Disclaimer: To Be Human is a fanfiction written in the Compilation of FFVII, with respect to the original canon and in accordance with the permissions of Fair Use as a transformative work. No profit is being made and the author only claims original characters used within to help flesh out the story.

A/N: Because I'm gleeful I have to let you know - I broke 80K when I was working on chapter 32 earlier this week. :D


It wasn't even questioned that Zack and Sephiroth would come with Angeal for the review of previous tests on top of even more testing, but to have either of them asked for specifically by the scientists was a surprise. The three Firsts made their way down to the labs in silence, broken only by the background sounds of machines.

This time, Hojo and Hollander were joined by a young woman that matched Cloud's description of Dr. Rayleigh. The trio had a variety of expressions, Hollander looking grimly pleased, Rayleigh herself looking nervous, and Hojo seeming irritated.

Sephiroth did note that one out of the three was fairly normal. "You look like you have news."

"Old news, of questionable relevance." Hojo made an impatient gesture for them to sit, looking at Zack for a moment before sighing loudly. Apparently, today he didn't feel like arguing about it. "You're more or less familiar with Project G. It has been brought to my attention that being introduced to that information in another environment may have helped keep certain parties from running off in a blind panic instead of thinking rationally."

Angeal snorted, crossing his arms. He wondered if it was Hollander who admitted to that, or if Rayleigh had pointed it out. "You've called us down here for a history lesson?"

"A much more extensive one, yes, now be quiet and let me talk," Hojo snapped. After a moment of glaring at the three SOLDIERs, he continued. "In 1965, Professor Gast Faremis became head of the fledgling department of Mako Science and Research. In 1970 he discovered a being believed to be a Cetra and he had it unearthed and brought down to one of the research facilities. He named it Jenova, and named the research project after it, hence Project J or Project Jenova.

"Someone, likely Gast, decided it would be advantageous to see if study of Jenova's cells could lead to awakening any dormant abilities left over from our Cetran ancestors. There was enough progress that testing began on a variety of subjects, creating the earliest incarnations of what would one day be SOLDIER." Hojo made a vague gesture at Zack. "Hollander and I were in charge of the two halves of the Jenova Project. The premise Gast presented us with was using cell samples and DNA from Jenova before birth to enhance favorable qualities and ideally reach the original goal of enhancement. We each had an array of assistants, his most notable being Gillian Orgel, whom he named his project after. She submitted to procedures, and then had her cells mapped onto a child. He registered as normal and thus a failure, and the child in her womb registered the same - if you haven't guessed from the faces your friend is making, that would be him. The other, of course, is Genesis."

Sephiroth rested a hand on Angeal's knee a moment, startling the growing anger away long enough for his friend to get back in control. After a moment, Sephiroth inclined his head. "You've said time and again what you think of Hollander's work, Hojo. Why are we going over this now?"

"Because he never told you about his part in this." Hollander spoke before Hojo, grim smile still in place. "Project S, led by Hojo and Dr. Crescent, named for the child it produced - you, Sephiroth."

There was a long moment of silence, broken by a very quiet, very emphatic, "Fuck."

Sephiroth startled as his brain had screeched to a halt in trying to process what he was being told, looking back over his shoulder at Zack. "Pardon?"

"Just…" The teenager gestured at the scientists. "Clusterfuck. The whole thing is a clusterfuck of epic proportions. How did you think that would help?"

"Your opinion was neither requested nor wanted, SOLDIER," Hojo reminded him. "Much like your presence."

"Yeah well we can agree to mutually not like each other okay? Okay, great." Zack shook his head again, muttering.

Sephiroth was fairly sure it was 'clusterfuck' again, and somehow that seemed… fitting. "So. Jenova was thought to be a Cetra when Gast found her-"

"It," Hojo corrected. "It took a female form, yes, but Gast's wife referred to it as an it. It was not a Cetra, and It is certainly not human."

