Jake eased his way into the house through the back screen door off the kitchen. It was less noisy than the front door and easier to sneak in through. He was passed his curfew, but a few hours, and he was praying Casey and Dawson were asleep. Grace was covering for him, again, and she made sure the door was open when he let her know he was on his way home. He had no idea what he was walking into, but he never expected Casey to not only be awake, but cleaning out Louie's room at this time of night.
Things had been rough the last few weeks. Casey and Dawson got married to make the adoption of Louie easier, but then Louie's father returned. They were all set to fight for custody, but it wasn't what was best for Louie and now everyone was walking on egg shells around them and their grief. Grace and Jake had gotten used to Louie and they were sad he was gone, but it was harder for Casey and Dawson.
He slipped through the darkened kitchen and tried to sneak his way through the living room to the far hallway where his and Grace's rooms were. He felt slightly guilty for taking advantage of their grief, knowing that they were too preoccupied to keep close tabs on him and Grace. Or, so he thought.
"Jake, you're late." Casey said as he came out of Louie's room and down the hall, causing Jake to stop in his tracks in the living room. He had a box full of Louis' things in his hand as he passed Jake. "I don't want to hear your excuses, or your lies. I have been awake since you left this house after dinner and you are over an hour past curfew. You're grounded."
"Yes sir," Jake mumbled.
Casey dropped the box by the door and flipped the light on to study his son. "Where were you?" He asked as he put his hands on his hips.
"At the party, like I said I was," he said.
"Did you drink?" He asked and Jake nodded. "Look at me when I'm talking to you, and I want to hear your answer."
Jake made eye contact, slightly nervous. "Yes, sir."
"Did you drive?" He asked.
"No sir," he said. "Rachel dropped me off."
"One month," he nodded. "Get to bed, and tell your sister she's grounded for a week for unlocking that door for you on your way."
Jake nodded and turned to leave the room, but he stopped after a few feet and turned back to Casey. "Dad," he said slowly. "I'm sorry about Louie."
Casey shrugged. "No need to be sorry, it wasn't your fault. And, you never wanted him here anyway, maybe I should have listened to you."
Jake was surprised and a little hurt at the comment. "It wasn't about Louie," he mumbled as he left the room.
He half expected Casey to stop him or call out to him, but he didn't. He just let Jake walk away. Jake knew he was upset, but now Jake was upset too. He liked Louie, he understood why they were helping him, and it really wasn't about him at all. It was about Casey, and Jake feeling ignored by him when Louie came to live with them. Now, he felt even more ignored and even more like Casey didn't care.
Jake looked back down the hall quickly before knocking once and slipping into Grace's room. She was awake, he saw her light on and she was reading in her bed when he came into the room. She looked up at him and put her book down as he closed the door and came to lie in the bed next to her.
"He caught you," she confirmed and he nodded. "What'd he say?"
"That I was grounded and so were you because you opened the door for me," he said. "He's been awake this whole time, cleaning out Louie's room."
Grace frowned. "Really?"
"Yeah," he sighed. "I tried to talk to him about it, and he just threw it back in my face that we didn't want Louie here in the first place."
"Who said we didn't want him here?" she said. "We just didn't want to feel neglected."
"I know that, and you know that," he said. "And, I thought he knew that, but I don't know."
"They're upset, they basically just lost their child." She said. "It's like how we were upset before the adoption was final, that fear of losing him and going back, that actually came true for them."
"It doesn't mean they can treat us like crap," Jake said.
"Grief is ugly, Jake." She said. "They just need some time."
OOOOO
Grace woke up the next morning and immediately noticed a difference in her shoulder. Something didn't feel right, it was tight and the mobility was poor. She tried to move it and was met with pain. She was spending the day at the Intelligence Unit and started to get ready, hoping a hot shower would help loosen things up, but it didn't.
After she struggled to get ready she met Jake once he came out of the bathroom from his shower as he was getting ready to head to the firehouse that morning. "What's wrong?" He frowned at her as she held her arm across her body.
"I don't know," she said. "I can't really move my shoulder."
His frown deepened. "Really?" He said. "Did you tell Dad, or get Gabby to look at it?"
"No, not yet," she said. "I'll go see, you better get ready."
Jake nodded and headed into his room as Grace headed toward the kitchen. Gabby was getting ready in their room, she could hear the shower on as she walked passed the hallway, but Casey was in the kitchen making breakfast. She lingered by the doorway for a moment, unsure how to approach him with everything going on lately and what with happened last night.
"Daddy," Grace said from the doorway, still holding her arm.
