Hep hep hep. Saaaaaave it.
I know, I know. It's almost been a month since my update and I promised at most two weeks but…sue me. Hehe. I had a lot going on. Well, during the last week, I guess I just got too carried away with my break. But here I am! With a new chapter. Hehe.
A warning though. This is definitely not a funny chapter. Sorry. Please bear with my serious chapters for a while. It's a must. D:
Anyway, I still do hope you enjoy it.
~(*o*)~(*o*)~(*o*)~
Of Farewells and Trust
"And we have confirmed the suspect."
A pin-drop. Bated breaths. Tension. Silence.
Everyone's eyes were glued strongly to the Emperor, waiting for him to utter the criminal's name. But he stood there rigidly, his eyes boring deeply into Mikan's. She clutched the sheets tightly; she thought they would tear. An uneasy feeling settled in her gut, growing each second. Everyone knew the name that would escape the Emperor's mouth.
But for some reason, fear crept under Mikan's skin. She knows there would be a surprise. She can feel it. The way the Emperor is looking at her, it's almost as if…
He shook his head and sat down on the nearest empty couch, his forehead nestled in his hands. He sighed loudly and looked around him. Can he betray all of these hopeful faces? He frowned. The answer was simple. He can't.
But he has to. For the promise he kept with his mother and for the love of all that's good. Everything will be all right soon, he promised himself. Everything is just a part of the bigger picture. Before a rainbow appears, there shall always be rain.
He swallowed. "This will be shocking and I will be expecting a lot of violent reactions. But before I reveal the suspect, you must promise me that you will hear the evidences until the end and honor them. There is no mistake made. We have thoroughly observed and analyzed everything. After this little meeting, everyone is to pack his or her belongings and prepare to leave for the Palace where everything will be settled. Understand?"
All heads started to nod slowly.
"The suspect," Ruka said hastily, fiddling with his fingers. "Is the suspect inside the room?" he asked.
Everyone was obviously thinking of the same thing as they all looked at the elder expectantly. Truthfully, they were expecting the Emperor to shake his head and say that he or she had already been captured and taken into custody. It would be the most logical assumption wouldn't it?
After all, why would they let a murderer roam around freely, mingling with the other Royals when he or she can kill them easily? That would be insane.
But the Emperor nodded as chatters erupted all over the room. It's impossible. Everyone craned their necks to see if Luna had sneaked in the room somehow but found nothing. She wasn't there.
They shot each other panicked looks. It was unbelievable that somebody they knew almost all their lives would be capable of such heinous crime. There must be something wrong.
"Silence!" The Emperor called for the second time that day. His face was awfully grim. "The ex-Empress was poisoned, as I have told you. There must have been some conspiracy between the ladies-in-waiting and the culprit for the poison to pass through the alarms. It was presumed that it was mixed with her food during lunch, which led Mother to stay-in the whole afternoon and miss dinner. Thus, we have limited the possible suspects to those who went missing within the time period of eleven o'clock to two o'clock. And I know that all of you have ideas regarding this matter." He said as his eyes travelled consciously to Mikan who looked extremely shaken and pale.
"Father!" Natsume shouted. "You can't be suggesting that Mikan did it. Are you out of your stupid mind?"
For a moment, everyone thought that the Emperor would chide his son for his impertinent behavior, having set his mouth in a tight line, but he relaxed. He breathed. "Truthfully, there are three possible suspects: you, Mikan-chan and Koizumi-san." He finished, his eyes trained on his son who turned to rock, still glaring at his father.
"You're crazy." Natsume spat.
"But the culprit was determined through this," a clear vial inside a zip-lock bag was shown. "Of course, before pouring the poison into the ex-Empress' food, it has to be contained somewhere and the culprit cannot dispose of it that easily. It is even a wonder that she held onto it even after using its contents. We found this in her clothing."
She not he, Mikan thought in panic. He's talking about her. Her mind started to spin but she held on, clutching the blanket tighter that her knuckles turned white.
"We have also found the lady-in-waiting who has conspired with the culprit and out of fear told us her name." Mikan found herself looking at the Emperor who was looking at her with a pained expression.
"It was you, Mikan-chan."
~(*o*)~(*o*)~(*o*)~
"It's gonna be alright,"
Mikan looked up to see a pair of crimson orbs flaming with determination and then settled her sight to her hands in Natsume's. His kindness pains her.
She smiled.
"How can you say that? Or touch me?" the brunette said as she pulled her hands away from her fiancé's. "I'm a murderer." She whispered. "I murdered your grandmother."
Natsume cursed. "You know that's not true!"
