Hey guys! Sorry for the mini hiatus there... but times are getting so busy lately because school is winding down sort of so my teachers think "oh, hmm... I think it's pretty wise to cram as many tests as possible into the next month including ridiculous finals in ever class!" This is why Bryan Ryan (a member of the school board... ) was a villain... hah just kidding just kidding. Enjoy!

Three weeks ago, Emma Schuester had sat terrified in a hospital room, getting ready to go into surgery. She thought she had been scared then. But that was nothing compared to what she felt now. Everything had been fine until the last few minutes of school...

Emma smiled as she looked at the single white and pink orchid on her desk. Ever since her surgery, Emma found she had a new appreciation for the world she so nearly lost. She was taking well to the surgery and didn't know yet if chemotherapy would be needed, but she had a feeling inside her that no matter what, she would be alright. In her reverie, Emma had barely noticed the menacing presence of a figure at her doorway.

She looked up to see her own daughter, Maddie, standing angrily in the frame. She beckoned for the girl to come inside, but Maddie stormed in anyway. "How could you?" she whispered, half hissing the words. A lone tear trolled its way down her daughter's soft cheek, and Emma felt her mouth form an "o".

"How could you, Mom? I-I... I thought I... I thought you cared, that you loved me," she whispered, turning her back so that Emma could no longer see her eyes.

"Maddie," she stood up gently, placing a soft hand on her child's shoulder. Maddie shrugged it off quickly.

"Get away from me."

"M-Madelyn, sweet pea, what's this about?" Emma asked quietly. She had never seen Maddie this angry or this hurt before.

"What's this about? What's this about?" Maddie wanted to scream, but she knew that the last few remaining students would probably hear her. She still had respect for her mother's wishes, no matter how much they hurt her. If she hadn't wanted her own children to know the truth, obviously she didn't want the people at McKinley to know either. "Y-you have cancer. Y-you're... you're sick, mom, really sick and you didn't tell me, or Andy or... or any of us! A-and that business trip two w-weeks ago... y-you didn't go on business, Mom, did you?" More tears escaped the girls eyes. "I-I... I thought this sort of thing w-was supposed to bring families together, make them-make them stronger, or something? B-but you didn't tell any of us except for Daddy, a-and we could have lost you. We all could have lost you and never k-known why, or... or got to say goodbye...? H-how do you think that makes me feel? T-that you didn't care? Or w-want to see us again... y-you knew what could happen and you did nothing, nothing because you were too afraid of it. O-of what might happen... y-you were too busy worrying about the 'what-ifs' t-to realize, that 'hey, what if some... something a-awful happened to me and... and I never got to kiss you goodbye? To t-tell my daughters that t-they're my best girls or... or t-that Andrew w-will always be your sunshine?'" The girl gulped, offended, upset, confused.

"Maddie, how...?" Emma could barely speak anymore. She was stunned. She wondered if Maddie was right, if she was right about everything. She gulped and sucked in a cool, unkind breath.

"I-I... I asked Mila. I-I... I made h-her tell me because I knew she, I knew she knew something b-because she'd been acting so strange a-and was always crying. A-and then there was a m-message on the answering machine from some Dr. Lysander woman a-about your recovery, a-and about your next a-appointment to talk about chemotherapy? Y-you honestly thought you were g-going to go all this time with none of us putting the pieces t-together? Y-you honestly thought w-we could ever understand why our own mother l-left us... what if you had never come back? Dad would be t-too much of a mess to d-do anything... what w-would you expect me to say to Andrew? I-I--" she was cut short by the sight of her mother in tears. Maddie realized that her mother was weak, she needed to be strong. Maddie knew that nothing would be the same without the bright light that was her mother. She bit her lip harshly, never wanting to make her mother hurt.

She was only human. And humans made mistakes. But... then she remembered the look on Mila's face, the clear hurt and confusion. What if something had happened, or if they found that the cancer was worse than they thought? Emma hadn't thought of her three children having their mother ripped away, but of her own fright. She could be scared, but couldn't they fear together? Because with all of this going on, who knew how much longer together would last? Maybe she was being immature, but Maddie felt more anger seize every fiber of her being.

"Maddie, I-I... I was scared. Y-you're right, honey, I-I... I should have t-told you, but if it was n-nothing than you shouldn't have t-to be worrying about my problems--"

The anger-- It wasn't towards her poor mother, but at the cancer that was plaguing her. Yet somehow, the harsh words would not stop.

"It wasn't nothing. I-If it had been nothing Mila wouldn't have heard y-you and Dad talking a-about it one night in the kitchen, or gotten so attached to that kid Douglas, a-and totally left me by myself... If you had j-just said something, Mom, anything... t-that would have proved how much you c-cared. Maybe you thought you were being selfless, but you don't always have to play the victim, the martyr, b-because if you do there's going to be no one left to feel sorry for you in the end."

