a/n - Here it is, the chapter you've been waiting for. I hope it lives up to the anticipation. Thank you for all your reviews, comments, and well wishes. You guys are amazing.
Gibbs didn't acknowledge any of the watching eyes that followed him into the hospital room, his only awareness was of the still figure in the bed. His view from the hallway hadn't prepared him for how close to death Tim looked now.
Gibbs lowered the side rail and carefully sat on the edge of the bed. Without much thought, he noticed and corrected anything that might make his young agent uncomfortable, tugging the wrinkles out of the pillowcase, and straightening the twisted straps of the oxygen mask. "There you go, is that better? The nurses are so busy with the major stuff, they forget about the little things." Gibbs studied McGee's pale face. "Ah, Tim, how in the hell did we get to this point?"
There was no answer, not that he was expecting one. With only two clean fractures, Tim's right arm was in a simple brace and Gibbs wrapped his fingers around the cold hand, rubbing his thumb over the knuckles as he started to speak, letting his mind and words wander over the years Tim had been at his side. "Do you remember the first time we worked together in Norfolk? DiNozzo tricked you into watching the crime scene all night and I went out of my way to intimidate you, but you stuck it out and you didn't back down. Intrigued me enough to pull your jacket when we got back to DC. Saw those degrees, that research you'd done, all that potential that was just sitting there in that little office in Norfolk.
"That first night back in DC, I knew someone was going to have the chance to turn that incredibly green rookie into an agent that was going to go places. I hadn't trained a rookie in a lot of years, and none as green as you were back then, but I couldn't stop thinking about it, about you. Every time our paths crossed you just kept impressing. I never said anything because that's rule number one when you're training someone.
"I slipped up, though, when you identified Ari for me. I remember ruffling your hair like you were my kid and I was so damn proud of you. You knew it too, the grin on your face proved it. That was the night I told Director Morrow that eventually I was going to have you on my team."
---NCIS---
Ron Sacks and Greg Hall had joined Fornell in the waiting room by the time Tony walked Abby and Ziva out of ICU, Jimmy trailing behind them. Ron watched as three of them collapsed into various chairs, while DiNozzo came over to sit next to him. He waited while Tony stared at his hands before he slowly started to talk.
"A lot of things went wrong on a lot of different levels and I don't have the energy to be angry about it anymore."
"I can understand that." Surprisingly, Ron could understand as he stared at the raw pain he saw on the other man's face.
Tony shifted to face Ron, but Ron could tell that he was seeing something else beyond the two of them sitting in the waiting room. "All these years, all the pain he must have been in, and I never saw it. I called myself his friend, but deep down, I never knew him. That's going to be a hard thing to live with. As much as it hurts that it wasn't me that was at his side this last week, I'm grateful that someone was." Finally, Tony looked Ron in the eye. "And I'm glad it was you. Thanks, man."
Ron gave a short nod as he struggled to keep his own voice steady. "I just wish it had been enough. All the work I've done with Greg, I thought I'd gotten pretty good at recognizing this kind of problem, but I never suspected a thing until Greg introduced me to Sarah. Don't beat yourself up about missing the signs, he had a lifetime of training on how to cover them up."
"Doesn't make it any easier." Tony turned his attention back to the door he'd walked through a few minutes earlier.
Ron's eyes followed. "Yeah, man, I know."
---NCIS---
"You were at Headquarters when the air conditioning went out, do you remember that? The IT guys wouldn't finish the upgrade to the system because it was too hot in the building, but you knew how important it was, so you just climbed under the desks and started working. You saw what needed to be done, and you did it. You didn't complain about it being too hot, you didn't worry about making sure the right people saw you working, you just fixed the problem."
Gibbs gave a soft laugh and reached out and traced the edge of Tim's ear, remembering Kate's death grip in it when she dragged him out from under her desk. "Wasn't sure if your ears were going to survive when Kate thought you were under there to look up her skirt, but even that didn't scare you off. The Director and I had been round and round about adding you to the team, because it wasn't set up to be a four person team, but that day I looked up at him and he just nodded. From that moment on, you were mine, Tim, you were mine." Behind them, Sarah continued to watch and learn about her brother's difficult and complicated relationship with his boss.
---NCIS---
Leon and Jackie Vance arrived to a somber group milling around the waiting room. With Jackie behind him, Leon went straight to DiNozzo. "Is there any change?"
"His body is shutting down. The doctors think it will be over soon." Tony was looking at the knot of Vance's tie as he spoke to him.
Ziva joined them, telling the rest. "Sarah let each of us come in for a last visit, Gibbs is in there now."
"Yeah," Tony looked over his shoulder at the closed door to the ICU unit. "If anyone can convince Tim to stay with us, it'll be the Boss."
"Gibbs?"
Tony rubbed the back of his neck as he gave a snort in answer to Vance. "I know, our last hope is the functional mute, but McGee has always come through for Gibbs. I just gotta believe he'll manage one more time."
---NCIS---
Gibbs may be a man of few words, but he did know how to use them when it counted. He was aware that Sarah was leaning forward in her chair, listening, but Tim was his priority. Still holding onto Tim's right hand, he let his other hand trail up from the side of Tim's face as he brushed back a lock of hair. "You looked so impossibly young that first year, I couldn't use your first name. In my head it was Timmy, not Tim, and I knew you would hate that.
"I knew how embarrassed you'd be, so I never told you, but one of your dad's friends, a guy named Marty Campbell, called me that first month you were on the team. Thought it was odd at the time, but you called home on a pretty regular basis; I figured your dad was worried about how we were treating you. Wish he'd told me, given me some sort of hint that something was wrong. He was the first person I tried to track down a few days ago when we realized that something really was wrong, but he died of cancer last year. Was he someone who tried to help you, or was he just one more person that helped your father hide what he was doing?"
