Special thanks to alwaysadreamer, lo_ashley, imagineyourlife, caseymasey1, nikiheartsniley and 1MileyRayCyrus1 on twitter for helping me out when I got a little stuck :) You should all go thank them!
"When do you think she's gonna wake up?" Nick asks softly.
"I don't know... Soon, probably. She's probably exhausted, her body needs time to reboot."
I know that voice. It's her, the home wrecker. Seriously, she has the nerve to be here now?
I crack one eye open just a little and I see them both sitting on the couch together. That sight alone makes me want to throw up. I can actually feel my stomach clenching. And then I realize that she's fucking holding his hand. Seriously? In my hospital room? Doesn't she have any shame?
Although, I can't really blame Demi. After all, apparently Nick is very good at lying and making girls fall for him even though all he wants is to jerk them around and screw around behind their backs. No. It's not Demi's fault. It's the stupid asshole next to her.
Or maybe it's my fault. Maybe I'm not good enough for him. Maybe he doesn't really love me. But then why would he waste his time with me? I'm just too confused, too sad, and too angry to figure anything out.
"I'm gonna go find Joe," Demi says getting up, "Make sure he didn't get lost on this way back from the vending machine," she jokes. Nick doesn't laugh but instead just nods solemnly and then looks at me. I quickly shut my eye so he doesn't notice I'm awake.
When she's finally gone, I hear him get up off the couch and take a few steps forward. I can feel his presence right in front of me and it's hard to ignore the butterflies in my stomach. Why does he still have this affect on me?
"Mi," he murmurs softly and runs his hand though my hair. I try not to shiver at his touch, but it's so hard, especially when he uses my special nickname, "I know you need rest, baby, but I need you to wake up just so that I know you're okay."
And then the anger sets in again. He needs to know that I'm okay? Was he thinking about whether I'd be okay or not when I found out he was cheating on me? My eyes fly open and I swat his hand away.
"Miley!" he cries, "I'm sorry. Did I hurt you? I didn't mean to touch your bruise..."
Bruise? I sit up and touch my temple then wince in pain as I feel the tender wound. Ouch. How did I not notice that before? I also realize that I have an IV going into my hand. I feel faint just looking at it.
"You're awake," he says, sounding so happy... But I know it's a lie. His arms wrap around me, but I don't move. I don't sink into him but I don't pull away quite yet either. But then I imagine his arms around her this way and I start crying. They're not loud sobs just quiet tears that stream continuously down my face. It takes Nick a long time to realize that I'm crying, but he doesn't let go when he does.
"Baby, what's wrong? Shh, stop crying, Mi. Talk to me please," he begs. How dare him. I feel disgusting just having him touch me. I start trying to push him away from me, but he won't budge. If anything he holds me tighter.
"Let go," I demand, trying in vain to push him away from me.
"What? Miley, what's wrong?"
"I saw you," I cry, more tears spilling down my face and running down my chin and neck, "I saw you, I saw you, I saw you," I repeat, twisting and turning to get him off of me.
"You saw me what?" Nick asks with confusion in his voice. Yeah, okay, Nick play dumb. It's not going to change what I saw.
I continue shaking and crying and I feel his arms shift from around me to my shoulders.
"Miley, look at me," he orders, but I can't. I can't see his face because I know his warm brown eyes and his soft curls will make me go weak.
"No!" I say and close my eyes, causing more tears to spill out.
"Miley, I can't fix it until you tell me what's wrong!"
"I saw you kiss her!" I finally say. But it's more like a shriek; it literally tears at my vocal chords leaving my throat feeling raw and sore.
"What?" Nick yells back, "Kiss who?"
"What did you do to her?" I hear a third voice yell at him. Oh no, sweetie. Not him. You. As in both of you. Both of you did this to me.
"I don't know!" Nick shouts back at Demi. Good. I'm glad they're fighting. See? They're already yelling at each other, they're destined to fail.
I try to slip out from under his grip, but he slides his arms around my shoulders.
"Well she wouldn't be crying unless you did something to her!"
"He cheated!" I cry out again.
"You did what?" a fourth, male voice adds into the noise. Joe, I realize.
"I didn't!" Nick insists, trying to rock me back and forth, "I don't know what she's talking about." And that just makes me snap.
"Yes, you did," I sob, finally opening my eyes and blinking through the tears, I try for the millionth time to get him off of me.
"Let go of her," Demi demands and then tries to wrap her arms around me. Oh hell no. I reach up and smack her arms away and she looks back at me shocked.
