Disclaimer: AMG isn't mine and neither is FMP.

Ah! My Goddess!

Haloes

Chapter 28

Talk to Me

She watched the pair walk through the park from her perch atop the control tower across the street. It was obvious the little goddess hadn't asked the question yet. Keiichi looked far too calm and comfortable for that. No, Belldandy must be taking her sweet-ass time...

Hild bit the inside of her cheek and ran the numbers in her head again. It was always a gamble, manipulating people at such an intimate level, but what else was left? Surely at the very least she could not be faulted for releasing Belldandy, and it should, in fact, earn her a little credit.

And surely she couldn't be faulted for her actions at Argadnel. After all, she was what she was, and anyone who honestly thought she would act differently under those circumstance just hadn't been paying attention.

No, this was on Keiichi and, to a lesser extent, Sif, though Hild could care less what the little viola-playing tart did. This would turn on Urd's feelings, whether the righteousness of her goddess side would nudge out the quiet vindication of the demonic.

Manipulation was so much easier when dealing with simple black and white. Shades of grey skewed the numbers terribly.

"You play a high-stakes game, Milady."

Hild didn't bother turning as the demon appeared on her left, her traditional cowl missing from a regal face punctuated with ruby-red eyes. Violet hair hung in two ponytails nearly down to her feet, flowing around the katana strapped to her back like the Tigris and Euphrates around Baghdad.

"No point in living if you can't feel alive, Ameko," Hild replied with a smile. "I don't play penny-poker."

Ameko, the head of Hild's external intelligence service, arched an eyebrow and said nothing. "I see you let your jewelry walk off," she noted.

"I had a use for her," Hild explained casually. While she owed Ameko nothing in way of explanation for anything, Hild often cut her more slack than most other demons. The two shared a bond as they shared a similar history. Ameko was one of the few demons left who had left Heaven willingly and sided with Hild against the Almighty, a club that had gotten much smaller over the centuries. Most demons had been born into demonhood. They knew nothing else. But Hild admired the strength it took to defect, to choose to be a demon.

That took balls of solid brass.

"You risk a great deal," Ameko warned her again. "Why?"

"Because I did nothing wrong," Hild told her icily. "I am entitled. And Belldandy will vindicate me..."

"At the cost of your daughter's marriage?" Ameko asked.

Hild smiled again. "Oh, I seriously doubt that," she said. "When you love someone, Ameko, you're willing to do anything for them. Argadnel proved it. Urd knows that. If, by some turn of fate, Belldandy tries to use the information I give her to break them up, she will merely find herself even more alienated than she already is. Love endures."

Ameko looked across the street at the pair. "I do believe, Milady, that you hold more confidence in their marriage than Keiichi does."

"How did he strike you?" Hild asked.

"As a shining example of mortality," she announced regally. "Able to capriciously pick and choose light and dark based on the whims of the moment. I imagine his conscience still aches, but I doubt he loses sleep over it."

Hild was silent, and Ameko regarded her out of the corner of her eye. Feeling compelled to add more on behalf of her friend, she spoke again.

"He loves your daughter a great deal."

"Bet your ass," Hild agreed with a grin.

Seven years ago...

"Now where are you going?!" Sif asked as Keiichi pulled on his leather jacket.

"Out," he replied bitterly as he walked toward the door Urd had walked through only five minutes before. "It seems to be the thing to do around here."

"Keiichi san, please," Sif begged. "We're all feeling frustrated, but being angry will not help Urd."

He stopped at the door and took a break, the goddess's words taking all the fight out of him. "I don't know how to help her, Sif," he said. "I mean... I can't imagine what she's going through right now."

"But likewise she cannot understand what you're going through," Sif told him. "And in that there is a bond you share." She paused and shook her head. "Keiichi san... I am sorry for your loss. And I'm sorry that the things you love seem to keep being... taken away from you... But now is the time to cling to your loved ones, not push them away."

"Loved ones," he sighed, leaning against the doorframe. "She doesn't know."

Sif blinked. "Know what?"

Keiichi looked at her sadly. "That Peorth dropped the dime on her. Urd thinks she's keeping a secret, and God knows what she'll do when she finds out it's old news."

The blonde smiled nervously. "I imagine Peorth kun will want to find her entertainment elsewhere..."

"She's leaving," Keiichi told her in no uncertain terms. "She's been trying to manipulate me all this time... for my 'own good,' of course."

"That was... nice of her?" Sif asked.

He tapped the doorframe with his fingers as the hints of a new thought struck him. The mortal didn't air it, not wanting to rock a boat that was already in stormy seas. Instead, he looked up at the blonde and bit his lip.

"Sif... thank you... for everything," he told her quietly. "I might not seem very appreciative, but you're one of the few bright points in this house right now."

The goddess smiled, instantly reminding Keiichi of Belldandy. "Keiichi san," she said. "I came here as Belldandy's friend, but quickly became yours and Urd's. No matter what happens, if you need me, I'll be there for you."

Keiichi slid the door open and smiled. "Thanks, Sif."

He turned and nearly jumped out of his skin as a familiar man in a white coat knocked the head of his cane against Keiichi's forehead.

"Moreesawtoe," Mischa growled. "You no come to work anymore? You think, 'Bah! Akilina will merely spring from forehead like Athena from Zeus's?!"

"Actually," Sif said, holding a finger up. "It didn't happen that way..."

"MISCHA?!" Keiichi cried.

The Russian engineer stepped inside, not bothering to remove his shoes. "You shut up," he told Keiichi quickly, his eyes locked on Sif. "I talk to you soon." He smiled at the goddess. "I have not met you, and for that I will punish Moreesawtoe even worse."

