Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Title: Adventures in Babysitting
Pairing: MaesxRoy, hints of future RoyxEd
Rating: PG13 (language, mild sexual references)
Timeline: AU
Summary: Sixteen-year-old Roy Mustang has his work cut out for him when he takes a job babysitting the well-known and much-feared local hellions, otherwise known as the Elric brothers.
AN: I think that this is one of my favorite chapters. And I think the reason is because even though there's no actual babysitting, it gets back to the heart of what this story is about: a teenager named Roy and a brat named Ed. :-)
Adventures in Babysitting
Chapter 23
After three of the longest days in the history of all that ever was or would be, days that were filled with the pure agony of being on his best behavior, Edward Elric woke up on a bright Saturday morning with a huge smile on his tiny face, and feeling like an entirely brand new person.
A nine-year-old brand new person, to be exact.
That's right. Today was his birthday. The one day out of the entire year when he could do no wrong. (Well, okay, he could still do plenty wrong, but he figured that he wouldn't get in too much trouble for it today of all days.) And if all went according to planned, this birthday promised to be better than all of his previous birthdays combined.
He hadn't wanted to fall asleep the night before. Instead, he had every intention of staying awake until midnight to greet his birthday right and proper. But he did end up falling asleep as children always did when they swore they wouldn't, and he dreamt of parties and presents and all sorts of wonder and merriment.
And Roy. He dreamt about Roy.
Hence the smile.
"But Mooooooooom! I wanna wake 'im uuuuuuuuup!"
Ed grinned at the sound of his brother's voice just outside of his door, followed by a harsh shhh! from his mother. He knew that Al was just as excited for his birthday as he was, although he suspected that it had to do with residual perks like playing with any new toys Ed happened to acquire more than anything else. And maybe, just maybe, Ed would be nice enough to let Al play with his birthday swag.
… Okay, maybe not.
He yawned and stretched and kicked off his blanket. Although he was half tempted to stay in bed just a little while longer to drive Al crazy, he decided that he had already slept far too long for his liking. He only had twenty-four hours to work with and eight or nine of them were already gone.
Ed rolled out of bed and stretched some more, then wiggled his legs, shaking down the frog-patterned pajamas that had bunched up around his knees. He trudged over to the door while wiping the sleep out of his eyes and barely had time to grab the doorknob before Al came bursting in and almost knocked him over.
"Happy birthday, Brother!"
Al swept Ed into a crushing hug that made Ed happier than he would ever acknowledge, and proceeded to grab him by the arm and drag him out of the room and into the hallway.
"Al, wait!"
"Mom made pancakes!" the brown-haired boy gleefully announced as he pulled Ed towards the stairs. "With chocolate chips in 'em!"
Ah. So that was the real reason that he was so anxious for Ed to wake up.
"That's great, Al," Ed said. And it really was because his mom's pancakes were the best thing in life. "But can I at least pee first?"
As they reached the top of the stairs, Al finally stopped. "Okay, I guess," he relented with a sigh, as if the burden of dealing with siblings and their full bladders was a cross that no one should have to bear.
Ed tried not to laugh at Al's dilemma. Poor kid, having to wait all of an extra few minutes to eat.
"I'll meet you downstairs, okay?"
"'Kay!"
Ed waited until he saw that Al had made it safely down the stairs- at the speed the kid was moving, it didn't hurt to be sure- and then he disappeared into the bathroom to do what came naturally. He had barely finished washing his hands before Al's voice floated up the stairs and through the door, impatient and eager and utterly precious. Even so, the brat in Ed decided to make him wait a little bit longer by counting to fifty before leaving the bathroom.
What kind of big brother would he be if he didn't?
xxXxx
Ed was conflicted. But in a good way. Because on one hand, he wanted his birthday to last forever. But on the other hand, he was entirely too excited to get to all the partying. Which was taking forever.
After eating way too many pancakes- an honor he almost lost to Al and his voracious appetite- Ed was shooed out of the kitchen by his mother, who then set about making the Transformers cake that he was not allowed to see until later that day. He got dressed and brushed his teeth and hair, and then joined Al in the living room to watch cartoons. After a rather insightful discussion about why that damn coyote could never catch that stupid roadrunner- because seriously, what the hell?- the boys occupied their time with coloring books and board games and manga. Ed felt a massive swell of pride when Al agreed that, yes, Ichigo was far better than Goku and his (dragon) balls, thus proving that silly Russell wrong.
Around noon, Nash Tringham and his crew came over to pick up the boys and take them out for lunch while Trisha planned on staying behind and getting things ready to go. Ed overheard his mother calling the man "brave" for doing such a thing, whatever that was supposed to mean. And after lunch, they went to the park where Ed, Al, Russell, and Fletcher exhausted themselves with horseplay and good times. Although Ed was usually aware of some of the looks he got because of his automail, today he couldn't have cared less.
