Unplanned Surprises - A Hunger Games Fanfiction
DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Hunger Games characters, or the book or movie. If I did there would be less Gale, more Peeta, Finnick would still be alive, Peeta wouldn't have been tracker jackered, the third book wouldn't of happened, there would be more Clove and Jo and Annie and Madge... The list goes on. Anyway, I don't own them...
Hey guys :) sorry for the wait but here's the next chapter :)
Katniss' POV
28. Chapter 28
What.
I searched Ryes and Josh's eyes for some kind of joke, a sick, sick joke. All I found was nervous, anxious worry. This was no joke. Peeta had gone missing. After I had hurt him.
"... W-what?" I mumbled in disbelief.
"Peeta, We can't find him anywhere. He didnt come home last night and he never stays at yours over a day. He didnt come into work, he's not out surfing... He's not at a bar or at Finnicks or Catos... He's missing." Rye says.
"Just, was he with you? Yesterday morning? When did you last see him?"
I blink rapidly through my tired eyes. This can't be happening? Did I seriously break Peeta enough that he's run off? Or was this a completely different thing? Was he lost? Why didn't he go home after... After, yesterday? Where could he possibly have gone?
I swallowed loudly. "Last time I saw him was yesterday, midday." I swallow again. "He was... Upset."
Rye and Josh look at each other and back at me. They both looked me over and registered my lousy appearance.
"What happened Katniss?" Rye says slowly.
Then I just can't stop it. Everything build up once again and bursts the dam. I sob loudly and realise I don't want Peeta- I mean Rye and Josh in my room. They smell like him and Rye looks like him. They act like him and their eyes have the same softness to them as his. Josh's hair falls over his eyes untidily as Peetas does and Ryes is almost exactly the same shade of sandy blond. I look away from them and curl my knees into my chest before sobbing into them unattractively.
I had made Peeta run away. I had hurt him bad just for myself. I'm selfish and stupid. How could I do that to him? I should have seen it in his eyes that I was killing him. I should have stopped. But I couldn't leave everything the way it was. I was scared. I was afraid of the future and I had to do something about. Everything was out of my control and nothing was going the way I planned. I handled things the wrong way. I sprung things upon him all at once and expected him to except it all and be there for me like he always is. And that's it. Peeta is always there for me and I was too afraid of commitment to let him get to me. He tried and I pushed him away because I was selfish.
But I did the right thing! Didnt I?
My heart and my mind fought each other, tearing me apart from the inside.
I continued to wail into my arms when I felt two pairs of strong, kind arms wrap around me, holding me together through my mind shattering. A lump formed in my throat as the sobs subsided and I peered up through my hair and saw Josh and Peet- I mean Rye, hunched over me, perched on my bed, their arms over my shoulders. A tear trickled down my cheek and they also look up and looked at me.
"It's okay Katniss." Josh says.
"Everything will be fine. I don't know what happened with you and Peeta and I don't want to get into it, but we'll find him." Rye murmers.
"I promise." They both then whisper.
I feel utterly terrible on the inside but end up just nodding. Rye and Josh lean back and josh takes my hand. "You wanna come look for him with us?"
I nod again and gingerly get up off my bed. I don't really care what I looked like. I have clothes on and that's all that matters. I quickly scan my room and grab my phone. I check for missed calls and yet, nothing. I slip my phone in my pocket and rub my eyes before taking Ryes hand and letting him lead me out room.
A load of question rush through my mind. Unimportant questions that really don't matter in this situation, but still made me wonder. Like, how did Josh and Rue get into my house and room? How did they know which room was mine? Did they speak to Effie? Did Haymitch threaten to kill them? But I hush my subconscious and let myself focus on finding Peeta.
I felt lifeless knowing that Peeta was somewhere, probably all alone. I hurt inside thinking of him in pain. I knew that no matter what, I simply had to find him, or I wouldn't be physically able to go on myself.
