"My son, how are you feeling?"
Das glanced up at the question before focusing on the deck once more. "Better." He didn't say how he wanted to be anywhere but here on deck sitting with the captain, even if that meant going back to the infirmary.
His mas… Oyaji , he didn't want Das to call him master and frowned in a scary-but-weird-way when he did.… leaned forward, a warm smile on his face. "You are not in trouble. In fact, I am quite proud of you."
He didn't believe that for a moment. He couldn't be proud, because Das was useless. If he'd been less useless he'd have stopped the bad man from coming into Thatch's room. From wrecking the place…. he wasn't able to stop him at all, and then made everyone upset by getting hurt.
"You did the right thing, Das." The pirate captain told him, and he was no longer surprised that the man seemed to know what he was thinking. It was some sort of mystery ability, but ... Oyaji … was the strongest man in the world according to Marco and Das believed him. Of course someone that strong could read someone as weak and pathetic as Das.
Still… Oyaji was wrong. "I… it's my fault."
"Oh?" The man asked, surprising Das. When he had told Thatch and Marco it was his fault they had told him it wasn't, even when it was . They were too nice and Das had been afraid of getting them in trouble by arguing but they were wrong . "How so?"
Swallowing the boy my repeated, "My fault. Let him come in-"
"Did you open the door for him?"
Das frowned, he hadn't done that. "No. He… he followed me. I tried to shut the door, but he… Das tried, but he was too strong. He threw Das."
Something passed across Oyaji's face but before he could tell what it was it was gone. "It is not your fault if he forced his way in. It would be foolish of me to expect you to stop a commander from entering somewhere when any of your other brothers and sisters here would likely have let him in as well."
"But… he ruined the place. Das just let him. No one else w-"
"Did you tell him he could?" Once again he shook his head. "Did you help him?"
*No! I tried, Das swears he tried to stop the man from breaking everything, but he was too big, and Das is too little." He roughly scrubbed his face, not wanting to cry as he remembered the taunting laughter as the man had literally thrown him around the room. "Das… might have broke the chair. Not on purpose! But… it's hard to dodge in small spaces. Das is sorry…"
"Did he throw the chair at you?"
"No, he threw me at the chair." Das shrugged, "Sorry…"
Oyaji let out a disappointed sigh, "My boy, how many times did he throw you?"
"Every time. Lots. Das will do better next time."
"Das, you are a child ," Oyaji said, something akin to frustration in his voice, "I do not expect you to fight full grown men, let alone someone as strong as Marshal. That traitor was a division commander because of how strong he was, and Thatch informed me it was possible he was stronger than we had known. Attacking him was very brave if wreckless of you. I can't fault you for not succeeding."
"But… I didn't warn Thatch. He almost got hurt and I should have-"
"I doubt Marshal would have let you leave the room alive if you had tried to warn anyone." Alright Das had to admit that was probably right. The man had threatened him, but still… "And Thatch wasn't hurt, you were. You were very very brave pushing him out of the way. If you hadn't, I'm sure I'd have had to bury two sons. And thanks to you, no one died." Oyaji smiled down at him, "So you see, Das? None of this was on you. In fact, by your own account you did your best to stop him."
"It didn't work…"
"No, but he didn't succeed either. I'd have preferred you not to have been hurt, but even so. Without training you held off a commander long enough until help arrived and through your actions prevented one of your brothers from being grievously wounded." When put that way, Das supposed he was right. He hadn't been effective in stopping the man, but he knew he'd slowed him down, even if just a little. "Maybe I should make you a commander one day."
"No, nonono. I...Das… not strong enough." He protested. "Not yet."
Oyaji smiled, "You're right. Not yet. Which is why you are going to start taking lessons, my son. So you can get stronger."
Das chewed his lip, thinking. He didn't believe Oyaji wanted him to ever get that strong. For all that they protested, he was still a slave after all…. But…. If he was stronger, he'd be more use to the crew, right? Everyone here was so strong, it wasn't like he was any sort of threat to them - and he never wanted to be! - but if he was stronger…. He could do more. He could maybe help next time someone bad was on the ship.
Next time, maybe he wouldn't worry Oyaji and his… Das's mind shied away from finishing that thought, his heart aching painfully for some reason. He blinked in confusion and annoyance. That was happening more often since he'd been hurt and he didn't know why. The nice lady Candie had told him it wasn't anything to worry about and he believed her. She had hugged him then, and it was weird because Das knew she wouldn't hurt him but he'd felt trapped and had wanted to panic. But he hadn't. It had just made his heart hurt more until he'd wanted to cry. He figured it was because he was still pathetic and weak, worrying everyone like that. If he got stronger, maybe it would stop.
"D...I… want to be stronger." He told Oyaji. "I want to be better… I… I want you to be proud." He trailed off quietly.
He felt good when Oyaji grinned down at him, "You already make me proud, my son."
