A/N—I got a lot written today, so I'm posting another chapter already! Probably won't post anything else until next weekend, so enjoy. Noah's back for this chapter. :)


Kendall checked the nearest restroom first, recalling James visiting it when he'd had a panic attack during his previous appointment—nothing.

Then again, James wasn't panicked this time; he was angry. Kendall prayed his boyfriend hadn't yelled at anyone on the way to the car.

And that was where he finally found James, seated behind the wheel in the underground parking garage. James' hands were tightly wrapped around the wheel as if to remove them would be dangerous; Kendall supposed it might be for the surrounding glass. He opened the door and settled into the passenger seat, James acknowledging his presence only with, "I don't want to talk about it."

"Oh, we're going to talk about it. What happened to working on your temper?"

"Noah's not even around."

"So that makes it okay?" Kendall turned sideways in the seat so he could face James while leaning back against the door. "It's fine to treat others like crap as long as Noah isn't there to witness it?"

"So I'm supposed to be happy about this?" James exploded, finally looking at Kendall. "I'm supposed to just be fine with the fact that we have to hide the most important person in our lives? What the fuck, Kendall? I finally get you, after two years I finally have your heart, and I have what I never knew I needed in a son. Everything is perfect right now, and it's because you make us work. But I'm supposed to sit in a courtroom and pretend like you don't exist, like the part of life that makes me want to get out of bed every morning isn't even real." Anger was slowly giving way to sadness now, tears forming. "That's bullshit and you know it."

"Babe...I know. I know it is, but..." Kendall trailed off, at a loss. Everything James said was true, and he hated that he had to argue against the point James was trying to make. "All that matters right now is you keeping Noah."

"But that's not all that matters. My family matters, and you're part of that. So don't yell at me for getting pissed off about having to lie about it."

"I'm just asking you to do better with your temper. Imagine if you go off like that in front of a judge. If Sherry says things about you to make you look bad, and you get pissed off and lose it like you just did. How do you think that's going to affect a judge's opinion of you as a father?"

"I'd never yell at Noah like that."

"A judge doesn't know that, James. All I'm saying is that you need to practice reining in your anger. It's instinct for you to let it go, and I don't know where you learned that or if it's just part of your personality but it's a habit that could cost you your son." When James made a sniffling sound, Kendall reached into the console for tissues he knew were buried in there. "I'm just trying to help, babe."

James rubbed his eyes with the tissue Kendall passed him, staring out the windshield at nothing as he gathered his thoughts. "I'm so scared," he finally admitted softly. "I don't think I've ever been this scared, not even when I went into rehab. What if she gets her way? What if the judge believes her lies and..." His body went into trembles, Kendall no longer able to resist wrapping his arms around him; James went willingly. "What if I never see my son again?"

"Okay, let's talk about that. I don't even like to think about it, but let's consider what would happen should she end up with custody. The good news is that I can't imagine a judge completely denying you visitation. There's absolutely no reason you can't have that, even if it's supervised visitation."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that you'd get to see him, like on a schedule. Once a week or twice a month maybe, it all depends on the ruling. And someone else would have to be present."

"Who?"

"Again, depends on the ruling. It could be someone you both agree on, like Pete. Or the court could appoint someone to be present just for that, like a social worker. I think the odds of you never seeing Noah again are slim, James. I don't know of any judge who would rule against supervised visitation, especially if you're sober and can prove that. And not a danger to him."

"You know I'd never hurt him."

"And as long as you keep that temper in check, a judge will know that as well. Has Sherry ever seen you lash out like that?"

James leaned away from Kendall to cast back in his memory. "Maybe. But I think if she did, it would've been when I was on drugs. I was super careful around her after that, because I was afraid she'd tell me I couldn't see Shannon anymore."

"Okay, that's good. And the only time Noah's witnessed it was at the school, and he saw you apologize. We've talked enough about it that he knows you're working on it and I don't think he'll bring that up himself."

"Is Paul right about the judge not even talking to Noah?"

"I think so, actually. I haven't read up a lot on that side of things, but I think I remember another student asking something about that in one of my classes."

"What sense does that make, though? You and I both know that if a judge sat that kid down and asked who he wanted to live with, his answer would be..." James hesitated, suddenly uncertain. "I mean...it would be me, right?"