Afterwards, he got home to find the living and dining room decorated with all things Transformers, which was awesome. But then his mother made him take another bath because he was downright filthy. Which was not so awesome.
Later that afternoon, and not a moment too soon, the time had finally come. Pinako and Winry were the first ones to arrive, bearing an armful of gifts and a covered dish that smelled positively divine. (No one could match Trisha in the cooking department as far as Ed was concerned, but Pinako was no slouch, either.) Al was suspiciously more well-behaved than usual in Winry's presence, and Ed didn't let him hear the end of it.
The Tringhams returned shortly after that. Russell and Fletcher brought even more presents while Mr. Tringham was carrying a nondescript bag that contained what he referred to as "Kool Aid for grown-ups". He was grinning when he said it, as were Trisha and Pinako, but Ed had no idea why it was so funny.
While the adults went into the kitchen to prepare food- and presumably to drink some of that Kool Aid they were so giddy about- Ed and his guests sat down in the living room and entertained themselves with TV and books and toys and general chatter. Pinako came out with two trays of appetizers and then distributed all types of party goodies and noisemakers, the latter of which would prove to be a mistake that Trisha would never make again. Originally, Ed had every intention of foregoing the birthday adornments; he was nine now, for goodness sake, and needed to express some manner of maturity. But the lure of being decked out in brightly colored crap proved too tempting to resist.
They played a few rounds of Uno, and Ed quickly discovered that the old lady was a formidable opponent. Just as he was trying to come up with a way to cheat without getting caught, there was a knock at the door, and the entire world came to a halt. For Ed, at any rate.
Because Roy had finally come.
And that alone was the best gift ever.
xxXxx
Ed looked ridiculously adorable all bedazzled in his brightly colored crap. Roy looked down at him over the now concealed Omega Supreme in his arms (and hadn't that just been a bitch to wrap?) and smiled.
"Happy birthday, Ed."
Ed beamed at him and that alone was worth the price of admission.
"Thanks."
He stepped aside and Roy entered the house, whereupon he was bombarded by little ones, all of whom were entirely too happy to see him, including Winry and Fletcher, who hardly knew him at all. Roy placed the gift on the pile and waved hello to Pinako, who was still rocking the phallic hair bun underneath her party hat.
"Staying out of trouble, young man?" she asked.
"I'm trying to," Roy replied.
"Psh. What the hell's the fun in that?"
It was official. Pinako was the coolest old person that Roy had ever met.
After a quick birthday makeover- Roy somehow ended up with two hats on his head, courtesy of Ed and Russell- Trisha came out and greeted him, as did Russell's dad, who was still pretty nice as far as male adults went. And now that the guests were all accounted for, the party could really start.
They played a series of games that Roy had never even heard of, from Penguin Shuffle to Newspaper Sumo to Tacos and Bridges. There was also a balloon popping contest (another thing that Trisha would omit in the future for the sake of her hearing and sanity) where it was determined that anyone over the age of nine was a cheater by default because of their naturally larger hands. After that came Hide and Seek, which Roy graciously declined in favor of blowing up more balloons.
When Ed noticed that the teen wasn't taking part in all the hiding, he decided to quit and join him on the couch.
"Why aren't you playing?" Roy asked him.
"I'd rather help you," Ed said, fiddling with the package of balloons between them. "Is that okay?"
"Absolutely." Roy tied off the end of the balloon he was working on and let it fall to the floor. By that point in the festivities, it was hardly the worst thing down there. He selected a red balloon from the package and handed it to Ed. "Knock yourself out."
They spent the next twenty minutes filling balloons in comfortable silence while children and adults alike occasionally ran by, either chasing or being chased. After one of Ed's nearly full balloons slipped through his fingers and fluttered about through the air, a new game was born.
After all of that madness came the birthday dinner itself, which was uneventful. And delicious. Although Trisha invited Roy to dine with the adults, Ed stubbornly insisted that he was staying put right beside him at the dining room table. Who was Roy to refuse?
And after dinner, came gifts. Ed got more books and toys than he knew what to do with, plus a Goku figure that prompted him to flip off an evilly grinning Russell.
"Edward!"
Roy thought that Trisha really should have counted her blessings if shooting the bird was the worst thing that Ed had done so far.
"What? My nose was itching," Ed insisted innocently.
Ed saved Roy's gift for last. Incidentally, it was also the only time he did not rip the wrapping paper to shreds.
"Omega Supreme!" Ed screamed, obliterating any pretenses of his supposed maturity. He looked at Roy with unwavering affection, even as he smacked Al's hand away for attempting to touch it. "Thank you, Roy."
