Chapter Twenty-seven: Certainty


Raven burst into Dumbledore's office without a word. The Headmaster was standing by his window. He turned and blinked at the girl…then he saw what Raven clutched to her chest. He took a step towards her and Raven immediately held out the thin volume to him.

"Raven, is this…?"

"The journals," Raven told him, smiling.

"You found them? Where were they?"

"They were in the Mage Room," Raven replied. "But, I didn't find them…Edwin did."

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow, catching the depth of what Raven was saying. "Where exactly were they?"

"Behind Tobiah's portrait," Raven replied in a falsely light voice. "There was a hidden space behind it. The journals are there—along with a rather heavy box. I've not looked into the box yet."

Dumbledore stopped and considered a moment. "So, you have the journals."

"Now all that's left is to read them." Raven took back the journal in Dumbledore's hand and held it close. "And pray he left me something I can use."

"Let me call for Severus," Dumbledore said. "He'll want to know at once."

Not five minutes later, Snape appeared at the door, entering without even pausing to knock. "The journals?"

Raven laughed, grinning with elation. "I've got them," she told him, looking up at him. "Sev, I might be alright. If I'm right, and Tobiah figured out what Slytherin was trying to do, then he might have a way to break this link." She held up the journal with a feral grin. "This is my best chance. If I can sever the link, then Voldemort can no longer hurt me."

"He may seek to kill you then, Raven," Dumbledore told her. "If you are no longer a pawn he can use—"

"I'm aware of that," Raven said, glancing at the Headmaster. But her eyes snapped back to Snape. "Severus, if I manage this—if I find a way to break the link and free myself—I'll have to leave Hogwarts—I'd have to leave the Wizarding world altogether."

Snape stared at her. "What? Why would you have to do that? You'd be perfectly safe here at Hogwarts."

"I won't be safe until he's dead, Severus," Raven told him. "If I break the link, there's no telling whether or not Voldemort can recreate it." She shook her head. "I won't take that chance. But if I leave, I give Voldemort no options. He could try to hunt me, but he'd fail. With no one using my magic but me, I could risk using a bit to keep myself from his sight."

"So you'd just leave?" It was an accusation, and though Snape was a master at hiding his emotions, Raven knew exactly what sentiment went into the words he spat out.

"Only until he's no longer a problem," she replied. She set the journal on Dumbledore's desk and grabbed Snape's wrists, making him face her. "I'd never leave you forever, Sev. You know that…don't you?"

Snape looked down at her, his face expressionless. "What do I know, Raven?" he asked her. "Nothing in this world is certain, you can't say differently."

"I can," Raven retorted sharply, keeping hold of him. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Dumbledore retreat out the door, a small smile on his face as he left. "Because I know for certain that you are my greatest friend." When he continued to stare down at her, a slight disbelief to his eyes, she bit back angry words. "Do you have any idea how lost I would be, if I didn't have you with me? What would have happened to me if no one pledged to Dumbledore that I wasn't the enemy, if I wasn't able to come to Hogwarts at all?" She tried a smile, but it felt weak. "Who looked after me whenever I broke down? Who kept me steady throughout everything horrid I learned about my past?"

She looked down and pushed the left sleeve of his robes up past his elbow. The Dark Mark was dark against his skin, a constant and terrible reminder to him. Raven touched the mark with a gentle hand, covering it from sight. She looked back up at him, meeting his eyes. "And who understands me better than you? With all my choices, good and bad, you have never judged me, and nor have you excused me."

"How could I judge you when I've done worse in the Dark Lord's name?" Snape said, looking away. "Don't be stupid."

"And that is exactly what I mean," Raven said, drawing his eyes back to her. She smiled, and this time it felt genuine. "We're kindred spirits, you and I. Our minds work the same way and you know it."

"Raven." He felt himself weaken.

"I would never leave you unless it was absolutely necessary," she told him firmly.

"I know."

Raven blinked at him, surprised, but pleased all the same. "You know?"

"Yes," Snape said, putting his hands on her shoulders. "I know. I don't like it. But you're right—you won't be safe until he's gone for good. I just fear that may not come anytime soon. I fear that I will lose you in the time that passes."

She smiled, a warmth to her eyes that was not often seen. She leaned against him, wrapping her arms around him. "You can't lose me—I'm like a bad penny, I'll just keep turning up when you least expect it."

Snape gave a weak laugh and put an arm over her, holding her close. "Brat," he sighed the word. He closed his eyes, a cold part of his heart finally warmed. Then his eyes snapped open, a new thought in them. "What of Rowle?"

"Edwin?" Raven pulled back, confused.

"What of him…when you have to leave?"

Raven glanced away, eyes falling to the journal on Dumbledore's desk. "I don't think I could ever leave him. Something tells me he'll never really leave me either."


Raven sat cross-legged on her bed, four of the journals spread out on the blanket before her and another lay open in her lap. Her eyes darted back and forth across the pages, quickly taking in the familiar, somehow comforting, handwriting.

It had been nearly a week since the discovery of the journals and she had spent many hours pouring over them. There were at least a dozen thin volumes of Tobiah's work in Magecraft, and she was just more than half done with them now.

