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Chapter 27

Please

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"If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want,

and all that is left is a compromise."

-Robert Fritz

~*~


I could tell that as we pulled away from Charlie's Bella wasn't doing as I had asked her. I wanted her to forget everything for one night….for this night. I wanted her to let the thoughts of the storm building up around us go. Push them back so we could have this one night to be completely alone.

Maybe it was a lot to ask considering the magnitude of our problems….both external and internal; maybe it was even a little selfish of me. But for once I didn't care. Bella deserved a night of peace more than I did.

So I would wait, bide my time until I had her all to myself in the large empty house. Once I accomplished that I was all too confident in my power of distraction.

In the meantime I studied Bella's face as her eyes searched the dark road for the turn off to my house. I knew—even without taking my eyes off her profile—we were getting close.

I knew Bella knew too because her ancient truck was now creeping down the road while she leaned forward, her eyes squinting. But she hadn't spotted it yet.

I chuckled quietly and when we were at the drive I leaned across the seat and pointed to the left side of the road. "There," I murmured.

Her head turned in the direction I was pointing and I could make out enough of her refection in the dark window to see her eyes roll.

"Maybe Alice should have kept a set of lights up," she said while making the turn. "At least until I get better night vision," she added, the smile on her face ruining the sarcasm.

I chuckled louder this time, not letting her nonchalance of becoming immortal faze me as it usually would. If I was going to be selfish and ask her to forget the worries that plagued her and more or less demand for her undivided attention for the following hours, I could at least be decent enough to take my own advice.

And as we wound slowly through the forest, the dim moonlight flickering down through the branches would glitter once in a while against Bella's focused brown eyes and I knew that—for me at least—taking my own advice would be no problem.

After we passed the last bend of trees the house's lights came into full view. I was still focused on Bella's face and when the soft glow touched her features I felt the anticipation expand inside me…. fill me to the breaking point.

Before the ancient engine had stopped it's groaning I had Bella's door open and her tender body pulled into mine. Pressing her as close as I could with one arm I reached swiftly into the truck bed and pulled her bag onto my shoulder.

Then—at last—I had her soft lips molded around mine.

I continued to move my lips slowly over her eager ones as I swooped her up into my arms. Then with a quick turn and a light kick to the rusted truck door I dashed up the front steps and swung my front door open.

Bella's arms reached up, her fingers weaving through the strands of hair at the base of my neck. Fiery tremors spread down my back at the touch, but I refused to allow any distance between us as pulled her up closer.

My lips were eager against hers now, trying to match her own and express the exhilarating excitement I had for this night, while at the same time my mind reminded my hands, arms, and lips to be agonizingly gentle.

It wasn't until Bella's heavy breaths filled the air that I forced myself to pull away, a chuckle of pure elation escaping me at this wholly carefree moment. It seemed not even the physical barrier between us –like her need for oxygen—could dampen the mood as it usually would. For either her or me.

Bella's body was still curled up against me so I pulled my arms away; holding her out so I could see the deep flush in her cheeks and the shine in her eyes I knew would be there.

"Welcome home," I breathed, mesmerized by her bright excited eyes.

When was the last time I had seen that? When was the last time we were able to share that kind of kiss?

Too long.

"That sounds nice," she said, her voice still breathless. I beamed, feeling my lips widen even further when she returned the smile.

It was with great reluctance that I set Bella back on her feet, but I couldn't help another grin when she immediately wrapped her arms around my waist. It seemed she didn't want distance between us anymore than I did.

Instinctively I leaned down and kissed the top of her head lightly. "I have something for you," I said trying to keep my tone light, despite the overwhelming excitement.

"Oh?"

"Your hand-me-down, remember?" I murmured into her hair. "You said that was allowable."

"Oh, that's right," she grumbled. "I guess I did say that."

I pulled her back gently and looked down, chuckling at her expression. There was no way she was getting out of this one. It was a done deal.

"It's up in my room. Shall I go get it?"

Her eyes lit up at my words; though I didn't understand why. Was she actually eager for a gift?

"Sure," she said. "Let's go."

I stared at her, caught off guard by her sudden enthusiasm.

Then as I looked into that beautiful flushed face I could see my refection in her wide eyes and my face mirrored hers exactly.

It was just her and me. My head was beautifully silent, my mind completely my own and able to absorb every minute detail about this night in peace.

Unexpectedly the blissful excitement exploded inside me and I could no longer contain myself. That part of me that Rosalie has labeled more than once as being immature took over; and sweeping Bella gently up into my arms again I flew up the stairs.