Mikan flinched as she looked away. She didn't complain – not a single protest – when she heard her name. She just sat there, on the bed, frozen. She knows that she wasn't the murderer. She can never do anything as cruel as that but she can't deny it.
She doesn't know anything.
She's missing some of her memories. What if that missing part of her life is when she committed that crime? And the reason why she wanted to see the ex-Empress so early in the morning is to ensure that she really killed her? What if…?
She started to tremble. That's when firm hands held her shoulders and spun her around to face him. The brunette stared down.
"Look at me," she heard Natsume say. She didn't comply – or rather, she can't. She afraid of what she would see. Anger? Disgust? Contempt? She can't bear seeing the people she cares for look at her like that. "I said look at me, Mikan."
Carefully, she raised her face to look at him, her eyes closed.
"Open your eyes, idiot." He demanded, still holding her. Mikan just shut them tighter. "Open your eyes or I'll kiss you, damn it."
That did the trick. Mikan looked at him, her eyebrows tightly knitted together, a frown on her face. She looks gaunt which pains Natsume. Rashly, he picked up a piece of the French toast and shoved it in her mouth, shutting her complaints.
"Eat." He ordered. "You haven't eaten anything since yesterday."
She complied silently. They're currently in a specialized airplane due to the circumstances. Actually, Mikan was supposed to travel alone together with the Palace knights but Natsume insisted on going with her despite the strong denial of the Emperor. Eventually, he gave in, with the condition that more guards will be issued.
Natsume didn't care. He just wanted to be with Mikan. Just a little more time.
"Why are you here?" Mikan whispered quietly as she stared at the last bit of her toast.
Natsume crossed his arms and looked away. "Why shouldn't I be? I'm your fiancé."
The brunette laughed. "I'm a murderer, Natsume. I can kill you right now."
The guards stirred. The raven-haired prince waved them away. He gritted his teeth in frustration. "You can't even kill a fly, idiot. Who are you kidding?"
Mikan continued to smile. "I'll be gone long, Natsume."
"No, you won't." his voice cracked.
The brunette breathed in deeply. "I'm going to jail – "
"Mikan," he pleaded.
"-possibly for ten years or more. You'll marry someone else, have lots of Royal babies – "
"Mikan, please,"
" – live happily, rule Japan." She looked at him. He looked like he was about to cry. She held his hands in hers. "Then you'll forget all about me."
He pulled away only to capture her face in his hands. His thumbs brushed her cheeks softly as she shut her eyes and savored the sensation. He neared his face to hers, their foreheads kissing.
"I'm going to save you. You're gonna go out of jail. I promise, Mikan." He whispered as tears rolled down the brunette's cheeks, wetting his thumbs. "I promise."
"Don't." Mikan breathed. "Don't give me false hope." She smiled. "I'll be okay. I'll be fine. You'll be fine, Natsume. You can't help me. I don't remember anything."
"I'll make you remember. You can't leave me, Mikan. I told you didn't I? 'I'd chase after you and bring you back.'"
Mikan laughed softly. "What would you do to chase me?" she asked. "Kill your dog? Go to the jail with me? Natsume, let's face it. You can't."
Natsume frowned in agitation. "Why are you giving up so easily?! This isn't like you at all! I'll fight for both of us if it's what it take to bring you back! I know that you didn't kill Grandma, okay? I believe in you. We all believe in you. It's about time you do, too." He breathed.
Mikan didn't say anything. She can't. She simply cried and hugged Natsume – hugged him tightly, afraid that he'd disappear. She wanted to believe that it would be alright. That it's all a nightmare and she'd wake up soon. She wanted to believe that she was in a fairytale and that she'll have her happy ending soon.
But Mikan knows that believing doesn't always work the same way…
…because sometimes, believing also means fooling yourself and falling a bit higher from your foolish expectations and ending up hurt.
More hurt than when you didn't blindly believe.
~(*o*)~(*o*)~(*o*)~
Hotaru was furious.
The moment the car arrived in the Royal Palace, she rushed to the Emperor's room with the speed of lightning, entering with a big bang – literally, as she opened the grand doors loudly.
"What is the meaning of this?!" she growled as she slammed her hands on the Emperor's desk.
"Hotaru-chan…" the Empress tried to console the pruple-eyed lass as she touched her shoulder. "Calm down and sit," she said.
Hotaru looked around and saw a couple more faces in the room – none of them surprised her. Her mother was there, so was her Aunt Miyabi and Aunt Lisette, her brother and his friends, Sakurano and Tonoiuchi.
"Uncle! You're not serious." She seethed. "You know Mikan's not the murderer!"
