Abyssal Armageddon

By Inuyoshie

Disclaimer: IF I owned Tales of the Abyss, you'd think I'd update more often, ne?

Chapter 28: IN Which Asch Is Bloody

"Good job Princess,"

"Don't call me that!" Dist napped, sitting in a huff on a box while Dakota munched happily on his chicken sammich. "I will have my revenge!"

"That's what they all say," Asch remarked.

"Well at least I'm not dressed up like a reject! And I think I pull off purple very well thank you," Dist retorted with a flick of his hair.

"HE does," Dakota agreed between bites.

"Can't you just kill him?" Asch demanded.

"No! He's a unique creation – I have to study him first! Dispel such barbaric thoughts from your mind!" Dist screeched indignantly.

"Wow, you're violent," Dakota remarked.

"Asch the Bloody," Asch stated.

"Oh. Right," Dakota nodded. "You do realize your disguise as Luke won't work around Nicole, she reads minds,"

"I just think dreck-y thoughts when I'm around her," Asch shrugged. "Besides, she's too busy moping,"

"Ah," Dakota nodded slowly, quirking a brow. "I wonder why? I'll have to ask Maddie… or Aja,"

"Is Aja the weird blonde one?" Asch asked. "She bursts out laughing whenever I'm around her,"

"She can see the future so-"

"She can see the future?" Dist exclaimed excitedly. "That could entirely illuminate the need for a Fon Master, and an order of… oh." Dist paused. "That girl could singlehandedly overthrow everything,"

"…she would too," Dakota sighed.

"Can we kill her?" Asch asked.

"No no, then you'd have all the others on your ass, and if nothing else Chloe is a walking blowtorch," Dakota remarked. "You'd die. Slowly and painfully. And Jade would poke your smoking corpse with a stick."

Asch narrowed his eyes but conceded. Chloe was scary.

"Well Dist, you're blending in real nicely," Asch remarked.

"Oh shove it." Dist growled.

"I mean really. Lilac ribbons really bring out your eyes," Asch snorted. Dist reddened more, and Dakota sighed.

"I would have put him in that dress Ion was looking molest able in but Dist is too big," Dakota sighed.

"You put Fon Master Ion in a dress?" Dist demanded, snickering.

"Arietta's going to kill you," Asch remarked, snerking slightly.

"So whom else have you placed in female clothes?" Dist wanted to know.

"Just you two. Luke's too squirmy, Guy would pass out from wearing something that a girl could wear, Meiu's too small and Jade would either kick my ass or not care," Dakota sighed.

"Or both," Asch added.

"True true," Dakota sighed. "I'm thirsty. Dist, get me milk,"

"Why you-"

"Tight leather pants," Dakota remarked. Dist twitched.

"Jade doesn't even own any tight leather pants," he pointed out.

"How do you know? Raided his room recently?" Dakota wanted to know. Dist narrowed his eyes.

"You are a bastard," he growled.

"Why thank you," Dakota smiled. "My milk…?"

Dist got up and stomped out.

Meanwhile, on the bridge…

"Dakota doesn't like skim milk. Who the hell even drinks skim milk? It's just white water for Pete's sake!" Maddie grumbled.

Jade (for once) had no comment.

Inuyoshie's Fabulous After the Chapter Ooh-La-La~

Inu: Yeah bitches, I'm back! With something I actually should be writing!

Aja: Oh no, I can't complain about all the Bleach Yaoi you've been writing.

Dakota: I can. I barely get any screen time!

Inu: You've got Dist obeying your every whim while dressed in a friggin' lilac Lolita dress. Seriously. By the way, ever heard of Karma?

Dakota: You mean Tale of the Abyss's awesome theme song? *air guitars to it*

Aja: No, it's Inu subtly telling you that mistreating Dist will bite you in the ass later on. And judging by how Inu writes, you'll friggin LIKE it.

Dakota: Eh?

Inu: Indeed, for in the future, you're gonna get it. My OCs are rarely seme.

Dakota: EH? *pales*

Aja: You're awesome Inu.

Inu: Yes, yes I am.

Dakota: Oh yeah? Then why can't you go one chapter without mentioning Jade?

Jade: *sighs* What can I say? It would seem people actually look forward to the presence of this old man…

Nicole: PEDOPHILE!

Inu: *droops* I can't seem to write Jade without SOMEONE calling him a pedophile.

Jade: *sighs*

Aja: Anyways. Next chapter.

Inu: Indeed. In Which Asch Feels Good.

Dakota: Is Jade in it?

Inu: He's mentioned within the first ten words.

Dakota: See? Hah!