I didn't pause as I placed her back on her feet inside my bedroom and darted to the closet. I didn't realize how fast I was actually moving as I reached for the old wooden box and pulled out one of my mother's most precious jewels until I made it back to Bella and saw that she was nearly in the same place I had left her, having only took maybe half a step in my absence.

I stopped in front of her, grinning in anticipation, but she walked past me, leaving a trail of warmth and flowers to follow to the bed. I watched in amused silence as she crawled slowly to the middle of the mattress, folding her legs into her chest and resting her chin on her knees.

"Okay," she mumbled, trying to sound reluctant; but I could see the way her lips fought against curling up at the corners, "Let me have it."

Laughter escaped me as I climbed up beside her; her forced negative reaction to my gift/hand-me-down did nothing to lessen my enthusiasm.

I settled into the warm air that surrounded her body and immediately heard and felt an increase in her heart rate as it thickened and pulsed the air around me. Exasperation filled me at her sudden reaction.

"A hand-me-down," I reminded her. Her reactions were catching up with me and making me feel nervous despite Alice's reassurance.

Without waiting for Bella to speak I reached swiftly for her wrist, pulling it away from her leg. I turned her hand till the silver ringlet directly across from the wooden wolf was exposed. Then with a soft press of my fingers I closed the metal links together, permanently attaching the diamond heart.

I let go immediately and she pulled her arm back. Bella's eyes fell on the new trinket with evident curiosity and I waited three long heartbeats for her reaction.

Bella gasped softly bringing her wrist closer to her face.

Trying to push back the familiar 'de ja vu'—a symptom of living too long with Alice—I said softly, "It was my mother's."

I shrugged my shoulders in an attempt to make this moment seem less important that it really was to me. "I inherited quite a few baubles like this…." I went on when Bella didn't speak or look at me. "I've given some to Esme and Alice both. So clearly, this is not a big deal in anyway."

Bella smiled a bit at my words, though her eyes continued to gaze at the stone heart.

"But I thought it was a good representation," I murmured, watching the fragmented light sparkle on the smooth skin of her face. "It's hard and cold…." I laughed quietly. "And it throws rainbows in the sunlight."

A small but breathtaking smile graced Bella's lips. She tilted her head to the side slightly, her eyes still transfixed on the diamond. Since she hadn't said anything I'd take her visible fixation as approval.

"You forget the most important similarity," she said quietly. "It's beautiful."

I finally took my eyes from her face to examine the jewel for the first time. Seeing my mother's charm, something from my human life, something that was uniquely mine, a part of me, resting against Bella's soft skin made my chest swell in unexpected ways.

"My heart is just as silent…." I mused, my eyes as transfixed on the diamond heart now as hers. It was right. Perfect. Bella had and deserved every part of me. "And it too is yours" I whispered as she twisted her hand, watching the bright glimmers dance across her skin.

"Thank you," she whispered back "For both."

I looked back up and her gaze was now fixated on me. The light fragments glittered in her eyes, mixing with the excitement, love, and appreciation that was suddenly there. It all swirled together in the rich brown and the sight was beautiful.

"No thank you," I grinned, brushing her hair back over her shoulder. "It's a relief to have you accept a gift so easily." I grinned wider at my small but meaningful victory. "Good practice for you, too."

Instead of rolling her eyes, like I expected her too, Bella gazed at my face, her eyes suddenly serious as if she was looking for something in mine. Then I saw a different emotion flicker across her features. But before I could see what it was, or if I had truly seen it at all, she leaned forward, lifting my arm and snuggling deep into my side.

Her arms snaked around my waist until her hands rested soft and unbelievably warm against my lower back. I returned the gesture automatically….lightly holding her body to mine. Her cheek was molded to my chest; her ear placed exactly where my heart should have been beating.

"Can we discuss something?" she asked after a moment.

Before I could answer she went on quickly….her words sounding almost nervous. "I'd appreciate it if you could begin by being open-minded."

I hesitated, confused at the tone of her voice. "I'll give it my best effort," I agreed cautiously.

"I'm not breaking any rules here…." she said abruptly; defending her topic of discussion before I even knew what it was. "….this is strictly about you and me."

I relaxed some, glad that this conversation wouldn't involve newborns, Jacob Black, the coming fight, Victoria, Jacob Black, or….or any other problem I had pushed to the back of my mind and nearly forgotten about. Till now.

