Kate didn't hesitate to use her key this time, now that she knew she was welcome in the loft. "Daddy home?" Carrie asked as Kate closed the door behind her. Kate inhaled, the smell from the kitchen hitting her nostrils and immediately making her salivate. Taco night. Her stomach rumbled in anticipation. She lowered Bean to the ground, and kicked off her shoes. "I think he is. Go check!" Bean took off, giggling as she raced to the kitchen, and into his waiting arms.

He lifted her, pressing a slew of kisses into her neck, and flipping her upside down to blow a raspberry on her belly. "Daddy, top it! Top it!" He stopped, raising her again so he could see her face. "Top ticklin me, Daddy!"

He grinned, pressing another kiss to her cheek. "Okay, sweetie." He lowered her back to the ground, tapping her diapered bottom is she rushed to her bookcase in the living room. He turned his attention then to Kate, nodding once at her as he went back to cooking. "How did your meeting go?"

She shrugged off the still cold gesture, understanding that they were still getting their footing back and that his reaction was normal. Instead, she sat at the island, watching him move around the kitchen with ease. "Today was just a preliminary meeting. I told him my story, we set goals, and that was about it. But I'm hopeful that it will be a step in the right direction."

"Speaking of a step in the right direction, I have to tell you something." He turned away from dinner and met her on the opposite side of the island. "I have a friend, a forensic pathologist. He agreed to look at the case if you want."

A bunch of things went through her head at once. Any break in the case was welcome in her book. She wanted to solve this more than anything in the world. It had driven her career choices and her actions over the last few months. But if he found something, she might fall back into it, and she might not come back out so easily. Seeing how this had affected the rest of her family, she wasn't so sure that was the best idea. "You already called him?" Her voice sounded panicked, even to her, and she had retreated further into her chair, away from him.

"Yeah, and he agreed, but I didn't send him the file yet." His eyes were soft as he explained. "I realized a little too late that I should probably talk to you first."

Sometimes, she loved his impulsivity. It meant that things were always interesting and fun, and they were rarely bored. Now she wasn't sure what to think. She took a deep breath and weighed her options before responding. "Send him the file."

"Really? You're sure?" His face lit up as he realized she wasn't angry at him, and his eyes searched her face to make sure she was genuine.

"Yes, I'm sure, but just do me a favor."

"Anything."

"Don't tell me what he finds." His eyebrows furrowed with confusion at her request. She wrung her hands in her lap as she tried to reason with herself. "Of course, I want to know, but I don't want to fall into the case again." She sighed, watching her daughter play with the toys in the living room. "I feel like I've made some progress in the last few days, but if he finds something I will lose it all. I will chase down every insignificant lead I can find, and I just can't do that to you all again. So if he finds something, don't tell me."

He nodded once, a ghost of a smile on his face. "I can do that."

"Good," she laughed, leaning towards him once again, "Because you don't have a choice."

Before he could reply, Alexis came thundering down the stairs, her red hair flying behind her. "Carrie's here!" She bounded past Kate and into the living room, wrapping the toddler in a fierce hug.

Kate laughed at the sight, watching the two girls interact. She met Rick's eyes as she stood. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a little girl to apologize to." She strode into the living room, kneeling down next to the girls who were playing in Carrie's toy kitchen. She reached out and stroked the girl's hair, catching her attention.

As Alexis looked at her, Kate noticed a flash of happiness in the girl's blue eyes before she set forced a frown onto her face. "Hello, Kate." The use of her name without an affectionate 'Mama' in front of it broke her heart, and it dawned on her that Alexis understood more than she realized.

"Hey, Lex. Can I talk to you?" Alexis shrugged and moved to the couch, sitting in front of where Kate was leaning, but still refusing to meet her eye. Kate placed her hand on the girl's knee, squeezing it in a comforting gesture. "Hey Pumpkin, can you look at me please? I'd like to see your pretty eyes while we talk."

