-FIRSTS-

Disclaimer: The works of Detective Conan and Magic Kaito belongs to Gosho Aoyama-sensei.

Warning: KaiShin relationship.

Warning II: MATURE CONTENT!

A/N: Please do not send an army of zombies or hire the mafia to come crashing on my door. I needed him, it's a plot device, making reference to Chapter 16. As for Shinichi...well...uh...I think I just ran out of excuses...Also, I have NO medical knowledge save for what I manage to scrooge up through the internet, don't take what I say as the truth ok?


First Truths

When Kaito woke up that morning, he wasn't expecting his detective to be awake seeing as he was recovering from a high fever. Instead, he went to grab breakfast (prepared by the pair of lovely ladies in the house) to eat within the confines of their room. Both parents came in periodically throughout the day and when Kaito voiced out his concerns about Shinichi possibly being in a coma, Yuusaku was quick to call the doctor to check. They were relieved to hear that the detective was just resting and he would wake up when his body has deemed itself fit enough. When they were close to dinner time, still seeing no response, Kaito's worry reared it's ugly head once more.

'Maybe I should try a different approach.' Kaito leaned over his detective's face and placed a gentle kiss on the parted lips. He had always been on the receiving end of a good morning kiss lately and he was curious.

The press was soft and it felt a little strange, not to receive much of a response from his partner, but there was still a certain appeal to being able to see the fluttering of eyes and the dawning of thought in those deep blue gems.

"Good morning Sleeping Beauty." He smiled brightly at his now awake detective. "How was your sleep?"

"Kaito?" Shinichi's voice sounds a bit hoarse but it was expected since he had not been properly hydrated. "What happened?"

"You don't remember?" Kaito considered whether it would be wise to tell Shinichi, in the end, he felt it would have been better if the detective was aware. "You had a relapse during your fever induced haze. Also, before I forget. What on Earth were you thinking, running out of the hospital in your state? You could have been seriously hurt!"

"Well, nothing's happened and I'm fine now..." He replied weakly, not from exhaustion this time. It was not in Shinichi's intention to cause worry.

"You're not fine! You're still injured! Wounds to the legs, bullet wounds I might add, arms and shoulders, multiple fractured ribs, culminate that with the blood loss!" Kaito hugged him tightly, as though he would disappear if Kaito let go. "Don't scare us like that again."

"Kaito..." Shinichi tried to return the hug even though his arms felt like lead and pain laced through every action. It really is a pain being shot. But something did not seem right in the way his magician acted. He figured it must have something to do with how long he slept. "Kaito, can you tell me what happened when I was unconscious?"

"You were fighting off Yukiko-san when we came into the room. Yuusaku-san said the fever must have triggered an old memory. Do you want to tell me about it?" Kaito looked so hopeful, which made it all the more harder for Shinichi to resist and keep everything a secret. "It had something to do with the Goldberg incident right? Should I take a guess or will you tell me?"

"Kaito, I just didn't want you to worry." Shinichi bit his costume lips, hesitating and reluctant.

"When we asked Yuusaku-san how to best help you, he mentioned a psychiatrist but I'm guessing you don't want that." The detective hid a wince at mentions of doctors.

Shinichi sighed. There was no helping it now. He began to recount his tale, not quite aware that both, but still suspected, their parents were just outside the door listening in.

-Several Months Ago-

Shinichi felt the ground spin when his eyes opened, it was the after effects of the chloroform. He took a few clearing breaths before trying to sit up.

"Good afternoon Kudo-tantei, I must apologise for having to be so rough, but it had to be done." Goldberg sat opposite to where Shinichi was placed. The carpeted floor added no warmth into the cold air-conditioned room. Shinichi sat up straighter from his place on the floor but had some difficulty with balance and maneuvering seeing as his hands were tied behind his back, tightly.

"What do you people want?" He tested his bonds, it was nothing too difficult to break out of given a little bit of time. The metal felt uncomfortable around his wrist, but Kaito had slipped him a lock-pick before cuffing him, even though there should have been a less perverse way of doing it. He would start his escape once Spider stopped paying attention to him. For now, he had to play his part and act like a victim.