"So…." Bella began, her voice picking up a strange business quality. "I was impressed by how well we were able to compromise the other night. I was thinking I would like to apply the same principles to a different situation."

I realized I should probably be more nervous about what Bella was planning to negotiate with me, but I couldn't help smiling into her hair as she finished. I could tell that despite how cute and amusing Bella sounded to my ears, she was being completely serious.

I swallowed thickly, pushing down the chuckle that was fighting its way up my throat. "What would you like to negotiate?" I finally managed to ask politely.

At my simple question though, her heart—which was already beating faster than normal—began to beat frantically in her chest. It vibrated through me, nearly humming. Her blood picked up as it flowed through her veins, increasing the heat against my chest from her neck and face.

"Listen to your heart fly. It's fluttering like a humming birds wings." My humor was completely gone now. In its place was surprise at her unexpected reaction and a burning curiosity at what was behind it all.

"Are you alright?" I added, not liking how nervous she was here in my arms. Scared almost.

"I'm great," she squeaked, her arms tightening around me.

"Please go on then." I urged as I felt the familiar obsession to hear her thoughts embrace me with its impatience.

"Well, I guess, first, I wanted to talk to you about that whole ridiculous marriage condition thing."

"It's only ridiculous to you," I added automatically. "What about it?"

"I was wondering…." She hesitated before taking in a deep breath. "Is that open to negotiation?"

I frowned no longer amused as the topic of conversation was finally revealed. I dropped my arms and leaned away slightly so I could see her face more clearly. "I've already made the largest concession by far and away…." I said flatly unable to keep the anger from my voice. "I've agreed to take your life away against my better judgment." My voice was growing harder as the truth of my words replaced my former bliss with bitterness, "And that ought to entitle me to a few compromises on your part."

Bella shook her head "No." she said, her voice final. "That parts a done deal."

I breathed out heavily in frustration but she went on. "We're not discussing my….renovations right now. I want to hammer out some other details."

Repressing the urge to scoff angrily at her light term renovations I asked, even more cautious than before, "Which details to you mean exactly?"

"Let's clarify your prerequisites first."

"You know what I want," I said at once.

Her face hardened "Matrimony…." she all but spat. I couldn't help the smile that formed on my face, despite the direction of this conversation.

"Yes." I agreed. "To start with."

Her eyes widened in disbelief. "There's more!" she nearly yelled.

"Well," I began "If you're my wife, then what's mine is yours….like tuition money." I said slyly, having thought this through more than once. "So there would be no problem with Dartmouth."

A gust of air escaped Bella's mouth as she gaped at me, her eyes wide. "Anything else?" she asked loudly in disbelief. "While you're already being absurd."

I sobered immediately. "I wouldn't mind some time." I whispered truthfully.

"No." The word was automatic and sure. As it always was. "No time. That's a deal breaker right there."

"Just a year or two?" I shamelessly begged.

She shook her head, no negotiation to be found in her set features. "Move along to the next one."

I sighed again. "That's it." Then added lightly. "Unless you'd like to talk cars." I smiled at her expected grimace, reaching down to take her left hand in both of mine.

"I didn't realize there was anything else you wanted besides being transformed into a monster yourself." I said, running the tips of my fingers across her knuckles…. "I'm extremely curious." I couldn't imagine much less make a guess as to what could be on her mind. What could she possibly want?

Bella dropped her gaze, watching as I fiddled absentmindedly with her empty third finger. Realizing my action I stopped and entwined her soft fingers through mine, squeezing reassuringly.

I waited, listening as her heart picked up its earlier frantic beat.

Then a familiar heat began to radiate from her and I watched in fascination as the deep red seeped slowly from beneath her light shirt. It spread thickly up her neck, pooling dark and hot into her pale cheeks. With every thud of her heart the blood thickened, deepening the bright color till it filled her features completely.

I wasn't sure if I had ever seen Bella blush so deeply before and my hand reached out of its own accord. I grazed her cheek lightly, the heat of her skin scorching my finger tips.

"Your blushing?" I asked in surprise, my curiosity expanding into a raw need. Her lack of response was unbearable. "Please Bella, the suspense is painful."

Her lip went between her teeth, stalling any chance of me receiving an explanation.

"Bella!"

She sighed at my tone and finally mumbled, "Well, I'm a little worried…." She paused and then barely whispered. "….about after."

I tensed. Her words filling me with dread. But there was also a sense of relief. I was apprehensive and slightly afraid to hear her worries but also pleased at the same time.