The Emperor still sat on his chair whose back faces the people in the room. Hotaru felt her brother hold her shoulders and lead her to the nearby chair. She knows that he won't be in her side of the argument.
"Calm down, Hotaru. This isn't like you at all." He said coolly.
That just made the Ice princess boil more. She whipped her head towards her brother's direction. "Your best friend was just accused as a murderer and is now probably going to be taken to the jail, be hated by the whole nation – and you still wonder why I don't act like me at all?! Stop being such an idiot, Nii-sama."
Subaru simply sighed and looked at the Emperor. "Uncle, don't you think it's about time you clear things up to my sister?"
"I told you what I heard and saw. You know that Luna's behind Grandma's incident. I did what you told me and agreed to cooperate with your plan. Don't you think it's about time you let me out of the dark?" Hotaru spat angrily.
"Hotaru," she heard her mom say. She ignored her.
"You can't make Mikan take all the blame!"
Finally, the chair spun, revealing the Emperor who looked as though he aged a decade. His eye bags grew deeper and more pronounced, gray strands littered across his scalp and a few wrinkles started to show all over his handsome face.
"I know what I'm doing, Hotaru. Trust me on this. This is for the better."
Hotaru scoffed. "For the better of what? Clearly, not of Mikan's."
She watched as the Emperor flashed a look of pain. She knew she struck a nerve. "Success takes a lot of sacrifices. It was a hard decision to make, Hotaru. You should understand."
She glared at him. "Mikan doesn't deserve this – nor does your son."
"No one deserves this," the Emperor agreed, looking grave. "But for the sake of the future generations and of the whole country, Hotaru, we need to make drastic decisions. Please try to understand."
Hotaru set a hard stare on the old man. "But Mikan…" she trailed off.
She was pretty sure that her uncle already understood what she wanted to convey and that she would simply be wasting her saliva trying to explain her point.
"Dear," the youngest Imai looked over to her Aunt Kaoru as she spoke, a worried expression sketched on her lovely face. "I do think that fate has been too cruel on Mikan-chan. She did absolutely nothing to deserve this. Couldn't you at least…make this easier for her?" she asked kindly.
This time, it was Hotaru's Aunt Camille who moved. "I agree, Io-chan." She said in her heavily accented Japanese. "Your and Mother's plan might be good but I don't think Mikan-chan should be too entangled with it. She's a good kid. Besides, Natchan…"
Ring! Ring! Ring!
"Sorry," Sakurano excused himself as he exited the room to answer his call.
Everyone fell silent during his absence. Hotaru simply accommodated herself and looked at the Emperor darkly. He positioned himself so that his nested fingers are supporting his chin. Hotaru can tell that he was thinking about the issue seriously, weighing both sides.
Finally, Sakurano reentered the room and feigned a cough to capture everyone's attention. "Tennou-sama," he called the Emperor with reverence. "Uncle just called me and asked that Mikan-chan be spared from the media. Of course, we understand that this incident must be broadcasted and it will be inevitable that the mass will ask of the murderer's identity – "
"I agree," Miyabi replied. "Mikan-chan might undergo trauma and receive so much hate. She will be hated by her own people. Io-chan, you must do something about this. You cannot subject Mikan-chan to such suffering."
Hotaru heard her uncle breathe in deeply. "But it will be too suspicious to simply let her go. And as you said, the mass will be asking of the culprit's identity. What do we tell them, then?"
"That, Tennou-sama," Sakurano answered again. "Uncle has a proposition. "
~(*o*)~(*o*)~(*o*)~
"Natsume!" Mikan gasped. She sat up and looked around her. She was in her room.
Slowly, she dangled her legs over the side of her bed and stood up. She was still wearing the clothes she wore on their flight back to the Palace. But how did she get inside? The last thing she remembers was crying in Natsume's arms in the jet plane.
He must have carried her. The brunette released a shaky breath.
Slowly, she walked to her door and pulled – tried to pull. It won't budge. She was locked inside. Was she on room arrest? She laughed silently.
Now what was she going to do? She scanned her surroundings as small doses of loneliness invaded her system. She can't help but feel so desolate. She didn't even get to speak to the others. What do they think of her now?
Well, at least Natsume still cares for her. Mikan walked back to her bed and sat. That's when she noticed the piles of different colored papers on her nightstand. Gingerly, she picked them up and spread them on her bed.
They were envelopes. No, letters.
With a fluttering heart like a humming bird, she picked the silver one and looked at the details.
From: Youichi Hijiri
To: Ugly Mikan
The brunette smiled at the name. With her shaky fingers, she opened the envelope carefully and read his letter.