I wonder why I was having these intense and painful thoughts about a boy I had sworn to forget about. About a boy who I broke. And I don't want to think more about it. The pain is literally too much. I almost debate curling up right here on the sand.
"So where did you last see him?" Josh asks me softly.
I suck in a breath and point ahead. "Up this way." I croaked.
Rye smiled slightly, "ok good, that's a start." And then the Mellark boys started off in the directing I had pointed.
I dont know exactly where abouts the place I had stopped when I got too tired from running from Peeta. (I realise that running off like that was a very childish and idiotic thing to do now, but at the time I had literally only seconds to think of the best way out of there.) but I do remember the palm tree that Peeta had taken his anguish out on painfully. So we kept walking until things became familiar.
We soon approach the place I think is where Peeta and I last saw each other yesterday. I step out of Rye and Joshes grasp before stepping forward and placing my palm on the tree. Where are you Peeta?
Why is it we miss people more when they are further away? Like even on the first day of a vacation, you miss the people you left back at home. If you leave for somewhere far just an hour after seeing someone, you will still miss them, knowing that they are out of your reach. And that's how I felt with Peeta. I don't know where he is. Whether he's far or not, but in just one day, I'm missing him more than I have ever missed my mom back in twelve.
I sigh and turn to face Josh and Rye, both of which are eyeing me carefully. "We stayed here for a while... And then he walked off back that way." I pointed.
The boys heads look around in the direction I pointed and sigh. "I think we should split up." Josh says. "That way we can look in more places."
I nod.
"Ok... So Katniss... How about you go from this point, up that street," he points up the beach, "and see where it comes out and if Peeta could be there." I flinch at his name but then nod again.
"Then I'll walk back down this way, and see if there is anywhere else he could possibly be." Rye says.
"And I'll follow you and go further." Josh finishes.
I nod once more, feeling unable to use my voice, and begin to set off in the right direction.
"Oh, and Kat?" Rye calls.
I turn on the spot to face Rye who is now about ten meters away. "Yeah?" I call back.
"Call me if you have any trouble." He says, smiles at me and turns back around.
I smile weakly at the back of his head and I too turn back around and continue down the street. It doesn't take long till the path opens up into some kind of highstreet, but not the main town one that I am familiar with. I'm too far out from home to recognise anything. I sigh slightly and begin to wander slowly around, my eyes scanning everything or signs of Peeta.
I stop to go look in the bakery, but he was no where to be found. Neither in the library, or the large coffee shop. I searched high and low, for anything, anything that could mean Peeta had come through here. But, there was nothing.
I had walked up and down the highstreet several times before slumping against a nearby tree, planted in a dirt bed alongside the road. I sat down, my back against it and held my head in my hands.
I am hopeless. I tell a boy to stay out of my life and end up needing him so badly when he's actually out of it.
I must have been on that highstreet for at least an hour and half and I now didnt know where to go. So I remained sitting and watched the people rushing by, putting off things that I have to be doing like I always do.
My phone rang a couple of times, but each time when I checked and saw it wasn't Peeta, I'd decline the call and place the phone back into my pocket.
"Katniss?" I heard my name being called. "Katniss?!" I heard a distinct pair of feet running at me and looked up just in time to see a flash of short dark hair before I was tackled to the floor.
Jos arms wrapped around me, holding me in a tight embrace in the middle of a crowded street. With Jo here, everything seems to get better, like everything is gonna be okay because one of my best friends is here to help me get through it all. I grabbed Jo bak and trapped her in my arms like a vice. We sat up, still interlocked, so that I was sitting on her lap, facing her.
"So you heard?" She asks, her lips next to my ear in the hug.
I attempt to swallow the lump in my throat fruitlessly and nod on her shoulder, her short hair in my face.
"It's ok, we'll find him Kat, he's probably just lost somewhere." She coos.
A tear falls down my cheek. "It's not just that though Jo." I whimper.
She leans back to look at me, confusion in her eyes. "What do you mean?"