"You," I point to Demi, "and you," I move my finger to Nick, "are going on tour. And you didn't tell me. I saw you two kiss. I know all about you!"
"What?" Joe says looking between Demi and Nick after a moment of awkward silence.
"Joe. You know that's not true," Demi says a lot quieter than she was before. She turns around and takes a step towards him in the doorway, "I would never cheat on you."
"What about the tour, Demi?" Joe asks just as quietly back.
"I-I..." Demi stutters nervously.
"So if you've been lying about that who knows what else you'd lie about."
Demi's silent, but she looks at Nick. Bad move. Nick looks away from her though and instead turns to me.
"Mi... Nothing happened between Demi and me."
"I saw you two together!"
"We were just talking about the tour, baby. We just talked to the tour coordinator and we were discussing things..."
"I saw it!" I insist.
"No, you didn't, Miley," Demi interrupts, "Nothing is going on between Nick and I."
"Yes there is!" why are they still trying to deny it? I try to conjure the image of them kissing back into my mind, but I can't recall it. I remember walking down the hallway. I remember the door open and I remember seeing them sitting closely, but then... nothing. Why can't I remember it? "There is!" I insist again but I'm partially talking to myself, "You guys had sex and now you're having an affair!"
Demi whips around to face Nick, "You told her?" she cries, "I can't believe you!"
"So it's true?" Joe asks angrily.
It suddenly occurs to me that Joe didn't know. Oh shit. That was a bad move. I didn't mean for Joe to get hurt. But how was I supposed to know? You'd think Nick would tell his own brother...
"You know what..." Joe says angrily, clenching his fists at his sides, "I don't even want to know... Let me know when you've figured out what, or who, you want," with that Joe walks out of the hospital room.
"Demi-"
"Don't, Nick," she says holding up her hand.
"Sorry," I say weakly, "I didn't know..." I trail off and look at Nick.
"It's fine," Demi says taking a deep breath, but I can tell she's just trying to be brave. I'm suddenly struck by how sincere she seems. Would someone who was having an affair really look that torn up? It's not just guilt in her eyes, but pure hurt and sadness. "I'm just gonna go find him and I can fix this. I can fix this," she repeats determinedly and then walks out too.
"I knew he liked her," Nick says quietly once she's gone, "That's why I didn't tell him..."
I nod and let that information sink in.
"Mi... I've done some things that I'm not proud of. I'm not perfect. But I can absolutely promise you from the bottom of my heart that I have never, never cheated on you or thought about cheating on you," he says looking at me desperately. I try to remember the kiss again, but I can't. Maybe it didn't happen. He looks so sincere and I want to believe him.
No, I do believe him. Fuck. I've completely messed up.
"I know," I admit, letting more tears fall, "But the tour... And you leaving me alone last night... And then you and Demi..."
Nick groans and tugs at his hair, "I just... I know it looked kind of bad, but I just need you to trust me. I need you to know that I wouldn't do that."
I blink at him. I wonder how I could have been so stupid.
"Miss Stewart?" an unfamiliar voice calls into the room, knocking on the door frame, "Am I interrupting?" the male figure clad in a white coat with a stethoscope around his neck.
"Nope," Nick says standing up straighter and putting a pleasant smile on his face, "Come in."
Nick reaches out to shake his hand and introduces himself. It's amazing how he can go from emotional to professional in about 2 seconds.
"Sweetie," Nick says addressing me, "I'm going to go find Demi and Joe and then I'll be back to take you home, okay?"
"Okay," I agree because what other option do I have? Nick places a light kiss on my cheek and then leaves the room.
"So Miley," the doctor says pleasantly, although there's nothing pleasant about my mood, "Let's get you checked out..."
After having a light shined in my face and being forced to follow his finger with my eyes, it turns out I passed out from exhaustion and because I didn't eat all night. I also have a slight concussion. But the good news is I'm allowed to leave as soon as someone comes to sign me out. Liability or something. Whatever. Anyway, I've been waiting around for someone to come get me for a while now.
Then there's a knock on my door and I look up eagerly. Nick is standing there solemnly with a bag in his hands.
"So what's the diagnosis?" he asks with a tiny smile playing on his lips as he if he's really trying hard not to laugh.
"Slight concussion and a huge bruise," I inform him.
He nods, "Well, I brought you some clothes to change into," he tosses the bag onto the bed; "I'll go sign you out while you get dressed, okay?"