"What is Jenova, then?" Sephiroth asked, trying to have reason win out over the knee jerk reaction his emotions were trying to have.

"An alien - one could argue for a sentient virus, parasite, or shape shifter depending on perspective." Hojo stared at him, dark eyes narrowed. "Most certainly not your mother."

Sephiroth huffed softly, but didn't look away. "And the woman you spoke of as my mother, Lucrecia. Why haven't I heard of her before?"

"You never asked." Hojo shook his head, exasperated. "She's gone, Sephiroth. You had no chance to know her, what was the point? What are you expecting from me? It's history, it doesn't matter. You are the same person now as you were walking through that door. The only difference is that you now know what was used to enhance you. And I hope you are intelligent enough to understand, as your friends failed to, that this different knowledge does not make you a different person."

Sephiroth considered that, not sure what he felt. Not exactly surprised, not after all this with Angeal and Genesis. The fact that Gast had lied to him, lied about that… "Did Professor Gast not get along with her?"

Hojo exhaled in an audible hiss, perhaps less so to the unenhanced but it drew the attention of all three Firsts. Still, his eyes remained fixed on Sephiroth. "I have no idea why he felt compelled to lie to you. I suppose I should be grateful, since it seems to be clearing up your mistaken hero worship. The fact that he just walked off one day should have been the first clue, but apparently defections don't bother you."

There was something he knew how to react to. The slight to Genesis and Angeal, regardless of how hurt and angry he still was, was something safe to focus on. "I assume you asked for us both for another reason than this discussion?"

"Yes, and with that out of the way we can now do something useful," Hojo said, giving Rayleigh a dark look.

"It's related," she disagreed. "I've been going through Dr. Hollander's work, primarily making outlines and transcriptions to speed up the collaboration. It's clear they both had the same starting point, the same access to materials and equipment and research, but only Hojo was successful. So while we try to pinpoint where Hollander went wrong, there might be benefit in comparing the differences between the two of you."

Hojo snorted, clearly not in favor, but Sephiroth had a lot of practice ignoring him. He considered her words for a moment, frowning. "You think there might be a solution to be found in my genetic code?"

"I think it might point us in the direction of one, yes." She met and held his gaze, blue eyes earnest. "I know this is an uncomfortable situation, but unless something better presents itself, I think this is something to look into. It can't cause any harm, and it might help."

"A valid point," he agreed quietly. It was refreshing to see someone actively wanting to help, out of concern on top of professionalism. Odd, but refreshing. "What is it you require, Doctor?"

Hojo rolled his eyes, a surprisingly childish gesture that caught the First's eye for the sheer novelty of it. When their gazes met, the professor arched a brow. "If you're actually going to be cooperative for testing, I imagine you could breeze through the same array of tests Hewley went through. In fact, if you're going to keep bringing your tag along as well, why not have him tested?"

"Baseline non-project First Class," Rayleigh mused. "There might be something to learn in the comparison. Are you willing to assist SOLDIER…?"

"SOLDIER First Class Zack Fair," he introduced himself, standing loosely at attention out of habit. "Anything I can do to help them, you just let me know."

Angeal frowned. "Zack-"

"It will be my honor to do right by my friends," Zack continued evenly, seeing the tiny flinch as his words struck home. "Just say the word, Doctor."

Rayleigh missed the byplay, but took his offer seriously. "Right. Well, I could run your tests while the Professor runs First Class Sephiroth's?"

"You guys are the professionals here." He shrugged slightly. "Lead on."


Sephiroth held still and silent while Hojo applied the monitors to his chest, the process the same as the one Angeal had gone through - and Zack, by his own volunteering, was going through now to his left. He watched the younger First, vaguely aware that he was chatting up the new scientist, but he couldn't bring himself to focus on that. Not when he had so much else to think about, and was trying not to be overwhelmed by it.

"Project S, led by Hojo and Dr. Crescent, named for the child it produced - you, Sephiroth."