She stormed out of the room, leaving Emma weeping into her hands and herself trembling all over. She did not feel liberated, she did not feel better. She had no idea what she felt, all she could feel was guilt. She knew that she couldn't go back, not yet. She knew she couldn't see her mother and family without feeling ashamed or heartbroken.

Can your heart break if it's already broken? She wondered fitfully, digging her nails into the soft flesh in the heels of her palms. Yes, it can. She knew this to be true all too well.

She had to leave Lima.

She called Jess, who promised reluctantly to meet her outside of their favorite coffee shop as soon as he could. Maddie sat dejected in the cafe, her heart in a million pieces. She knew it wasn't, but if something like that would end up being goodbye to her own mother, she would never forgive herself.

Emma held Will's hand tightly. If that ordeal had been goodbye, she would never forgive herself. In a way, her daughter had been right. Her own children had the right to know about their mommy being sick, they needed to know that every moment had to be cherished, stored away for safekeeping, just in case.

"She'll be fine, honey," Will said, squeezing her hand and pulling her into a sideways hug. It was past three AM and the cold, Lima night air whipped around them. Police cars were parked outside their house and they stood on the porch. Mila was trying to get Andrew to go to sleep inside, but they all knew sleep was a lost cause.

"I hope so," Emma said, letting out her millionth sob into the warmth of her husband's chest. "I... I … she... I..." without her family, Emma could not even form a coherent sentence. She felt her whole body tremble and prickle with goosebumps, but luckily so did Will.

"E-Em?" he managed, feeling the panic attack begin to consume her. He helped bring her to a seated position on the porch and let her head fall between her knees, a trick they'd learned in therapy years ago as a young couple. Moments later, Will found himself holding Emma tightly to him, protecting her from the questions and greater fears as well as the cold night air outside.

"She's going to come home," he whispered, pulling Emma's hair back into a smooth ponytail, a recently-mastered skill. She held onto him tightly and let a tear roll down her cheek, "I hope so."

"I know so, baby," he said, kissing the tear away gently and giving her a leisurely peck across the forehead. He sat with his arm around her, rubbing his palm down the skinny expanse of her exposed arm, trying to stimulate some warmth.

X

"Mr. and Mrs. Schuester?" a the chief police officer in Lima asked them. Will looked up at the familiar voice and helped Emma to stand.

"Mike?" he asked, quickly shaking hands with Mike Chang, his former student. Mike smiled at his former coach and guidance counselor, thankful he got to deliver them the piece of good news.

"Hey Mr. Schue," he said, trying to be cheery as he took a swig of his bitter Dunkin' Doughnuts coffee drink. "We found your daughter. She was in the airport, on her way to Florida with her boyfriend. S-she's over there," he said, pointing at the figure coming towards them.

Mike had never known Emma Schuester to hug anyone, and was therefore shocked when she wrapped him in a tight hug, bursting into happy tears. They slid down her porcelain face and he couldn't help a smile. He lived for the part of his job when he got to help people like the Schuesters, he loved it when he felt like because of him, something good had come of a heinous situation.

It had been hours since anyone had seen Maddie. Even her twin sister had no idea where she had gone after she saw her storming angrily out of McKinley. Mila remembered how she needed some space to calm down, too, and her sister deserved the same. At least Mila had found Douglas.

Douglas had been taking her out to dinner every week, or for walks in the park after school, or just going to his or her house. It was surprising how close they had become in such a short span of time. Mila, though, was beginning to feel more than just friendship for her new friend. She had never really liked a boy, crushed this hard, on a boy before. She wanted Douglas to kiss her, but she knew he was waiting for the right time. Based on the electric currents every time they touched, or the longing look in his amazing blue eyes, or them always sneaking sideways glances at each other, Mila knew Douglas felt what she felt too.

But as her twin sister crossed the lawn, Douglas was the farthest thing from her teenage mind. She had heard the chief officer, Mr. Chang, say that Maddie was finally, finally home. The day had been long and full of tears. Upon hearing this news from snippets of the adult's conversation, Mila stopped rubbing Andrew's back. He was already asleep, his little kid tears and fears dried onto his spaceship -themed bedsheets. She crept away from his room and outside, her bare feet being tickled by the dewy grass.

"Mads!" she cried, throwing her arms around her skinny sister. Maddie's curls were pulled back into a ponytail, and her tank top was lacy underneath her trademark Hollister hoodie. Maddie had goosebumps covering her short-short clad legs, and Mila could see from where she stood that her sister's toes were painted a neon pink. "I was so worried, Maddie, please ne--"

"I know, okay?" Maddie snapped, then her voice grew softer as she felt her sister, her only ally, shrink away from her hug sadly and defeatedly. "Oh, Meals... I-I... I'm so sorry. I was so... confused? I guess... I guess I wasn't actually angry at mom but, b-but..." a tear slipped from Maddie's face, and the teenager felt like it was probably the millionth one that day.

