SM owns twilight.

Please note that this chapter contains sexual descriptions, it is M rated for a reason people, just saying!


Chapter twenty seven.

"Baby wake up and eat something." Jasper nudged my shoulder as I lay asleep on the lounge.

"Ahh Jas...Jasper it's you!" My eyes flutter open. I must have been asleep for ages, the sky was dark out and Jasper had lit the fire.

"Here darlin' I made you something, it's heated up casserole I found in the freezer, and I also made a banana smoothie for you."

"Mmm, thanks you're so kind. I love you. I'm glad you woke me up I didn't eat lunch, what time is it?"

"It's six thirty, can you sit up?"

"Yeah I had a bit of a dizzy spell before lunch and lay down. Have all the guys gone home?"

"Yeah it started to rain pretty heavily, and I sent them home just as you fell asleep. Come on eat up, at least drink some of the smoothie."

"How was the trip up the mountain, get some good shots?"

"Well, it was great, until it started to come down from the heavens in buckets. I had to scramble down the mountain fast. On the way back there was an amazing shot I managed to get off. It an eagle hovering above me, surrounded by swirling mist and the dark rocks behind it. Just watching it... made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and I stood there gob-smacked, just watching before I remembered to try and photograph it." he snorted.

"Wow that sounds amazing Jasper! I'm so glad you were here to sort the guys out. Has Seth been having any trouble with Quil and Embry?"

"Funnily enough they both seem to be getting on with the painting, without causing Seth any dramas."

"That's a relief. It will make their work go a lot faster if they do."I smiled.

"How was Garrett's session? Was it hard?" he asked.

"No, not hard at all, it was kind of nice, he only asked me one main question and I talked. I got some homework to do and he's coming back in a couple of days."

"Want to talk about it?" Jasper was curious.

"Not really, I'll show you my homework if you like...thinking about it seemed to be exhausting and tiring, even after I talked about stuff about how I feel about my mother. I was wiped out and slept for over six hours."


I sat up late after dinner with Jasper. Focusing about my mother and what I knew and felt about her, with the notebook and pen... and wrote and wrote, my hand cramping up.

I sipped hot chocolate and nibbled cheese and crackers.

It was strange using a pen and paper, after typing so much for years.

I guess Garrett might have had a reason for making me write all of this down using a pen and paper, the old fashioned way.

I was a little shocked that my handwriting was so messy and uneven, it was initially like I had lost the skill of forming letters and my spelling was horrendous. But after a while I got into the swing of it, and wrote more fluidly and confidently.

I started with writing all the facts, that I knew about my mother and her basic life events, dates, name, name of parents, where she grew up, where she went to school, what she did, when she met my dad, when and where I was conceived, Dad and her having a hastily arranged marriage, her walking out the door, and me spending various moments with her, until she got sick of me and sent me back to my faithful, old dad.

I wrote of Dad's love for her and the utter hopelessness of it.

I wrote of her inability to settle, always moving and partying.

Of her always wanting the best, most expensive whatever it was...fluttering around as superficial and shallow... as a thin veneer...a veneer hiding a sad reality.

The reality was that Renee was really a woman without a heart, without any focus, passion or depth.

I started wondering what on earth could have made her, the way she was?

What made her choose a life being a perpetual juvenile?

What caused her to do what she did?

Why did she act this way?

Was it something about her parents? Her personality? Her genetics?

I knew her parent's names, but not anything about them. I had no photos of them.

I wondered if they were still alive and what they looked like?

What if they still lived somewhere and I could go visit them?

How did they view my mother? How would they view me?

Did they know who I was? Did they know I even existed?

I knew hardly anything about my mother's family history, or my heritage when I thought about it.

I only knew what I had experienced for myself...in my own short life.

Why did I think I was on my own... and had become so intensely self-reliant?

Maybe it was because I was an only child of divorced parents, who were too busy with their own lives to really spend a lot of time fretting and worrying over me.

Did they deliberately set out to be crap parents?

No, not really.

Renee was a listless, self-centered woman, with a very short attention span.

Charlie was a workaholic, with a broken heart and an inability to be emotionally vulnerable.

What was I? Who was I? A mixture of both of them...or my own woman?

Was I a hard headed rationalist?

Was I an environmental scientist who had a secret passion for soaring raptors?

Was I a woman who was suddenly discovering her sexuality and thoroughly enjoying it?

Was I a lover? A surrogate? A cook?

There was a lot more to me... than being a dutiful daughter to Charlie, and an absent daughter to Renee.

I was a friend, a pet owner...and someone who was valued and treasured by Jasper, I was someone who was giving my babies to Esme and Carlisle to start their very own family.

I was loved and accepted by many people...Vlad and Steve, Leah and Angela, Char and Pete, Aro and Pia and I felt supported by others like Dr Naidoo, Garrett and those crazy guys at the gay bar.

I went to bed remembering all the loud music, and bodies rubbing against me at that bar...like I was a fertility goddess or something!

As I fell asleep, cuddling Jasper's sleeping form, I chuckled ...if I was so inclined, I could continually hire my womb out and be a surrogate for desperate gay couples, for at least the next couple of decades.

Nah...it would be too weird and exhausting. I would wear myself out having other people's babies, instead of my own.

Jasper reached around to my hand and pulled me close into to his back and I lay right against his back and hiked my leg over his. I loved leaning my cheek against his shoulders.

It was incredibly comfortable.


Jasper rescued me just in time from his mother...she was holding a scalpel in her hand, ready to cut me open and get the babies... I had to protect the babies!