"I'm pretty sure, yeah. He does love his grandpa, though. We need to consider that, and even if nothing ever goes to court, he should be allowed to see his grandparents."

"I know," James sighed, hating to admit that. "I just don't want her anywhere around him. She's poison to him."

"But in his own way, he loves her. She's still his grandma, and was probably the most stable person in his life before he came to live with you."

James bit his lip. The tears were gone now, but Kendall could see that his heart was still struggling with everything. "How long does she have to make a move? Is there some kind of like...time period she has to claim him?"

"No, not really. But she'd need time to prepare a case, to hire a lawyer and plan out their attack and to gather evidence against you."

"What sort of evidence?"

"Anything she can find to prove you're not fit to raise Noah. That you're a danger to him in some way."

"So...the fact that nothing's happened yet. That doesn't really mean anything."

Kendall shrugged. "It's hard to say, babe."

"And when she does...if she does. What happens?"

"She'll file a petition with the court, for a hearing. You'll get served with a summons telling you where and when to appear, and at that hearing she'll present her evidence. If the judge agrees with her, Noah goes home with her. Paul can ask for visitation rights during that hearing, or you can petition for that later at another hearing. But it's best to be ready for anything, so we'll make sure he requests that for you immediately if the judge sides with her. The goal is to put enough doubt in the judge's mind about her that you're seen as the better parent for him."

"So then...could the judge give us both custody? Like they do in divorces? Because that would be hard on Noah to go back and forth, but it's better than me only seeing him for like an hour a week or something."

"Most judges know that it's better for a child to have something stable, and if shared custody can be avoided, they'll go with that. They try to be fair to the parents, but the welfare of the child is most important. Since you're the actual parent, you have a better chance of getting full custody—as long as the judge feels you provide the right environment for Noah, anyway. So that's our goal, and that's what Paul was talking about with the Pembroke being a secure home for Noah. But we also have to prove that there isn't anything weird happening inside the apartment, and that's where I come in. I might be perceived as a danger."

"But what sense does that even make? Because you're gay? So is Carlos! So is Logan, and so am I! Why would it be okay for Noah to be around all of us but not you?"

"Because none of them would be dating you. A judge has to look at how that would shape Noah's perception of relationships. Carlos and Logan are your friends, but I'd be so much more. I'd be a potential second dad for Noah, and that changes everything. I'd be living there."

"So is Carlos! And I mean, if anyone is gonna spend a lot of time with Noah, it's him. I just don't get why Paul is worried about you, like you're the bad guy, but Carlos is okay."

"For all the reasons I just said. I'm going to have more of an impact on Noah, as a potential stepfather."

"What if we tell the judge you're just a friend, too?" When Kendall didn't answer, James pressed on. "They don't know any different, right? Since Noah never talks about you?"

"I wouldn't want to risk that, babe. We can go in saying that, and then someone slips or is asked under oath, and the judge knows we lied. If Logan was asked directly about our relationship, would he lie?"

"No," James sighed. "Not under oath."

"Exactly, and I wouldn't ask him to. My point is, they both have a reason to be in your life. Logan is your best friend, Carlos is the nanny. What am I?"

"The best thing that ever happened to me?"

Kendall couldn't keep a smile from curving up his lips. "And do you think a judge wouldn't know that the second you laid eyes on me? You're not very good at keeping your feelings for me a secret, you know. Even Noah could tell after spending a day with us."

"Well, he's my kid. And he knew it because he worships you, too."

"Ah, James." Kendall placed a hand over James' cheek and pulled him in for a kiss. "Everything you said in that office is true, but that's not how the law works. We just have to be ready for anything. We have to go into this as if we're going to get the most homophobic judge in the world, because we might. And that's why it's best that I don't exist in Noah's life."

"You mean inside the courtroom. Because there's no way in hell we're letting you disappear."

Kendall hugged James in. "I'll do everything I can to keep that from happening. But you have to work with me, and with Paul. Do you trust me?"

"More than anyone."

"Then don't fight us. We're only doing what we have to for you and Noah."

"Don't let her take him from me. Please."