"Grace," he sighed. "I don't want to hear it. I told you to stop covering for him, so I don't care what social event you are missing this weekend. You're still grounded."
"Okay," she said slowly. "But, Dad-"
"You're grounded, end of discussion." He snapped. "Go get ready, Lindsay will be here any minute to pick you up, and I have to get to work."
Grace was a little taken aback, but she knew she wasn't the only one his rage was directed at lately, so she tried not to take it personally. She frowned and left the kitchen, grabbing her jacket and bag from the front door and quickly leaving the apartment.
She texted Jake to tell him she'd get it checked out later and warned him Casey wasn't in a good mood. Grace waited for Halstead and Lindsay outside for a few minutes until they pulled up. She was holding her shoulder as she got into the backseat and it didn't go unnoticed by the two detectives.
"Are you okay?" Jay frowned as he turned in the driver's seat and watched her wince.
"No, not really," she said, clearly fighting the pain. "It's my shoulder, something is wrong. Is your brother working? He's looked at it before."
"Yeah," he nodded and glanced at Lindsay.
"Did you tell your parents?" Lindsay asked.
"They have a lot going on with losing Louis," she said. "Can we just go, please? It hurts every time I try to move it or lift my arm."
"Alright, yeah," Jay said and began to drive.
When they got to the hospital, Lindsay helped her out of the car and Jay went ahead to find his brother and let him know what was going on. He knew her history and he was able to take her right away. Jay and Lindsay were both allowed to stay in the room, Jay stayed by the door and Lindsay sat beside the bed with Grace for support.
"I haven't been doing anything," Grace said. "I've been resting it, but this morning I woke up and I couldn't move it. It hurts when I try."
"Okay, let's take a look." He said and he began to perform some tests on her. Grace liked Dr. Halstead, he was thorough and he had good intuition, he didn't judge and he always made you feel well taken care, respected and important.
"It's frozen shoulder," he concluded. "The tissues around your shoulder joint have stiffen, scar tissue forms and that's why moving your shoulder is difficult and painful. It was most likely caused by the repeated injuries to your shoulder."
"Okay, so what happens now?" she asked.
"Well, you go to physical therapy to help regain the mobility and you can take over the counter main medication like aspirin," he said. "But, for now, there isn't much else you can do except wait for the mobility to come back."
"How long does that take?" she asked.
"It can take up to a year before we become worried about it," he said. "Every case is different, and you will just have to wait and see for now."
Grace nodded. "So, no cheerleading and no dancing," she said and Lindsay reached out to hold her hand.
"Afraid not," he said. "Grace, I'm sorry I know it's hard."
"I'm going to lose my dance scholarship for college, something I've dreamed about my entire life," she said. "It's not hard, it's devastating."
Dr. Halstead nodded. "I'll set you up with a physical therapist. We'll monitor you and hope for the best."
She nodded and whipped a few tears from her face. Lindsay continued to hold her hand and ran her other hand over her back. Jay said goodbye to his brother and took Grace back to the district, because she didn't want to go home. Their case kept them busy at first, running in and out of the unit and Grace ended up doing her usual work, taking messages and organizing paperwork.
Grace was trying her best to manage the pain when Antonio walked in. She tried to be happy and supportive of his promotion, but it wasn't the same without him. He was missed, and she was pretty sad when he told her he was leaving the unit. Grace didn't see much of him now because the new job kept him busy, and because he was dating Brett.
"Couldn't stay away?" She grinned at him.
"Just picking up some files," he smirked and reached out to hug her, but she pulled back and he frowned. "What's wrong?"
"I hurt my shoulder, so be gentle," she said and hugged him with her good arm.
"Again?" He asked. "What happened?"
"It's frozen shoulder. Too many repeated injuries," she sighed. "I lost range of motion, so no more cheering, or dancing."
"Wow, that sucks," he frowned. "Listen, you want to grab some lunch and talk? You can catch me up."
"Yeah," she nodded. "Sure."
"So, what else is going on?" Antonio asked her once they were seated in a booth at a diner waiting for their food.
"Things have been tense at home," she said. "You know, after Louie left."
He nodded. "I can imagine they're grieving."
"It's been hard for them, trying to talk to them lately is like diffusing a bomb." She said. "I tried to tell my Dad about my shoulder this morning and he just snapped at me."
"So, they don't know?" He frowned. "Grace, come on, they need to know."
"I tried, Antonio," she said. "I'll tell them later."
"How bad is it?" he asked.
"I don't know," she shook her head. "It's basically a waiting game that can take up to a year. I have to go to physical therapy."