Alexis moved reluctantly to catch Kate's eye, crossing her arms as she leaned back in the chair. "You weren't here. I missed you and you weren't here."

Kate felt her heart break into a million pieces as the girl's voice cracked. "I know I wasn't here. I wasn't here for a long time, huh?" She reached out to brush a strand of hair out of Alexis' face. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart."

"Why weren't you here? Why was Daddy so mad at you?"

"Because I did something bad. I lied to him and told him I was working when I wasn't."

"Lying is bad." She answered, her voice accusatory.

Kate nodded, taking a breath before answering. "It is, and that's why you should never do it. Lies hurt the people around you."

"Yeah." She looked away again. "I missed you." Her voice was a whisper.

Kate grabbed the girl's knee tighter. "I missed you too. And I'm so sorry I didn't see you as much. I want to change that if you are okay with that."

The girl nodded, a hint of a smile appearing on her face. "Okay." She leaned forward, wrapping her arms around Kate's neck and squeezing tightly. Kate felt her shoulders relax at the embrace, and she hugged the girl back with the same ferocity. When Alexis pulled away, she wore a smile on her face. "Can you make it up by reading me a bedtime story?"

Kate looked up at Rick for help, who was watching the exchange from behind the couch. Kate met the girl's blue eyes once more. "I think Carrie and I are going back to my place tonight." At Alexis' panicked look, Kate grabbed her hand. "Just for a couple of nights, not forever. Can I read to you then?"

Alexis shook her head, pulling her hands out of Kates. "No. Stay tonight. Please?"

Kate's heart fell again at the thought of disappointing the young girl once again. She opened her mouth to calm her down, but was interrupted by Rick's voice from behind the couch. "It's okay, you can stay." She looked up at him, her eyebrows knitting together in confusion. They had talked about this earlier.

His hand rested on Alexis' shoulder as he met Kate's eyes. "I know why you're worried, and I get what we were trying to do, but maybe breaking up the family isn't the best decision right now." He grinned then as his eyes flickered between her and Carrie. "Plus, I kind of missed having someone around during the day to keep me busy."

"I can sleep in the guest room if you want." Kate offered, her brain and her heart pulling her in opposite directions. Of course she wanted to sleep in the bed, wrapped in his arms again, but she wanted to give him space to process things if he needed it.

He shrugged. "We'll worry about that when it's time to go to bed." He gestured to the dining room table. "But first, let's eat!"

Alexis hopped up from the couch and ran toward the kitchen. "Yes! Tacos!" Kate laughed, picking up Carrie and bringing her to the kitchen. As they passed around the condiments and laughed about their days, Kate was more thankful than ever for this group that had accepted her for all her flaws and mistakes. And she vowed to herself to never betray their trust again, because she never wanted to lose this.


About two weeks passed without incident, and she thought everything was back to normal. That was until she stepped off the elevator one day, a tray of coffee in her hand, and heard a very familiar squeal echo across the precinct. "Mommy!" Carrie ran toward her and attacked her legs, almost knocking her over. "Mommy got coffee?" She asked, pointing at the tray.

"I did get coffee, sweet girl!" She played with her daughter's curls with her free hand as they walked forward toward her desk. "What are you doing here?"

"Ah-prise, Mama! You ah-prised?"

Kate laughed, setting down the coffee on her desk and lifting the girl. "I am surprised! Thank you!" She leaned in to kiss Rick, who was standing next to the desk and watching the exchange. The kiss was stiffer than she expected, and he looked preoccupied. She nudged him with her shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"I wasn't coming to check up on you, I promise. I just know you've had a tough few days and thought you and your co-workers could use a little bit of fun."

She nodded, sitting in her chair with the toddler in her lap. Carrie grabbed a pen and started scribbling on the blank piece of paper on the desk. "I didn't think you were checking up on me, don't worry. I appreciate the thought."