"We'll be straight forward with you, we want to know who Kaitou KID is. With your skills, you should have been able to have easily found it out."

Shinichi looked defiant.

Goldberg chuckled before walking closer towards the detective. He lifted Shinichi's chin to look directly into his eyes before whispering softly. "Why don't I give you something as an incentive?"

In an instant, Shinichi found himself to be at the warehouse location again. In front of him laid a bloody Kaito. Even though everything had been an act, it was still disturbing to see Kaito bleeding out on the floor. Shinichi tried to run over but his legs were stuck.

"Kaito!" He shouted from the distance. He could see small movement in the limbs.

"Kudo-tantei, would you like to tell me now? I could revive him for you if you do." Goldberg's voice echoed in the room.

"Never!" Shinichi shouted into the darkness, struggling against the invisible chains.

"Shinichi..." It was Kaito's voice, still weak and barely audible in the silence. "Are you so cruel to let me die?" Kaito was crawling towards him, leaving a bloody trail behind.

"Kaito, don't move, we'll be free soon." Shinichi tries to stop further movement from his magician, it'll only aggravate the injuries. He frantically gestured for his magician to stay still and stop his actions, though Kaito paid him no mind and continued his crawl only stopping when he was just beyond an arm's reach.

"But you can save me, just tell him what you know." Kaito looked behind him to where Goldberg seems to be standing. The subsequent look back at Shinichi was almost pleading, begging for the detective to respond. "Once he knows, I'll be healthy again."

"I'm not asking for too much, just a name." There was a sinister smile on Goldberg's face.

"No." Shinichi said with more conviction, barely able to dismiss his magician's gaze. He kept telling himself this was not real but he kept failing whenever his eyes saw the vivid red on the floor.

"Very well, you leave me with no choice." Goldberg pulled out a knife and threw in Kaito's direction.

"No!" As though in slow motion, the knife sailed through the air, pierced through the back of Kaito's head and embed itself with the knife point sticking out in front. Even though Shinichi knew it was impossible and that it wasn't real, he still could not prevent the scream from escaping, "Kaito! No, you can't be dead. Please wake up!" Shinichi struggled harder, stretching his hands in hopes of being able to touch his magician. The bonds around his feet kept him still.

No matter how he tried, Shinichi could not reach Kaito. In a fit of despair, he fell on his hands, eyes brimming with tears as he pounded the hard surface.

"Too bad Kudo-tantei. But I'll give you another chance."

The scenery before Shinichi changed once more. Gray concrete was replaced by a wooden floor. Shinichi looked up to see Kaito all dressed up and waiting patiently by the dinning table.

"Really Shinichi, how could you be so clumsy?" A melodious laughed escaped from Kaito's lips.

"How?" Shinichi looked around the room, it was the dinning room in the Kudo Manor. The table in front was set with silverware and elegant plates. At the center was a set of candelabra complete with burning candles for a romantic evening. There was even a bouquet of red roses sitting to the side of, what Shinichi supposed to be, where he should be sitting.

"Did you forget? You asked me to dinner. And you even cooked my favourite meals." Kaito was practically glowing. Shinichi leapt forward, latching onto his magician.

"Don't leave me again." He nuzzled his magician, committing his scent to his memory. But something seems odd. Kaito's scent seemed fainter, and less distinct.

"Idiot." Kaito was smoothing is hair, an action that would usually be calming but this time it felt wrong. "As long as you say the name of Kaitou KID's civilian identity, I'll always be with you."

A freezing cold hand placed itself on Shinichi's cheeks. Out of the corner of his widened eyes, he could see and feel a trail of red liquid running down his face starting from where Kaito's hands met his skin.

"Shinichi, can you tell us?" There was an echo in his voice. A deeper tone ran at the undercurrent of the song-like quality of Kaito's own.

"Get away from me!" Shinichi pushed the look-alike away from him harshly. The fake Kaito fell onto the floor with a loud thump like a broken puppet.