"I mean I've ruined everything." I cry and I pull her into the hug again.
"How? What are you talking about Kat?" She asks in my ear again.
I shudder and begin to tell her the full story. The first person I have told. And I'm glad it's one of my best friends. I go into a deep description about every idiotic thought that ran through my head the time and me and Jo sit locked in each others arms in the middle of the sidewalk. People tut as they pass us, stepping around us, I expect some have stopped to stare at us but I concentrate on my story and force my eyes closed.
Jo doesn't interrupt once. I hear her gasp when I tell her about Peeta hitting in the tree as she wonders how such a passive, sweet boy could do such an aggressive thing. She sighs when I tell about his pleading and begging with me, that I had just brushed off. And she shakes her head when I tell her about him walking off.
"And so he must have run away or something." I sob into Jo's shoulder, creating quite a scene, but I don't care. Jo leans back and looks me dead in the eye.
"This is not your fault." She says seriously and then kissed my on the forehead. "C'mon." She gets up off the floor and brushes herself off before holding out her hand to me and helping me up. She rubs my face of my tears and I smile weakly at her.
"Where?" I ask.
"We're going back to mine." She states before grabbing my hand.
"But what about looking for-"
"Shush. He'll turn up come on." She wraps her arm around me and we start walking away. I notice a crowd of people had stopped to gape at our little scene and Jo turns around to laugh lightly. She takes my hand raises her eyes at them. "Yeah? We're lesbians. Problem? Mind your own business." She says, passive aggressively before taking my hand and pulling me away, open mouthed and even chuckling slightly. I love Jo.
She had this way of making me feel better. Even if I was miserable on the inside. Jo had this certain thing about her that made me light up, not through and through, but in the surface, she made me worry less and feel just generally better.
Jo practically drags me all the way to her house where she pushes me through the door and up to her room before slamming the door and sitting cross legged on the floor.
"You're an idiot." She says.
"Thanks for the support Jo." I murmur and go to sit cross legged in front of her.
"An absolute fucktard." She continues.
"How is this helping exactly?"
"Of course you love Peeta!" He yells, reaching forward to shake me by the shoulders.
"What?" I make out as she shakes me vigorously.
She leans back and crosses her arms. "You told Peeta that you couldn't be with him because you didn't think you loved him and its blatant as I am sexy that you are utterly in love with this boy."
"But that's the point Jo! I don't know..."
"I don't see how you can't see it and I can. Just the way you look at him. Ou can see it in your eyes."
"But-"
"How do you feel right now?"
"Pretty shitty." I say honestly.
"If you didn't love Peeta you'd feel fine, happy even that you got him off your back. Peeta makes you happy you said so yourself. And when he's in pain, so are you. You're afraid because you think that if you allow yourself some fun in your life, you'll ultimately fail at everything and end up a beach bum asking for spare change." She says, matter of factly.
I swallow. How can she see right through me like that?
She doesn't wait for me to respond and carried right on. "And the way he looks at you. There's no denying that he is head over heels for you. Time is just a number. It took him seconds to fall for you, trust me, I know, and from that point he was never gonna give up you up. Of course you love him! You've just got to get your head out your fat arse and realise that commitment doesn't mean instant death. Don't be afraid. Seriously Kat, do you want to ruin this for yourself?"
"No."
Do you want to spend the next 10 months miserable?"
"No."
"Do you want Peeta to be miserable?"
"No."
"Do you love Peeta Mellark?"
"Yes."
"Then get out there and start showing it! That boy would tear the world apart for you now we have to go and do the same for him. Stop being a great pussy and go!"
I start to nod frantically.
Yes.
Yes I do love Peeta. Of course I do. Time is nothing. What have I done?
I suck in some air and jump up, pulling Jo with me. Newly energised. I need to find Peeta and make things right again. I need to fine him and tell him what I've realised and apologies for being such a girldouche.
"Ah shit, how am I gonna do this?" I call to Jo and I pull her down the stairs and out the door."
