I'm Broken:
Some years later:
Many years past and not much had changed. Castiel and Dean were still together and they were now in high school. (Dean - 16 and Castiel - 15) Sam and Gabriel still hated each other and even though they could never admit it to anyone, they did care about each other. On this paticaular day, Dean and Castiel were talking about finally taking their relationship to the next level but Castiel still hadn't told Dean about all the sexual abuse he suffered when he was younger and he knew that when Dean found out he wasn't a virgin, he'd be mad. Even more mad than he would be when he found out that Castiel had hidden it all this time and Castiel so afraid to tell him.
"Dean can I tell you something?" Castiel asked sitting up on Dean's bed.
"Sure" Dean said looking into Castiel's eyes.
"You remember me telling you about my father and everything he did to me and Gabriel right?"
"Of corse"
"Well, I never told you everything"
"What?"
"My dad also, sexually abused us. That's what drove Gabriel to kill him"
The look that crossed Deans face made Castiel flinch and hide his face. Dean's face wasn't angry or sad, it was like a mix of the two and Castiel didn't like it at all. Dean just took Castiel back into his arms and said,
"I can't believe you didn't tell me sooner, but thank you for letting me now"
"I'm sorry"
"It's alright. You're still up for tonight though?"
"Yeah, of corse."
...
"I can't believe Micheal agreed to this" John crossed his arms, in disbelieve. Dean was 16 and Castiel was 15, there was no way Micheal was going to agree but apparently he had.
"It was a long shot but it worked, I'm going to stay at Castiel's tonight. I'll be back sometime tomorrow."
"Ok, sweetie. Tell Cas I said hi and try not to wreck the car" Mary waved at Dean as he shut the car boot.
"The car will be fine Mum. Bye guys" Dean smiled as he drove away. He can't believe they bought it. Sam had his orders, if the phone rang answer it, it could be Micheal wanting to talk to Cas.
...
"Be careful" Gabriel ordered Castiel,
"What are you talking about?" Castiel blushed,
"You know what I mean" Gabriel shouted, automatically lowering his voice. "I'll answer the phone incase Mary or John call. What did you tell Micheal?"
"I was going to Dean's" Castiel said quietly.
"Ok. He'll be here soon so be safe, have fun" Gabriel handed Castiel his packed bag, "call me if you need anything!"
*Beep, beep*
"His here" Castiel hid his face,
"Come on" Gabriel pulled him out the door and opened the front door to find Dean was only just getting out of the car.
"Bye, guys" Castiel was excited but scared at the same time, him and Dean were staying out for a night. They'd been on dates before but they'd always gone home after and this time - they were staying out. Dean had prepared the bunker and everything. A picnic under the stars. Skinny dipping in the lake and then back to the room for some... 'Sleep' as they said their careers.
"Hey Cas" Dean smirked taking the bag from him and kissing him. He threw the bag in the trunk and closed it. "Ready?"
"Ready" Castiel was clearly nervous but Dean was too but he'd planed everything so carefully that nothing could go wrong.
"Bye Cas" Gabriel waved goodbye and closed the door.
"Nervous?" Dean asked planting another kiss on Castiel's lips.
"No" Castiel lied shaking his head. Dean knew he was lying but deiced to just get on with the night.
...
Dean refused to let Castiel help set the picnic up. Castiel had to stand there and watch as Dean layed down the blanket and the put the food down.
"Ok, you can sit on the blanket now" Dean's face went red.
"It's sweet that you did all this for me Dean" Castiel spread himself out on the blanket, Dean taking a seat next to him and reaching for the pie.
"Well, you are my boyfriend right?" Dean asked taking a piece of pie on his fork.
"Right" Castiel grinned putting his mouth around the treat that Dean was offering him. Dean just stared, Castiel didn't take his eyes of Dean the entire time and Dean just wanted to rip his clothes off, but not yet. They had to finish eating and then there was skinny dipping in the lake. They let their food go down while they watched the stars for a while.
"They're beautiful aren't they?" Castiel asked, feeling Dean's chest rise and fall as he breathed, listening to his heart beat.
"Not at beautiful as you" Dean huffed, looking down at the boy he was holding so close.
"Well, I'm not better looking than you are" Castiel meet Dean's gaze and Dean met his lips.
"Think your ready for a dip in the lake now?"