"No, that's not why I'm off. I just wanted to clear that up." His eyes flicked to the welcome desk, where officer Sanderson greeted each person coming into Vice. "It's just, I asked where you were and he told me you weren't here."

Realization dawned and she dropped the smile from her face. "And you thought he meant that I didn't work today." He only nodded, his face grim as he realized just how far his trust in her had fallen. She pushed the tray of drinks closer to him. "I just went on a coffee run. We're beat, we needed the boost. I'm sorry I wasn't here when you arrived."

"Don't be sorry." He told her, pulling a chair over and sitting next to her desk. "I just thought I was past all of that. And honestly, the thought that you were maybe somewhere else again hadn't even crossed my mind until Sanderson told me you weren't here." He shrugged. "And suddenly, I was back in that apartment with you, the case spread out all over the place."

She reached for his hand, holding it on the desk. "Well, you had to trust me at least a little bit, because you stayed here and waited for me."

He nodded. "It was my way of proving it to myself."

She squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry."

"We're getting there."

They were, but she thought they were farther along than they were. "Slowly." She answered, letting go of his hand to wrap her daughter in a hug. "You two should come more often. What do you think, Bean?"

"Okay, Mommy." The girl answered, not looking up from her drawing.

Kate laughed, pulling another blank piece of paper from her desk. "What if you two come on my lunch break with me? Two times a week or so?" She met Rick's blue eyes as she suggested it. "That way, if I get caught up in a busy case like this week, I can still see Carrie."

"Two times a week. Carrie, do you think we can manage that?"

"Okay, Daddy." The girl answered, still not looking up from her drawing.

Rick grinned, throwing his hands up in mock defeat. "Well, the boss has spoken."

"You know you're supposed to be the boss." Kate teased him, her smile betraying the stern tone she was trying to convey.

"What can I say, she takes after her mother."

"Oh, you are so going to pay for that!"

"Don't threaten me, officer." They both laughed now, the awkwardness dissipating between them.

Kate stood, adjusting Carrie on her hip. "What do you say we head up to robbery and visit DiSalvo? She's been asking about you!" She suggested to the toddler, who was reaching for the pen that she had dropped in the desk.

At the mention of DiSalvo, she stopped, her brown eyes widened as she kicked and squealed. "Let's go Mommy! See Salbo!"

"Okay, okay!" She headed toward the elevator, surprised to see Rick still sitting at her desk. She put her hand in the door, stopping it from closing. "You coming?" She called out to him.

He shook his head. "You go ahead. I'll keep myself busy here."


After a few sessions with Dr. Burke, he suggested that Rick join them for one session. She didn't think he would go for it when she brought it up, but he seemed eager to meet the therapist who was helping her realize all the work she still had to do.

"Rick, what were some of your concerns surrounding this whole incident?" He asked at the start of the session, and Kate felt her heart quicken as she anticipated his response. "Well, trust first, both the trust I had for her and the trust she had for me. I mean, I'm working on trusting her again, and I feel like we made a huge amount of progress." He turned to face her then, his baby blues meeting her eyes, and suddenly it was only the two of them working through this. "I mean, did you ever trust me?"

She nodded. "I did. In a way you were the only person I trusted. But this case did things to me. I realized how mishandled it was, and I had this irrational thought that I was the only person who could give it the attention it needed." She sighed, trying to make sense of her thoughts before she continued. "It's just this case, Rick. I don't trust anyone else with this case. The hardest thing I did with it was give it to you for safekeeping." She grabbed his hand. "But I trust you. I trust you more than anything. I trust you with my daughter, I trusted you with my story, and I trust you with my life. I'm so sorry that I ever made it seem otherwise."

"What else?" Prompted Dr. Burke after a few moments of silence, reminding her that they weren't the only people in the room.