"Um... Ok..." Jo wracks her brain. "If you were Peeta what would you do if the girl you loved shattered your heart into a million pieces?"
I frowned. "Ok, not helping Jo."
"Just answer the god damn question!"
I fumbled in my mind for something as we walked down Jo's narrow street towards the beach... "Whats the time?"
"Katniss, that is not an appropriate answer for my question."
I ignored her and I fished my phone out of my pocket. It's 3:17 pm. Ok. "We have a solid 6 hours to look for him."
"Where do we start though?" Jo asks.
I pause. What would Peeta do? "Still on the beach?"
"The beach is massive, it could take hours to search."
I almost stated pulling my hair out as I spun around on the sand frantically. "Well we'd better get started then!" I yell. "C'mon."
I started to jog to my right and Jo followed suit. We kept up a steady pace as we jogged, the sea keeping at bay down at low tide. We didnt speak much and we ran and searched a the same time, except occasionally when we'd need to rest for a while.
We ran past the closed bar at some point and Jo ran in to check he hadn't snuck in under the construction signs.
"Anything?" I called through the door.
Jo reappeared on the other side of the dark room. "Nothing. Keep going."
And so we did. We ran until 6, at which point we thought it wise to turn back. Finding nothing, our search time seemingly wasted, we began home. I became more and more desperate with each step, picturing Peeta all alone. We ran the way back to Jo's, slower than the way out as we were less enthusiastic about not finding anything, and got back by 10.
"Do you want me to come back with you to yours?" She asks.
I look to my left, the direction of my house and debated some company for the night. But I was tired and felt like just crashing out, hoping that I would fall swiftly into the kind arms of sleep and forget all my troubles and Peeta.
I turn back to Jo and shake my head. "I'll be alright." I sighed.
"You sure?" She asks, concern flooding her eyes.
I sniff and nod. "Yeah."
"Ok." She says quietly and grabs me before pulling me in for another hug. I hold onto her tightly and breath deeply, tears filling my eyes about how shitty everything is at the moment and then let her go.
"I'll see you tomorrow." I whisper.
"Yeah, night." She says and smiles weakly at me, the only kind of smile any of us can manage at this point. I return the smile half-heartedly before turning and beginning to walk home.
As I walked I looked up at the bright stars. Not nearly as mesmerising as that night with Peeta, but maybe it was the company of last time that made it so great. I sniffed and look down to the sand. A single crab marched down to the now risen tide.
I walked and walked for what felt like an age. Before stopping out side of Cloves house. Her lights were on. I debated just carrying on walking, in my tired state, but I sighed and turned up the beach towards the house.
Raising, my hand I timidly knock on the door and after a few moments, Mrs Jones, Cloves mom, opens the door looking rather worn out. I manage a smile at her. "Hey Mrs jones, you ok?" I ask.
"I've been better." She moans. "As have you it seems."
I sigh and nod. "Indeed... Is Clove home by any-"
I get cut off as Mrs Jones is pushed aside and Clove throws herself at me, full speed. I stumble back and end up tumbling on the sand, Clove on top of me.
I notice Mrs Jones sigh and turn away, pulling the door too as Clove and I end up on the floor.
"Katniss!" She exclaims.
I laugh/cry into her shoulder and nod, pulling her close to me as I did with Jo. Clove claws my back hugs the life out of me before leaning back and shaking me. Why does everyone do this? "Are you ok?" She asks.
I think for a moment and shake my head honestly. "Not in the slightest." I laugh weakly.
Clove smiles sadly. "He's a big boy, he'll be ok." She says reassuringly and nodding, convincing herself as much as me. I picture Peeta, alone for the dark night again, god knows where and I shudder, wanting to grab him and hold him close, but he's out of my reach.
I tear up again and clove takes my hand and pulls me up and over into her backyard. We sit on an old swing set in the corner of her overgrown garden, almost concealed in shrubbery. I sit and sigh and throw my head in my hands before swallowing and launching not my story, seeing no point in waiting any longer.
