Tantamount

Chapter 28

As we reach the parking lot and pause, Bella looks up at me and her hand slips from mine. We don't say a word to each other before we get into our vehicles. I'm not even sure how we are leaving things, but it's late, and I'm fucking tired. She doesn't look any better than I feel. But all I know is, I need my bed and some space to think about what happened tonight.

I follow Bella home and stay in my truck, watching until she's inside her house—like I used to. I don't go inside until I see the light turn on in her room, then I make my way inside my house as quietly as I can. Luckily, I'm up the stairs in seconds without being noticed.

Once I'm in my bedroom, I collapse on my bed, ready for sleep. But first, I reach for the letter on my nightstand, wanting to read it again. It's no easier this time around.

I fall asleep with it clutched in my hand and a goddamn lump in my throat.

*T*

Tap, tap, tap.

"Edward," Mom calls from the other side of the door. "Time to get up."

Rolling over, I look at my clock. Fucking A. It's seven a.m.

"I need your help, remember? Get up." She's entirely too happy in the morning.

"Ugh, Mom. Why so early?" I bury my head under my pillow, thinking maybe she'll quit being so relentless.

The door opens and she walks over to my bed, pulling my pillow-shield away.

"Because, we have to decorate this morning, and I need your muscle."

"Where's Carlisle?" I groan. I'm being difficult, but fuck me, I'm exhausted.

"Working." She's annoyed and tosses my pillow on the bed. "We need to hurry so I can start preparing the food too, so quit complaining."

My eyes are closed, but I can imagine she has her hip cocked and one hand resting on it.

"I don't even know why a fall cookout, slash Carlisle-promotion dinner is necessary." I huff. "Who even goes to those things anyway?"

"Lots of people."

"Like who?" I'm stalling because my bed is hella comfortable, and as long as my ass is lying down, then I'm happy.

"Like Carlisle's co-workers, a few of our friends from Seattle, Auntie and Uncle, some neighbors, and of course, Bella's family."

"What? Why?" I ask. I heard Mom clear as day, but Bella's family has never been invited to a dinner or a cookout. Not that we've had many, but it's weird they're coming.

"I thought you'd like Bella here. However, Carlisle and Charlie have become friends, not to mention Sue is nice and I like her. Anyway, stop stalling. I know what you're trying to do. Now, get...what's this?" Mom asks.

Opening one eye, I see she's bending down, picking something up off the floor. I sit straight up when I notice Bella's letter in her hand.

"Nothing! It's none of your business." I snatch it away.

Her face morphs into a scowl.

I tuck the letter underneath me, and die a little. I'd be mortified if Mom read any part of that letter. I'm not sure how I'd explain.

Mom interrupts my thoughts. "I won't read your little love letter."

"It's not!" I get out of bed, grabbing the letter from under my covers and my phone off the nightstand, then brush past her, and make my way to the bathroom.

"It's pink, must be from a girl. Maybe Bella?" She giggles. Somehow, she's less annoyed now that I've moved my ass off the bed.

"Shut up," I mumble under my breath.

"What'd you say?" she asks.

"Leave me alone, will ya? I need a minute to myself before you work me to death."

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed, huh?"

Stripping out of my clothes, I fire back, "I wouldn't have if someone hadn't woken me up." So fucking early, I finish in my head.

The shower is almost too hot, but I stay under the spray until I'm fully awake, skin hot pink and numb. All I can think about is last night when I held Bella in my arms—she felt so good. And then when we walked to our cars and I took Bella's hand—it almost felt...natural. God, will we ever hold hands again? Do I even want that? I'm still so confused.

I groan as I turn off the shower. I wonder if Bella will show up at our party tonight? If she does, how am I going to handle it? Maybe I need a friend here as a buffer.

I wrap a towel around my waist and get my phone off the counter. Opening a text to Jake I type:

Wanna hang at my place tonight?

A few minutes pass. I'm dressed and on my way down to help Mom, when I receive a reply.

It's the ass crack of dawn.

No shit. My mom woke me up an hour ago to help her get ready for a fucking party.

So, what, you need me to hold your hand at your parents' party? I'm touched, man.

Can you come or not?

That's what she said.

Just get your ass over here at 7. And thanks.

Okay, I'll be there.

Then, a couple of minutes later, I get another text from Jake.

And you're fucking welcome.

I'm smiling as I walk into the kitchen to find Mom already organizing party supplies.

"You certainly look like you're in a better mood," Mom says, handing me a box of streamers and stuff.

I shrug. "Well, you've always told me, if you can't beat 'em, join em'."

She's laughing as she follows me outside into the backyard with her own armload.

It kinda feels good to be doing something with Mom. At least maybe it'll help me stop stressing about what's going to happen tonight.

But then, as I drop my last box on the patio table, I make the mistake of looking over my shoulder at Bella's window, and all the calm I felt leaves just as fucking fast.

"What's wrong?" Mom asks.

"Oh...I was just…it's nothing."

Mom steps over to me and looks up into my face, serious and with concern. "Edward, I hope you know, there isn't anything you could tell me that would make me not love you. I've turned a blind eye to some things lately, thinking when you were ready you'd come talk to me." She touches my arm. "You're my son, and I love you. I know being a teenager is hard, so if there's anything you want to share with me, I'm ready to listen."

I look Mom in the eyes, and decide; maybe it's time to come clean with her soon.

A/N:

For those of you wondering about my vacation, it was AMAZING. I'm already missing the mountains of Colorado, and my boyfriend's hometown of Salt Lake City. I'm wanting to skip town again and run away...FOREVAH!

I'm also 50 and fabulous now. Ha ha! I'm pretty much celebrating all month with anything that contains sugar. ;)

Thank you all for your continued support.

T and MC, thank you for doing your thing.

XO,

OhGee