Even knowing there would be no answer, Gibbs paused, as if waiting for his agent to speak Finally he shook his head. "You know how I feel about apologies, but like I told Ducky once, sometimes they are necessary. I was distracted and frustrated and the one time you needed my help, I let you down." Gibbs bent down, his face only inches from Tim's. "There is no excuse for my failure, but I am so, so sorry, Tim. I never meant to hurt you and I would never knowingly sacrifice one of my boys for the other."
Tim's next breath was short and uneven as the machines began to beep ominously. "No, Tim, it's not your time yet, son." Gibbs gently tapped as close to the back of Tim's head before moving his hand down to rest on his chest. "Stay with us, Tim. We need you, your sister needs you... I need you." He realized that it had been too long waiting for the next breath and he rubbed hard on Tim's chest, his voice raising as Sarah joined him at Tim's bedside. "Breathe for me, Tim... Tim... McGee, breathe!"
The breath, when it came, was shallow and shaky and the sweetest thing Gibbs had ever heard. "Thank God, oh thank God. Now, another one, Tim, take another breath." The second breath was deeper and stronger and Gibbs pressed on, knowing that somehow, some part of Tim was still within his reach.
"You are, you know, you're one of my boys. Just as much as DiNozzo. I didn't want to interfere with your relationship with your family, so I always kept a step back, but you're mine, too. Breathe, Tim. Deep down, you've always been mine.
"I know that people say that Tony is following in my footsteps, and they're right. He and I are a lot alike and someday he's going to make a fine team leader, but you... Take a breath, Tim. You are my legacy. You are the one that takes what I teach you and uses it as a stepping stone. You're headed for that big office upstairs. That will be the proudest day of my life, Tim, when I get to stand there and watch as you're sworn in. Breathe, Tim.
"I'll let you in on a secret, Tim. Do you remember our trip out to LA? The afternoon that you spent with Eric and all their cool toys, I went shopping. Yeah, me shopping. Take a breath, good boy, that's a nice deep one. Where was I? That's right, I went shopping for a piece of Jobillo wood. You ever heard of it? It reminds me of you. Now I've got a couple of slabs of it drying in my basement, waiting to become a desk set when you move upstairs."
He tapped Tim's chest lightly. "Time for another deep breath... there, that's a good one. I bet you want to know why that wood reminds me of you. When you wake up, I'll tell you all about it."
---NCIS---
Out in the hallway, Ducky and McGee's neurologist watched in amazement as Tim took a breath every time Gibbs prompted him. Ducky was thrilled, Dr. Lo saw another problem. It had been more than three hours since Gibbs had started talking and his voice was getting rougher. "This is all well and good, but how long can he keep it up?"
To Ducky that was an easy answer. "For as long as it takes, Dr. Lo. Jethro Gibbs will do whatever it takes for his people, with his own last breath, he will tell Timothy to breathe."
---NCIS---
Sarah hovered, listening as Gibbs talked to her brother, telling him to breathe, reminding him of how important he was to Gibbs, to the team. She heard details of past cases, heard of her brother's contributions to each of the cases. She realized that even if Gibbs was not one to often compliment his agents, he was acutely aware of all they did. A whispered word to a nurse brought a steaming cup of coffee and Sarah quietly handed it to Gibbs. He took a quick sip and handed the paper cup back in time to rub Tim's chest and remind him to breathe.
It took a few cycles, but they fell into a routine, Sarah tucked against Gibbs, the cup passing back and forth between them. The cases discussed became more recent, both she and Gibbs laughing at Tim's encounter with a smuggled Koala Bear before she listened in awe as Gibbs told of his pride in Somalia. Eventually as night fell, Gibbs' voice broke, but in grief, not exhaustion.
"I don't understand it, Tim. How could a man with everything, waste his life on booze? He had two wonderful, amazing kids, he should have been drunk on pride, not vodka. Breathe for me, Tim. Your father had it all, I would have killed to be in his shoes, but he tossed it all away, tossed the two of you away. So many times I stepped back for him and he didn't deserve it."
Letting the tears come, Sarah buried her face in Gibbs' shoulder as she mourned, not only for the father she had lost but for the father she wished William had been. Understanding, Gibbs kissed the top of her head and rocked her gently as he continued to remind Tim to breathe. If he had not been hyper-aware, he might have missed the slight flexing of the fingers under his hand. "Tim?" He leaned closer, Sarah watching them both carefully. "Tim, you've been sleeping long enough, it's time to wake up now."
Sarah saw his eyes moving slightly under the still swollen lids. "Tim? Timmy, can you hear me?"
"That's it, kiddo, you can do it. Come on, Tim, your sister needs to see you... we all need to see you."
The swelling was too great on one side, but slowly the other eye blinked open. "B'ss... S'rah?
"Oh, Tim." Sarah had just a moment with her brother before the room filled with medical personnel, forcing them back from the bed. She wasn't sure if Gibbs was holding her up or if she was holding him up, but she didn't care as she watched Tim become more and more aware of his surroundings.
---NCIS---
Tony had decided that sitting in a waiting room, waiting for your best friend to die was harder and more exhausting than any case he'd ever been on, but despite the weariness he was the first one to register when Ducky came through the door, a stunned expression on his face. "Is it over? Is he gone?" Try as he might, he couldn't keep the tremor out of his voice.
It took Ducky a moment to form the words, giving them all time to awaken and turn to him. "No, he's not gone, he's... he's awake."
Amidst the tearful laughing and cheering, Tony turned to Vance. "I knew it. Tim always comes through for the Boss. I knew it."