"Why are you doing this to me? When we could be forever together?" The fake Kaito contorted his body so he could face Shinichi instead of being a crumpled heap. It reached out his hand in desperation. "Shinichi, are you abandoning me?" The fake Kaito also had trails of crystalline tears streaming down his face, a look of pure sadness and hurt. Shinichi had to reach out, hands coming to a hover and fingers wanting to wipe away the tears. But he stopped his hands at the last moment, leaving it hanging outstretched in the air.

"No, Kaito. I..." His brain was telling him this was all fake and supplied him with a gun in his hands. He was pointing the gun down at the fallen Kaito.

The scenery changed again, he was back at the docks but instead of the car behind Kaito, it was a mirror. He felt his body moved purposefully towards the fallen magician.

"Now are you willing to tell us?" Goldberg's voice echoed in his ear. He felt himself move his hand to place the finger on the trigger. In the mirror's reflection, he saw Goldman doing the same. "Tell us what we want and we'll spare him."

"Shinichi." Kaito begged.

"No, not him. Please anything but him." Shinichi tried to move his aim away but his arm would not budge.

"Wrong answer." He felt his own fingers squeeze the trigger. Then there was a resounding boom and Kaito fell limp on the floor.

"Stop, please just stop." He whimpered as the red blood flowed out. The liquid seems to be creeping towards Shinichi.

"What say we try that again?" There was a cold laughter in the air as the background dissolved into another mess of colours. Shinich had to squeeze his eyes shut because of the intensity of light. When he next opened his eyes again, he was laying on top of silky white sheets with Kaito straddling on top of him. He found his arms to have been tied above his head on the headboard and his shirt to be open.

"It's been so long Shinichi." Kaito placed a hand over Shinichi's heart. His hand felt like fire as it traced along the muscle contours. "You can feel it too right? The heat."

"Kaito?" Shinichi tugged at his bonds. How did he get here? Wasn't he at the docks?

"Now Shinichi, I'll make sure you'll feel really nice." Hands kept moving southward, pushing away the white shirt material. His mouth followed suit, trailing wet kisses along the way.

"Kaito, stop. This isn't..." Whatever Shinich wanted to say next was lost in a moan when Kaito's teeth scraped over sensitive flesh.

"Shinichi, remember the safe word." Kaito's tone was playful as Shinichi felt an intrusion.

"What... what safe word?" Shinichi gasped and panted as Kaito picked up pace with his hands. It stopped the moment the question left his mouth. Shinichi lamented at the sudden lost of fulfillment.

"Why the word to make sure you won't get hurt when we take things too far." Kaito chuckled as he took a blindfold from out of nowhere. He gently laid the cloth over Shinichi's eyes before tying it at the back.

"Then what is it?" Shinichi gasped again when something thicker intruded. Friction and heat driving Shinichi to the edge.

"Kaitou KID's civilian name." The voice that replied in a whisper next to his ear was not Kaito's but Goldberg's. Shinichi struggled harder against his bonds.

"Stop, no...don't..." Shinichi tried to move away. He felt he kicked the air instead of making contact with flesh. but even without the human body near him, he could still feel the heat and friction. "Stop..."

The pace increased, the warmth from the friction turned to scorching heat, like the burn of acid on skin. Shinichi screamed when his flesh started to feel a burn.

"No! Stop!"

When he came back to himself, conscious and awake, he found himself inside the office again.

"Well?" Goldberg was still in the half kneeling position, hand still grabbing onto his chin. "Are you willing to tell me now?" A smile was slow to emerge on his face.

"What..." Shinichi had to cough to clear his throat. It felt scratched and dry. "What was that?"

"I wonder...what did you see Kudo-tantei?" Goldberg laughed softly but not moving away. "How about the answer to my question?"

Shinichi gulped. If this was a ploy to have him talk, he will endure it. Never would he betray his thief's secret.

"A tough mind. Well, let's see how long you can last. I wonder how many more nightmares you can take..." Goldman's voice faded as Shinichi's vision blurred.