Edwin sat on the corner of her bed, another journal in his hands as well. He had taken to reading the ones that Raven had finished. He told himself that he was trying to help Raven find whatever she was looking for in them—but in his heart he knew that he just wanted to know the man whom Raven had loved in her previous life. It was something of a surprise to Edwin that he liked the man that Tobiah had been. It was baffling, and a little odd to him.

"It's getting late," he finally said to Raven, shutting the journal he held. "You should probably get some sleep."

"I'm fine," Raven told him, not looking up from the page she was on.

"Raven, if you wear yourself out to a shadow, you'll be of no use to anyone." Edwin reached out and pulled the journal from her hands and held it out of her reach. "I know for a fact that you barely slept last night and it has left shadows under those pretty eyes of yours."

Raven laughed weakly and leaned forward to rest her head on his shoulder. He put a hand on her back and kissed her hair gently. Something inside Raven seemed to click into place.

"I love you."

Edwin pulled back, smiling slightly, though a little dazed. "Why?" he asked her softly.

She smiled back at him. "Because underneath that distain for your fellow man, you can be sweet. Because you make me laugh whenever I need it… Because throughout everything I've learned about myself and shared with you, you've treated me just the same." She touched his cheek. "Because you forgive me before I ever ask. Because I know I can trust you without ever questioning it." Her smile widened and she put her lips very close to his. "Because I know you love me back." She gently pressed her lips against his.

"I do love you," Edwin told her when they broke from the kiss. He ran a hand through her silvered hair and kissed her forehead. "As amazing as it feels to me, I love you. I'm going to stick by you, Raven," he said, his voice serious. "No matter what happens—you'll always have me. I know things are uncertain right now and nothing may come of us together," He smiled warmly, "but when this is all over, we'll have all the time in the world."

Raven smiled too, but hers was sad. "I don't know that I have time, Edwin," she told him quietly. "I've only chance keeping me alive right now."

"Then we'll keep looking for answers," he said, holding up the journal in his hand. "They're here—I know they are."

"I believe you," Raven said, touching his cheek again. A part of her wanted to tell him her plans to run if she broke free from Voldemort's grasp, but she couldn't bring herself to say it. Maybe he'll even run with me.

"You do need to get some sleep," Edwin reminded her, slowly pulling away and getting to his feet. He kissed her cheek and then her lips before forcing himself to walk to the door. "I'll be back in the morning and we'll keep reading through the journals."

"Severus told me that he'd help too," Raven said, wishing he would stay. "He and Dumbledore will be here tomorrow to catch up with us."

"Good," Edwin said, nodding. "Having more eyes always helps." He grinned at her. "I love you."

She smiled back liking the sound of the words. "I love you too."

"Goodnight, Raven," Edwin said, hesitating at the door a little longer. Finally, he ducked his head and left the room before he found another reason to linger.


Raven sat on her bed, rapidly reading through the seventh journal. Snape sat in the chair beside the bed, holding the third journal in his hands, carefully combing through it. Likewise, Edwin sat at the window, the fifth journal before him.

"He's very organized," Snape said, breaking a rather long stretch of silence. "Your Tobiah—he's methodical, his journals read almost like a textbook on Magecraft."

"His intention, I'm sure," Raven replied, not looking up from the journal she held. "All I've seen so far in the previous journals are things that Tobiah taught me himself. He was writing these journals much longer than I thought. The first one dates about the time he was thirteen—That's before he came to teach me."

Silence fell again as the three turned their attention back to the journals. In the back of Raven's mind, as she read on, a sliver of fear echoed through.

It's been more than a week since Voldemort pulled power. I hate not knowing when he'll try next. He always strikes at different times, different days…it's nerve-wracking.

What she hated most though, was the weakness he left her with every time he took power from her. It made her feel helpless and angry all at the same time. And I thought I could hold him off longer than that—I'd hoped when I fought him off the first time that I had my answer. But I was wrong, wasn't I?

But this is promising, she thought, turning another page. I have the journals—all of Tobiah's knowledge at my fingertips—I just have to find what I need to use against Voldemort.

Hold on a moment—

Raven smiled down at the page she'd stopped on. Well, well, what do we have here?

"Mirrors hold power," she read aloud. Edwin and Snape looked over at her. "He has it written here."

She glanced up at them, smiling slightly. "Toby was always experimenting—apparently," she said, reading on, "he was trying to figure a way to store power that you use could later. He tried metals first, rings and bit of jewelry one could wear—they would take the power, but you couldn't use it again. Then he got his hands on a hand-mirror and decided to try that." She grinned at the others. "Guess it worked," she said, dryly.

She looked down at the date scribbled near the top of the page. "According to the date—he was just about seventeen when he discovered his 'mirror trick'. Well, that makes sense."

"So, that's why he had the mirror put under his portrait," Edwin said, brows shooting up. "Well."

"Seems to be the case," Raven said with a slight shrug. She continued reading and her smile grew. "Now we're getting into what he didn't have time to teach me. These last journals will hold the answer… if the answer exists at all."


