A/N: Yaaaaay! 100 REVIEWS! *dances like a mad thing* THANK YOUUU!

This is ANOTHER PPP-based chapter. XD This one is based on The Vortex :) Also, who's seen their newest vid, 'Ginny'? Oh my Dobby it's hilarious XD

Anyway, enjoy :L

It was an incredibly boring afternoon in the Sanctuary. Guild was in the middle of telling Skulduggery about a dream he had had the night before.

' - and then the flowers fell from my hand, shattering like glass. And when I looked in the mirror, I was a beautiful milkmaid, but then I woke up crying, and I don't know why,' said Guild.

'Once when I was alive,' said Skulduggery, 'I had a dream I was a baby pig, living on a farm. Oink! Oink!'

'No, you don't understand. It was a life changing vision. I may never be the same. I - '

Valkyrie and China came running into the room. Well, Valkyrie came running. China walked. Elegantly.

'Skulduggery! We need your help! Magical emergency!' Valkyrie yelled.

'Oh boy!' said Skulduggery. 'Let's go!'

'Fletcher's trapped in an alternate dimension,' China explained.

'Oh no,' said Skulduggery. 'Not again. It's not the one with the Faceless Ones, is it?'

'Nah. That would be far too serious.'

They piled into the Bentley and drove to Gordon's. When they entered the living room, they saw a glowing ball of light hovering in midair. Fletcher's voice could be heard floating out of it. 'Oh, it's the most terrible thing! It tickles in all the wrong ways!'

'This wouldn't happen if you had better hair,' Valkyrie said. 'What should we do, Skulduggery?'

'Hmmmm,' said Skulduggery. 'Fetch me the problem stick!'

The problem stick was Wreath's Necromancer cane.

'ARGH! I THINK I'M GOING THROUGH PUBERTY!' they heard Fletcher shout.

'Don't go into the light Fletcher!' called China.

'Here it is,' said Valkyrie, handing Skulduggery Wreath's cane. (Meanwhile, in the Necromancer temple: 'WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CANE?' Wreath bellowed.)

'Ah yes, my old friend,' said Skulduggery. 'Let's see if I can still do this.' He paused, and turned to look at them. 'The reason we can do this without a Teleporter and an Isthmus Anchor is because... Oh, I don't know. It's just crackfic. Here we go!'

He jabbed the cane through the portal and Fletcher fell out and landed on the floor. 'Whoa.'

'Are you okay, Fletcher?' Valkyrie asked.

'Val babe, are you kidding me?' said Fletcher in a much deeper voice than usual. He stood up, and they saw that he was wearing a leather jacket and sunglasses like Bono. 'I'm a man now. Sup?'

Valkyrie giggled uncharacteristically. 'Oh, Fletcher...'

'It's The Fletch now,' he corrected her. 'Wassup China?'

'Wow, you're much cooler than Skulduggery,' said China.

'What?' Skulduggery gasped.

'Let's have a beach party,' said Fletcher. 'In London.'

He teleported them to London. They had a beach party. Despite the fact that there are no beaches in London.

'NO! NO!' yelled Skulduggery and the music abruptly cut off. He grabbed Fletcher and shook him so that his sunglasses fell off. 'I RULE THE WORLD, YOU HEAR? I'M TOP DOG! NO-ONE CAN HAVE MORE TESTOSTERONE THAN ME, EVEN THOUGH I'M A SKELETON SO TECHNICALLY I DON'T HAVE ANY TESTOSTERONE ANYWAY! CAUSE I'M SKULDUGGERY PLEASANT, AND I'M THE SKELETON DETECTIVE... AND I'M SKULDUGGERY PLEASANT, OKAY?'

'I'm so sorry, Skulduggery,' Fletcher said, quivering.

'Well, good!' said Skulduggery. 'Now let's have a dance party. In London.'

The music started again, and Skulduggery jumped up onto the stage and grabbed the mic.

'My name is Skulduggery, I'm the king of the world. I'm better than everybody, in the world. I'm hip and I'm awesome, all the girls know my name. Sk-sk-sk-skulduggery, that is my name. Skulduggery, Skulduggery... do the shooby-doo-wap!'

'Shooby-doo-wap, shooby-do-wap,' went China, Valkyrie and Fletcher, always the obedient backing singers.

'I defeated Serpine when I was four hundred. I was even awesome, when I was four hundred. My wife and child died, when I was twenty. I turned into a skeleton, without any skin. Skulduggery Pleasant!'

'Shooby-doo-wap, shooby-do-wap!'

'Skulduggery Pleasant!'

'Shooby-do-wap!'

'Skulduggery Pleasant!'

'Shooby-do-wap!'

'That's meeee!'

The song ended and Skulduggery looked at Valkyrie, China and Fletcher. 'You guys are my best friends, you know that?' he said, his voice brimming with emotion. 'Apart from Ghastly and Tanith and Erskine and Anton, obviously. And maybe Finbar. But they're not here.'

'Oh, Skulduggery,' said Valkyrie, wiping away a tear.

'You're going to be alright, Skulduggery,' said China gracefully, putting an arm around his bony shoulder.

'We'll always love you, Skulduggery,' Valkyrie assured him.

'I love you too, Skul! Will you be my father substitute?' Fletcher asked over-eagerly.

'Cut your hair before you hug me, Renn,' was Skulduggery's crushing response.

'Huh?'

THE END