"Oh, yeah" Castiel pulled Dean up and they stripped before Dean picked Castiel up and threw him in the lake and jumped in after him, taking the boy in his arms again.
"I love you" Dean brushed the hair from Castiel's eyes.
"I love you more"
"I love you most"
"That's impossabile!"
"Should we test it?" Dean questioned, his eyes moving from Castiel's lips to eyes and back again, several times. Castiel kissed him,
"Not here" he whispered, his Dean's ear.
"Here's just as good as anywhere else" Dean breaths kissing Castiel's neck.
"Some one might see" Castiel notified him, pushing Dean away and crawling out of the water.
Dean followed with a mischievous smile on his lips. He pulled his clothes on, his eyes fixed on Castiel as he did so and he drove as fast as the speed limit would allow him. They could never get to the bunker fast enough. Finally they got in and Dean had only just closed the door when Castiel jumped him. Pushing his back into the door and kissing him passionately and roughly at the same time. Dean was loving it. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriends waist, like he always did only with more lust this time. Dean pushed Castiel on the bed.
"Dean - Mmn" Castiel moaned, taking the boys jacket off.
"Ngh"
"Ahh"
"Mmn - nn - Dean"
"Unf"
Suddenly Castiel felt something, sure he wanted this but he was nervous and he couldn't help it.
"Dean..." he breathed, "I can't... Breath."
Dean pulled away, he looked into Castiel's eyes at first he was worried then, he relaxed.
"Liar" he whispered, lifting his shirt off over his head. He stroked Castiel's cheek, Castiel was looking at Deans abbs. "What's wrong?"
"I... Just"
"Just?" Deans eyes were moving from Castiel's lips to Castiel's eyes and back again.
"Just... Uh" Castiel was afraid to say it, he didn't want to upset Dean by saying it.
"Nervous?"
"Yeah" Castiel blushed, he was embarrassed now to.
"Me to" Dean confessed, "I promise, you can stop me at anytime. If I'm doing something you're unhappy with, tell me and I'll stop. I promise. Ok?"
Castiel relaxed a little, he did want to do this and he didn't want to make Dean feel like he didn't nor did he want Dean to hold back, he wanted Dean to show him all the love he could and not have to be worried about being rejected.
"It's ok. I don't want you to hold back" Castiel shyed away, he felt like he'd just ruined everything. "I'm sorry, I've ruined everything."
"No, you haven't" Dean said softly. "It's ok. Come on, you know I love you. If you'll give me all your love, I promise, I'll give you all of mine."
"I promise" Castiel sighed.
"Ok, then" Dean smiled putting his lips over Castiel's again. This night was a night to remember. Dean knew about Castiel's past sexual experience's with his dad and Dean said that he didn't want to force Castiel into anything. Whatever Castiel wanted - or didn't want it was Dean's job to to do it - or not do it. It didn''t take long for Castiel's shirt to come off. Sure, his chest wasn't as muscler as Deans was but it was perfect for him. There was no part of Castiel that Dean could ever find off-putting. Dean had seen Castiel's bad points as he had stuck with him through that, his naked cannot be worse than that. Dean started fiddling with Castiel's belt. He wasn't going to undo it, not yet. But, and he knew it was mean, but teasing Castiel was a huge turn on for the both of them.
Dean had done resech on this stuff. Since Castiel had already had 'sex' in one form or another, he didn't need to be prepared. Dean did. Dean had never have had a sexual encounter at all. Castiel knew what he had to do an he was more than willing to do it because it would stop Dean, hurting so much when they got down to it. Finally, all the clothing was gone and it was just them. Dean, layed down and allowed Castiel to do what he knew had to be done. If Dean needed Castiel to stop so he could catch his breath, then all Dean had to do was say so. Then, with that out of the way they could really get into it. Not think about anything but their love for each other and that, is what they did.
...
"Cas..." Dean collapsed on top of him and held him tight.
"W-what is it?"
"I love you"
"I love you more."
"I love you most."
"Thats impossible."
"We love each other the same, how about that?" Dean asked, wiping the sweat off of Castiel's forehead.
"Deal" Castiel smiled, planting a sloppy kiss on Dean's lips before finally closing his eyes to sleep.
"Sleep well my angel" Dean whispered kissing the top of Cas's head.
"You too my knight in shining amour" Castiel replied, nuzzling his head under Dean's chin.