Kendall squeezed James tighter, feeling the tension in a body that looked so strong on the outside but was so fragile underneath. "I'll do what I have to." He waited until James had calmed to ask, "Now what time do we need to pick up Noah?"

James' head shot up, barely missing Kendall's chin in the process. "Shit!" After a glance at his watch, he shifted to turn the car on. "We're gonna be late. Shit shit shit! I'm so bad at this dad stuff!"

"Babe, relax," Kendall chuckled. "You're not the only late parent in the world. We'll take him out for cocoa to make it up to him."

"Oh my god, I could so go for one of your lattes right now. I kind of miss that."

"My lattes?"

"Yeah." James pulled out of the parking spot and reversed directions. "Now that you live with me, I don't have any reason to go down there every day."

"Babe, slow down. Noah's not going anywhere, he's safe at the school until we get there." James heeded the warning and Kendall breathed again. "Why did you go to a place so far away just for coffee?"

"Are you kidding me? That's not 'just coffee.' What you do there is magic."

"Still, though," Kendall laughed, pleased all the same. "Why so far away?"

"The first time, I was driving back from Logan's. I hadn't gotten much sleep and was tired, so I needed some caffeine. Saw the place across the street from Black Forest and pulled in. The line was way too long, though, and I just wanted to get home, so I went to your place instead. Best decision I ever made in my life."

"Yeah, we actually steal a lot of customers from that place."

"I'm sure some of that is due to the coffee, but for me it was you. That really was the best latte I'd ever had. And then you smiled at me and..." James shrugged. "Well, you know the rest."

"Wait, so you came back every day for me? You drove all that way just for coffee?"

"For my morning fix, I sure did. And not just for the coffee," James winked. "I hated Sundays because I knew I wouldn't see you. Or get good coffee."

Kendall swallowed, choked up more than he should've been over the admission. "I can't believe you did that. Every single day. Just for..."

"You."

"Me."

"Worth every penny of extra time and gas, babe."

Kendall shook his head. "I just can't believe that all that time, you were infatuated with me, too. Wait a second."

"Hmm?"

"You were coming back from Logan's? In the morning?"

"Yeah?"

"And you didn't get much sleep?"

James snuck a glance over, amused. "When are you gonna accept that I've never been with Logan?"

"When you stop making comments like that."

"It was for his job interview, Kendall. He was a basketcase and called me while I was working. I left early and went to his place to calm him down. He was in a panic because he was so sure they weren't going to hire him."

"Oh."

"Yeah. We just talked. And maybe cuddled a little."

"See, that's the sort of thing you shouldn't tell me."

"I only did it to mess with you," James smirked. "But really, he was scared. Like you wouldn't do that for Carlos?"

Immediately Kendall felt like an idiot. "Okay, you win. I have done that for Carlos. Not about a job, but..."

"Mm-hm."

"I'm sorry. I'm so ridiculous with my jealousy. It's ruined things for me in the past."

"Good thing for you I'm just as jealous, isn't it?"

"Are you, though?" Kendall mused, turning to study James. "I haven't seen any of that."

"There hasn't been reason for it yet. You just wait, babe. You're not the only jealous bitch in this relationship, trust me."

The words probably would've set off warning bells from anyone else. Coming from James, though, who put his body on display for countless other men on a daily basis, they only made Kendall feel more secure.


"Kendall!"

The screech was loud enough that everyone in the classroom turned to stare at Noah. They were late, but only by ten minutes and all that remained in the room with Mrs. Lattimore were a handful of other students and parents. All of them watched as Noah sprinted toward the door to launch himself into Kendall's waiting arms, and Kendall's heart felt like it might explode from joy as he stood while Noah clung to his side. "Hey, buddy!"

"I thought you had to work!"

"I left a little early today, your daddy and I had a meeting with Paul. Do you remember him?"

Noah's grin faded. "The man who tried to make me stay with Grandma?"

"Uh...well, now he's making sure you stay with Daddy."

"Oh." His face cleared again and he fought to climb down. "Come look at what I drew today!"

Kendall allowed himself to be dragged off by the hand, looking back at James with an "I'm sorry" expression. James shrugged, used to it, before turning to greet Mrs. Lattimore.