Sif smiled. "How do you do, good sir? My name is Sif."

"I am Mischa Anatoly Novikov," Mischa told her, stiffening to attention. "I am fighter pilot," he added, taking her hand and kissing her knuckles.

The goddess giggled at the attention.

"Oh, you haven't flown a fighter since 1989!" Keiichi reminded him.

Mischa ignored the man, but grabbed hold of the message. "True," he said sadly. "I was shot down," he told Sif dramatically. "I had to walk two hundred kilometers across mountainous desert, my knees broken from the ejection, and the mujahadeen hounds haunting my every aching step..."

"Oh, my!" Sif cried.

"You were on the base," Keiichi reminded him. "The bathroom stall you were sitting in was hit by a mortar. You weren't shot down..."

"It was only my advanced survival training as fighter pilot that saved my life," Mischa went on, thoroughly ignoring his student.

"Would you like some tea, Novikov san?" Sif chirped.

"Please," he said, stepping closer to her. "Call me Mischa."

"What the hell are you doing here?" Keiichi asked.

The MiG driver turned and seemed to notice him for the first time. "Oh... Right! You! Moreesawtoe! You no show up for work! You no call! I am not pleased by this! So I come to your home to call you an asshole."

Keiichi rubbed his temples. "Yeah, about that... Look, you're gonna get a call from NIT explaining it, but all my work for this semester is forfeited, so I'm not part of the program anymore."

"I got call yesterday!" Mischa told him. "They tell me, 'Keiichi Moreesawtoe is no good! Keiichi Moreesawtoe is an asshole!' But I tell them NYET! I tell them Keiichi Moreesawtoe is apprentice to THE Mischa... Anatoly... NOVIKOV! Lenin had Stalin, The Beatles had The Monkeys, I have you."

Keiichi took a breath. "Look... Mischa... I'm moved that you'd compare me to... um... The Monkeys... but... well... they're kinda right," he said. Sif looked on sadly as Keiichi made a false confession he had and would make again often. "I crashed the Shinden. My license is suspended. They don't want me around airplanes right now."

Mischa knocked him in the head with his cane. "Bohzemoi!" he cried. "You listen to the little ants on the ground you fly over? You think they understand?" He grabbed Keiichi by the front of his shirt and pulled him close enough for Keiichi to smell his breath. "Flying is miracle, Moreesawtoe," he whispered. "Three hundred years ago you would be burned as a witch for what you do. You fly. That is miracle! And after time after time of performing this miracle, one time it does not go right and people say you are bad? Do they perform miracle? They see you do it, and they think miracle is easy. But it is miracle! Let ants worry about crawling on the ground. You have miracles to perform."

He released the stunned college student and straightened his lab coat. "Now then... you will come and work for me, you are apprentice. When time comes, I do paperwork and make it official for school." He started for the door. "Now, come. Akilina waits for us."

The mortal and the goddess watched him leave in stunned silence.

"He seems nice!" Sif commented.

Keiichi sighed, but smiled. "Yeah, I guess so." He turned back to Sif. "If Urd calls or..."

"I will let you know," Sif assured him. "Now, go and have fun."

888

It took half an hour for Urd to pantomime the gist of her condition to Teletha, who still didn't quite grasp it. However, even if the CEO didn't understand, she was willing to play along. Urd had always been her most... unique... model, and if she couldn't talk, then she couldn't talk. She didn't pay her for her voice, after all.

"So," Teletha said, returning to her seat behind her desk. "Does this mean you're going to stay?"

The model looked very uncomfortable. After a moment of thought, she pulled her blouse down and showed Teletha the top of her scar.

"Oh, honey!" the businesswoman sighed. "I'm so sorry! What happened?!"

Urd gave her a look.

"Right, of course, you can't talk. Sorry," Teletha said. "But don't worry about that, Urd. We can airbrush that out!"

Urd didn't look convinced.

"Just think about it, okay?" Teletha begged.

The goddess thought for a moment and then nodded.

"Good!" Teletha blinked. "But... if you didn't come here to get your job back, then why did you?"

Urd stood up and made a wide circle around her stomach.

Teletha's face scrunched up in thought for a moment before the light went off in her eyes. "Oh! Sayoko san! Of course! What about her?"

The goddess tried to find a way to explain her question, finally giving up and just giving Teletha an angry look.

"She's not here today. Would you like her phone number?" Teletha asked.

Urd's eyes could melt lead...

"Oh! Sorry! Sorry! How about her address?"

The goddess clapped and pointed at her as if Teletha had just scored a point in charades. The businesswoman quickly jotted her employee's new address down on a stickypad and handed the paper to her.

"Is there anything else I can do to help?" she asked. Urd smiled and patted her shoulder in thanks. "Okay... well... think about what I said. We'll work around it, really we will."

Urd leaned over and gave her a tight hug. The mortal woman could feel the anguish in the embrace and hugged back with all the strength in her lithe frame.

"If you need anything, come to me, okay?" she said. She felt Urd nod into her shoulder and then pull away. Teletha watched the goddess walk out the door before retaking her seat and going back to work.

888

If it was one thing Sayoko Mishima didn't expect to see when she opened the door to her fifth-floor walk-up, it was the face of her former roommate. She was so startled, that she tried to open the door with the chain lock still in place, and only after a quick shutting and reopening of the door did she smile and offer the Norn a hug.

"What are you doing here?!" Sayoko asked as she stood aside to let Urd enter. "I haven't heard from you in weeks!"

Urd took a deep breath and began the same pantomime routine she had used to explain her situation to Teletha. It was only after that and a few demonstrations of her speech did Sayoko get the picture. She put some tea on and bade the goddess to sit down.