"Okay, well you let me know if you need anything," he said. "I'm always here for you."
"I know," she smiled. "It's just going to take me some time to get over this one."
He nodded. "It's going to be okay, Grace."
The next morning Casey and Dawson came home to find Grace and Jake still asleep. They blew off most of their anger while on shift, but they knew the twins were avoiding them because of how they had been acting lately. Casey felt guilty at how he had been treating them lately and he wanted the check on them, Dawson had been more withdrawn, but Casey had been angry and he took it out on everyone around him.
"Did you know Grace went to the hospital yesterday?" Dawson said when he came back into the living room from the twins' rooms. "Antonio left me a message."
"No," he frowned. "What happened?"
"Nothing with them at co-op," she said. "Grace asked Jay to take her when they picked her up yesterday. His brother checked her out, said she had frozen shoulder, most likely because of the repeated injuries."
Casey's frown deepened and he headed back to her room, knocking softly before entering. She sat up in her bed when he came into the room. "Why didn't you tell me about your shoulder?"
"I tried yesterday morning," she said. "You wouldn't let me talk."
Casey closed his eyes for a moment before he went to sit on her bed. "I'm sorry I've been so harsh lately," he said. "Things have been rough, but that's no excuse."
"Yeah," she nodded. "I tried to defend you to Jake, but it can't be like this. We can't tip toe around in our own home, and be worried about what you can or can't handle. We had enough of that growing up. Louie is gone, and it's really sad, but we are still here."
"I know, baby, and I'm sorry." he soothed. "We will be better, I mean it."
"Okay, good," she nodded. "Because, I'm going to need you."
Casey studied her, frowning slightly. "What did the doctor say?"
"That it's a waiting game," she sighed and pulled an envelope from her nightstand and handed it to him. "I found out the night you lost Louie, and it didn't feel right bringing it up yet, but now it might not even matter."
Casey opened the envelope and pulled the papers out, scanning them over. "Is this a scholarship?" He asked, glancing up at her. "To Columbia College for dance?"
She nodded. "Remember I went for that audition, the day of the train crash?"
"When you skipped class?" He said. "I remember, and I told you not to keep things from me after that. I know things have been rough, but I wish you would have told me about this, sweetheart."
"They're going to pull that offer when they learn about my shoulder," she said. "I worked so hard for this, and after everything I went through I thought I was finally getting something I actually deserved in life. But, it just feels like the universe is always against me."
"I know that feeling, Grace," he said. "But, the world isn't against anyone, and you don't get what you deserve in life. You didn't deserve the childhood you had, I didn't deserve mine either, and I sure didn't do anything that made me deserve you and Jake, the two best things that ever happened to me. Or, Gabby, I still can't figure out how I got her to marry me. The point is, it's not about what happens to you in life, it's how you deal with it."
"We're not really good at dealing with bad things that happen to us," she said as the tears pooled in her eyes. "And, we've had more than our share."
Casey reached out to hold her hands in his. "You're a Casey, we're known for two things. The first is our temper, but the second is our strength. We're strong and resilient, and it keeps us from asking for help, but we need it sometimes. I needed some help to get through what happened with Louie, and you are going to need help to get through this. But, you will get through it and we will all be here for you, so don't be afraid to ask for help."
She nodded and Casey pulled her to his chest. "I feel like I never get anything I want in life," she said. "Except you, I got you."
"We got each other," he held her tighter. "We'll get you through this."
Casey spent a few more minutes holding Grace and making sure she was calmed down before he left her room. Dawson replaced him and he figured Grace was in good hands with her, she was becoming more and more motherly as the time went on. He knocked on Jake's down before walking into the room.
Jake was awake, sitting at his desk on his computer with headphones on. He pulled them off when he saw Casey in the doorway. "Hey," he said.
"I took my anger about losing Louie out on you the other day," he said. "You still missed curfew, but one week is more appropriate than one month. And, you didn't deserve the things I said."
"They were true," he said. "I didn't want you to adopt him, because I was being selfish. I didn't feel like sharing you, and now he's gone and I see how much he meant to you guys, so maybe I deserved what you said."
Casey frowned slightly and sat down on the bed. "When Gabby was pregnant and she lost the baby, Grace said something similar to me. She said she was jealous of the baby and she felt so guilty when we lost it. And, I told her what I'm going to tell you. You're allowed to feel whatever you need to feel, it's natural to feel what you were feeling, but what happened with Louie wasn't your fault."
Jake nodded. "It wasn't your fault either." He said as Casey rose from the bed and Jake stepped into his embrace. "Thanks, Dad."
