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Half an hour after noon, as they round a corner before a clearing, Bella catches sight of gran, sitting on top of a tree, eating what appear to be dried apricots as she waves at them. She climbs down with ease, lands softly, and walks over to them. Her eyes are twinkling as she watches them hold hands, but she doesn't comment as she hugs them.
"You're late," she says, sounding amused. "I made lunch."
Gran has fried eggs of unknown origin (to Bella), and they sit around the small fire she made, eating in silence until gran, staring at their torn bag, asks, "What happened?"
"Grizzly," Edward says, not meeting her eyes.
Gran raises her eyebrows. "You didn't hang your food on a tree?"
"No."
"Why?"
"I forgot," Edward says, a tinge of pink covering his cheeks.
"You forgot? You never forget."
"It was on the Silent Slope," Edward explains.
Gran leans forward. "You saw a grizzly on the Silent Slope?"
"Two, actually," Edward answers, taking out his camera to show her pictures. Skeptically, gran frowns, but zooming in on the pictures, she's forced to agree.
"They're out early this year," she says, continuing to eat before she stops to eye Edward. "Sleeping on the Silent Slope in no reason not to hang your food on a tree. You must never forget."
"I know," Edward says, silently.
"Why did you?"
"It was my fault, too," Bella starts, not wanting Edward to take all blame. "I forgot, too."
Ignoring Bella, gran observes Edward's face until he gets uncomfortable and says a few words in Aleut. Gran's eyes immediately snap on Bella, and gran laughs, patting Edward's back. "Qaǵaxtaq," gran says, grinning. "Makes us all go stupid."
Edward blushes, not meeting anyone's eyes.
Having finished eating, Bella rewraps her scarf so that the frozen, front part is behind her neck. They make sure that no garbage is left behind and start to hike downhill, heading towards a valley none of them had passed through. Gran is on Bella's left and Edward, who had taken her hand again, on her right.
"So, qaǵaxtaq," Bella says, pronouncing it awkwardly. "Means what, exactly?"
Gran and Edward lock eyes before both look away; gran is grinning and her eyes twinkling, but Edward seems embarrassed, looking at his feet and blushing.
Gran starts jogging backwards, facing them as her long, straight hair blows in the wind before she tucks it under her coat. "It means—"
"Gran," Edward warns.
Gran smiles, looking at their joined hands before shaking her head, laughing, saying something in Aleut Bella can't understand.
"Is it good?" Bella asks.
"Gran," Edward warns again, quiet but insistent. "Please."
Gran nods, sharply, and, still smiling, turns around and starts running downhill, arms stretched, jumping over some rocks with light steps despite her backpack. Staring after her, Bella is once again reminded by what a big part of aging is in our heads. She finds herself wishing to be like gran when she's older.
"I should've never told you it's okay to speak Aleut around me," Bella says, smiling at the sight of gran far ahead of them. "Now you have a secret language and I understand none of it."
Squeezing her hand, Edward stops Bella, just for a moment. Saying nothing, he envelops her in a hug, cradling the back of her head and resting his chin on top of her head. He stays like that for a minute or two, not moving, before brushing a mitten-clad finger over her nose, a smile in his eyes.
"Soon," he says, pulling back her hat to kiss her forehead before taking her hand, explaining nothing else. She watches their joined hands, feeling his lips on her forehead long after they started walking again. During their next stop, gran asks to see the pictures they'd taken, and when they sit side by side to have a look at them and count the animals, Bella, just like gran, discovers that nearly every second picture is of her. Her laughing, her smiling, her sitting behind a rock, looking at an animal. There's so much of her, and she's never seen herself look so happy.
"A rare creature," gran says, smiling, eyeing Edward before she continues to skip photos of Bella to count the animals they'd caught on pictures, but Bella makes eye contact with Edward and holds his gaze. A blush covers his cheeks, and he breaks eye contact, but Bella pulls his hand on her lap. He looks unsure until Bella smiles brightly, brushing over his frown with her mitten.
Gran counts forty two animals before getting up and hugging both. "Congratulations," she says, picks up her backpack, grins, and starts jogging ahead of them.
"What about your pictures?" Edward yells.
"I left my camera at home!" gran shouts back, jogging backwards. "You really think I would've let you let me win?" Her laughter echoes in the valley as she twirls around. "Never!"
"Your gran is amazing," Bella says after they start walking after her. "Odd, but amazing."