Sayoko watched her as the Norn sat and studied the one-room apartment. The walls were yellow, but from aging wallpaper rather than anyone's actual fondness for the color. A stove that was probably there since the apartment was built in the sixties sat in the corner next to a tiny counter. The only window opened out to a brick wall, a pink light from the juice bar that sat next to the building filtered in, but was only barely noticeable.

"I know, it's not exactly the Ritz," Sayoko told her self-consciously. "But the price was right."

She placed the teacup in front of Urd and watched her sip. The goddess smiled and patted her stomach before pointing to Sayoko's own.

"Oh, the baby's fine," Sayoko told her, subconsciously rubbing her baby bulge. "I had a couple of appointments today, so I just took the day off. I had the sick leave, so, you know... why not?"

Urd finished her tea and chucked a thumb at the door.

"You're leaving already?" Sayoko asked.

The goddess pointed to her and then back at herself. She waved her hands at the woman's meager belongings, as if to say, "Pack your shit up! Let's get out of here!" The Norn stood up to help her pack.

"Oh, Urd, I'm not going. I just got moved in," Sayoko told her.

Urd waved her hand around the room and made a sheepishly disgusted face.

"Well, yeah, it's not great... okay, it's awful," the former heiress admitted. "But it's mine. My name's on the lease, and my name is on all the rent checks. And I kinda like that."

She watched, mystified as Urd's face fell.

"What's wrong?" Sayoko asked her as Urd fell back into her seat and held the cup out to the woman for a refill.

The pregnant woman refilled the Norn's teacup and sat down next to her. "Now," she said. "What's wrong?"

Urd wouldn't look at her, just continued to stare down at the table.

"Things that bad with Belldandy back?" Sayoko asked.

The goddess finally turned to her and blinked. Sayoko hadn't heard... She drew her finger across her neck, and Sayoko's eyes went wide.

"Belldandy's dead?!" she whispered. Urd shook her head frantically. "She's not dead? She's kind of dead?"

Urd took a frustrated breath. She held up three fingers.

"Three words," Sayoko answered. "First word... three syllables..." She watched the Norn imitate ringing a bell. "Bell... Belldandy...Belldandy! Okay... second word... rhymes with... dot? Cot? Not? NOT! Okay... Third word... Belldandy again! Belldandy not Belldandy!" Sayoko blinked. "That doesn't make any sense..."

Urd took another deep breath and tried to find her calm.

"Wait, okay," Sayoko said. "You're saying the Belldandy who came back wasn't the real Belldandy!"

The Norn clapped her hands in glee.

"So what was she?"

Urd sighed again and waved her hands as if to say, "forget it."

"So... is this new Belldandy dead?"

The goddess shrugged and winced in uncertainty.

"But she is gone?" The goddess nodded, and Sayoko continued. "So... what's the problem?"

Urd opened her mouth to answer and froze. She bit her lip and tapped the top of the table with her finger.

"Is it you and Keiichi?" Sayoko asked. Urd refused to answer, and Sayoko took this as affirmation. "What's the problem?" she asked. "Did he do something? Did you do something? Oh! Did you tell him how you feel?! Is that it?! You told him, and now things are weird?!"

Urd glared at her. "RUTABAGA MUPPET HANDBAG ZOMBIE PRINTER DOUCHEBAG!" she cried in exasperation.

"Okay, okay!" Sayoko cried defensively. "Jeez, sorry!"

The goddess rested her head on the table and quietly banged her fist against it.

"It must be hard," Sayoko said. "Having so much to say and no way to say it."

Urd sighed loudly in agreement.

Sayoko was about to say more when she heard the sniffle. She had to crane her neck to get a view of Urd's eyes, but when she did she saw the tears pooling in them. The expression on the Norn's face said it as plainly as if the goddess had shouted it from a rooftop.

It's just not fair!

"Would you like me to tell him?" Sayoko offered in a whisper.

At this idea, Urd began to cry in earnest. She knew why. Urd wanted to tell Keiichi herself. After six years of living together, and at least two of hiding how she really felt, Urd wanted to be the one to tell him, not have him find out in a "Urd likes you!" moment as if the two were in high school.

"How do you think Keiichi feels?" Sayoko asked her. She was almost certain he felt the same way, but the fake Belldandy might have thrown things off or renewed his faith in the other woman's return.

Urd picked her head up and looked at Sayoko. She bit her lip and shook her head.

Sayoko looked at her sadly. "I'm sorry, Urd."

The girl regarded the goddess quietly and made a decision. "Why don't you stay here tonight? Think things over? Get some real rest?"

Urd inhaled and let out a long, thoughtful breath. Finally, she nodded once and rested her head on the table again.

"Okay," Sayoko told her. "I'll fix us something to eat."

888

"It must be wonderful to have your sister back," Sif told Urd as she placed tea cups between them.

"Yeah," Urd told her with a forced smile. "It's great."

The blonde must have detected the hesitancy in the Norn's voice. She sat down and rested her elbows on the table, her chin in her hands. "What's wrong?"

Urd ran her finger around the rim of her teacup and bit her lip. "Look, it sounds horrible to say, but..." She paused as if trying to decide whether to continue. "...but a part of me wishes she hadn't yet."

Rather than get angry, Sif smiled gently. "It must be difficult," she said. "Normally, it's the younger sister who lives in the shadow of the elder."

The Norn tapped her finger against her teacup. "I think... she's going to make a move on Keiichi."

Sif giggled in disbelief. "Now you're being silly, Urd! Whatever hard feelings Belldandy may have... and you will have to admit they are justified... Belldandy would not attempt to steal another woman's husband. She wouldn't..."