"But at the cancer?" Mila asked, "you were angry that it happened to her, t-to us... and you just started wondering, and talking and... yeah. I've been there, Maddie, we've all been there."

The two sisters hugged so tightly that neither could breathe properly, but neither really cared. They needed each other. Maddie could have Jess and Mila might just end up having Douglas, but they knew that no matter what, they would always have each other. The little rhyme their Gramma Ella told them when they were little entered Maddie's mind just then:

Always together,

Never apart,

Sisters by blood,

Best friends by heart.

Mila smiled into her sister's wild ringlets, knowing that no matter what happened, they could always rely on each other. No matter what happened, from boys to Mom to school to college in the upcoming year, they would always have someone to turn to. Someone just like themselves who would always, always understand, even if it seemed like no one else would, like no one else could.

X

The next morning, everyone slept in late. Everyone, though, except for Emma and Maddie. Emma walked into the kitchen and sat in her chair, listening to the tea kettle humming and feeling the cool touch of the tiles on her bare feet. It was Saturday, it was six AM, but she could care less. Emma hadn't gotten a wink of sleep last night-- as the last of the police officers had left around four thirty. Maddie was home, though, and that's all that mattered.

Emma was stirred from her quiet thoughts by the sound of footsteps behind her. "I didn't mean it," a voice said. "Any of it." Emma whirled around to see her oldest daughter, Maddie, standing barefoot in the kitchen. Her pajamas were mismatched and wrinkled and her hair was pulled messily into a bun. Her usually meticulous eye makeup was smeared everywhere from all the tears she had shed the day previous.

Instead of talking at that second, Emma stepped closer, hugging her daughter close to her. Maddie was taller than her by more than a few inches, but none of it mattered. Maddie loved the feel of her mother's warm fuzzy pink bathrobe against her skin and wished that it would never go away. She was so sorry for what she had said.

"Mom, I--"

"Shh," Emma said to the girl, holding her close. "I know, sweetie, I know," she whispered as Maddie crumpled into her chest crying. "I know how scared you are... I know you didn't mean it," she whispered, grateful to have her daughter back, not only that, but the daughter they all knew and loved rather than the one who had said such harsh things to Emma in her office. "But, Maddie?" she asked, "You were right. I know that really I am the victim, but I don't have to be. I... I need to be strong for you all sometimes, even if it's hard. If I'm always the martyr--"

"No, Mommy, no," Maddie interrupted. "I didn't mean that. I-I... we'll never leave you, you'll always have us. You can be scared, it's alright to be. I wasn't angry with you. I was angry at... at the cancer. I just wanted it to go away, I didn't know why it had to be you who got sick instead of the next guy on the street..."

"It's okay," Emma said. "I'm always going to love you, Madelyn," she whispered as she looked into her baby girl's eyes. Maddie was growing up. She was beautiful on the outside, yes, but the inside was even lovelier. Emma knew better than anyone that underneath all of that tough girl bravado, Maddie was just a sweet little thing who wanted to be loved like everybody else. She was tender and kind, and that's how Emma knew from the second Maddie stormed from her office yesterday that not a word of it was meant. Not a single letter of it. "I forgive you, Honey," she told her daughter. "You're only human... but so am I. Will you... could you ever forgive me for keeping something so important from you?"

"Of course, Mommy," Maddie whispered, sounding more like a toddler than an almost high school graduate. "Of course..."

"Oh, Maddie, I was just so worried--"

"I'll never leave you again," the teen interrupted again, "because I know that no matter what, you'll always be here for me... right?" Emma cringed at how honestly unsure her daughter's voice sounded, at how honest and sincere this all was.

When you took away all of the problems and luxuries and lifestyles away and just left the family, the real thing in it's most minimal state, you would only see the love in its rawest form radiating from each and every member of the Schuester family.

And a love like that was stronger than words, than sickness, than cancer, than all of it.

"Always, baby girl, always," Emma said, wrapping her daughter in a tight hug. She felt like Maddie was a little girl again, snuggling into her arms for a bedtime story or getting ready for kindergarten, and Emma realized that no matter what happened, this was what made it all worth it.

She could-- she would-- never, ever lose this.

"Oh Maddie..." she sighed finally as they still locked, embraced. "What are we going to do with you?"

X

Although their lives would now carry on as normal, the Schuester family would remain forever changed by the experience.

Three months, four days, and six hours later, Emma Pillsbury Schuester was pronounced officially cancer-free and Ohio State Hospital.

Review!

XOXO