It's really awkward. We're not exactly fighting, but we're definitely not being our usual selves. It's like we're walking on eggshells and I hate it, but I don't know what to do to fix it. My insecurities are hovering around us like fog that makes it hard to see ahead. I want to be with him and I want to trust him, but sometimes it's just so hard to believe he's mine.
So instead I get up and take off the hospital gown and put on the jeans and sweatshirt that Nick brought for me. There's another knock on the door and I call for the person to come in.
"Ready?" Nick asks and I nod. He comes forward and reaches around me to pull my hood up. He adjusts it and I realize he's trying to cover the bruise on my temple. I look at him questioningly.
"Paparazzi found us. We already released a statement that you fainted and sustained a head injury, but there's no need for everyone to see it," then he turns around to leave the room and I follow him.
The only sound the whole way to the elevator is the sound of our feet on the linoleum. Music plays softly in the elevator so at least it's not completely silent. We reach the door to the outside and Nick grabs my hand dutifully. I can't help but think that he did it because he had to, not because he wanted to. But I push that thought aside as we go through the doors and are attacked with questions. I keep my head down to avoid the flashes and Nick guides me through the crowd.
"How are you feeling Miley? Is it true you passed out from drinking too much? Are you pregnant? How is your and Nick's relationship doing?" the questions keep coming, but I ignore them. Anything I say will be taken the wrong way anyway.
Finally we make it to the car and Nick opens the door for me and closes it once I'm situated. He walks around to the driver's side and starts up the car. Silence takes over again and I almost miss the paparazzi's invasive questions. Anything to break the silence. I try several times, but always chicken out at the last moment. I'm thankful when we pull up to the house 10 minutes later.
"You should probably get some rest," Nick tells me stiffly. I wish we weren't like this but I don't know how to fix it, "You go upstairs, I'll bring you up some Tylenol and some water."
I nod and head up the stairs. The most annoying part is even when things are strained between us he's still so nice and polite. But at least that proves he still cares. If the day ever comes that he doesn't care I don't know what I'll do.
I slide off my jeans and put on pajama pants and then climb into Nick's bed. I snuggle against the covers until Nick comes into the room. He comes over to the side of the bed and gives me two white pills and a small bottle of water. I take them gratefully because my head is starting to really, really hurt. It feels so heavy so I rest it on the pillows. I kind of expected, or at least hoped, that Nick would lie down with me, but instead he leans down to give me a kiss on the forehead. I want to tell him to stay, but suddenly I'm so tired that I can't make my mouth move. My eyes droop close and the last thing I hear is the door closing softly before I fall into a deep, dreamless sleep.
You know that feeling when you take a nap in the afternoon and then when you wake up you can't tell what time it is? Totally feeling that right now. It's completely disorienting, but at least my head isn't throbbing anymore. I turn to the other side of the bed and read the glowing alarm clock. 5:00. I've been out for almost six hours.
I can hear piano coming from the music room down the hall and I know it's Nick. I'm not quite ready to talk to him yet though so instead I leave the room and cross the hallway.
Knocking softly on the door I wait for the muffled call of "come in" before pushing it open and entering.
Joe is lying on his bed, looking at the ceiling and apparently doing nothing. There's no music playing and he's barely moving. If his eyes weren't open I probably would have thought it was asleep.
"Hi," I say softly, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.
"Hey," Joe replies sullenly before sitting up and patting the spot next to him. I relax. Okay, at least he doesn't completely hate me. He could have just kicked me out or not let me in at all.
"Ouch," he says wincing when he sees my bruise, "That looks like it hurts."
I shake my head a little, "Not that much anymore..."
"Nick and Demi completely freaked when they saw you fall," he tells me, "Demi was screaming and Nick was as white as a ghost. He didn't leave your hospital room all night even though they tried to make him. I honestly don't think he slept at all."
Gee, thanks Joe, that's just what I needed: a reminder that Nick and Demi are great people and I'm an insecure idiot. But I know that that's just the way Joe is and the truth is I needed to hear that.
"I really messed up, didn't I?" I say looking at my hands and sounding very small.
Joe shrugs, "Yeah, pretty much. But it's nothing you and Nick can't fix."
"I don't know how."
"You have to trust him... And he has to trust you," Joe says. Well, who knew Joe could be so deep?
"I know... But it's so hard sometimes to know how he's feeling. I mean, I think we're really serious, but then sometimes I'm not so sure if this is for real."
"Trust me," Joe says with a small chuckle, "Nick is completely serious about you. Before you, I can't even remember the last time a relationship went farther than a second date for Nick. Nick isn't that open of a person, but if you knew him before he met you, you wouldn't
even recognize him. You give him this new energy and it's really something, Miley."