"...Do what I did to her?" Urd asked sadly.

"That's not what I meant," Sif told her with a touch of defensiveness.

"But it's true," Urd told her. "Sif... I've been married to him for four years, slept in his bed for six, and it's been wonderful. And I've tried to keep it out of mind, but every so often when he would touch me or kiss me or hold me... I'd think, 'My God... this is what I've taken from her.'" She paused and bit her lip. "And now she's back, and I can't keep it out of my head... And a part of me is afraid that it's her turn to take those things from me... and I can't help but feel that I deserve it."

"Urd," Sif began quietly. "Love isn't a game where you add up the score at the end to see who wins. Whatever Belldandy and Keiichi had, he married you."

"She wants to take him back, you know," Urd pointed out.

"Now, I'm genuinely insulted!" Sif said. "I'm insulted twice! First, by your lack of faith in Belldandy, who might love Keiichi from the bottom of her heart, but also loves you! And second, by your lack of faith in Keiichi, your own husband!"

Urd sat back, half chastened, half defensive.

"You have no idea how much Keiichi loves you," Sif told her sadly. Her voice turned distant. "It's frightening sometimes..."

The Norn blinked at her. "What do you mean?"

"I mean no offense, Urd," Sif said quickly. "But... with your heritage... you don't really have a firm grasp on what love in Heaven is like."

"Hey! Now, wait just a..."

"Please, hear me out!" Sif interrupted her. "I'm sorry, but you don't. Love between gods and goddesses is a transcendental experience that rises above many physical, cultural and emotional bonds. But you are half demon, and Keiichi is a mortal. And love for both can be very different. It's still love, and it's still wonderful, and it's still pure!" she argued. "But from the outside looking in... it can be frightening to watch."

Urd rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Sif. It's not my fault you don't have a boyfriend!"

"What?!"

The Norn grinned evilly. "Don't worry, I'm sure there's someone out there for you. Hey! How about Mischa!?"

Sif sniffed indignantly and silently let out a sigh of relief...

Relief that Urd didn't press her further.

888

"Every time I think the two of you are about to begin your relationship, something else happens," Belldandy pointed out as she and Keiichi walked down the park's walking path.

Keiichi sighed. "I..." He broke off and looked away. "Belldandy," he said softly. "It's not like I was trying to..."

Belldandy looked down at her feet.

"One day, it just happened," he said.

"When?" she asked suddenly. "When did it happen?"

"A few months after that," he returned. "It's a long story..."

"I've noticed that," she told him gently but with a distinct edge.

"What do you want from me?" he asked her suddenly. "No matter what I tell you, the bottom line is that I didn't wait, okay?! I said I would wait, and I didn't!"

Belldandy looked up at him and saw the tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "But at the same time, I'm not..." He took a few steps away and ran his hands through his hair.

"Keiichi san," she said quietly. "I don't want to hurt you. I can tell you love Neesan, it's just... I don't understand how it got to this. Would you have fallen in love with Neesan if I hadn't been sealed?"

"Probably not," he admitted. "But with Urd it was different, I mean... With you it was like that!" He snapped his fingers in emphasis. "You showed up one day, and I was in love. Urd and I... we... we grew together, like two vines that meet and wrap around each other. It took time, but once it took..." He trailed off.

"And how you felt for me..." she began carefully. "Wasn't enough to keep it at bay?"

"Oh, God," he whispered. He looked up, his jaw set. "No. No, I'm sorry, but it wasn't. Because I was in love with her."

888

"Why do you think he gave up on her?" Urd asked slowly.

"You are determined to beat this issue to death, aren't you?" Sif asked in return. "To pick at it until you find some way to cast blame upon yourself for an imagined sin." She leaned across the table and captured Urd's eyes in her own. "What happened... happened... And could not have happened any other way."

"Destiny?" Urd asked.

"Is it so difficult to believe?" Sif asked. "Desdemona said as much."

"And if Destiny had decided not to involve herself?" Urd asked painfully. "Would I be here today, as I am, if she had simply left things to be.?"

"Give yourself some credit, Urd," Sif told her. "And consider certain key facts: the differences in your relationship with Keiichi and Belldandy's. Consider that in the three years they were together they kissed what? Three times? Four? Said 'I love you,' twice? In the first three years of your relationship with him... he married you. What does that tell you?"

"That he settled?" Urd asked with an ironic smile.

Sif gave her a disappointed look. "You have to step out of Belldandy's shadow," she said. "From everything I've seen and heard, I think Keiichi put Belldandy on a pedestal. He never stopped seeing her as a goddess, whereas he saw you differently. Keiichi loved Belldandy the goddess, but he fell in love with Urd the woman."

"What are you saying?" Urd whispered.

"That because of your nature, Urd, because you, like mortals, walk the line between light and dark, you always had more in common with Keiichi san," Sif told her. "Because the gulf between you and he was always narrower than the one between him and Belldandy. If anyone was to enjoy a successful union with a mortal, Urd... it was you."

Urd thought on this as Sif went on.

"And give Keiichi some credit as well," she urged. "He knew when he first said he loved you what he was doing, the implications. He was not some little boy you tricked. He was a man... telling you what he wanted out of life."

"What if he wants Belldandy?" Urd asked her. "I could never beat her. Not at anything."

"If he wants Belldandy," Sif said with a deep breath, "Then maybe you won't be able to stop it." She smiled. "But you needn't worry. Keiichi san loves you."

Urd suddenly stood up and started for the door.

"Where are you going?" Sif asked quickly.

"I can't tell the future," Urd told her. "But I know someone who can."

