#28

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The rest of the night was spent in silence. We didn't say a word till Happy put Vic to bed and he came out to the front porch baby monitor in hand. I felt his dark eyes on me as I watched the dogs sniff around the yard and driveway.

"Why did you marry me?" I whispered.

He didn't answer for a few minutes just continued to stare at me.

"Because I love you, that's why," he replied.

"That doesn't answer the question Hap, you can love someone but not marry them. Seriously why? Was it the baby or your Mom? Why'd you agree to this?"

"Why do you want to know Lela?"

"Do you know what it's like to spend every day for over a decade wondering why the one person you've loved for all your adult life is with you? Its pure hell Hap," I told him.

"Why are you still on this Lela?"

"Because we've been together for over a decade and I don't know why your with me. The girls you cheat on me with are nothing like me, they are the girls that work for me. I mean what am I supposed to think when you go around fucking fake blondes with fake tits and then you come home to me?"

"Why's this a big deal now?"

"Because I'm at a point where I need to start thinking about the future, for us and for our kids and for this baby," I said whispering the last part.

"Honestly?" he asked.

Nodding my head I looked at him.

"I'm not sure. Everything with you was a gut move, never steered me wrong before."

"So what you regret it now?" I asked.

"You don't want the answer to that. Mia's waking up," he said before standing up and walking back in the house.

Sighing I whistled for the dogs and stood up. I opened the door as both dogs came running up the porch and into the house. Walking back inside after they came in I closed the door and locked it. Turning off the lights I slowly made my way to the bedrooms. I looked in on Vic who was sound asleep and left the door open for Jesse to go in. Walking into the bedroom I left the door open a little for Vic and saw Happy standing by the window.

"I thought Mia was awake?" I asked him.

"She was," he said before turning around and took off his shirt.

"I love you Happy, I always have. I'm not proud of the shit that I did while you were inside, but I did what I had to make sure our family survived while you were gone."

"There was never a time that I regretted us. Not when Tig got pissed and not when you told me who your Dad was. But that shit tonight," he said stopping before he could finish the sentence.

"You were going to take my kids from me Hap. When you decide that you need some time from playing husband and father they are all I have. I'm sorry that I said they weren't yours, but I was scared. Hell I still am."

"We aren't talking about this go to sleep," he said while taking off his pants and throwing them at the hamper in the corner.

Sighing I looked down at Mia and saw that she was sleeping in the bassinet. Slowly I began to change out of my clothes and into a loose grey v-neck and got in bed. Sitting in bed I watched as Happy left the room. I heard him walking around the trailer and checking the doors and windows. When he came back in he closed the door a little and turned back to look at me.

"I'm scared Hap, I'm really scared. There's just this pit of dread in my stomach and I don't know what to do next or what's going to happen. I just know that anytime someone comes up here or I hear my phone ring I begin to panic because I think something's happened to you or Tig or my Dad," I told him feeling my throat constrict and my voice break.

"There's always going to be something Lela. That's the life we live," he said getting into bed next to me.

"I know. And I've never had this feeling before because I knew that you'd try to make everything better. But whatever's happening with us I just."

"Nothing's going to happen. You moved out here to make sure of that. You left your life and businesses and uprooted our kids because of it."

"What if all that was a mistake? What if we just slowly break away because I moved our family out here?"

"Where's all this coming from Lela?" he asked laying down.

"Us, this is coming from us. I don't want us to end up hating each other because of this or the baby."

"Is this about the baby?" he asked sitting up.

"It's about everything not just the baby. But it does play into it."

"Why are you worried about the baby?"

"Because I'm scared we won't be the same after this baby. And I need you in my life Hap, our kids need you in their lives."

"I'm not leaving the kids. Now go to sleep," he said before laying back down and turning of the lamp on the side table.

Sighing I turned off my lamp and laid down next to him. I stared at the black ceiling till I felt Happy turn. I knew he was still awake but we both said nothing and laid there in silence.

I felt his hand move my shirt up. He stopped at my stomach and laid his hand on my little bump. Smiling I turned my head to face him and looked at his calm face.