"I was worried about Carrie. That one day you'd come back and not realize who she was. And Alexis, who just started calling you 'Mom' not having you in her life anymore. She's already been left by one mother, Kate, and it takes me a long time to trust her with anyone else. I'm trying to protect her feelings here, because I don't know what she would do without you in her life."

"I know, I'm sorry. I won't do that to her again." She felt like she couldn't apologize enough for betraying the girls. "I'm doing whatever I can to make it up to them though. I spend all my free time with them, and I'm trying to be an even better Mom than I was before. I even got the night of Alexis' recital off."

His eyebrows raised with surprise before he broke into a grin. "You did? You didn't tell me you were putting time in for that."

She shrugged, the corners of her mouth pulling upward at his enthusiasm. "I wanted to surprise you. Can you keep it from Alexis?"

He nodded, his grin mischievous. He loved surprising his girl. "Yeah, I can do that!"

"Good! I can't wait to go."

After another lull, Dr. Burke kept the conversation flowing. "Where do you two see this going?"

"I want to get over this hump, put it all behind us." Kate answered, looking at the doctor now. "I want to get back on solid ground again and pick a date. I want to raise our family."

"And you, Rick?"

"I want to gain my trust in you back. The lunches help, and the honest communication helps. I can see how much work you've done, and I promise that it is coming back faster than you think." He squeezed her hand to reassure her. "I want you to move in for real, get rid of your apartment and everything. I'll even look at new ones with you if you want. And I want to marry you, and continue down whatever path the universe has in store for us. I want to work through our rough stuff and celebrate the good."

She rested her head on his shoulder. "I'd like that."


Alexis wanted to go ice skating for her eighth birthday, so they found a place that they could rent out. Kate did everything she could to help organize it, trying to be as involved as possible. She skated around the rink with Alexis like they did at the cabin, and Carrie was just as independent as she was at Christmas. She hated the walker thing that the rink had for her, and instead decided to hold onto the edge as she worked her way around. The party was a hit with all of Alexis' friends, and they begged her to do it again next year.

The girls woke Rick on his birthday by jumping on his bed, Kate carrying in a plate of the birthday pancakes her mother used to make for her. She had to work, but she stayed as long as she could in the morning, not looking forward to leaving the energy and enthusiasm in that apartment.

That night she stopped by her building to get any mail that had been gathering dust in her mailbox. More out of curiosity than anything, she entered the apartment. The table was bare, no hint of the case that had consumed her life about two months ago. It seemed small without anyone in it. Carrie's room looked almost bare. All her favorite toys were at Rick's. The clothes here didn't fit her anymore. The bookcase in the living room was half bare, all of her favorite books also at Rick's place, where she spent most of her time. There hadn't been food in the refrigerator for months, she didn't need roaches in the apartment eating food that she had forgotten about. Even her room felt strange. Her bed was stripped from the last time she washed the sheets, but she hadn't needed to put it back together. Her closet was almost bare, her important knick-knacks cleared off of the dresser, and pictures tucked away somewhere else. The apartment held memories, of course, but not as many as it used to. She realized that the memories followed the people, not the place, and all her important memories were at home, with her family. Maybe it was time to give up this place she didn't need.

Kate stayed out all day long on the day of Alexis' violin recital. The girl thought Kate was at work, which had been a source of contention between her and Rick for weeks. "I don't want work to be an excuse all the time." She had told him. Using work as a lie had been the source of all her problems.

"Yeah, but what other reason is there for you to miss the recital? Nothing you could lie about would be important enough for you to miss it."

"Doctor's appointment?"

He shook his head, his nose wrinkling. "No, and if you are gone all day at a doctor's appointment, she'll just start to worry that you are sick or something."

"Running errands?"

"What errands are that important?" She hated it when he was the logical one. He had wrapped his arms around her from behind, his head resting on her shoulder. "She's used to you working, and you have had some tough cases. As long as you actually show up, it won't upset her."

"I know." She conceded. "I just don't want to fall into my old habits."