888

The silence was deafening, and she hated it. It was as if Keiichi's pronouncement had left a vacuum in its wake, sucking the life out of them both as they walked. She didn't want it to be like that. She didn't want to be uncomfortable around Keiichi. She loved him. Even if he was married to Urd, she loved him, and she didn't want to see him like this.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I... I am..."

"There's nothing to apologize for," he replied quietly. "You have a right to be angry."

"I don't want to be angry," Belldandy told him. "If you love Neesan, then I want to be happy for you, I just... I want to know what I did wrong..."

"You didn't do anything wrong, Belldandy," he said.

She choked off her next argument, knowing it would only circle them around again. All she could hope for now was that the rest of the story would have the answers she wanted.

"I'm sorry," she said again. "Please continue."

Seven years ago...

"Hey," Keiichi said as he stepped inside and took off his jacket. "Urd back yet?"

Sif shook her head. "We haven't heard from her."

He looked out the window where the sun was starting to go down. The mortal thought for sure she would have come home by now.

"Shall we go look for her?" Sif asked him with concern.

He thought for a moment. She was still injured, unable to communicate, and it was getting dark. He nodded. "Yeah," he said quietly. "You take the high road, and I'll go low."

"I'll ask Skuld and Peorth to help..."

His face turned in disgust. So far the other two goddess had done little more than... He stopped that thought. They were trying. They really were.

"Is Peorth still here?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied. "I think she wants to speak with you before she leaves."

He started pulling his jacket back on as this sunk in. "Okay," he said tiredly. "Skuld stays here in case Urd calls... unlikely as that is. The three of us will go look for her."

Sif watched him walk down the hall toward Peorth's room and sighed. Urd was awake, things were supposed to be happy again, and yet it seemed like everyone was even more distant than before.

888

He knocked on Peorth's door and watched it slowly slide open. Peorth regarded him for a moment before turning and silently walking back inside. Keiichi followed her, standing just inside the door, waiting for her to say her peace.

She wouldn't face him, instead resting her hands on her dresser. Finally, he said something.

"Urd's missing," he said. "Sif and I are going after her. Will you help?"

The goddess nodded twice, still not facing the mortal.

Keiichi let out an angry breath. He didn't have time for this. "Okay. Why don't you go check out the bars on the south side?" He turned to leave, when the goddess's voice stopped him.

"Keiichi, wait!"

He stopped inside the doorframe and waited, willing to give her three more seconds.

"I'm sorry," she said, her voice an array of pleading defensiveness. "You're right. I didn't think about you so much as I thought about you and Belldandy. I was trying to do the right thing..."

"If you were so concerned, then why not come and talk to me?" he asked. "Why this elaborate subterfuge? Why the manipulation?"

"Because as goddesses, our role is to make you happy," Peorth pleaded. "Because whether you end up with Belldandy or Urd or me, the one common goal we all had was your happiness. How would accusing you of betraying Belldandy make you happy? How would laying layer upon layer of guilt on you have done that?"

"So you would have tricked me into being happy," Keiichi concluded. "Next time, just get me hooked on drugs. It's easier."

"Keiichi..."

He whirled on her. "Who I 'end up with,' is my decision!" he hissed. "And the decision of whoever that someone happens to be; whether it's Belldandy, Urd, Kiyoshi, Hotaru, a Dallas cheerleader or a purple sheep! You tried to trick me into loving you and when Urd called you on it you ratted her out to me like this was a goddamn soap opera! Whatever she felt, whatever I felt, I'm sure she didn't want it disclosed like that, and I sure as hell don't appreciate learning about it while you tried to convince me she had a screw loose!"

Peorth stood there and took it as Keiichi continued.

"Because despite everything you've said, she never did anything wrong!" he hissed. "You tried to betray Belldandy before she ever did!"

"What are you going to tell Urd?" Peorth asked.

He held her gaze with hard eyes for several moments. "I'm going to tell her you're leaving," he said. "That they need you in Heaven. That should make her day. As for the rest, we're never going to discuss it again. And when Belldandy does come back, you're going to keep your big mouth shut about all of it. And if I ever...ever... hear Sif say that she heard a rumor in Heaven about how Urd loves Keiichi or Urd betrayed Belldandy, I'll know exactly where it came from, and then I will tell Urd everything. Then you can make your excuses to her."

Peorth wiped a tear from her eyes. "I... I never meant to hurt anyone, Keiichi," she said quietly. "I wanted to help you..."

"I'm a big boy," he said. "I don't need your help. You take the bars on the southside. Sif will go north. I'm going to check all the old..."

"Keiichi san! Phone for you!" Sif's voice interrupted.

He took a breath and stepped into the hall, walking briskly toward the phone in the hallway. He tried to let the anger go, but it was hard. It wasn't as if he had fallen in love with Peorth or anything, but they had shared a few nice moments together, and learning that it was all calculated, that it was part of a scheme, that if she had succeeded, he might have fallen in love with her, married her, had children with her... it was a betrayal on such a deep level, he was afraid nothing would be the same between them.

Sif held the phone out to him, and he snatched it up.

"Moshi moshi," he said bitterly.

"Keiichi? It's Sayoko."

Anger was quickly replaced by panic. "Sayoko?! Are you okay?! Is it time?!"

"Time?" she asked skeptically. "Keiichi, I'm only five months along..."

"Oh... right," he said sheepishly. "Look, I've been meaning to get in contact with you," he said apologetically. "But with Belldandy and now Urd, it's just..."

"I know," Sayoko interrupted. "Urd's here."

He shook his head in startlement. "She's with you?!"

"Yeah, she showed up this afternoon kind of upset," Sayoko told him. "I know she can't speak, but she really couldn't explain why..."

