooked nose, pale skin, sunken, black eyes. But Merlin, he'd tied his hair back with the hairband James had given him for Christmas and his cheekbones were so high, and his jawline so tempting.

"Se-Severus." He responded, crossing one arm over his stomach and clutching at the elbow of his other arm. He searched for eye contact from his companion, and was shocked to find the Slytherin give it to him easily.

"You've been avoiding me." Severus stated. James went to shake his head, then remembered before the break, when Severus had told him quite clearly he was never to lie, and nodded instead.

"Yes." He supplied.

Severus took a few steps closer to him, and when he was sure there was no one around, traced the back of one of his fingers over James' cheek.

"You are quite pretty. You know that?" He stated, with more confidence than James would have thought him capable. The Chaser felt himself heat up at the idea of Severus thinking of him as pretty. But the Slytherin kept talking. "Objectively, of course. I am sure you are aware of the girls throwing themselves at your heels, and the heels of your marauder buddies."

The hand that had been on James cheek was snatched away again as a seventh year Slytherin turned the corner.

"I have a request." Severus stated, and James, who had been expecting him to say order, and was pleasantly surprised by the change of tone in his Slytherin's actions, nodded along earnestly. "Will you come to my work room in an hour?"