Novak,
When I read your response last night, I had no idea how to reply. I felt all sorts of things, but one emotion really stood out- I felt sad. Miserable, actually. I went to sleep, trying to shoo my depression away, but I woke up feeling just as bad. Is it a surprise, for how many times I've acted hatefully towards you, that I am not angry for your confession? It only makes me weep, something I could never admit to anyone else. Please tell me it is a lie. Please tell me you do not love me, or I am afraid that I will live forever sad.
There are many times where I sit and think and regret where we have gotten. How did we come to hate one-another? Do our people really influence us so much? There have been times, after our arguments, where I wondered why we were even angry with each other. Something in me could never accept your apologies until now, hearing this. I cannot forgive you fully now- that will take time, but I will try to be kinder to you, now that I realize what agony you've suffered in making reparations with me.
Perhaps for now, we can work to become acquaintances again- friendship will have to be in the distant future, because it is too much for me to think of right now. With your migraines, I'm sure it is the same for you?
This being said, please tell me how you've been faring lately, and what news you have.
Regards,
-Andelko Bogovich
Tears welled up in Serbia's eyes as he read Croatia's letter. The other nation was trying to be a bit nicer to him. That was all he could ever ask for from that stubborn man.
Andelko,
It is a bit sudden, my confession. I'm not surprised that you are feeling so many things. But the sadness I didn't expect out of a man like you. I don't think it's a surprise that you aren't mad, because you know that we've both suffered. But I have to admit this, Andelko. It's not a lie. I truly do still love you. And I'm sorry if it makes you sad, really. But I can't deny it like it's not there.
I'm not sure how we came to dislike eachother so much. I sometimes think it's because of how much power I had back in the days of Yugoslavia. I believe it got to my head, and that it affected our relationship. Things have changed since the days I was a socialist though, and I hope that you can see that. When we argued, I always felt like it was my fault, but I tossed the blame at you because I couldn't bear any more blame than what I already had. I understand that you cannot apologize to me fully. You have every right not to. But I'm glad that you know how much I've suffered through the years, trying to repair our relationship.
I would be happy with just being acquaintances. Because to me, that's far better than what we are now. With my migraines, I have to say it is hard to think of friendship. My head feels like it's splitting as I type this letter. But at least it's a migraine that isn't because of us arguing, but rather because we're trying to make reparations.
Well, apart from my constant thinking of you, I've had quite a rough time recently. Kosovo left me to claim his independence not too long ago, as you already know. You recognized his independence, as well as many others. Tiku is brave, I'll give him that. But I still won't recognize his independence. Other than all the matters with Kosovo, I've really been trying to get closer to the other Balkans. Slovenia especially. Pavla still isn't really fond of me, even though we'll chat a bit here and there. She never really was fond of me in the first place. As for the other Balkans, I think I only have decent relations with Bosnia and Herzegovina. And even so, I hardly talk to him. Zlatko's never been one to talk much anyways though.
But enough about my troubles. How have you been?
From
-Novak Novkovic; Serbia