Hey, ugly idiot. I bet you're sulking somewhere in your room now. Based on how stupid you are, you also probably think that we hate you. IDIOT! You should believe in us more. We know that you're not Grandma's murderer. M-O-R-O-N. Don't worry.
Ore-sama will get you out of there.
This time, Mikan really did laugh. That letter was so like Youichi.
Self-centered brat, she chuckled. Using ore-sama, huh?
She picked the midnight blue next.
From: Tsubasa Andou
To: Mikan-chan [insert heart here]
Mikan-channnn! Hi. Hehe. I'm not really good with these things. Ummm…ah! That's it. Don't be afraid, Mikan-chan! We're always here for you – no. Even if the others might leave you, I will be here for you. I won't leave you. So…you should cheer up soon okay?
PS: I already miss you. Everything will be fine!
Mikan beamed at the letter. It feels as though one by one, the thorns that have impaled themselves in her throat are starting to disappear. She picked the red one next.
From: Hyuga Aoi
To: Mikan-nee
A-ano…Mikan-nee. It's Aoi. I – ah…want to tell you that I believe in you. You wouldn't do that to Grandma, right? Mikan-nee is a really kind and gentle person. So…please don't cry. Aoi will really be sad if you cry. I love your smile. Please smile, Mikan-nee.
Everything will be alright.
Mikan smiled as tears rolled down her cheeks. She can't bear so much love. She didn't deserve this. And yet, she picked another one – a light blue one.
From: Ruka Nogi
To: Yukihira-san
Yukihira, don't cry. Natsume will always be there for you. We all will be. We don't care what others say about you because you're Mikan-chan. We know you better than them and we won't let them destroy our image of you. Always remember that.
And…I don't really know if everything will be okay but. Just trust us.
Then she picked the pink one.
From: Misaki Harada
To: Mikan-chan
Mikan-chan. Stay strong! This is just another problem. Don't let it crush you. Everything will pass. This too, shall pass so don't fret. Just smile okay? And don't blame yourself, Mikan-chan. We know you didn't do it. You can never do something like that. Just as we believe in you, also believe in us.
Fight on, Mikan-chan!
And lastly, the purple one. She knows it must be from Hotaru. It must be.
From: Hotaru Imai
To: BAKA
Baka.
Hang in there.
Mikan flipped the card over and over, inspecting every corner and space of it. Nothing. It just contained those four words. 'Baka. Hang in there.' But that was the best message she received.
Hotaru didn't tell her that everything will be alright or offered any concrete hope. She just knew that she'd be there for her. Hang in there, she said. And Baka probably tells her that she shouldn't be such an idiot during times like this.
Mikan smiled.
And now, it's her turn to write a letter. Not to everyone, of course, since they probably won't allow it. Instead, she's ready to write her final letter.
To Natsume.
~(*o*)~(*o*)~(*o*)~
December 22, 20XX
Dear Natsume,
A lot has already happened since my last letter. I can't believe that it went by too fast. Too quick. I didn't expect any of these. I thought we would have five more days together but they were cut too short to two.
The quiet desertion that I was planning also backfired. Look at me now, being called a murderer. This was far from what I wanted. But I can't do anything now. This is my fate, Natsume. It's true. I know that I didn't kill your grandmother but something tells me that this must happen.
It's unfair. But it's just.
I want you to know that as I write this, I am smiling. What happened to us was like a dream. I knew that it would disappear as easily as it had come. Meeting you just appeared out of the blue and I understand that our farewells must come just so. It's the most wonderful month of my life.
I never regretted anything. I am glad that I met you and I am glad that I became a part of your life. Perhaps, just like I told you, you'll be marrying someone else. No, not Luna. I won't let that happen. But you'll marry. You'll have a wonderful bride – have babies, rule Japan. I'd be proud to see you on the throne, knowing that the man ruling my country is a noble one.
After some years, you really might forget me. And I have a feeling that I will be going somewhere far. And I won't be coming back. But I want you to remember that wherever I am, I will never, ever, forget you.
Never.
Natsume, thank you for everything – for always staying by my side and believing in me and for letting me feel all the love that I don't think I'll ever deserve. I'll definitely miss you.
Love,
Mikan
~(*o*)~(*o*)~(*o*)~
Aww. So. Uh. How was it? D: How did you find this chapter?
Btw, Tennou-sama means Emperor in Japanese, for those wondering. And, I didn't include Luna in this chapter because…uh…I don't think she's that necessary. Haha. So, what do you think about the Emperor and the ex-Empress' plans? Any wild guesses? :D
I do hope I surprise and pique you interests. Haha. Please wait for the next chapter! I'll clear everything out then – maybe. ;D
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