Roy felt his heart lurch just a bit and he struggled to keep a straight face under the weight of his adoration. "You're welcome, Ed," he managed, hoping that he didn't sound nearly as sappy as he felt.
"Okay, guys. Cake and ice cream in twenty," Trisha announced.
Ed cringed and stuck out his tongue.
"Or cake and more cake for some of you," she amended.
And with that, the group dispersed. Nash and Trisha went into the kitchen to prepare Ed's cake for presentation. Ed ran up to his room to find a hiding place for Omega Supreme while Russell, Al, Winry, and Fletcher started a game of Candy Land. And Roy decided to do his part by helping Pinako pick up some of the disaster that had befallen the living room.
"So," Pinako began. "I hear you'll be coming to visit me next Friday."
At first, Roy had no idea what she was talking about. Then he remembered. Ed's automail procedure.
"Oh. Yeah, I will." He held a large garbage bag open for her to dump a wad of torn paper and destroyed balloon fragments. "I just hope Ed's ready to go through all of that."
Pinako laughed. Roy had no idea why but apparently his comment amused her greatly.
"You are a sweet one, aren't you?" The elderly woman patted Roy's arm. "But Ed's not the one I'm worried about."
She moved on, joining the children and leaving Roy to contemplate her words. While doing so, he tied up the bag and hauled it outside around the house, where he found Trisha sneaking not only a cigarette, but a small glass of wine, as well.
"Like I've said before, you know that'll stunt your growth," he told her.
"Hush." She smiled warmly at him and beckoned him over, lifting the lid of the trash can so that he could place the bag inside. "I have to tell you, Roy. You really made Ed's day with that Oregano Supreme."
Roy almost bit his tongue in half to keep from laughing out loud. "Um… it's… Omega," he said, trying his damnedest not to crack up.
"Ahhh, that makes more sense." She grinned at herself and shrugged. "Close enough."
Roy sighed and gazed up at the vast evening sky. He had every intention of going back inside but first, he just wanted a minute or two to enjoy the peace.
"Anything new with you?" Trisha asked. She paused and craned her head towards the house when she heard a child's scream. After ascertaining that it was a scream of happiness and not pain, she took a hit off her cigarette and continued speaking. "How are things going with Maes?"
Roy nodded. "Things are good…"
Having dealt with a child like Ed for eight, make that nine years now, Trisha was good at knowing when there was more to the story.
"But?"
Roy smirked. He should have known better. And it wasn't anything that had to do with Maes himself. No, things were great as always there. Better than great.
However.
It had more to do with the things that had been weighing on his mind since the night they slept together. (Literally slept.) Even though Maes had insisted on locking the bedroom door in case his parents came home earlier than expected, Roy was still nervous as all hell, and had spent most of the night being jolted out of a sound sleep, convinced that every little noise he heard was the sound of the Hugheses knocking on the door.
But the couple had made it through the night undiscovered as Maes' parents didn't come home until their expected arrival time. Unfortunately, that led to the other thing that bothered Roy.
It was becoming steadily harder for him to remember how to treat Maes as "just a friend" when his parents were home. Even though certain things were obvious- no making out at the dinner table, no handjobs during the evening news- Roy was starting to question everything else. Did a simple glance look too gay? Did the answer to a question sound more like some secret homosexual code? Should they sit further apart when playing video games or watching TV so as not to arouse suspicion?
And then there was the most damning thing of all, the thing that tied Roy's gut into a huge knot of anger and frustration. All the fucking girl talk. Mr. Hughes was still convinced that his son was getting more sex than anyone else in the free world and never hesitated to ask him about it. Roy had to give Maes credit for dodging the questions when he could, but it still troubled him deeply to know that the same man who had no qualms seeing his son whore it up for the ladies would also most likely disown him for being in love with another guy. Especially another guy who happened to live under the same roof- at least until he saw fit to kick him out.
Or who knew? Maybe not. Roy didn't know for sure. But even for his lack of years, he knew enough not to assume that every adult was as accepting as Trisha Elric.
Whatever the case, the worrying alone was starting to drive him crazy.
"Oh, Roy," Trisha said after he finished venting. "I wish I could tell you that his parents would be okay with it. I wish the two of you could come out to them and they would throw you a big old gay party."
Roy smiled at that, thinking back to the "Yay for Being Gay" surprise party thrown by Jean, Riza, and Sheska.
"And I wish that you could grow up and not have to worry about people judging you or maybe even trying to harm you in some way."
Her eyes hazed over for a moment when she said that, and Roy would never know that she was thinking back to something that Hohenheim had said to her when she stopped by to pick up his present for Ed, implying that he would have done something potentially drastic to remove Roy from Ed's life. Nor would Roy ever know that she probably would have done something drastic in return had the man ever tried to hurt Roy in any way.