"It's severe aphasia," Keiichi supplied. "Basically, she thinks she's saying one thing, but it comes out gibberish."

"Ah, that explains it... I guess..." she said. "I don't suppose you're going to tell me how she got aphasia or what happened to the 'Belldandy who wasn't Belldandy?'"

Keiichi winced. "Look... you know enough about them to know that it wasn't a car accident or something..."

"Yeah, I figured..."

"So... can I just say that a wizard did it or something?" he asked.

He heard her sigh. "Keiichi, one day you're going to tell me everything, okay?" she told him. "Just promise me that?"

Keiichi bit his lip. "Yeah," he said. "Okay." He took a breath and paused. "So, is she okay?"

"She's asleep," Sayoko told him. "I guess whatever your wizard did, it's got her kind of weak."

He nodded to himself. Nyd had warned them as much.

"She's going to spend the night here," she went on. "I was wondering if you would like to do the same."

The boy blinked at the sudden invitation. "Me?"

"You two need to talk... alone," she told him. "Or... at least play a good game of charades. The point is she's hurting, and I think you're a part of that."

His fight with Peorth came back to him. "Yeah," he admitted quietly. "Okay. Where are you?" He jotted down her address and frowned. "You're on the south side?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Nothing, it's just that..." He snapped the thought off and went in a different direction. "You know, you're welcome to your old room. I'm sorry that we... that I... didn't believe you. I wish I had."

He could almost see her smile on the other end of the phone. "It's okay, Keiichi. I kinda like it here. Sure, the Yakuza own most of it, but no one messes with the pregnant lady. There are still some standards among men."

"Okay," he said. "I'll be right over."

888

Urd stalked into the gypsy carnival and made a beeline for Desdemona's tent. Pulling the tent flap aside, she marched inside and slapped a thousand yen note on the table.

"Desdemona, I got money and I want my palm read!" she declared before her eyes even had time to adjust to the light. Once they did, she realized the person sitting on the other side of the table wasn't the gypsy ghost, but something darker. "Who are you?" she asked.

Ameko leaned back in her chair and offered a warm smile. "I'm a friend of Keiichi's," she said.

"Uh huh," Urd noted, slowly circling the table like a tiger with a meal on her mind. "Keiichi doesn't know any demons."

"Quite the contrary, he knows quite a few," Ameko corrected as she played with one of her long, purple ponytails. "He knows Marller, doesn't he?"

"Let me correct myself," Urd said with a syrupy sweet smile. "He doesn't know any demons he likes."

The demoness shrugged.

"Now what are you doing here?" Urd asked again. "And where is Desdemona?"

"She left," Ameko said simply.

"And you had nothing to do with that, I guess," Urd said snidely.

"Me? No, nothing," Ameko said with a grin. "I'm here at the behest of your mother, long may she wisely reign over us, who wanted to make sure that her gift to you did not put any undue stress on your... situation."

"There is so much wrong with that statement, I'm not sure where to start," Urd told her. "Let's start with the gift part."

"Her Majesty set your half-sister free as a sort of baby shower gift," Ameko oozed as she uncoiled from her seat like a rattlesnake.

"Why now?" Urd growled.

"Your last conversations with your mother hurt her deeply," Ameko informed her. Urd started to froth. "She wanted you to know that she wishes to open a new chapter between the two of you. Belldandy's release is a peace-offering."

"Get out!" Urd hissed.

The demoness rose from her seat and bowed low. "I will not stay where I am not invited." She took a step back into the shadows and was simply no longer there.

Urd sat at the table and bit her lip, wishing she hadn't acted so rashly. She should have gotten the demon's name. She said she knew Keiichi. How? When she mentioned her last conversation with her mother, she simply lost it...

She folded her hands in front of her and took a deep breath. She shut her eyes tightly. This was something she didn't need right now.

Seven years ago...

He knocked and waited only a moment before Sayoko opened the door and let him in. The boy opened his mouth to speak, but stopped short when he saw Urd asleep on the futon and whispered instead.

"Five floors, Sayoko?" he asked. "That's not good for you. I really wish you'd come back to the temple."

"Closed topic, Keiichi," she said regally as she walked to the stove. She poured him a cup of tea and bade him to sit down. He gave the sleeping goddess another look before sitting down, his back to Urd.

"So... what happened?" Sayoko asked.

He had already decided not to go into great detail, but also knew he didn't have to.

"She saved my life," he said simply. "And it nearly killed her."

"From the other Belldandy?" she surmised. He nodded, and she took a breath, looking over his shoulder at her.

"She was in a coma for two weeks," he whispered. "They weren't sure she would even wake up, and when she did, she could only speak in gibberish." He shook his head. "It's like she just can't win."

"So what happens now?" she asked. "Can something be done?"

He shook his head again. "I've got three... of her people... at the temple, but there's nothing they can really do."

"What about you?" she asked. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know," he said. "I mean... if they can't do anything, what can I possibly do?"

Sayoko looked down at the table for a moment and licked her lips. "Keiichi... I think you can probably do more than anyone."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"When I was eight years old," Sayoko began quietly. "My mom... got sick. My father turned his company upside down looking for a cure. For a couple of years, Nergal was the biggest cancer research organization in the world. Every doctor or researcher who ever studied cancer was brought in, he worked day and night, trying to help her."

"I'm sorry," Keiichi said softly. "I didn't know."

She smiled wanly. "Finally, she told him to stop. She said the best thing he could ever do for her was be with her. That's all she really wanted. So he gave it to her."

Keiichi digested this as she went on.

"You don't have to cure her, Keiichi," she said with a smile. "Just give her what she really wants."