Kendall was taken around the room, Noah proudly explaining what each area was for and showing Kendall the work he'd done in the two days he'd been at school. Noah then steered him to the table he sat at, where a boy was finishing up some sort of colorful collage made up of cutouts from magazines. "This is Zavey!"

"Oh, hi," Kendall smiled. "Noah told me about you. You're his friend, right?"

Zavey nodded, cheeks reddening at being the center of attention.

"This is Kendall, he's my best friend! He makes hot cocoa and cookies!"

Kendall grinned now, also embarrassed by the attention. "What are you making?" he asked the boy, who barely glanced up while gluing the last picture into place.

"Me."

The answer confused Kendall until Noah explained, "Those are the things that make up Zavey. Look at mine!" He motioned for Kendall to move aside, then reached for a folder on what was apparently his desk. From inside he extracted his own collage, pointing out each thing he'd chosen and added to it. "I used books cause I like to read, see? And the stars right here. And green, cause that's my favorite color!"

"I see that. What's the airplane?"

"Oh, cause I like when Daddy spins me like a airplane. Look, I put a taco in, too!"

"Because you love his tacos," Kendall chuckled. "And there's a heart. Because you love him?" Noah only managed a nod to that question, and Kendall moved on as he knew it was difficult for Noah to express that. "Is that a dog I see here?"

"Yeah. I want a dog."

"I kinda figured that out, buddy. No promises on that. Who's this lady?" Noah didn't answer right away, and Kendall suddenly understood. "Is that Mom?" he asked quietly.

"I don't have pictures of her. But that lady looks like Mom."

Kendall nodded. "I'm glad you put her in there. You shouldn't forget about her. How about the baseball?"

"Grandpa likes baseball! He wanted to teach me but Grandma said no. We used to watch the games on T.V.!"

Remembering his earlier conversation with James, Kendall was even more determined that Noah see his grandfather. "This is really great, buddy. Can you take it home?"

"Not yet. Mrs. Lattimore said for open house we have to keep it here."

"Oh, okay."

"Zavey! You done?"

They looked toward the front of the room when the female voice called out, and only then did Kendall notice that James was surrounded by women. Three of them seemed to be fighting for his attention while the fourth waited for Zavey.

"Coming," the boy answered quietly. Before he could get too far, Noah ran over and hugged him.

"See you tomorrow! Don't forget, it's my turn on the swings first!"

"I remember," Zavey replied, his face more animated now. "But you have to push me next!"

"I promise! Bye, Zavey!"

The boy took his mother's outstretched hand and Kendall watched while she said goodbye to James. She was almost out the door when she turned back. "I'll call you tonight, James."

"Anytime after four is good," James smiled back, then shifted his attention to Kendall. "I'll explain later."

Oh, you'd better. Before he could voice any of his thoughts, Noah redirected his focus with a whisper.

"Kendall! Kendall, look, I can't tell anyone but this is for you."

Kendall's eyes followed Noah's pointing finger to a small cutout he hadn't noticed in the collage. It featured a cartoon wizard with a wand. Next to that one, he'd glued a picture of an owl.

"And see, I even put Scampers in. And here's a bookshelf, like the one we built together."

Words failed Kendall. All he could do was stare at the tiny pictures, realizing that in Noah's mind, he was part of what made up the boy's world.

"Is that okay?" Noah asked, worried by Kendall's lack of enthusiasm. "I didn't tell anybody. Nobody knows our secret. Oh, but I told Zavey you're my best friend! Is that bad? I can tell him not to tell anybody! I'm sorry, Kendall, I didn't mean to!"

"No, Noah, no, it's okay." As Noah was heading toward hysteria again (albeit in a whisper), Kendall awkwardly sat in the nearest small chair and lifted Noah onto his lap to hug him. "It's okay. You don't have to keep me a secret."

"But if someone knows, you'll have to leave!"

"You can tell them we're friends, it's okay."

"Promise?"

"Yes," Kendall nodded. "If anyone ever asks you about me, I don't want you to feel like you have to lie. You just can't tell them I'm a wizard."

"I won't!"

"I know. We're okay, baby. We're okay. Want hot cocoa on the way home?"

"Yeah!"

A tinkle of flirty laughter floated their way, prompting Kendall to search out James. Again, he was in the midst of mothers vying for his attention. "Oh, we need to get your daddy out of here. Come on."