He tried to remain calm and conscious, kept trying to tell himself it was all an illusion and that everything was in his mind. But it was all too real. Each touch felt heavenly before it degenerated to pain. Time and again he saw Kaito fall to a pool of crimson blood only to be brought back into the Kudo Manor in an everyday setting. He lost count on the number of times he ended up on a bed with Kaito over him or the number of times he was forced to pull a trigger on his magician. There were even many times his magician was bleeding out in his hold. Some of these scenes had him restrained and blindfolded even as he heard Kaito screaming in the background. He wasn't sure how long he held on but the only thought that kept coming into his mind was the wish for everything to end. However sometimes there was a sweet voice, sounding much like Kaito's, asking him to do little things. When such voice came through, he found it hard to resist and followed the instructions for a brief reprieve from his torture.

-Present-

Kaito was speechless, stunned and shock at the what his detective had to go through in such a short amount of time between his capture and the rescue. He hugged his detective, not wanting to let go. If only Shinichi had told him sooner.

"Uh...Kaito, I've been meaning to ask but when you found me...was I... undressed...in any way?" Shinichi bit his bottom lips, he had to know if everything was just in his head or if something really had happened in the real world during his time under hypnosis.

"No, thank goodness no. Else I wasn't sure what I would do." Kaito held on tighter and Shinichi made no motion to stop him. "Don't hide it anymore. Please. I don't think I can stand the thought of you suffering because of me."

"Kaito..." Shinichi tries to wrap his arms tighter around Kaito's neck. "I'll do anything to keep you safe."

"No promise me from now on, no matter what, you won't keep anymore secrets from me. No more cover ups, no more lies." Kaito's amethyst stared straight into deep blue eyes.

"Will you do the same? No more secrets from me."

"I reserve the right to keep surprises as a secret." For a break in the atmosphere, Kaito playfully kissed Shinichi on the mouth, nipping at the lips resulting a moan from his detective. "No point in ruining the surprise."

"Alright Kaito with the exception of surprises. I know how much you like setting them up." Shinichi managed to have one of his hands sneak up Kaito's back to play with his magician's hair.

"Good. Now do you feel up to going down for dinner?" Kaito pulled back just enough to look at Shinichi in the eyes but arms could still wrap around loosely on the detective.

"I suppose we should confront our parents as well. They must be extremely distressed hearing everything from beyond the door."

"They could have came in..." It seems the pair actually felt their presence even through the doors halfway through the story.

The parents came in, both female sporting tear trails along their cheeks. Yuusaku's face looked grim.

"I'm fine now, there's no need to look so bitter." Shinichi tries to placate the adults, which only further made Yuukiko burst out into tears.

"Oh Shin-chan, my poor baby." Yukiko went to the other side of the bed to hug the detective. "You shouldn't have to suffer like that."

"Your mother is right, these are things that should be talked about, not kept hidden." He came over to stand behind Yukiko, wrapping his arms around her waist. "But I'm glad you manage to talk about it now."

Chikage walked over to give her own son the silent support. She placed a hand on his shoulder, smiling gently as Kaito looked up at his mother. He was grateful for her to be near right now as he wasn't even sure how he could stay strong over such an emotional story telling.

"Shinichi-kun, do you feel up to eating downstairs? Or should we bring the food up?" It was clear from Chikage's tone that the parents won't be leaving Shinichi alone any time soon.

"I'll come down if you can give me a minute." Stepping onto the wooden floor, he wobbled slightly and his movements were sluggish but Kaito was at hand to support his detective. Their parents retreated, leaving Kaito to his task.

"Can you forgive me? For hiding things from you?" Shinichi asked weakly as Kaito helped him change out of his sweat soaked clothing.

"If you can keep your promise then you'll be forgiven." His face was impassive, eyes trying to not linger on the bandages or examine too closely at the colour.

