Chapter 28 Torture

After months in the hospital Raven was finally allowed to go home. She had been through countless operations to save her life but at the end of the day, Raven wasn't sure she wanted her life saved. Cody was right, that night was with her forever and at night she still dreamt about it. When she closed her eyes, Cody and Ted was who she saw and she always crashed to reality with her silent screams. She still couldn't speak, she just couldn't do it. There was no point talking anymore. It did no good. Due to what happened Shawn was given as much time off as he needed to be with his girls. Iziah seemed to bounce back almost instantly, she was smiling and happy. Her leg was still bound but she was pretty much her usual self. Shawn figured that it was a cover, she wanted to be strong for her sister. Iziah limped downstairs on a bright sunny afternoon to grab a snack and share polite conversation with her father.

"Hey hows your sister?"

"Still at the panio" Iziah answered. Since being home Raven had only studied, played mega-drive and the panio. She just lost interest in everything else.

"And hows Jamie?"

"Can't remember a thing about what happened and still doesn't know why Raven is sad and I don't think we should tell her. On the plus side her project is almost finished so I can give her this" Iziah held up a trophy she had made. Since Jamie was pulled from school her hopes of winning the trophy was lost but Iziah had somehow managed to convince her father to let John and Jamie still work on it. It made Jamie happy to work on her country.

"I'm glad that boy has one loud mouth"

"Tell me about it" Iziah laughed "Anyways I must admit John has been very caring towards Jamie. Apparently a kid at school said one little remark about Jamie and he lost it. John was suspended for a week for his defence of Jamie"

Shawn chose to ignore that statement, it was best he did. Looking at Iziah he patted her hand "And how are you?"

"I'm good"

"Really?"

Iziah shrugged painfully "I'm not gonna get over what he did but I've learnt to embrace it. He can haunt me all he wants but I ain't letting that fucker control me anymore. I'm the boss of me, not him"

"Do you think Raven will ever get there?"

Iziah let out a little sigh "She will eventually but at the moment she's gotta go through the stages. All we can do is be there for her"

Raven walked through the kitchen door and went straight to the fridge.

"Are you ok Raven?" Shawn asked softly. Raven just looked at him obviously.

"Yeah I know stupid question but still"

Raven just reverted to sign language, it was her only form of communication now. Iziah was the translator most of the time.

"She said she's fine"

"Are you hungry?"

Raven shook her head pulling out a yoghurt. But I gotta eat right?

"Thats right Raven, you do have to eat."

"Raven I want you to know that I'm proud of you." Shawn started gently, Raven looked at him intently. "You survived what most girls couldn't"

Raven flung her hands around madly before stalking back to the panio. Iziah let out a low whistle.

"What? What did she say?"

"She said she wished she didn't survive. She wanted to die"

Raven slid back to the panio seat, she had devoured her yoghurt in a flash. She steadied her fingers on the keys ready to play. The sounds of Fur Elise comforted her, the soothing tune bought her more solitude than anything. Iziah slid on the seat next to her, heart broken at the way her sister was.

"Raven I'm sorry I let this happen to you"

Raven shook her head, she didn't blame Iziah. She only blamed herself. She should of been stronger than she was.

"Look I know this is the last thing you wanna hear but I know what your going through, I really do you know that. Just don't shut us out Raven, we only want to help. I know right now you just want to die but trust me its not worth it. You know what the best part is? Rubbing it in their faces that you survived. Sure you have the markings but your stronger than any scars you have. Don't let them win Raven because we both know thats not what the old you would do. The old you would stand up and gloat that your still in one peice. Like remember that time that three of them beat you down and you stood up and asked for more? You wouldn't let them win even though you were in hospital for weeks on end. You still showed them you were boss"

Raven smiled sadly at her sister finally reaching for her hand. Iziah pulled her into her arms and just held her.

"We're all here for you Raven. Just don't forget that"

Thank you

"Iziah!" Shawn shouted from upstairs "Get down here!"

"Wonder what I did this time" Iziah giggled making an old Raven-like smile come out.

Iziah got downstairs to find Randy standing at the front door. She hadn't seen him in months and it just made Iziah think that he didn't mean a word of what he said at the hospital.

"Friend or foe?" Shawn asked ready to superkick him. Another unconsious teenager wouldn't make a difference to him.

"Friend" Iziah said tightly "She's busy"

"Please just let me see her" Randy asked, almost pleading.

"Tell me why I ain't seen you for months Randy and I'll see" Iziah said leaning on her crutches waiting for his pathetic excuse.

"I wanted to give her time to breathe plus I didn't think she would want me around"

"Ok that is pretty good" Iziah conceeded, he was trying to put her sister first. "Alright come with me. I'll take you too her"

Randy followed Iziah glad to be away from Shawn through to the room with the panio. He didn't go in straight away, he just lent against the door frame and listened to her play. Like almost everything else she did, it was flawless.

"Touch her and I'll rip you a new one" Iziah warned as Randy finally sat down beside her. Iziah felt a little better seeing her sister's eyes light up. She missed Randy despite what she had been through.

"It sounds beautiful Raven"

She smiled a real smile as she began to play again. For the next half hour Randy sat with her listening to her play. After a while he had to go home but he had already made a life long promise. Ted and Cody would never again see the light of day.