The pilot looked extremely uncomfortable. "I'm not sure I can give her what she wants," he said.

Sayoko grinned. "Then start by giving her what you can."

888

Keiichi opened his eyes and found himself looking at the Earth floating above him. Sitting upright, he looked around and found nothing but a gray, lifeless landscape full of craters.

"Hello, Keiichi san!"

He turned his head so fast he nearly broke his own neck. "BELLDANDY?!" he cried.

The goddess was laying out a blanket, which she kneeled on and began to root through a picnic basket.

"Where the... What the..." he began "Belldandy, why are we on the moon?!" Keiichi cried. "What the hell is going on?!"

The goddess clapped the moon dust off her hand and brought her blue eyes to bear on him. "I didn't want you to get the wrong idea," she said. "I know you and Neesan sometimes have dreams about me, and you're never sure if they're dreams or visions. I thought this might help you differentiate between a vision from Belldandy and a visit from your subconscious."

"What?!" he cried.

Belldandy didn't answer, instead calmly serving tea.

"Okay," Keiichi breathed. "Look, you obviously brought me to this crazy dreamscape for a reason," he hinted.

"Ah!" Belldandy prompted, holding a pair of chopsticks up. Keiichi took a distracted bite. "And to answer your question, I thought it would be a good idea for us to talk."

"O... kay," Keiichi returned. "What would you like to talk about?"

Belldandy smiled gently at him and patted his knee. "Keiichi san, you need to get your head out of your ass."

"Pardon?" he asked.

"You're taking on too much guilt," she told him. "You feel guilty about the Shinden, you feel guilty about not noticing Urd's feelings, and you feel guilty about not realizing that Titan wasn't me. It's too much. You have to let some of it go."

Keiichi rubbed his temples.

"Keiichi san, really, you need to start making conscious decisions about where your life's path will lead," Belldandy told him.

"Okay, I'll bite," he said straightening up and meeting the woman's eyes. "What do you recommend?"

"In a few months you'll be 25," she told him. "A quarter of your life expectancy, maybe more. When you look back, do you want nothing but regrets?"

"I don't regret anything," he said.

"Truly?" she asked. She held up a brown disc. "Moon Pie?"

"No, thank you," he said.

"You don't regret crashing the Shinden?" she asked.

He froze. "No," he said after a moment.

"But why?" Belldandy asked, sipping at her tea.

"Because it saved Urd," he said.

"And that's all you care about, isn't it?" she asked bitterly. "Urd. It's always about Urd. Not me or Peorth or Sif.... It's always about HER, isn't it!?"

"Of course not," he shot back.

She stood up and faced him. "Tell me what you want, Keiichi," she demanded.

"I... I don't know..." he answered honestly.

The goddess grabbed him by the front of the shirt. "Tell me what you want!" she ordered again.

"Belldandy!" he gasped.

"Tell me!" she growled. "GIVE ME THE KEY TO YOUR HEART!"

His eyes snapped open, and he jerked awake to find a yellow wall staring back at him. He took a couple of quick breaths, and blinked sleep out of his eyes just in time to hear someone whisper anxiously nearby.

"Aim kneecap ballcap net printer microphone?!" Urd whispered from the other side of the room.

"Just relax," Sayoko whispered back. "The two of you need some time to work things out. Just have some breakfast and.... um... communicate..."

"Microwave lampshade violet!" Urd hissed.

Sayoko smiled. "Just make sure you lock up on your way out," she said, grabbing her purse as she started for the door.. At Urd's nervous look, she flashed a grin and waved. "Buh bye."

The door shut behind her. Urd turned and saw him looking at her. Her eyes were filled with trepidation as he sat up and ran his hand through his hair.

"Um... hey," he said. "Are you... feeling any better?"

She turned and bit her lip, nodding quickly.

He cleared his throat and took a breath. "Dammit, it shouldn't be like this," he said, rising to his feet. "Look, a lot of crap has happened in the last few weeks, but that doesn't mean we have to dance around each other like this."

The goddess took a breath and gave him a prodding look.

"I mean..." he began. "It's... Look... just tell me what's bothering you." Before she could fix him with a withering look, he amended it. "I don't mean talk... just... you know!"

She took a deep breath and waved her hand in the air, her pinky and thumb spread out like wings.

"The Shinden?" he asked.

She nodded sadly and sat down. The goddess pointed at him, then made the wave again before dropping her hand to her side and staring down at the table.

"Oh," he whispered, suddenly getting it. "Oh, no, Urd, you can't blame yourself for that."

Urd looked up at him and made the wave for a third time, this time her hand impacted the table top. She then pointed to herself and shook her head before gesturing to him.

Keiichi swallowed and bit his lip. "Yeah, it sucks," he agreed. "I thought we might get away clean too, but we didn't. We lost her." He took a deep breath as the guilt and grief he'd buried started to bubble up from within. "I don't really know what to think about that," he said. "But I do know that it's not your fault."

Urd didn't look convinced.

"I don't know what else I can say," he said. "Except... that I'd do it again... And I know she would too."

She couldn't help but smile a little at the sentiment. The goddess straightened and tried to look regal, but it faltered a moment later when he started to laugh. She gave him a stern look that demanded answers.

"Nothing," he said. "It's just that... you kind of remind me of World of Elegance."

At her puzzled look, he went on.

"I mean... I know you can hear her talk because you're connected, but from the outside looking in, all I have to go on is her expressions and her body language," he said. "Now it's the same way with you. Kind of like an angel."

Urd's smile broadened, almost touching her ears.