Because despite Bella's complete willingness to join me in this world I knew she had worries and I was pleased she was willing to –not only admit them- but share them with me.

"What has you worried?" I asked softly, moving my hand from her cheek to brush a strand of hair lightly from her face.

Her answer came hushed and fast. "All of you just seem so convinced that the only thing I'm going to be interested in is slaughtering everyone in town."

I flinched at her words and the complete truth they held, but she went on….

"And I'm afraid I'll be so preoccupied with the mayhem that I won't be me anymore. And that I won't….I won't want you the same way I do now."

"Bella…" I said soothingly, trying to ease the fear that was clear in her voice. "….that part doesn't last forever." I ducked my head trying to catch her eyes but she evaded me.

"Edward," she hesitated, the heat radiating from her face impossibly increasing. "There's something that I want to do before I'm not human anymore."

I closed my eyes tightly, trying to push away the pain. 'Not human anymore'

"Whatever you want," I said fiercely. Anything. She should know there wasn't anything I wouldn't do for her.

"Do you promise?"

"Yes," I answered immediately. "Tell me what you want, and you can have it."

It wasn't in my power, in my being to deny her anything. Alice's visions of the future…of those beautiful brown eyes being washed out forever with crimson proved that and then some.

I waited, my body frozen and breathing stalled. I could feel the nervousness escaping her almost as if Jasper was present in the room with us and I was exposed to his mind.

"You," she finally chocked out.

I smiled. "I'm yours," I said in exasperation and agitation of not having the power to read her mind in this moment.

Once more I tried reading her eyes but she ducked her head further, taking in a deep ragged breath.

And then she was on her knees and lunging towards me.

I quickly lifted my hands to her shoulders, lessening the blow her body would have made with my chest. At the same time her arms encircled my neck tightly and her lips collided with mine.

I gasped softly, caught off guard, but managed to kiss her back gently.

Her kiss was feverish and urgent and I tried desperately to figure out what she was doing….what she had meant.

Was she trying to distract me?, to drop the subject? I could not allow that. Her voice when she had whispered she wanted something before she was no longer human was burned into my mind. I couldn't not know now.

All the human experiences she hadn't had yet, all the things I wished she would give me more time for, was time she never aloud. It was always 'I'll get to them after' or 'you're all that matters'.

Bella had made it a point more than once that joining me and my family was more important than anything else.

So why now?

What had changed?

What was it she wanted?

I'd give anything. How could I not? She was sacrificing her humanity for me, risking her beautiful soul....the least I could do was make the best of the time she had left with a beating heart, let her experience those precious moments as best I could, precious moments that would be gone once my venom filled her heart and silenced it forever.

I was just about to push her hot face away from mine and demand that she just tell me, when I finally got my answer.

I had been so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realize her hands had moved from my neck until I felt her trembling fingers at the buttons of my shirt.

There was a split second where my mind recognized what Bella was doing and my body suddenly reacted in a way I had never felt before. An electrical current –familiar because it was the same I had felt the very first time I had ever touched her bare skin- and completely foreign because of the magnitude.

White heat flooded from Bella's fingers and filled my body. Increasing each time her unsteady fingers brushed against my skin. It was a fiery electricity that filled me from head to toe, but it wasn't painful….it was anything but painful.

I froze, pulling my lips roughly from hers and clamping them shut against the sudden and unexpected venom that began to flow. At the same time my muscles locked up in a strange struggle, pushing back the unfamiliar instinct. An instinct that was far from being a predator for its prey.

It all made sense now. Her every word, every blush, every action.

I pushed her away more roughly than I intended, physically tearing the current of desire she was pouring into me.

"Be reasonable, Bella," I said, harsh anger filling my voice. I wasn't sure exactly what had caused it, whether it was the loss of contact, her attempt to trick me with her words, or her so called negotiation, I didn't know.

"You promised," she said, sounding just as angry. "Whatever I wanted."

I glared at her beautiful flushed face. "We're not having this discussion," I snapped as I quickly buttoned the top two buttons of my shirt, trying to ignore the left over current still humming beneath my skin.

Bella's jaw clamped closed. "I say we are," she spat out between her teeth. Her hands flashed to her shirt and pulled, while mine blurred to her wrists, stopping the thin fabric from tearing the buttons loose.

"I say we're not."

"You wanted to know!"

"I thought it would be faintly reasonable!"