He pressed a kiss to her cheek before releasing her. "You won't. I have faith in you."

So all day she had run errands. She filed a change of address form, and went to her apartment to pack the important things that she needed. Old pots went into a box, even though they didn't need more. She packed her mother's signed Richard Castle novels, books she hadn't told Rick that she had. She saved some of the baby stuff in a box, because she didn't know what was going to happen in the future and some of it might come in handy, but put all of Carrie's unwanted toys into a donation bin. She had plenty, they didn't need more.

The knock at her door pulled her out of her trance, and she untangled herself from the floor in front of Carrie's dressers and headed into the living room. Rick opened the door, Carrie on his shoulders. "Hi, Mommy!"

Kate's grin widened as she reached up for her daughter. "Hi, Bean! Did you have fun today?"

"Yep! Watched Aurora and Tinkerbell!"

"You did?" She pecked Rick on the lips, leaning into his embrace. "I'm guessing it's almost time to go?"

He nodded. "Yep. I just dropped her off and told her I had to run and do something really quick. She doesn't suspect a thing."

"Perfect!" Kate ran to the kitchen, picking up a large bouquet of flowers and returning to him at the door. "What do you think, I'll carry the toddler, and you carry the flowers?"

He took the bouquet from her arms. "When did you have time to get these?"

"I ordered them weeks ago. I picked them up on my way back from the post office today." He closed the door behind them as they left the apartment. "I officially live with you now. At least that's where my mail will go."

His hand rested in the small of her back as they made their way down the hallway. "Now we just have to get the rest of your stuff out."

"Working on it." She assured him, leaning into his embrace.

The auditorium was packed when they arrived, but Martha managed to snag them some seats in the middle of the auditorium. Carrie sat patiently in Kate's lap, her head resting on Kate's chest. They had to sit through all the piano solos first, then vocal solos, and finally they made it to violin. Kate found it fascinating to watch how all of these children had studied their hardest to put on an incredible show.

Alexis played a fun song called The Boy Paganini. Her instructor accompanied her on piano, and the whole time she had a smile on her face. It seemed to be over all too quick, but she bowed and waved and made her way offstage and out of the way of the next person.

Kate held the flowers and Rick held the toddler while they waited by the door for the girl to come out. It was as expected when Alexis saw Kate standing there. Her face lit up and she launched herself at the brunette, making Kate lose her footing. "You said you had to work, I didn't think you'd come!" Alexis chittered as she untangled herself from Kate. "Did you like it? Did I do okay? I was shaking a little bit, but I had a lot of fun!"

"You did wonderfully, kiddo." Martha told her, running her hand over the girl's braids.

"Thanks, Grams." She took Martha's hand as they left the school, walking back home.

Alexis skipped ahead of them on the sidewalk, high off of her performance, twirling in her light blue dress and chattering excitedly about anything and everything. Rick nudged into her shoulder as they walked, drawing her attention away from the dancing girl in front of them. "So, what do you think of the fall?"

"I love the fall," she answered, a grin on her face, "it's my favorite time of year. The colors are beautiful, the weather is perfect."

His smile was mischievous, and his eyes had a playful twinkle in them as he listened to her talk. "So, what you're saying is that you would be okay with a wedding in the fall?"

It took a moment for his words to sink in, but once they did she felt like she was walking on air. "I'd be open to that possibility." She answered, making him laugh. "Are you suggesting that we set a date, Mr. Castle?"

"I believe I am, Mrs. Castle-to-be."


A/N: I feel like I lost people when Rick called Murray, but I promise it's not bad! It's 110% a set up for the follow up I'm planning. I know there are only two chapters left, I'm just not sure how I will make it work yet. I literally have internship on Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, and work on Tuesdays, Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. It's my last semester and I am going out with a bang! That being said, I'll try to have it up by Thursday, but I have no promises...

Now, I have a Pats game to watch. I hope you all enjoy! :)