And now we find out the winner and what cheesiness awaits them. :D
Round Nine Part Three
Jigen, in full pimp gear, leaned against the wall of a building and watched the huge party from a distance. Everyone seemed like they were having fun. Everyone except for him.
"Nervous?" Goemon, who was sitting nearby in fake meditation, asked.
Well, almost everyone except for him was having fun.
"Yeah, nervous I'll win this stupid thing," Jigen muttered.
Goemon glanced up in curiosity. "I thought that was the point, though. I thought that one of us had to win this."
"I don't even know the point of this thing anymore," Jigen sighed.
"Yeah, me neither," Goemon said with a shrug. He then returned to his pretend serenity.
Jigen let out a long and loud sigh and went back to watching the happy people play.
He saw that everyone was there. And they were mingling. Mingling!
Lupin, Fujiko, Mamou, Pycal... Everyone. They were all together and laughing and drinking and dancing.
"This party is atrocious," spat Mamo as he walked up and stood by Jigen and Goemon.
"Why?" Jigen whined quietly, wondering if he had some sort of magnet inside of him that attracted idiots and weirdos.
"That Stan fellow wouldn't even allow me to bring my clone army as guests! Well, I told him to watch his back the next time he went to some convention," Mamo scoffed.
Jigen walked away.
"You think some man is dressed up as Mao, I told him, but he'll be the real thing," Mamo said in a threatening voice, not even noticing Jigen had left. "And then you'll be sorry," he laughed. "Oh yes, sorry, indeed."
Goemon glanced at the scary little man and stood, walking off, leaving Mamo alone to his evil thoughts of death and murder.
...
"And so, it is with great honor that I, the mayor of this awesome and majestic city, the mayor who got more votes than any other mayor this wonderful town has ever elected, the mayor who..."
Jigen sighed as the man at the podium continued to ramble on and on about things nobody in the audience cared about or wanted to hear.
"Politicians," Zenigata muttered in disgust. He was close to flinging a cookie at the man's head when Jigen reached over and stopped him.
As the two sat only three feet from the man and with Zenigata's wrist powers, Jigen knew that such a move would send the man to the hospital, turn the people against Zenigata, and that Jigen would end up winning.
"...and I'm sure you all would love to hear about my expedition to the South Pole," the mayor continued on, chuckling at his "adoring fans". "But, I'm being told that we're pressed for time, so I will hand over the mic to the man, the legend, Mister Stan Lee!"
The crowd erupted in applause as Stan walked up and stood behind the podium. "Thank you, Mister Mayor. Well, this experience has been one bumpy ride," Stan said with a laugh. "We've seen vile villains and devious deeds. We've had close calls and furious fights. And of course we can't forget the lovable lionhearts and their astounding abilities."
"Oh dear god..." Jigen sighed, almost to the point of walking off and becoming a hermit.
Zenigata gave him a sincere look and patted him on the shoulder
"These two brave men behind me," Stan said as he turned and gave proud smiles to the both of them. "These superheroes who made it all the way to the final two... Man, I tell you, it sure was hard to pick a winner. And I hated to have to send one of them home, but as you know, there can only be one clear winner. Super Magical Mofo Pimp," Stan said as he looked at Jigen.
Jigen was ready to kill.
"And Bringer of Magical Sweet Tasting Cookies." Stan looked at Zenigata.
Jigen sighed a breath of relief, thinking Stan had picked him to win.
Stan smiled and stared out at the crowd as a hush fell over everyone. "I want to thank you both for what you did to save this city from the evil that plagued it. But during your final battle there was only one clear winner. And that winner is... Bringer of Magical Sweet Tasting Cookies!"
"Oh thank god," Jigen yelled as he stood up and raised his clenched fists in the air.
"I won?" Zenigata said as he stared off in shock. "I never win anything..."
The audience cheered wildly.
Jigen pulled Zenigata up off the chair and hugged him, then shoved him towards the podium and took off.
"Bringer of Magical Sweet Tasting Cookies," Stan said loudly over the cheering crowd. "Do you have anything to say tonight?"
Zenigata, tears welling up in his eyes, walked up to the podium and smiled at the crowd, overwhelmed by it all.
...
"Thank god that's over with," Jigen said as he laid on the couch in one of Lupin's hideouts.
One week had passed since the revealing of the winner and life for the gang of thieves returned to normal.
"And Lupin?"
"Hmm?" Lupin wondered, his mouth full of roast beef as he stared at Jigen.
"If you ever enter us into some stupid contest or game show or anything ever again, I swear I will shoot you."
"Wuh?" Lupin asked as he chewed his food. "Buh why?"
"I will shoot you in the face," Jigen said, ignoring Lupin's stupid question.
Lupin turned sad. They were all out of roast beef. "But, Jigen," he said after somehow swallowing all that food. "Don't you want to be a winner? Just once?"
Jigen threw the controller and beaned Lupin in the head with it.
The TV turned on as the controller fell to the floor.
"Oh no," a group of girl scouts on the TV shrieked. "It's Manxman!"
"Oh, meow," a thin, short, and wiry man wearing a cat suit said as he made a scratching motion with his right hand.
"What. The hell," Jigen said as he stared blank faced at the TV.
"He's coming right at us," a brown haired girl scout yelled as she gazed at the camera in fear.
There was more shrieking and suspenseful music before everything turned happy as heroic music played.
"Never fear," Zenigata, in his superhero uniform, said as he jumped onto screen.
"Bringer of Magical Sweet Tasting Cookies!" one of the girl scouts said joyously.
"We're saved. Yay!" the rest of the group shouted as they jumped up and down excitedly.
Zenigata smiled a cheesy smile.
Various scenes of action and drama were shown before the commercial ended with a guy doing awful voice-overs.
"It's girl power when the members of Troop 2416 face off against the evil Manxman. When this villain isn't drinking milk he's plotting to take over the world."
"We strive to make the world a better place," the girls yelled together as they stood in a heroic pose.
Zenigata threw some cookies at Manxman, who hid behind a pillar.
"You seem to forget one thing," Manxman said in his nasally little affectionate voice. "I have nine lives. Meow!"
"Coming next month," the horrible voice-over said. "Cat-tastrophy strikes in Junior Scouts: League of Legends."
The commercial ended and the room was silent, Lupin, Jigen and Goemon all staring at the screen in stunned silence, all embarrassed that something that horrible was even made.
"I am so watching that," Lupin mumbled.
Jigen and Goemon slowly turned their heads to stare at him.