Her face flushed again, though not with embarrassment this time. "So you can ask for any stupid, ridiculous thing you want—like getting married—but I'm not allowed to even discuss what I…"

I quickly gripped both her wrists in one hand and placed the other over her mouth.

Her words and tone were true. It was unfair. I was being selfish. But it didn't matter.

For the first time ever I was able to look into the eyes I loved….loved beyond reason, and speak the small word without hesitation, regret, or pain.

"No."

Bella breathed in deeply through her nose, as my right hand was still covering her mouth, and let it out roughly, coating my skin with warm moist breath.

Neither of us moved from our positions…. but after several heartbeats Bella's brow furrowed and she relaxed. Her arms went limp in my hand where I was still holding her wrists and her shoulders fell.

I immediately felt guilty for losing my temper and being so harsh, but I couldn't help it. I could still feel the hard anger and breathed deeply trying to push it away.

I just couldn't believe what she had been trying to do. We have had this conversation more than once. I'd explained it to her the very first time I'd ever laid with her in her bed.

We couldn't….not now. No matter how much we both may want it. It just wasn't possible.

I released Bella's wrists, setting them in her lap and ran my free hand through my hair in frustration. I was slowly beginning to see where the harsh anger had come from. It wasn't aimed so much at Bella as it was aimed at myself.

Because it wasn't her quick, careless advances or her fast anger that had upset me. It was the simple painful fact that I couldn't give her what she wanted. Not this time.

The internal civil war between my mind and body was never-ending. It was maddening.

My eager need to give her anything she asked of me and the overwhelming instinct to keep her safe always clashed together with fierce force.

But this time was so much different. There would be no compromise. I couldn't even consider it open-minded as she had asked me too, because it was me who was putting her at risk and I couldn't do that. Ever.

Bella's heart was steadily slowing back to its normal pace, her breathing deep and steady as it hit my hand with warm moist beats. Nearly a minute past like this, neither one of us moving.

She was still looking down and I was still completely lost for words. I didn't know what to say because the only word I could think of was No.

I couldn't.

Not now.

It hurt….unbelievably so, but not enough to let my guard down.

It was too risky….anything could go wrong. I wish Bella would comprehend how very dangerous it would be for her to be that physically close to me.

Right now, with my hand cupped over her mouth, all it would take was a simple twitch of a finger to cause damage. The risk was too much.

A noise escaped my chest…. surprising me. It was something between a groan and a sigh.

I should have known I'd ruin this night.

I could tell Bella was upset with me. The little of her face that I could see told me as much. Her body was stiff now and I could smell and hear the blood filling her cheeks again, flowing under my fingers.

I slid my hand down, placing a finger beneath her chin. "What now?" I asked lifting her flushed face back up.

"Nothing."

Confusion filled me. She was more than disappointed.

Her voice was hushed and sounded….delicate….vulnerable.

My brow furrowed as I examined her face, trying to read the strange emotion. Her eyes caught mine for a second and then looked away, her chin pulling against my hold as she tried to turn her head away from me.

It was enough though. Enough to see that the soft brown were too moist.

It was worse than I thought. I hadn't angered her with my harsh refusal. I had hurt her.

"Did I hurt your feelings?" I asked in shock. The words were wrong, because I would never do that, and yet….I had.

"No," she lied, her voice thick. My chest tightened as guilt gripped my still heart.

I immediately scooped her up and pressed her against my chest. I held her head to my shoulder, trying to physically remove the hurt I had unintentionally….but obviously thoroughly caused.

"You know why I have to say no," I murmured desperately. The disgust with myself in this moment was too much. And it was made all the more worst because I couldn't give in. Not this time.

"You know I want you too."

"Do you?" she whispered in a small doubt-filled voice.

I laughed once in painful disbelief, "Of course I do you silly, beautiful, oversensitive girl. Doesn't everyone?" I asked bleakly.

"I feel like there's a line behind me, jocking for position, waiting for me to a make a big enough mistake." I said, sharing my own doubts and letting them mix with hers. "You're too desirable for your own good."

"Who's being silly now?" she grumbled against my shoulder.

I raised my eyebrows though she could see. "Do I have to send a petition around to get you to believe?" I asked. "Shall I tell you whose name would be on the top of the list? You know a few of them, but some might surprise you."

My only response was the soft movement against my shoulder as she shook her head. "You're just trying to distract me." She muttered, her voice picking up its former aggravation. "Let's get back to the subject" she demanded.