"Is that a good thing?" he asked stupidly. "I mean... it's kind of true, I guess. You've kind of been my guardian angel for the last three years... so..."

"Gremlin," she said quietly and shook her head in amused resignation. "Poker baboon."

"I'm going to assume that means 'shut up,'" he said with a smile. "You ready to go home?" he asked.

She paused a moment and then nodded.

"Okay," he whispered. "Let's go home."

888

"I don't see why I have to go," Skuld said as she hefted her bag up to the warm bath and placed it on the edge of the tub. "I can help!"

"You need to go back to school, Skuld," Keiichi told her. "We got everything under control here."

"Yeah, but..."

"Didn't you like school, Skuld chan?" Sif asked.

"Well, yeah, it's awesome, but..." The girl sighed and looked over at Urd, who was standing on Keiichi's left as the group faced her. "I mean... I wanna help," she pouted.

Urd stepped forward and knelt next to her. The two estranged sisters stared at one another for a moment before Urd held her arms out, and Skuld stepped into them, hugging the elder Norn fiercely.

"I'm sorry," Skuld whimpered. "About everything, I mean. Don't send me away. I don't want to be away anymore."

"Skuld chan, you're not being pushed away," Sif told her gently. "I'm leaving too."

Urd looked up in surprise at that statement. Sif smiled down at her. "Keiichi san and I discussed it," she explained.

"Sif's going to check in on us every so often," Keiichi told her. "But we both decided that what you need is some time."

The Norn looked alarmed for a moment, her eyes locked onto Keiichi.

"Oh, Keiichi san's staying," Sif assured her, guessing her concern. "Someone has to look after you, after all."

Urd looked away as if embarrassed at getting caught.

Skuld bit her lip. "Look," she said. "If you need anything..."

"Thanks, Skuld," Keiichi said.

"I would like to speak with Urd alone for a moment, if I may," Sif broke in with a raised hand. Urd nodded, and they strolled out of the bathroom as Skuld sunk below the hot water in the tub. The two goddesses walked down the hallway toward the back door and koi pond outside.

The blonde regarded the blue sky for a moment, basking in the sun's gentle touch, as her eyes closed in joy. "It's such a beautiful day, isn't it?" she asked.

Urd nodded and let out a breath. Sif opened her eyes and smiled at the other goddess.

"I've been giving your situation a great deal of thought these last few days," Sif told her."And while I don't know what the cure is, I think I know something that may help." She turned to the Norn and smiled. "I want to give you something."

Urd blinked at her. "Tire iron?"

Sif closed her eyes and held her right hand up. The sunlight around them seemed to congeal in her hand, twisting and writhing until it finally took shape and coalesced into a physical form. The goddess opened her eyes and held the item out to Urd.

The Norn's eyes traced over the violin in Sif's hand, the polished wood and golden strings a perfect harmony of design and function.

"No, it's not Ameri," Sif told her, guessing the question in Urd's eyes. "This is Midori, Ameri's companion. She was to go to my sister before she... got sick," Sif finished with a bite of her lip. "I think she can help you."

Urd's hand went to her chest, and Sif nodded.

"Your problem is communication," Sif explained. "And what is music but communicating the feelings in your heart to another?"

The Norn shook her head and waved the offer aside.

"You'll learn," Sif assured her. "It takes time and a great deal of practice, but I think this will help you. And really, what else are you going to do with your time?"

Urd opened her mouth to protest, but Sif's gentle smile closed it again. She smiled and instead took the violin from her.

"Don't get discouraged," Sif warned. "Midori can help you learn faster than a mortal would, but it still requires patience and an ear to listen for the harmonies."

The older goddess appeared rather confused on just how to hold the instrument, but Sif was certain she would get the hang of it. She stepped up onto the edge of the koi pond and bowed low.

"You are in good hands, Urd," she said. "And I know happiness is near for you. Don't give up hope."

With that, the blonde hopped into the koi pond without even a splash and disappeared from sight.

Urd sighed and held the musical instrument at arm's length.

"Hey."

She turned and found Keiichi walking down the steps toward her.

"Sif leave already?"

The Norn nodded and looked at the violin again.

"She gave you her viola?" Keiichi asked questioningly.

She shook her head but didn't elaborate.

"You know," he said. "I play the kazoo. We can start a band," he joked.

Urd rolled her eyes, and Keiichi started back to the house.

"I'm going to start dinner," he said.

The goddess watched him go and eyed the violin warily, like someone just said, "Here! Have a baby!" and thrust a newborn into her arms. She plucked lightly at the strings with her fingernail and took a breath.

888

Keiichi dumped some vegetables into a stewpot and went to cut some chicken. With Sif and Skuld gone it was once again just him and Urd. Roomies. Buddies...

Right, whatever... one part of his mind threw in.

He had been up most of the night talking with Sif, going over ideas of how to help Urd, but it was Sayoko's advice that kept coming to the fore. And one thing he knew for sure, Urd wasn't going to get better with Skuld strapping her to strange machines or Sif hovering over her or Peorth pushing her buttons. Urd needed normalcy... or at least what passed for normalcy here.

The violin was a bit of a twist. Sif didn't mention it, and he wondered if it was perhaps a last-minute thing she had come up with. But if she did plan to give it to her, he wondered why she wouldn't tell him.

And then he heard it.

He winced as the sound of a cat being dragged across a floor of broken glass outside invaded his ear canal and started running its fingernails on his eardrums. It was supposed to be "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." He could tell that much, but it was simply...

He growled. "Sif," he breathed. "Now, I get it."

Sighing, he went back to cutting chicken, wincing at every high-pitched screech from the violin. Maybe it would help Urd, and if it did, great.

He just hoped it would help her soon.