Sorry for the lack of update yesterday. I ended up with another stomach bug and have been in agony since three o'clock yesterday morning. Feeling a bit improved today so will try and do a double update if my ability to sit up and look at a computer screen holds out. Love, IJKS xxx

Chapter Twenty Eight

Charlie and Joey retired quickly to Joey's room, leaving Aden in peace. Curled up on the bed, Charlie relayed the story of her horrible day to her girlfriend. Joey held her close and kissed the top of her head.

"I'm so sorry," she said softly, meaning it even more than Charlie understood.

"It wasn't fun," Charlie admitted. "I feel sick just thinking about it. I killed a man…"

"He was a bastard," Joey pointed out.

"He was," Charlie agreed. "But he was still a human being and I… I killed him. He had a family and friends and…"

She sighed heavily and shook her head.

"But you didn't have a choice, did you?" Joey said. "I mean, he was trying to kill you…"

"Well, technically, at that particular point in the day, he was trying to kill Brax but… yeah," Charlie sighed.

She felt Joey stiffen a little. Shifting, she gazed into her eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing," Joey lied.

Charlie sighed heavily and pulled away. She moved until she was sitting cross legged directly in front of her girlfriend. She reached out and held her hands.

"Joey, talk to me…" she begged.

"I guess I'm just not all that comfortable with the Brax thing," Joey admitted.

"No kidding," Charlie remarked. "But I've already told you it's over, Joey. I don't know what else I can do…"

Joey sighed and squeezed her hands.

"There's nothing you can do," she said quietly. "I just have to get over it."

She chewed her lip and tried to regulate her breathing.

"Charlie, I have a confession to make," she ventured.

Charlie looked her directly in the eye.

"You thought I'd cheated on you," she concluded.

Joey nodded silently.

"But I didn't," Charlie said. "I know I made a mistake before but I'm different now. I know what it's like to lose you, Joey and there's no way I'm going through that again. I'd never…"

She trailed off and tried not to cry. She couldn't help but fear they would be going round and round in circles forever. Part of forgiveness was trust and Charlie was concerned that Joey was never going to get there.

"I know," Joey said softly. "I know that now."

"But you didn't know it today?" Charlie asked.

"I… I heard you say his name when you hung up the phone from me," Joey admitted. "And I think I went a little crazy…"

Charlie nodded thoughtfully, studying the expression on her girlfriend's face.

"Joey, can I ask you a question?" she asked.

Joey nodded.

"Are you ever going to forgive and forget what happened before?"

"I will," Joey said. "I do."

"I just… I'm feeling so on edge right now," Charlie admitted. "I feel like if I put a foot wrong, you're going to accuse me. And I… I mean, I know I deserve it but I feel like I've worked really hard to prove how much I love you and…"

"You have," Joey cut in. "I don't know why I freaked out like I did. But I do forgive you, Charlie and I do trust you. Maybe… maybe we needed today to put everything in perspective. We've got over a hurdle and now we can just trust each other."

She looked hopeful. Charlie smiled before leaning in to kiss her.

"Can I ask you another question?" Charlie requested, refusing to meet Joey's eye this time.

"Sure," Joey said, her voice hollow.

"Did you cheat on me today?" Charlie asked.

She kept her head down and studied a mark on the bedspread.

"No," Joey replied quietly. "But I considered it."

Charlie looked up, searching Joey's expression.

"I'm sorry," the younger girl said. "I'm really, really sorry."

"If you did do something," Charlie said. "You can tell me. I won't be mad. I just… need to know."

"I didn't," Joey promised. "I went out to a bar and a girl hit on me. I could have and I nearly did but at the last minute, I changed my mind. I know how painful it is to be betrayed and I couldn't do that to you. I didn't know where we stood with each other and I didn't know what to do. But I love you, Charlie. And I knew I had to have enough respect for you that even if it was over, we had to make sure first. I couldn't just go off with someone else."

"Like I did," Charlie said quietly, bowing her head again.

Joey squeezed her hands gently.

"That's not what I meant," she assured her. "I just meant that… that I would never hurt you like that. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"Even though…?"

"Neither of us are perfect," Joey said. "But we're trying, right?"

Charlie smiled, nodding quietly.

"So, if you can forgive me for nearly making a huge mistake, then I still want to stay together," Joey said. "I want us to draw another line under the past to doubly make sure it stays there. And I want to move into the future with you right by my side."

She smiled lovingly at her girlfriend who returned the gesture.

"Can we do that?" she asked.

Charlie leant forward and kissed her again, this time with increasing passion.

"We can do that," she promised.

Drawing away, Joey still looked troubled.

"Are you sure?" she checked.

She stroked Charlie's face and gazed into her eyes, torn up by her own actions.

"Of course we can," Charlie said. "I mean, it's not like you actually did cheat on me. I don't even deserve…"

Joey interrupted her by saying her name.

"You deserve a hell of a lot better than me," the paramedic insisted.

"Joey, you're the most amazing…"

"You nearly died today," Joey said, her voice catching at the mere thought. "And I immediately thought the worst of you. I didn't even give you a chance to explain. I just… I'm so sorry."

She hung her head, doubting they could move past it after all.

"Of course you thought the worst of me after…"

Joey laughed sadly and kissed her. They rested their foreheads together.

"What are we like?" she wondered. "We're both so eager to blame ourselves for everything…"

Charlie managed a smile.

"How about we say that what happened last time was your fault?" Joey suggested. "And what happened this time was all down to me?"

"That sounds like a good plan to me," Charlie decided. "As long as we can really put everything behind us this time."

Joey leant in and kissed her.

"I am so sorry for letting you down," she said sincerely. "I swear it will never happen again. I swear. I think I just got so panicked because…"

"Because?" Charlie asked curiously.

"Because I'm so happy," Joey admitted. "I loved you so much the first time around and I was so broken when I lost you. And I'm even happier this time around and…"

She sighed

"I guess I've been scared that… well, that if it went wrong again, I wouldn't recover. And subsequently, I kind of tried to sabotage things… I'm sorry. I love you."

Charlie gazed into her eyes, falling in love with her all over again.

"I know," she said softly. "And I also know that nothing is going to break us this time."


Next time… Casey ends up in court, Brax hooks up with his lawyer and Charlie ends up in the local newspaper…