Chapter 28: Flusher Tales
A/N: in this installment Caroline experiences the Manic-depression and attempted suicide over something small
Caroline sat slumped in her couch; she had just added about a dozen coats to the wall so it wouldn't be bothering her for a while. She always hated this time, when the lock was getting so full she could feel the nastiness even when the seal was at its strongest, she wished she'd just flush already. "Then why don't you just kill yourself now and be done with it?" the black robed figure states bluntly. "Because it's not time yet, I'd just end up being thwarted by something stupid" she responds, glaring into the eyes of the figure on her living room table. "B-b-b-but you don't know that! The System could fail! You could be free of being a flusher! And I could be free of this wretched enslavement!" the figment gestures grandiosely.
"You're the enslaved one! I'm the one who has to deal with humanities spiritual shit! And if you haven't noticed humanity stinks!" Caroline was feeling a little more manic now. "Gwwwaahhhhh!" the headvoice screams and pulls out a miniature scythe before launching itself at her face. She catches it right before impact and promptly throws the irate being at a wall. "YOU FUCKING BITCH! Yooouuuu…." The beings rant and gesticulation fades off as Caroline continues to stare at it. Picking up the now immobile being she rearranges his limbs into a pose halfway through the Macarena dance. "I'll let you move when you decide to behave yourself" she states to the figure as she places it on the entertainment center.
"FUCK YOU!" and with that Caroline stomps to the garage.
She's about halfway down the street when she looks into the back seat and found her other three figments calmly buckled up. "So dear Caroline where are we heading today?" Pustulio inquisitively asks while adjusting his saftey harness. "To MacDowell's, I want a sweet tea" she explains as she recklessly drives around slower moving vehicles. "You shouldn't do that you'll only make yourself fat" the feeble voice remarks from the middle seat, its seatbelt barely staying on. "And I'm currently grotesquely underweight so what's the problem?" the figments only response is silence. Finally the troll-figment rattles off a sound that resembles the Tasmanian devil with some "explodey" and "arson" thrown in.
Despite their protests she leaves the entities in the car, cracking the window slightly before locking them in. She walks into the establishment, greeted with the typical looks she receives for standing out and being obscenely thin. She sights the tea fountain and makes a beeline for it, overjoyed at the thoughts of the sweetness that waited. She's about three feet from her goal when a large fat man in a uniform stepped in front of her. "Ummm, Excuse me but you appear to be in my way" she says as she points past the man. "Sorry ma'am but by Executive Order 74727 all citizens are to cut their daily caloric intake" after the bland explanation the man takes out a pen and clipboard. "If you would please identify what foods you have eaten today and their caloric values I will be happy to review your choice of beverage for consideration"
"Ummmm, wellll I haven't reallllyy, uhh, I think I ate some toast this morning, or was that yesterday?" the murderous woman attempts to pass the man but is prevented from doing so by the man's girth. "Listen, madam, the government health plan specifically limits individuals to 3000 calories a day, you may think lying will help but it won't" then man responds with a stern look.
"3000! I've eaten that much in maybe the last week! If anything I need that fucking tea! So just get the fuck out of my way!" Caroline punches the man's nose, trips him and then heads towards the beverage machine. She had already gotten a cup, filled it with ice, and was about to begin filling it when a series of three shots rang out and the liquid spilled from the drink fountain and onto the floor.
Caroline looks down at the expanding puddle then back at the fat beverage dictator who is now holding a revolver in his pudgy hands. "Madam it is the government's responsibility to keep its citizens healthy even if it means protecting them from themselves" the man continues to point the pistol at her. "Just give up, come back when the machines repaired with a list of what you ate before coming" the cashier chimes in, trying to break the tension.
"Ohhh, it just so easy to give up, to give in" Caroline drops the now useless cup. "you have no idea what it's like to be me, to endure the constant mockery of things claiming to be "human" or "mature", the constant stares, mocking, and whispers just because I look different, even you…" she gestures to the rest of the patrons. "couldn't resist staring at the odd skinny girl who just walked in…then there are the memories…I walk by a hospital, all I can think about are my parents getting blown to bits!" she folds her arms close to her body now.
"Then there's that foster home down the street...reminds me of my brother…the last true family I had left lost because of pure stupidity…." she trails off as she reaches for one of her blades. "AND THEN YOU HAD TO GO AND DEPRIVE ME OF THE ONE THING I WAS ACTUALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO! THE LAST THING KEEPING ME ON THIS RUSTING BLADE YOU CALL LIFE!" with that last sentence she slices halfway through the man's arm and catches his gun as it falls from his hand.
Pointing it at the prone fatso she unloaded another three bullets into his fat encased body. "Don't worry you lonely fuck…you won't die alone" she then turned the gun to her temple and pulls the trigger. Nothing happened, she tried a few more times before flipping the revolving portion of the gun out. "Really! A fucking six cylinder revolver! The one time I actually want to die and the universe pulls a fast one!" she tosses the gun through a nearby window before glancing down at her blade in contemplation.
DING!
"OoOoOoO! They didn't get rid of the apple pies!" she hops over the counter grabs the small freshly baked goods and a soda from the employee fridge. She then hops back over the counter and throws a ten at the stunned cashier. "Keep the change"
A/N: this whole situation seems vaguely familiar doesn't it? I love apple pie, its so yummy and sweet tea too!