I digest that information. Nick has changed since he's met me. In a good way. Sometimes it's hard to know what he's feeling, but he's never made it seem like he didn't love me. But if he was really serious then why aren't we engaged? Does he not want to be? If he was serious, he would ask me to marry him, right? That is the next step.
"A ring doesn't mean anything, you know that right?" Joe says suddenly and it's like he's looking right through me. Sometimes I wish he had been my "brother" my whole life.
"I know, but-"
"It didn't change anything between Demi and I," Joe interrupts bitterly.
God, why am I so selfish today? I can't believe I let it slip my mind that Demi and Joe are going though just as many problems as Nick and I. And all thanks to me and my big mouth.
"I'm sorry," I immediately apologize, "I didn't mean to..."
"I know. It's not you. It's us. It would have happened eventually even if you didn't bring it up," Joe sighed, "We were so close before, I thought we could just pick up where we left off. But I guess when she just like disappeared off my radar that was after her and Nick's... thing."
"You know it was a long time ago, right?"
"Yeah… Nick explained to me. A few years too late, but still..." Joe trails off.
"So what's up with you and Demi now?" I ask timidly. Please don't tell me they broke up for good. Despite what Joe said, I would never forgive myself. And Demi would probably never forgive me either.
"We're 'taking a break'" he says, using air quotes. Then he nods over to his dresser where the black ring box he gave her less than a week ago is sitting.
"Oh, Joe," I cry and move closer, putting an arm around him in a comforting gesture.
"It's fine. We're still gonna talk. We're just starting over from scratch kind of. Getting re-learn each other. And then we'll see where it goes," he says matter-of-factly like he's repeating someone else's words.
"But still, I'm sorry."
"Me too, but I guess I kind of rushed into it," Joe admitted, "I kind of tend to do that."
"Really?" I joke with a fake look of surprise. I'd rather be with laughing Joe than depressed Joe and I know he can't resist someone teasing him.
"Shut up," he retorts glaring playfully and then wraps an arm around me in a brother-like fashion, "She wants you to know that she's not mad at you."
I give him a look and he chuckles, "Okay, well she's a little mad. But I think she's more embarrassed. She's pretty private when it comes to that stuff. But she still wants to be friends and she's excited to tour with you."
"If that's still happening," I say sadly, glancing to the right where piano music is seeping through the walls.
"You guys should talk," Joe says, "You know, he's just scared. He's never felt this way before."
"Me neither," I say with a smile as I think about it, "But what's he scared of?"
"All the same things you are, Miley. That one day you'll wake up and you won't love him anymore. That you'll find someone better than him. That you don't love him the way he loves you."
I clench my teeth in annoyance, "But Joe, that's completely-" I pause for a second and realize what I'm about to say is completely hypocritical. Joe grins at me because he knows I've finally figured it out.
"- ridiculous," I finish, "oh my God, I am an idiot," I shake my head at myself. How could I have not seen that the whole time?
"Nah, you're normal," Joe jokes, "Now go talk to him and fix things up before he writes a another heartbroken ballad," he gives me an extra squeeze for support and then I get up to leave his room.
"Hey Joe," I call, turning around before I leave, "Thanks."
"Not problem, Miley," he says with a smile and somehow I think everything is going to turn out fine.
But as I walk back down the hall, the nerves return. What if he doesn't want to make up? Maybe he's just waiting until we go back to L.A. so that I'm not stuck at his parents' house for a day after we've broken up. Maybe he's done with me. The door is partially open so I don't bother knocking. He probably wouldn't have heard it over the piano anyway.
As I approach him from behind I realize that his eyes are closed as his fingers glide across the keys. Watching him play instruments is truly amazing; he makes it look so effortless and easy. I don't want to disturb him so I quietly sit on the bench next to him. He hesitates only for a second but continues to play. He smiles softly which makes me feel a little better. After a few moments he presses down hard on the last chord and let's it resonate across the room. We both listen to it echo and only once it stops does he turn to look at me. Neither of us knows what to say and it's so awkward I want to scream.
"I'm sorry," we both suddenly say at the same time and then look at each other confused.
"I'm sorry for thinking you and Demi were having an affair. It was stupid of me to think that," I look down as I apologize, "I should have known you would never cheat on me with Demi."
Nick groans in frustration. I keep my head down, I can't look at him. He's still mad and disappointed and I don't want to see it.