Later in the day, when Snape had to leave to prepare a class for Monday, Raven moved over to the window seat with Edwin and they continued to read. As Raven was finishing the seventh volume, a knock came to the door, jarring her out of her rhythm.

"I've got it." Edwin got to his feet before she'd fully realized someone had knocked and went to the door. When he looked through a crack in the door, his eyebrows shot up. "Hi."

Clara grinned at him sheepishly. "Hi, Ed. Is this a good time? Can we come in?"

Alexis, holding Clara's arm, smiled too. Edwin grinned right back and stepped back so they could enter the little room.

Raven looked up as they came in and a smile lit her pale face when she saw the two of them together. "Hi, Aly, Clara. Good to see you guys."

Clara winked at her and then collapsed onto the bed. "Whatcha working on?" she asked, nodding to the pile of journals beside Raven at the window.

"Just a little research," Raven said. Edwin didn't miss the falsely casual tone. He took the subtle hint that Raven did not wish to discuss the journals with their two other friends. "So, how are you guys?"

"Doing good," Aly said, sitting next to Clara on the bed as Edwin returned to the window seat. Her eyes lit to the added silver in Raven's hair and a flash of concern crossed her face. "Are you doing okay?"

Raven saw where her eyes had drifted and nodded. "I'm okay—it's just a side effect, Aly."

"Don't know if 'Raven' still suits you, Rae," Clara said. "You're losing your black feathers there."

Edwin opened his mouth, but with a quick warning glare from Raven, he shut it before Aly or Clara noticed. He shared a secret smile with Raven before turning back to his friend. "What, Clara, you've never seen a white raven before?"

Clara shrugged and smirked at Edwin. "And you have?"

Edwin rolled his eyes. "Not personally, but all the same—"

"Oh, stop trying to sound smarter than you are," Clara scoffed playfully. "Aly's the Ravenclaw here, remember?"

"He's right though."

"Aly!" Clara exclaimed in mock hurt. "You're supposed to be on my side!"

Raven laughed along with the others, and felt a strange swell of emotion course through her. As she glanced around at each face around her, she realized what it was.

We're back—like we all used to be when we met. Everyone's laughing, talking, and teasing each other…it's like nothing bad ever happened, like we've never been apart. Her throat suddenly closed and she quickly turned her face away from the group.

Edwin, sitting beside her, saw the reaction. He smiled sadly and ran a hand down her cheek. When Raven glanced at him, she saw that he knew what she was thinking and felt it too. She smiled gratefully and turned back to the others. Aly and Clara didn't seem to notice her odd reaction, as they were both still teasing one another mercilessly.

The rest of the afternoon passed rather quickly, with Aly and Clara there. It was a welcome break, in Edwin's eyes, for it put a little happiness back into Raven's broken eyes. Even he had to admit that it was nice to have the group back together. It brought to mind the afternoons and nights they'd spent in their hidden room, working on the costumes for the Masque.

It wasn't too long before Clara plopped down next to Raven at the window. She flashed one of her quick grins at her, but there was an unprecedented amount of seriousness in her gray eyes. "Thanks, Rae."

But Raven shook her head. "Thank you, Clara."

"For what?" Clara asked, a puzzled frown coming to her face.

Raven nodded to Edwin and Aly laughing on the bed. "For this," she replied. "For being here."

Clara scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Where else would we be? Someone's got to remind you and Edwin to laugh once in a while." She gestured grandly to herself. "Who better than me?"

Who indeed? Raven laughed, bringing another bright grin to Clara's face.


The next day, Edwin hurried back to Raven's room as soon as his classes were finished. She was already halfway into the tenth journal by the time he arrived.

"Hi, Edwin," she said, looking up as he came into the room. She lifted her face to his when he leaned down to kiss her.

"Hey," he replied, sitting on the edge of the bed. He grabbed the journal he'd stopped on. He was on the seventh now. "You know, I'm beginning to think that Snape doesn't like me."

Raven gave him a wry look. "Trust me, Edwin—it's not you."

"Oh?"

"It's the fact that you're with me."

"Ah," Edwin nodded knowingly. "He's being parental, then?"

"Sounds like it," Raven said with a grin. "Just don't tell him that."

They were both quiet as they became absorbed into the words.

"Raven?" Edwin said after a while, looking up.

"What is it?"

"I just had a question," Edwin said, frowning down at the page before him. "You're farther along than me—does Tobiah explain exactly what the—the 'In-Between' is? He's mentioned it several times here, but I can't figure it."

"He does, actually," Raven replied. "It's a dimension, a plane of existence—well, sort of between this world and…the next. He describes it in the later journals, but there isn't much to describe—it's a…black field. Nothingness."

Edwin frowned. "How does he know what it looks like?"

"He says he's seen it."

"How?"

Raven shrugged. "Meditation," she said dryly.

"But why is it so important to Magecraft?" Edwin asked. "That's what I can't really figure."

"He says that if one can focus on the power inside them long and hard enough, you'll find yourself there, in the In-Between. Once there, you can pull upon a greater amount of power without doing so much damage to yourself."

Edwin looked impressed. "Sounds useful."

"It does…doesn't it?"