I sighed at her determined tone, and though I'd take it over the desolation and hurt in her voice any day, I sighed, because I knew the argument was far from over.

"Tell me if I have anything wrong." She began, her voice removed, as if she were speaking to herself more than to me. "Your demands are marriage, paying my tuition, more time, and you wouldn't mind if my vehicle went a little faster….Did I miss anything?"

I pressed my lips together to keep from smiling. A negotiating Bella—despite the subject—was too much.

"That's a hefty list," she added when I didn't comment.

"Only the first is a demand," I murmured, unable to keep the humor from my voice. "The rest are merely requests." Compared to Bella becoming my wife I could wait an eternity for the rest.

"And my lone, solitary demand is…."

"Demand?" I asked in surprise, the humor gone as fast as it had come.

"Yes, Demand!" She said loudly.

My eyes narrowed at her serious tone. She knew…knew how dangerous her demand was….knew it was far from being little.

"Getting married is a stretch for me," she went on. "I'm not going in unless I get something in return."

There was so much fight in her. I hated the fact that once again I would have to break it.

I leaned down, placing my lips gently against her ear. "No," I murmured softly, the word painful but permanent. "It's not possible now." My voice was close to pleading but also firm. "Later when you're less breakable. Be patient Bella."

"But that's the problem," she nearly moaned, the emotion she was trying to push back leaking out in her words. "It won't be the same when I'm less breakable….I won't be the same! I don't know who I'll be then!"

Her voice rose as she finished, desperate to make me understand. I was slowly realizing that this was something I couldn't understand though. Not fully.

"You'll still be Bella," I soothed, running my fingers through her hair softly.

When she spoke again her voice was cold in a way I had never heard before. "If I'm so far gone that I'd want to kill Charlie—that I'd drink Jacob's blood, or Angela's if I got the chance—how can that be true?"

I resisted the urge to flinch at her words, because I knew she was right.

"It will pass," I promised into her hair. "And I doubt you'll want to drink the dog's blood," I added, disgusted at the very thought. "Even as a newborn you'll have better taste than that."

Bella's hands clenched in my shirt, her fists holding the fabric tightly. "But that will always be what I want most won't it?" she demanded fiercely. "Blood, blood, and more blood."

Her words hit home, and honestly hurt a bit. "The fact that you are still alive is proof that that is not true." I stated quietly.

"Over eighty years later!" she blurted. "What I meant was physically, though." She said, her hand's releasing my shirt and pressing into my chest, emphasizing her words. "Intellectually I know I'll be able to be myself….after a while. But the purely physical, I will always be thirsty more than anything else."

Her well laid out words told me this wasn't a spare of the moment demand. She'd thought this through….she'd finally recognized—for once—what giving up one's humanity involved. At least in this one matter.

I couldn't answer. I Couldn't answer because I didn't have an argument. Bella was right. And she knew it as much as I did.

"So I will be different," she finally said into the silence. "Because right now, physically, there's nothing I want more than you." She nuzzled closer into my shoulder, effectively spreading her warmth deeper into my skin.

"More than food or water or oxygen. Intellectually, I have my priorities in a slightly more sensible order. But physical…." Her hands ran up my chest slowly as she turned her head. Her hot lips met my cold palm in a soft but firm kiss that immediately ignited the former electrical charge.

My breath hitched as the current traveled the length of my arm and pooled into my chest.

I breathed in raggedly, trying to pull back my control. "Bella I could kill you," I whispered, my voice agonized and full of the struggle inside.

Bella's next words cut through me though, steadying me at just the right time.

"I don't think you could." Her words were filled with belief and trust….careless, reckless trust.

I moved my hand from her face, personally severing the connection again. I reached behind me and secured an iron rose in my hand, easily ripping it from the bed frame.

Bella flinched at the loud screeching and pulled back, her eyes shocked.

I held my hand out to her, the beautiful iron sculpture laying delicacy in my dangerous hand. Without removing my eyes from her confused face I squeezed lightly, the metal disintegrating with less consistency than a clump of dirt.

I opened my fingers and Bella stared wide-eyed at the dark mold of my hand. Then I watched from the reflection in her eyes as it fell apart into a million tiny grains. Nothing left of its former beauty.

It was so easy, just a simple contraction of my fingers. Didn't she realize it wouldn't even take a fraction of that strength to shatter her.

Bella's eyes finally moved from my hand to glare up at me. And I was suddenly angry again when I didn't see even a flicker of hesitation….much less fear.