As I tell it I relive it, all the pain and the bitchiness on my part. I relive the way he begged me and I relived the confusion. It was hard but then again, I had to get it out, I had to let it go.
I finish and look over at Clove to see her staring at me, much wide open. "Careful, you'll catch flies." I say humourlessly.
I watch her think for a minute and slowly close her mouth. "Are you actually retarded or do you do it for fun?" She asks.
"What?"
"You're an idiot!" She says, turning on her swing to kick mine.
"Why is everyone saying this..." I murmur.
"You might have just pissed over your chances with the most perfect boy for you ever." She says. "You're so fucking lucky that Peeta is so in love with you or he'd never take you back..." She murmers, turning back on her swing to face forwards and look up at the stars.
"What are you saying?" I ask, confused, the lump in my throat still not retreating after my story.
"Katniss, of course you love Peeta." She says as if telling me the sky is blue.
"But I-"
"Sh!"
"But you don't-"
"No!"
"Clove you can't-"
"Shtum!" She says, miming closing her mouth with her right hand. "It's not hard. You. Love. Him."
"That's what Jo said..." I mumble.
Clove turns to look at me in disbelief. "That's because it's true! God you actually are mentally unstable." She pauses. "And emotionally, mind."
"Everything was just going so fast..." I used my original excuse again. "Nothing was in my control and I panicked."
"Katniss, why do you always have to be in control?" She asks.
"I don't-"
"Don't you trust Peeta?" She asks.
"Of course I do but-"
"Then you don't need to control everything, he can handle it Kat. He's a big boy and he can handle it." She repeats. "Just like he can handle you and your tantrums and being alone in the wilderness for a couple nights. He's got you, Kat, you just gotta let him."
I sigh, because I know she's right. I don't know why I did what I did. I must have been out of my mind.
"He'll forgive you." She assures me. "If he ever decides to turn up that is..." She says jokingly, but I hear the concern in her tone.
I Look over to her. "He'll be fine." I say quietly. "He can handle it." I throw her own words back at her, I just hope they were true.
Clove peers up at me and breathes in deeply before getting up and coming over hug me one more time.
"You should go, you're a wreck." She says simply.
"Oh. Well thanks." I say sarcastically and I smile at her slightly.
"Night." She says. "Do you want me to walk you home?"
"No, I'll be alright. Night." She disappears into her house and once more, I'm plunged into darkness.
Slowly, I walk on, towards my house. I quickly go into the Mellarks to check up on everything. No sign of anything. Before I head back to my own house.
Once I get up to my room, I get the strong urge to cry again but I refrain while I stumble into the shower and attempt to scrub away my misery by washing to forcefully until my skin turned red and sore.
Clean as a whistle.
I climb out into my rooms and shuffle over to my bed. I dig around under my pillow before grabbing Peetas shirt and throwing it over my naked body. I clutch the fabric tightly and lift it too my nose. It no longer holds the scent I want so desperately. Just mine.
A tear runs down my cheek as I climb into my bed and pull the covers right under my nose. Feeling as lonely as ever, I turn to face my alarm clock and ready myself for a long night.
So, if you have any questions, review them and I'll reply :) and a load of you have been asking me to post a picture of like, myself :') um if you're interested, you can check out my Instagram? My name is, 'whyiseveryusernametakenffs' no spaces :') yeah that's my actual username ;) so like, not begging or anything buuut, you could always follow me...? ;) I love you guys. So review and I'll get back to you!
Oh and final thing, I'm on TV tomorrow :)) I'm dancing at a big football match at a place called the Wembley stadium over here in the uk :) it's called the Charity Shield and its the start of the FA season, (if any of you have the slightest idea what that is) its Manchester United v Wiggan and I'm dancing professionally for Man U :) so you could always run along and have a look at that too :)
Always yours my darlings ;)
Jenny