"Thank you." It would be pointless for Shinichi to apologise again so he opted to thank instead.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Next morning they all had breakfast at an amiable atmosphere, the mothers chatting gleefully while the sons enjoyed the comfort from each other. Yuusaku volunteered to grab the morning newspaper instead of submitting himself to the chatter, not that he didn't enjoy it but for the sake of his own sanity it would be best to leave the women in the house alone when they were engrossed in their conversation. And besides, the boys deserved to be spoiled just this once.

He walked briskly back indoors, reading the paper as he went, but came to a frozen stop in the kitchen doorway. His face was set at a angry frown when he saw the internal headline.

Illustrious Escape

Gunter von Goldberg II, also known as his criminal name Spider, who was captured as one of the masterminds behind the kidnapping of the Eastern Detective Kudo Shinichi, was found to be missing yesterday afternoon when one of the jailers delivering his lunch found his cell empty. Goldberg had been kept in solitary confinement, with minimal outside contact and 24 hour monitoring. His jailer had commented that Goldberg had been there during breakfast but he vanished sometime between then and lunch. It seems his magic is still at work even under controlled conditions. But one has to wonder why choose now to escape and not sooner, when his trial had already ended and he was condemned to life imprisonment?

The article continued to explain the trials and speculations on where the man could be hiding. To Yuusaku, it just sounds like really bad news, especially after hearing Shinichi's recount yesterday.

Yuusaku had not realised he kept silent when the people around the table were asking for him. Yukiko had to physically bring her husband back from the newspaper to the real world.

"Yuu-chan, what's wrong?" Concern laced through her words, her nails were digging into Yuusaku's arms.

"I think you all should look at this." He placed the paper on the table, headline and article visible for everyone.

Kaito growled vocally while the mothers gasped. Shinichi, however, remained unmoved. He was trying not to think about it.

"If he so much as come close to Shinichi, I swear he'll wish he had never had been born." There was malice in Kaito's voice. Eyes burning with a fire that Shinichi winced and moved slightly away from the fuming magician. "Never mind coming close, I'll personally make sure he couldn't even walk on the same street from miles away."

"Kaito, you're overreacting." Shinichi tries to calm him down, which only egged the magician further.

"No, overreacting would be seeking him out the shaving him bold while leaving him in a pink Tutu with flowery tattoo on his cheek. What I'm doing now is tame by waiting for him to show up before shaving him bold and leaving him with a pink Tutu and flowery tattoo. And I might throw in a few brow adjustments and nail art for the sake then take a few photos to post online and take out a few ads in the newspaper."

"Isn't that just a bit too much?" Shinichi was trying to dissuade him from doing things too drastic.

"No, never too much. And I'll even ensure he has the make over while listening to the old Tellytubbies theme song. Heck, I'll be nice to send him the TV shows to alleviate his boredom. I'm sure we can have it played inside his future cell throughout the day and night."

"Would you like to personalize the cell for him? I can easily pull a few favours. It's not that much trouble." Yuusaku offered. "And I'm pretty sure that when Megure do catch Spider, they won't mind a few touch ups."

"'Tou-san, you're not supposed to encourage him." Shinichi sounded exasperated. But his complaints fell on deaf ears.

"Oh, that would be great! You see, I've come across this paint mixture by accident. It's a slow florescent release that can last really long but never giving off that much light. At night, it'll make it seem as though there's always something there. And I heard the Turkish have this great symbol for warding off evil spirits so it'll be really useful for Spider to keep out those vengeful ghosts." By that, he would be talking about the Evil Eye, which under normal circumstances it would be fine (especially under bright light, it can look very aesthetic) but at night, if there were just hints of a glow, it can be frightening even to the bravest of men.

"Kaito, I think you might be a little inconsiderate. Playing TV programmes throughout the night would be a nuisance to others." Chikage chipped in ever so thoughtfully, "try something more subtle, take a note from Peter Pan."

"That's a great idea for interior design, though I'm not sure if they're allowed. Maybe just giving him a memory or hint of that would be enough to remind him of time passing." Shinichi was sure Kaito meant instead of playing through the Tellytubbies through day and night, he'll be replacing it with the continuous annoying ticks of a clock.