"Mi," he says, his voice suddenly soft, he grasps my chin gently and tugs on it so I'm forced to look at him, "I'd never cheat on you with anyone. You know that right?"
I shrug. I mean, in theory I know that. But there are tons of girls that Nick hasn't met yet who are prettier than me, more secure than me, more talented than me, more sexual than me, skinnier than me, etc. If one of them came along, why wouldn't Nick cheat on me?
"Mi, come on. I love you. I would never ever cheat on you," he says, his eyes begging for me to believe him.
I open my mouth to protest but he places a finger over my lips.
"Never," he repeats firmly, "I would have to be the world's biggest idiot to ever cheat on a girl like you. What more could I want from a girl than what you give me?"
It's obviously a rhetorical question so I don't say anything. Nick drops his finger from my lips.
"I'm sorry for making you think I was cheating on you," Nick says regretfully, "I just wanted to surprise you. I didn't realize how it might look from the outside."
"I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions," I admit.
"I know, but I'm still sorry. I was just so excited thinking about touring with you that I forgot to think about your feelings."
"Are we really gonna tour together?" I say a smile playing on my face.
"Yeah, if you want to," Nick says, taking my left hand in his right.
"Well, you still want to, right?" Maybe he's rethinking it now and just wants to get away from me for a little bit.
"Yeah, I do," Nick says with a smile creeping over his face, "I love touring and I want to share the experience with you... And I don't think I could spend two months apart from you anyway," he adds, "so it's pretty much a win-win situation for me."
"I want to," I squeeze his hand, "I missed touring so much."
"I missed you. I don't like when we fight," Nick says bringing his face close to mine.
"Me neither," I breathe out.
His fingers run over my knuckles and linger on my empty ring finger for a second. We both look down at it and I blush.
"I'm scared," Nick says suddenly, he's so quiet I can barely hear him, "I'm scared that one day I'll wake up and you won't feel the same way that I do about you. That you'll find someone better. Do you know how many guys would kill to be in my spot? Guys who are better than me..."
"Nick... I love you and only you."
"I know, but-"
"No, no buts. Like you said, what else could I want from a guy than what you give me?"
"But you're so perfect and I'm just me," Nick sounds so dejected. I've never seen this vulnerable side of him and it breaks my heart. Doesn't he know that I love him and he's perfect? Doesn't he know that I would never want to be with anyone else?
"Have you ever seen yourself?" I say, "Have you seen the girls who line up for hours to see you? The ones who would die to have you even look at them?"
"But they don't know me," Nick says frustrated, "they think I'm some big stud who writes romantic songs and always knows the right thing to say... I'm not that guy in real life."
"You ARE," I insist, "And you're so much more than that too. You're the kind of guy who can't sleep without fixing an argument. You're a loyal friend. You're an incredible musician. You're the kind of guy who treats his mom like a queen. The guy who never has something bad to say about anyone. And you're the best boyfriend ever. And one day you'll make the best husband ever and the best dad ever."
Nick strokes my empty finger again and looks up and smiles, "I just want it to be perfect..."
I smile back at him, "It will be. But not because of whatever romantic thing I'm sure you'll do. It will be perfect because you'll know it's right and I'll know it's right, and it will be perfect because we're perfect- for each other."
"Yeah..." Nick trails off and I can tell he's thinking about it by the smile on his face, "it will be."
"I. Love. You," I say slowly and carefully looking straight into his warm brown eyes, "and I only want you."
"I love you too," he says and moves one leg over the bench so that he's straddling it and facing me.
"I know you do," I smile and repeat his actions.
"You're mine," he says, grabbing my chin again and pulling my face close to his. But it's not in an aggressive or possessive way, but in a factual way and let me tell you, it is a pretty big turn on.
"I'm yours," I agree and then I close the space in between our lips to seal the deal. It's perfect. It feels like we've made it over this huge mountain and there's nothing but flat road and maybe a few minor bumps left.
I don't know when we'll get engaged or how it will happen, but as Nick gets up and takes my hand and leads me back to his room, I realize that it doesn't matter when because either way I know we're perfectly in love and nothing can stop us.
*breathes out* it's over. Over 1000 reviews later it's over. I was completely overwhelmed by the response to the last chapter. I got OVER 1000 reviews. When I said I wanted 1000 I thought I would probably get them by the end of the story, not after that one chapter. Thank you so much.
It's been fun writing this story and I'm glad you all enjoyed it to. Stylistically, it's very different from my other stuff (that just sounded like Nick talking about NJ&TA), but it was good.
