Disclaimer: Ok, some people asked me who Connor was. Connor is first mentioned in Chapter 13 I believe. The movie in the park chapter as a flashback.
~*~
Hearing a knock at the front door, Bella opens the front door to see a blonde haired man with hazel eyes. "Christopher?" Pausing trying to find the words to think, "How did you-why-what are you doing here?"
Lifting a bouquet of lilies to her, he shrugs. "He told me once they were your favorite. I was hoping that maybe we could talk."
Nodding her head, she opens the door enough for him to come in. "This way." Leading him to the kitchen she motions to the table while searching for a vase. Placing the flowers in the vase she moves to the table. "Well, start talking."
"I wanted to apologize for what I said to you. I didn't know you were undercover. I know, it's no excuse but I was upset."
Nodding her head, "You're right, it's not an excuse but I accept your apology. How did you find me?"
"It was a little difficult since you weren't listed but I still had a contact at the Navy. They gave me the information."
"So, you were spying on me? Gee, isn't that comforting."
He sighs rubbing his hand through his hair, "It's not like that. I just-It's been so long since I saw you last and I wanted to talk to you. See how you were doing."
"As you can see I'm fine Christopher. I own my home and I'm a federal agent. Is there anything else?" Getting up from the table she crossed her arms.
"Bella, why are you acting like this? I just want to talk to you."
Anger and spite flashed in her eyes. "The last time I saw you was at your brothers funeral and you weren't interested in talking then, what changed your mind? Guilty conscience?"
The sound of her front door opening and closing grabbed both of their attentions. Tim was here. Perfect.
Walking into the kitchen, Tim immediately sees the man and his eyes narrow. "Who are you and how did you get this address?"
Stepping forward placing her hand lightly on his arm, "Tim I would like to introduce you to Christopher Abshire. Chris, this is Timothy McGee. He's a federal agent too."
Tim's gaze turns to Bella, "What is he doing here?"
"Chris came to apologize for the stunt he pulled while we were undercover." Gazing up at Tim she gently squeezes his hand, "Could you give us a few minutes?"
Nodding, Tim slipped from the kitchen into the living room where he could still see her incase something went wrong. Christopher watchs the exchange, waiting for him to leave. "Boyfriend?"
A small smile graces her face at the question. "Yea. We've been dating for a while now."
"Your uncle hasn't gotten to him yet?"
She laughs lightly, "He approves."
Christopher's eyes dart to the living room where he knew Tim waited. "Does he know? About Connor?"
"No, not yet. It's not exactly the easiest conversation to bring up."
Christopher rises, placing his hand on her upper arm. "I'm happy for you Bella and Connor would be too." Handing her a disc from inside his coat, "I found this in one of his boxes. I thought you might want to have it."
Staring at the disc in her hand before she stares at him, "What is it?"
"I don't know, I didn't watch it. But it has your name on it. If you need anything Bella, I'm here for you. You know how to find me." Giving her a light kiss on her cheek, he turned and walked out the door.
Seeing the exchange and the silent Bella, Tim joined her side. "What did he say to you? What is that? Bella who was that guy?"
"His name is Christopher Abshire. I knew him a long, long time ago." Sighing to herself she looks at Tim, "Tim, we need to talk."
~*~
Finished with her story, she quietly watched Tim take in everything that she told him over the past hour and a half.
"So let me get this straight, you were engaged to Connor Abshire, Christopher's younger brother?"
Bella swipes a tear off her cheek, and nods, "Yes." She watches Tim's face, and hesitantly grabs his hand, and he pulls away from her, not looking her in the eye. "Tim, tell me what you're thinking, please?"
"Bella this is a lot to process. I'm-I'm going to go think. I'll talk to you later ok?"
Nodding, she watched as he got up and walked out her front door. A part of her knew he needed space to think, but she couldn't help feeling that he wouldn't come back.
~*~
Gibbs opened his front door to see a very upset McGee. "Tim, what's going on? Is Bella ok?"
"Yea, she's fine Boss. Could I talk to you?"
"Come on in." Following Gibbs into the living room, Tim lowers himself on to the couch as Gibbs sits in a chair. "What's on your mind?"
"Connor Abshire."
She told him. Gibbs watches him, "And?"
"And?! What do you mean by and?"
Gibbs sighs as he looks at the man across from him. "I'm shocked she told you.