"But you know Kai-chan, I don't think a tattoo is enough." Great, Yukiko is starting to offer her advice. "It doesn't feel like his style."

"I'm not talking about the normal roses'n'guns type, I'm talking about the ones we find in the kindergarten walls. I think he'll like them." It seems Kaito already had everything planned, down to the stencil.

"Oh, I think I've got quite a lot of fans on the inside. I'm sure if I made an appearance and dropped a few gossipy details, it'll be much appreciated. After all, they only get the newspaper once a week. And even then, it's always filtered thoroughly." And by that, Shinichi was sure she meant spreading rumours. And it would be rumours of the most horrid kind that would lead to being ostracized by the other inmates.

"'Kaa-san, not you too..." He had a feeling she's going to make a really bad rumour up. 'Probably going to tell the inmates that Spider is a pedo or a child abuser. Even though they're criminals, most of them don't tolerate using or abusing children.'

Whilst Kaito and the adults were busily plotting, even though they have yet to capture Goldberg, Shinichi buried his face into his hands. He knew he should have kept his mouth shut and not told his side of the story in so much details. Glossing over the facts would have been better. Now everyone was determined to make the criminal's life in prison a living hell. He'd be surprised if the man is not sent to the psychiatric wards within a week of such entertainment.

"Shinichi," Kaito sidled over to wrap around his detective, "you should remember what I said back in the JPSB offices. We phantom thieves are protective and possessive of what is ours and while inducing physical injuries are against my rules, I'm in no way dealing him any physical harm. All I'm doing is adding some spice to his otherwise dull future in prison. I consider it a good deed even." Kaito was beaming by the end of his justifications.

"Kaito," Shinichi sighed, knowing there really was no stopping his magician, especially when both their parents are in on this venture. "Can I at least request you try and not add any more to the existing list? I don't think the prison or its guards appreciate what you might be planning."

"Nonsense. I'm pretty sure they were planning on something similar to what I had in mind."

Why was Kaito even grinning like a cat who caught the canary?

"And the reason for them to have been planning would be...?" And Shinichi was the all too curious cat who would most likely be burnt.

"You're the PD's saviour and I know for certain that law enforcements take real good care of the people they deemed to be worthy and part of their family, which you are. So it's certain that they would want to ensure the man had learned his lesson. I know for a fact that on the night of his arrest, Sato-san did something off camera in the interrogations room and Takagi-san did nothing to stop her."

Shinichi finally realised he was surrounded by overprotective people. He should have noticed it sooner.

In the midst of Shinichi's deep soul searching for reasons why he attracted such a group of people in his life, Kaito pulled and tugged him towards the living room without Shinichi noticing. When his detective finally noticed, he was already being ensconced in blankets and fitting snuggly in Kaito's arms. The TV was turned on and playing reruns of the Detective Samonji series. He looked questioningly at his magician.

"I won't say you should be resting, seeing you slept for nearly the whole day yesterday, but you should at least be relaxing. Stress does not help with recovery."

"But there's still a stack of work that I needed to do..." Shinichi struggled out of the hold and blanket mound but Kaito's click of fingers brought out ribbons and smoke, which ended with him tied up, blanket and all, with an extremely large bow decorating on the side. "Kaito..."

"We're both staying here and I'll only let you out when you need to use the bathroom." Whatever Shinichi wanted to say was silenced with the concerned and stressful look on his magician's face. Shinichi had no choice but to agree and settled back down to watch the show.

Kaito was not exactly at his most relaxed state, although having Shinichi near him helped a lot. His mind was running a mile a minute, fearing what Spider's escape would mean. He had to think of a way to keep his detective out of trouble and he knew who to ask. Surely Shinichi's parents could help pull some strings to make sure the detective need not to leave the house unnecessarily. It might sound like keeping the detective under house arrest but at least they haven't locked him up in the basement yet. Now there's a thought that's worth pursuing if his detective plans on rebelling.

-TBC-