"That's not what I meant," she snapped. "I know how strong you are, you didn't need to break the furniture."

"What did you mean then?" I snapped back, unable to stop myself. I was fed up with this conversation and now on top of that I was disgusted with the iron sand still sitting in my upturned hand. I flung it across the room.

Bella stared at me for a moment, clearly struggling for words. Finally she rolled her eyes. "Obviously not that you aren't physically able to hurt me, if you wanted to….more that you don't, so much so that I don't think you ever could."

I was shaking my head halfway through her explanation, because it didn't work like that. I didn't know exactly how it worked.

"It might not work like that Bella." The desire to let loose just when I was kissing her was too much of a challenge at times, I couldn't even imagine taking it further. All it would take was one wrong, accidental move.

"Might," she said sourly. "You have no more idea what you're talking about than I do."

"Exactly." That was the exact problem of this whole thing. The unknown. "Do you imagine I would ever take that kind of risk with you?"

She didn't answer. Her brown eyes searched mine deeply, Scanning I knew for any waver in my defense. She would find none.

Because as unimaginable as it sounded—even in my own ears—her safety over-road my never-ending desire to give her anything she asked of me.

Bella's face suddenly fell at what she couldn't find in mine. She slumped forward and cast her eyes down, defeat written in every movement.

"Please."

As the whispered, defeated plea fell from her lips something inside me changed drastically.

I froze. Shocked and confused. The soft word seemed to crack something inside.

"It's all I want. Please."

My confusion fell away, only to be replaced by fear as I realized the cracking seemed to be radiating from my impenetrable defense.

My breathing—no matter how unnecessary—picked up speed.

I couldn't.

Not this time.

Just because this seemed to be the first time Bella had ever asked something of me, solely for herself, just because she was pleading with me to give her a human experience before she threw her humanity away for me, just because I wished with every fiber of my being I could give it to her, give her my whole self, didn't mean that I should. Didn't make it right.

Bella's eyes were closed as I tried to force the unnecessary air into my now constricted chest.

What was wrong with me?

How could everything change in the space of two seconds?

Why?....Why was she asking this of me?

So many times I had begged Bella to think about what she was giving up, to realize what she was leaving behind. Her father, her mother, her human friends, her future with children, her beautiful heart, her soul, her humanity. And when she finally realizes one of the many sacrifices she would be making it was this.

Of all the things she asks for the chance to experience she asks for the one thing I myself had never even considered—and not because of the over whelming risk it would involve for her—but because this was one experience I never had the chance to have myself.

I honestly never considered sex as one of the many sacrifices Bella would make because by the time I acknowledge that missing piece in myself it was already too late. Out of reach.

That fact never bothered me though, because even as a human boy that was the furthest thing from my mind, love was the furthest thing from my mind.

But then and after, human and then vampire, that was a time before Bella was born, so of course I couldn't miss or crave something I didn't have….that didn't exist yet.

But she did.

Bella was still human and she had me, she loved me, she wanted me. Wanted me in a way I had never wanted another person when I was human.

As I felt Bella's warmth enveloping me I knew if the roles were reversed I'd want the same thing. Because she was here now, here in this time. And I may not be human but it did nothing to lessen the need I felt for her.

"Please?"

I focused my eyes again to see Bella staring up at me, her eyes surprised and hopeful as she witnessed my impossible hesitation.

Was that it?

Was I actually hesitating?

"You don't have to make me any guarantees." She rushed out in one breath. Her heart was beating frantically again, matching the pace of the words spilling from her mouth.

"If it doesn't work out right, well then, that's that. Just let us try….only try. And I'll marry you, I'll let you pay for Dartmouth, and I won't even complain about the bribe to get me in. You can even buy me a faster car if that makes you happy! Just…Please."

I pulled her back to my chest, desperately trying to stall the moment when my will crumpled; hoping against hope her body would hold mine together as the one wall I thought she would never tear down disintegrated, turned to dust like the iron rose.

Only her stone grasp had been one soft spoken word.

"This is unbearable," I moaned, hanging by my nails. "So many things I've wanted to give you—and this is what you decide to demand." I nuzzled my face closer into her hot neck. "Do you have any idea how painful it is, trying to refuse you when you plead with me this way?"

She breathed in shakily, her breath as unsteady as mine now. "Then don't refuse."

I kissed her neck lightly knowing if I spoke it wouldn't be another denial. My fight was gone.

"Please," She breathed again, trembling lightly at my touch.