Mama bear? Roy didn't know the half of it.
"But you already know that sometimes the world just plain fucking sucks," Trisha continued. "So all I can tell you is this."
She stubbed out the cigarette and tossed the butt in the garbage, then moved close to the teen and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"There will always be at least one place where you are completely free to be who you are. And as for getting kicked out of Maes' house…" Trisha shook her head. "As long as I'm around, you will always have a home."
It was just as well that she chose that moment to hug Roy, because he had no idea how to even begin to articulate everything that he was feeling. Plus there was something in his eyes, which was really annoying, and he pressed his face against her shoulder to rid himself of it.
So. That's what a mother's love felt like.
Eventually, Trisha pulled back and playfully mussed Roy's hair. "Alright then," she said, clearing her throat. "Let's go have some cake."
"And ice cream," Roy reminded her.
"And ice cream," she agreed with a chuckle. "Just don't let Ed hear you say that."
xxXxx
With the dining room lights dimmed and the birthday boy seated at the head of the table, Trisha entered the room with one of the coolest cakes that Roy had ever seen.
As everyone started singing "Happy Birthday" (and way off key, at that) Roy looked up to find golden eyes staring at him over the light of nine candles. A wave of love washed over him when Ed smiled, stronger than any he had ever felt before.
And years later, when that love took an unexpected turn for the romantic, Roy would occasionally think back on that one perfect moment and fondly recall the little boy that smiled at him through the fire.
xxXxx
Pinako and a yawning Winry left around nine. Since Russell and Fletcher were spending the night, Nash stayed a little longer and followed Trisha into the kitchen to help clean up.
Roy joined the boys in Ed's room, carefully stepping over the small bodies splayed every which way and taking a seat on the floor beside Ed's bed. They sat and talked and read through Ed's collection of manga. Fletcher had the audacity to say that Naruto was better than both Ichigo and Goku, and Roy was slightly worried that the kid might not survive through the night.
One by one the cards folded. Al caved first, flat on his back and snoring louder than seemed possible for someone his age. Then Fletcher and then Russell, who at least managed to stay awake long enough to say goodnight.
And then there was one.
"You really should get some sleep, Ed." Roy stood up and stretched out his legs before sitting back down on the edge of Ed's bed. It wasn't so much that he cared that he wasn't "allowed" to leave until Ed fell asleep, as dictated by the boy himself. He just hated to see him wear himself out any more than he already had that day.
"I wanna stay up 'til twelve," Ed muttered tiredly. "After my birthday is over."
It was already 11:30. Roy wasn't sure that the youngster was going to make it. But he also knew that Ed was stubborn enough to put up a damn good fight.
"Okay."
Roy tried to rearrange his feet and accidentally kicked Al, who merely snorted in response. The teen carefully rolled him over, which made the child's snoring not quite as bad as it had been.
"Did you have a good day?" he asked Ed when he sat back up.
Ed nodded slowly. His eyes closed and Roy thought for sure that he was out. But then they suddenly opened wide and Ed sat up straight in the bed, yawning, but still somewhat awake for the most part.
"I'm up!" he insisted to no one in particular.
"If you say so." Grinning, Roy scooted back along the mattress so that he could sit cross-legged now that Ed had moved his feet. He was about to speak again when Ed caught him off guard by flinging off his blanket, crawling towards the center of the bed, and flopping back down with his head propped against Roy's thigh, using it as a pillow of sorts.
"... Ed?"
" 'm up," Ed mumbled.
But not for much longer. Although Roy was impressed that he had made it this far.
He brought his arm down along his thigh and let his hand come to rest on top of a nest of blond hair.
"Do you like your Omega Supreme?" he asked. Quietly, in case Ed had already fallen asleep again.
"Mm-hm."
"Are you going to let Al play with it?"
"Hell, no."
Well, at least he managed to answer that question like he meant it.
"... Roy?"
"Hm?"
The room was quiet again- except for Al- and Roy thought maybe this time-
"Today was the… best… birth… day..."
And that was it.
Roy checked the time. It was 11:37. Close enough.
He waited a few more minutes to make sure that Ed was truly sleeping. After that, he carefully moved him back to his rightful place and tucked the blanket around him.
After texting Maes, Roy went downstairs and poked his head through the kitchen door to say goodnight to Trisha. And Nash. And tried not to show too much amusement over whatever was going on there.
Despite Trisha's protests, he opted to sit outside and wait for Maes to pick him up. And as he gazed up at the vast night sky, he started thinking ahead to future birthdays and wondering whether or not they would be as memorable for Ed as this one.
Roy hoped that they would be. For Ed's sake.
… As well as his own.
TBC