"What, so she wasn't going to tell me?"
Oh, this was not going to be easy. "It's a hard subject for her. I don't think she's even told Abby about him."
"So that's supposed to make me feel better?" Tim scoffs at Gibbs remark.
"He was her first love Tim. Losing him like she did ripped her apart. She mourned for him for years before she even began to think about dating. When she did date, it never lasted more then 2 ½ months until you came into her life."
Tim shakes his head, "We talk about everything, Boss, but I never imagined she was keeping something this big to herself."
"You asked her who he was and she told you. You're the first person she's trusted with this information; she's trying to let you in, but she doesn't know how." Stopping he looks Tim in the eyes, "You were mad at her because she didn't tell you she was my niece. Now, she's telling you about Connor and you're upset because she told you about him. You can't have it both ways McGee."
"I know that Gibbs. I just don't know how to deal with this. Do I ask her questions about him? Do I just forget that she told me about him? I don't know what to do about this. It's not a problem that I can solve with a hug or a kiss, this is someone she was going to spend the rest of her life with, how do I compete with that?"
"I don't know, McGee, but I do know that she truly cares for you. The rest will just fall into place."
~*~
She's sitting on couch for who knows how long. She's been staring at the disc on her coffee table, debating what to do with it. Finally, she stands and picks it up, she fires up her laptop and puts the disc in the CD-ROM drive. Selecting the proper action, the media player opens, and Connor's face appears on the screen.
"Hey, Bells. I made this disc for you, and for us. I hope everyone that is watching this can feel how I feel while looking at these photos. I love you, Bella, and I can't wait until you're my wife."
Bella's eyes are filled with tears, listening to him speak. Hearing his voice for the first time in five years she can't believe that she forgot what he sounded like. She always thought she held onto his voice, but hearing him speak once again, she realizes that she was wrong.
As the background song begins to play, I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing, she has to smile, the song bringing back many memories. Connor proposed to her while this song was playing, and even told her that he didn't want to miss a thing, and that this song said everything he felt towards her.
Photo's of when they first started dating show up, and then there are a few with her Uncle in them. Every photo that was ever taken with them being the center of the camera, being goofballs, just being in love, every picture she has hidden away is flashing before her eyes.
She's so engrossed in the photos she doesn't hear her front door open, or her name being said. She only knows that someone is there when a hand is placed on her shoulder, turning her head she sees Tim drop to his knees beside her. He wipes her tears away, and she falls into his arms.
"I miss him, Tim, so much."
Holding her tightly against him, his anger and frustration faded at the sound of her sobs. "I know, love. I know. Everything is going to be fine. I'm here for you. I'm not going anywhere, I promise."
~*~
(A few days later)
Being the weekend, Abby randomly stopped by Bella's house to see what her favorite new agent was up to. After little conning on Bella's part, Abby was staying for dinner and Mark had gotten invited. Tim got stuck with the job of cleaning the barbeque.
"Hey Bella, do you mind if I use your laptop? I saw it by the couch in the living room."
Not thinking completely Bella nods, "Yea, go ahead Abby."
Plopping down on the couch, Abby turns the computer on noticing the laptop was informing her that a disc was still in the cd drive. Curiosity getting the best of her, Abby starts the disc to see a man's face she didn't recognize talking about him and Bella getting married before various pictures of a younger Bella flash across the screen. "Bella."
Bella walks in drying her hands in a towel, "Yea Abs?"
Abby glances at the computer screen before looking up at her, "Who is this?" Abby sees her freeze momentarily.
"I forgot that was still in there." She whispers barely loud enough for Abby to hear. Cautiously sitting down on the couch, Bella catches a glimpse before looking away. "He was my fiancé. He died five years ago in a bombing. His whole team died."
"Oh Bella, I'm so sorry. Does Tim know?"
"He does now. I told him a couple nights ago."
"How'd he take it?"
"He left for a while but he came back." A few tears slid down her face as she sniffled, before giving Abby a small smile. "He took it better then I thought he would actually."
Enveloping her in a hug, Abby watched the video clip before looking at Bella again. "If you could change it, would you?"
"What do you mean Abby?"
"If you could go back and save him, would you?"
Would she? At one point Connor was her world, she loved him more then life itself and a part of her always would but Tim was all that mattered now. He was the one who taught her how to open up and let go. Seeing these pictures of her and Connor didn't hurt as much as she thought they would. It was the thought that Tim may not come back that had upset her the most.