After grabbing Noah's backpack, Kendall stood with Noah on his hip, making a beeline for the small group. "Ready, James? We promised Noah a treat on the way home."

James grinned, obviously reveling in Kendall's jealousy. "So we did. Ladies, I'm sure we'll meet again. Mrs. Lattimore, thank you for the email yesterday."

An older woman Kendall assumed to be the teacher nodded. "I'll send another this afternoon."

"Thanks." James turned to his two favorite people. "Hey, kiddo."

"Hi, Daddy!"

Kendall was pleased to feel Noah leaning away and reaching for his father, who scooped the boy into his arms and hugged him. "So happy to see you, baby. How was school today?"

"It was so great! I got to swing with Zavey at recess! Tomorrow we're gonna do it again!"

At the door Kendall suddenly touched James' elbow. "Hang on. Come look at Noah's collage."

"Yeah! Daddy, let me show you! I want a dog!"

"Oh, do you?" James let out a weak laugh as they moved back across the room. "I uh...we'll have to see. Dogs are a lot of work and...maybe one day. But I can't promise yet, okay? We'll see."

"Okaaaaaaaay." Noah's disappointment vanished when Kendall lifted the collage from Noah's desk. "Look, Daddy, I put a picture of the dog I want! Just in case."

"That's a big dog, kiddo. We have a little apartment."

"Oh. I guess a little dog is okay, too."

Kendall smiled and said, "This collage is what makes up Noah. See, we've got stars and books, and a baseball because that's what his grandpa likes." Kendall didn't miss the sharp look from James at that. "And this represents his mom."

Now James studied the cutout, his breath catching. "Noah. She really does look like Mom, doesn't she? Same hair."

Kendall waited for Noah to agree before adding, "And see this? A taco and an airplane."

James' gaze met Kendall's. He understood the taco, but... "An airplane?"

"Tell him why the airplane, Noah."

Still riding on James' hip, Noah admitted softly, "Cause I like it when you spin me like a airplane."

"Oh, you mean like this?"

Without warning James shifted Noah's body so that he could spin him, doing a less enthusiastic version of it due to their confined setting. Noah's happy screams reverberated around the room, drawing a disapproving frown from Mrs. Lattimore.

"No horseplay in the classroom, children."

"Sorry," James laughed, returning Noah to his previous place. "So this is...what was it? The things that make up Noah?"

"Yeah! I even put the bookshelf Kendall built with me!"

"So you did." James saw more than that but kept mum on the wizard and owl. "This is fantastic. Let's take it home; I want that front and center on the fridge."

"We can't until after open house."

"Well, that sucks." He called out to Mrs. Lattimore. "When's open house?"

"Next Thursday night. I put a notice in his backpack today."

"Cool."

"Will you come, Daddy? Wendy said her mommy and daddy can't come."

"I'll be here, baby. No matter what."

"Kendall? Will you come?"

James fielded that. "Kendall has to work Thursday nights, Noah. I'm sorry."

"I'll be here," Kendall said anyway.

"What? You can't miss work."

"I'll switch with someone. Noah, I'll be here. Promise."

"Yay!"

Noah's excited face made the upcoming hassle of getting his shift covered worth it.

They'd made it out into the hall, Noah's hand secure in his father's, before Kendall had to ask. "Why are you calling Zavey's mother?"

"We're in charge of snacks next week. We have to coordinate, babe."

"I thought the kids brought their own snacks."

"Not all the kids can afford it, so the class provides for those who can't. The parents take turns."

"Oh."

"If you want, I'll put the call on speaker," James teased. "Since you think she's dying to jump my bones."

"Oh shut up, I saw the way those women looked at you."

"They're bored housewives, Kendall. I'm the hot new dad. It's natural."

Kendall leaned closer to whisper, "You're my hot dad, and those bitches need to remember that."

"I might need some reminding of that tonight."

Kendall shook his head while fighting a smirk. "You'd use my jealousy for your own pleasure?"

"I'll use anything I can to get into your pants."

Glad Noah hadn't overheard that, Kendall laughed and slid an arm around James' waist. They were facing an unknown future, but one thing Kendall was certain of was this man's love for him.