Jasper took me up higher and higher away from his evil mother ...somewhere white and soft like a cloud, we watched the eagle as it rose and fell on the air currents, looking down for prey to swoop on.

Jasper became the eagle and I was the fish in its strong talons. Wiggling to get free, but enjoying the ride through the air...How could a fish ever imagine the world from an eagle's perspective?...How could an eagle appreciate the watery fish world? Could a fish ever fall in love with an eagle?

I wiggled and wiggled in an effort to get free, even flying high, I knew I couldn't breathe anymore! I would die! All of the babies I was carrying would perish, if I didn't get back...back into the water and swimming up stream once again...Must save the babies!

I gasped.

Throwing myself back and catching my breath...I wasn't a fish...Jasper wasn't an eagle...

Jasper came in holding a breakfast tray and sat it down.

"Hey darlin' I got some breakfast, and today I'm stayin' here, cause the weather has turned bad. You want something to eat first, or can I give you some hot lovin' now?" he smiled that gorgeous smile and my heart jumped in response.

"Mmm, baby can't we do both at the same time?" I suggested.

"Ahh, just when I thought I had you all figured out...you want to try a little multi-tasking?" he smirked and chuckled.

I laughed back.

"Mmm...how about you eat your breakfast and I eat you?" Jasper moved onto the bed fluidly.

I giggled and nodded. I reached over to the tea and toast, and he dived under the covers and moved my tee-shirt up to slowly and deliciously play with my tits.

I sucked in a sudden breath as he latched onto my sensitive nipples and sucked and nibbled.

Sweet holy Jesus and all the heavenly hosts!

My whole body seemed alight with the sensations he was creating.

I moaned out and threw the toast in the general direction of the tray and felt down for my beautiful playmate 'slugger'. Boy was he ready for a little action action!

Jasper growled and thrust up into my hand.

"Baby... you're so big! Come up here... I want to feel all of you!" I whimpered.

He chuckled..."I knew you wouldn't take too long eatin' your toast, I want to take you from behind baby. I love feeling your luscious titties, while ploughing into your wet pussy...turn around and face to head board and kneel up...perfect, your ass is as perfectly shaped as a peach."

He came up and licked and sucked at the back of my neck and shoulders. Oh...I was so sensitive. My labia was throbbing and swollen, dripping already.

I loved what he did for me and to me.

He rubbed 'slugger' against my butt and slipped down between my legs and slipped right into my slit...his hands on both of my nipples stroking and tweaking them together with his big hands, his mouth firmly sucking on the back of my neck.

It only took a couple of long firm strokes with 'slugger' and I felt all of him, and I clenched and spasmed around him, crying out in relief and delight.

I craved and needed my man, like I needed air.

He thrust harder and pulled my hips back into him, as I leaned onto my hands, head down and he held my hips firmly...I continued riding out my orgasm...and he thrust harder and faster, suddenly breaking and crying out overtaken by his own orgasm.


We sat together propped by pillows, listening to the rain hit the roof and the bedroom window, sipping our cooled tea, and cuddling.

"Sleep well darlin'?"

"Mm, yeah I even finished my homework before I came up to bed. This morning I had a really weird dream, where you had magically turned into an eagle, after rescuing me from your mother who was trying to cut the babies out with a wicked-looking scalpel." I shook my head.

"Man, your dreams are getting weirder Bella. You have to record them and send them off to Vlad to analyze; he'd get a buzz out of that one you just told me. I'd love to meet him and Steve one day. Maybe we can catch up with them, if we go down to California sometime."

"Oh yeah, you'd totally be a hit in the gay bar! I'd have trouble keeping all of them off you." I giggled.

Jasper rolled him eyes and smirked.

"I know there's been countless women, have you ever been with any guys?" I asked, imagining him grooving to the beat in the closely packed bar, all eyes turned his way, and lots of hands trying to grope and tease him.

I loved shocking him, and he looked like I had just asked him if he had a secret identity as part of an underground organization.

He blushed a little and spent a long time searching for the answer, in the bottom of his coffee cup.

I looked at Jasper closely, the way he was struggling; it seemed there must have been some special guy, somewhere in the past.

"I went through an experimental stage, and there was a guy I used to hook up, with now and again. We did stuff and I have to admit... that I really liked it. With him I could let loose and be all hard and physical."

"What happened?"

"He got sick of me hanging out with women, and him always taking second place. It was sad really, I never felt anything for him or any of them, it was so meaningless...just a kind of physical release for me. I was a sick fuck, doing anything with anyone. I'm really glad I never picked up anything untreatable."

Jasper looked anguished.

"I'm glad I found you Bella." his eyes glistening and he held my hand.

I think he was worried, that I'd be disgusted or upset with him, but I saw all of his past sexual partners, were just that ...in the past.

I didn't care whether they were men, women or purple-people-eaters.

"My life was looking grim and grey. I was so lost...but I as soon as I saw you ...this extraordinary woman standing there, in the confectionery aisle, I found there was a purpose to my life after-all. My purpose was to spend the rest of my life loving you Bella!"

"You never miss any of the others?"

"No, not really. Its kind of like eating various forms of McDonald's all your life I wouldn't starve...but nothing really satisfied me...nothing was memorable, tasty or meaningful...and then suddenly BAM!...I was presented with the most incredible table... endlessly replenishing itself... filled to the brim with the most varied, intensely-flavored dishes, from all over the world, and they are all cooked by one person...you. Why would I want to go back and eat McDonald's after that?"