Shaking her head no, she looks at the computer screen. "No. I loved him Abby, I really did but Connor's death made me who I am today. I will always love him." She smiles as she looks at the Goth, "I don't know if we'll stay together but Tim is my life now. I wouldn't change that for the world."
Unbeknownst to Bella, Tim was standing against the hallway way listening to their conversation. Abby had asked the question that he had secretly been asking himself for days. Hearing Bella's answer, he smiled to himself before quietly walking to the back deck and slipping back outside.
~*~
Bella stands in the back yard of her home, watching as Abby plays happily with Jethro. She'd throw a tennis ball, and he would retrieve it, just so she could throw it again.
Watching from their place on the porch, Mark watches Abby smile and squeal in delight at the animal, and turns his attention to Tim, who is eyeing Bella. "What's on your mind, Tim?"
"Nothing really, just thinking I never knew how much she'd been through, and I am still trying to figure out why she chose me to mend her heart," he explains, taking a sip of his wine.
Mark looks over at Bella, noticing that the spark in her eyes isn't as apparent as they were the last time they were all together, "What do you mean, Tim?"
"Something happened in her past, it was awful and she was trying to mend her own way with no help from anyone, accept Gibbs, and here we are, four months into a relationship, and I am learning possibly the biggest secret of her past. She's amazing, and I don't know why she chose me."
Mark nods to himself, contemplating what Tim just said, "Ex-Boyfriend?"
"Fiancé. Died in the line of duty."
Mark winces, "Ouch." Glancing over at Tim, Mark leans against the railing looking back at Abby while he spoke. " Losing a loved one is never easy, especially one that knows who you are inside and out. Look at it this way, this guy was like her second half right? Imagine having that ripped away from you in an instant: the pain of losing them, the feeling of betrayal, confusion, anger, all of it all at once. Considering what Abby has shared about her uncle and the few times I've seen him, things like that are kept to themselves, hidden behind a wall. For whatever reason, you broke the wall."
Looking at Bella during Mark's description, he thought back on his car accident when he thought Bella had been hurt even though they weren't dating then. She must have been in so much pain. Realizing then what Gibbs meant the other night saying he was surprised she talked about it, his respect and love for her grew. Glancing back at Mark, "What made you so insightful?"
"Psychology major."
Somehow Abby dating a shrink didn't sound right. Desperately racking his brain and coming up empty Tim turns to Mark, "What is it you do again?
Mark smirks, "Special Effects coordinator. I pretty much get to blow things up for science." Seeing the confused look on Tim's face Mark laughs, "Almost the same look my parents had too."
~*~
After waving Abby and Mark off sometime after dinner, Tim found Bella curled up on her couch listening to her favorite Elvis cd. Knowing she only listened to that when she had something on her mind, he sat next to her, gently pulling her onto his lap.
Laying her head against his chest, the closeness calming her overactive mind. Since he found out about Connor, he had been slightly distant; not staying over, unsure how to act as if he expected her to have a mental breakdown. She didn't blame him she was just lonely.
Running his fingers up and down her back, he lightly nudges the top of her forehead with his, "Want some company tonight?"
"Depends. Are you referring to yourself or Jethro?"
"I was thinking me but I'm sure Jethro wouldn't mind staying either."
A smile evident in her voice, "Good." Pausing momentarily having a debate in her head, "it's been lonely without you Tim."
Intertwining his fingers with hers, his places a kiss by her ear. "If it's alright with you, I would love to make it up to you."
Grinning to herself she pauses for a dramatic effect, "Well, you would have to ask Jethro first. After all, he has to share his side of the bed."
Chuckling softly at her, he gives her a kiss below her ear on her neck. Feeling her shiver at his kiss, he tactically places several more along her neck; each receiving the same desired effect. "I think you mean my side of the bed."
"Depends. You going to do that again if I agree?" she asks in a low whisper, not completely trusting her voice.
"Depends." He replies knowing it'll drive her crazy. Bracing himself mentally for what he's about to do, he whispers to her, "I love you Bells."
Completely surprised she momentarily forgets to breathe. He said he loved her. Smiling to herself she nuzzles her face into his neck. Feeling his fingers softly slide down her arm, she couldn't have been more content. "I love you too Tim," she whispers softly against his neck.