Hollander's words echoed in his ears, refusing to be shaken from his mind.

The premise Gast presented us with was using cell samples and DNA from Jenova before birth …

Sephiroth wondered, briefly, how much more disturbing the information was when Genesis received it, degrading and mutated?

"An alien - one could argue for a sentient virus, parasite, or shape shifter depending on perspective. Most certainly not your mother."

The First closed his eyes a moment, mentally flashing from the moment of irritation that had boiled down from Hojo's anger that he'd been told such a thing, back to when he'd been but a boy. He couldn't have been much more than a toddler, to compare the view he had looking up at Gast, the old scientist kneeling in front of him, telling him that his mother had loved him dearly and her name was—

Why would you LIE to me? What purpose did it serve?

"So, how did Professor Gast's wife know Jenova wasn't a Cetra?" Zack's question was an immediate distraction, and Sephiroth was pleased to take it.

"She knew because Ifalna herself was a Cetra, and they passed down oral history from when the creature arrived," Hojo explained. His gloved hands were cool against Sephiroth's skin, bringing back memories that hadn't crossed his mind in years.

"Ifalna…" the name also triggered a memory long forgotten, a soft voice and long brown hair. Sad green eyes, the color of the lush flora of Wutai's jungles though he hadn't known at the time. And a little girl, younger than he was with eyes older than they should have been. "She had a daughter…?"

Hojo snorted softly, giving him a look Sephiroth couldn't quite interpret. "Of course you'd remember that much. Perhaps if I'd mentioned she was Gast's you would have been useful keeping track of her. Or at least found her after they ran off, since the Turks can't seem to manage that much."

"Can't imagine why someone wouldn't want to stick around with you, Professor, you're such a friendly guy."

Either Hojo didn't hear Zack's mutterings, or didn't care; either was possible, knowing him. It did make him smile, just a little, and he heard a huff of amusement from Angeal. His friend's eyes were dark, and when he met them Sephiroth recognized the emotion there with a jolt: worry.

Are you worried about me, Angeal? Why… ah, it was what he'd just heard, wasn't it? Angeal knew how Genesis had reacted, knew how he himself had reacted. Did he fear Sephiroth would react the same? It seemed the logical conclusion. Fear was how Angeal had continually reacted to the knowledge of the Jenova Project. Before, Sephiroth had called him on it, tried to stop the destructive cycle with logic. And now the tables were turned.

All at once, several things slotted into place. While he still felt conflicted emotionally, logic spoke up firmly, his own words echoing back in his mind.

Nothing they did makes you a monster, only your actions can lead to that.

Sephiroth had meant every word when he had spoken to Angeal. It would be the height of hypocrisy to ignore that, to pretend it didn't apply to him as well.

The question is not what you were born as, the question is who you are now.

Calm settled over him with that single point clear in his mind. No matter how disturbing his history, this was only new knowledge to Sephiroth himself. No matter the upheaval it caused him emotionally, physically nothing had changed. Only his mindset - he was still, on the most fundamental level, the same man he had walked in as.

He hadn't let anyone tell him who he was since he'd been a child. He refused to step back into such a destructive habit.

Whether or not you are genetically purely human, whatever was done to you before your birth, is irrelevant at the moment.

Sephiroth gave Angeal a level look, confidence returned in the face of clearer thought, and smiled faintly at his mix of surprise and relief. So, he had read the older SOLDIER correctly. Good. Perhaps now he had an even stronger advantage for reasoning with him; he would take that as a hidden blessing.

A sudden disruption of the background noises drew his attention, and Sephiroth followed the sound to see the readings for Zack's heart rate had spiked. A few deep breaths, the strict self-control of a SOLDIER, and the young First had it back to an even level. But there was something that had changed in his mood, something had gone cold and angry.

Clearly, Sephiroth had missed something while he was lost in his thoughts. Berating himself silently, he vowed to ask him later. For now, he would keep a closer eye on the testing. There would be time to talk with Angeal later.