They carefully hang their food on top of a tree in the evening, and Bella is quite content to sleep in a tent—not that it offers much protection—after the previous night's adventures. The evening is quiet, crisp and foggy. Gran refuses to sleep in their tent, saying something in Aleut that, again, embarrasses Edward, who seems to argue a little. Edward, who'd been content to listen to Bella and gran most of the way, offering few words in return, continues with his pattern to say little, so as they start falling asleep, Bella faces him, observing his face.
"Good silence or bad silence?"
"Mmm," he replies, squeezing her hands as they lay between them like on the previous night. "Just unsure about some things."
Feeling like this might have something to do with her, Bella closes her eyes, pushing back the hurt. With their talk tomorrow evening, she knows his hesitation is likely to involve her. Maybe he'd changed his mind, if he'd ever felt anything for her. Maybe he felt she didn't belong, despite everything.
But she rarely let her insecurities drive her actions, and so she simply blinks, feeling his breath on her face.
"Anything I can help you with?"
He pulls her hands next to his face, brushing his lips over her knuckles. "Be yourself," he says, smiling shyly. A few minutes later, he falls asleep, and she follows.
The next day is filled with a strange combination of laughter and tension. Bella finds herself distracted and eager for the evening to arrive as they observe animals in the distance. Just like the previous day, gran either jogs ahead of them, waiting for them on top of trees, or falls behind. Bella doesn't ask for the reason, feeling it might have something to do with wanting to give them privacy.
It's around six PM, still foggy, when they reach the lake that leads home. Pointing in the distance, gran explains that there are exactly three places where springs prevent ice from carrying them—one in the distance, a place Bella recognizes could be where Edward fell through, one directly to their left and one in front of the bay that leads to their house. Edward holds out his arm to help her climb the steep shoreline. She takes it, smiling to herself when gran runs ahead of them, hugging the dogs that run out to greet her.
Edward tugs at her arm, preventing her from following, and when she frowns, looking back, Edward backs her up against a tree and lets go of her hand to rest both of his hands on her waist. The urgency, so uncharacteristic of Edward, makes her shiver. She's nervous and excited, raising eyes to meet his.
"Are you alright?" she asks, lifting her chin out of her scarf. Edward squeezes her like she's made out of clay, soft and pliant, and so she wraps her arms around his waist in return, heart in her throat.
"I just—" Edward whispers, taking off his mitten before cupping her jaw with his bare hand, brushing his warm thumb over her lips. "I just…" His eyes flicker from her one eye to the other, like he's trying to memorize her, and when he sighs, his breath warms her nose. "Dinner, and then we'll talk, yeah?"
"Mhmm," she whispers, breathless from seeing Edward, the epitome of calm and collected, lose control like that. The tension is gone from his shoulders when he steps back, looking mildly embarrassed as he takes her hand, but they've taken barely five steps before she's pressed against a tree again, and both mittens are gone from his hands as he cups her jaw, tilting her head up and lowering his own, brushing his lips against hers, or maybe it's Bella who closes the gap between them. His face is prickly and skin cold. Bella tears off her own mittens to touch his face, making sure he's real as he kisses her like he means it, holding tighter and pressing stronger to feel every inch of her. Breathless, he pulls back just a little, resting his forehead against hers, the vapor of their breaths mixing.
He grazes her cheek with his fingertip. "Bella, I…"
"Edward?"
A young, female voice calls out, making Edward blink. Realizing what he's doing, he pales, stepping back, rubbing his open mouth, looking quite terrified. At the blink of an eye, the fear on his face is replaced by regret, and, keeping his palm over his mouth, he avoids eye contact. "Fuck," he says, voice pained. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"
To what? To want her? To kiss her?
Blinking rapidly, Bella presses her lips so tightly together the pink disappears. "It's okay," she whispers, so quietly she can barely hear her voice herself. He'd rejected her before, not quite under these circumstances, not after kissing her, but he'd done it, and she'd survived. She just had to keep herself together in front of him so that, maybe, he wouldn't know how deep he could cut.
"Edward! Gran said you'd be outside! Are you here?"
"Bella, I—"
"Let's… let's not do this, please," Bella whispers, avoiding his eyes. "I'll just—maybe gran will help me make a fire to have a shower, so you can just… go, and, I'm just sorry. I didn't mean to attack you like that."