"Bella," I moaned, defenseless and vulnerable in her soft hands.

But then I hesitated, because even though my defense was no longer in existence I couldn't find the words of agreement. Just the thought of surrendering in my mind was terrifying.

Though I didn't speak it aloud I did cave. Slowly I began to take a too dangerous risk and test myself. Test us both.

Carefully I moved my lips across her tender throat. Her fast moving blood throbbed against my mouth, igniting my throat in a painful blaze.

Painful but bearable. Painful but safe. Safe because there was no blood lust beneath the pain. It hadn't been that was for a long while now and I was glad the lessen my being had learned that unspeakable day last summer was still in effect.

Bella's heart accelerated rapidly at my slow, but very clear advances. She turned in my arms and met my lips with a raw eagerness that immediately triggered my own.

I cupped her face just as eager and kissed her back fiercely. Despite the large physical differences in our hands and mouths we moved in sync with each other.

Each time our lips met I pressed just a fraction closer, desperate and unbelievably eager.

The electricity seemed to be a living thing now, no longer inside but seeping from my body and enveloping her too.

It was so powerful. Just Bella, just me, and her rapid beating heart, her quick shaky breaths mingling with mine. Both fast and demanding.

I wasn't sure exactly how it happened but Bella's body was now flush with mine, her hot skin molding around me. Her overheated body burned into my chest sending shivers down my spine. Or maybe it was the soft shaking off her hands as she pulled herself impossibly closer…maybe both.

I was far too gone to fully register the fact that it could be my icy skin that caused the trembling in her, but she showed no sign of stopping and for once I didn't make her.

I hadn't realized how long I held her soft lips prisoner until she tilted her head up and sucked in some much needed air. I didn't pause, trailing my lips down her neck I peppered the pulsating skin with firm kisses.

I hadn't let go completely, but I did give my body a bit more control over my mind, allowed Bella and I what we both wanted. As I explored her skin I found some balance within myself. Instead of allowing my insides to struggle against one another for dominace I pulled them apart. While my mind analyzed every move, every kiss, and every touch, I let my body absorb her every touch.

Bella's fingers were fast and steady this time as she undid every button on my shirt without interference. I nearly faltered as my mind screamed for caution and my body yearned for more. It was a weak echo of the former civil war but I quickly withdrew; separating the two forces before they made me stop.

I gained control just in time for Bella to run her hot hands up my bare chest. I gasped softly against her throat at the contact. The contrast between my frozen skin and her burning palms was nearly painful. The heat seeped beneath my stone skin, softening my muscles and stirring my silent heat.

Bella was so close, she was everywhere. So much so that the powerful beat of her heart filled me too. I could feel the pulsating blood flowing beneath the thin layer of her skin, filling my limbs with a warm hum that dominated my senses to the point that all I could feel was Bella.

Bella's hands made their way up my chest a second time, leaving a trail of heat and electricity. This time however she gripped my neck and pulled against it. I obeyed immediately, dipping my head and meeting her lips again.

With one hand I cupped her face, breathing her in through my mouth. My other hand trailed down her arm and around her hip. I pressed her lower back with just enough strength to pull her closer, flush against my bare skin.

The hum inside me turned into a steady fierce beat. Her heart—which was beating so powerfully—hit my chest violently. It was so fierce that the rapid 'tha-thump tha-thump tha-thump' radiated into my body and echoed through my arms.

In this moment would swear I could remember what it felt like to have a beating heart, something I thought had been burned away and buried with a century of living without it.

In this endless moment, as I kissed my Bella as deeply as I dared and held her as tightly as her fragile body would allow, I was alive in a way I should, by all rights, never be.

I had a beating heart again.

I already knew Bella was my heart now, but this was the first time I felt it. Felt it in a way I never imagined was possible.

All the sensations running through my body was so intense I never wanted to stop.

It was new.

It was scary.

It was perfect.

It wasn't enough.

Suddenly I wanted her even closer.

I wanted all of Isabella Swan and I wanted to give her all of Edward Masen.

And yet I was still in control. There wasn't the slightest flicker of fear in my mind that I would hurt her.

As long as I kept my mind and body on separate ground….maybe, just maybe….I could try.

But only try.

The emotions that filled me at this thought mixed with the feelings her touches were giving me and I knew I had to have more….and I would do everything I could to try and give her the experience she could only have as a human.

But then Bella's hands dropped to her shirt again and I froze.

This had to be enough.

For tonight.

Though I was willing to try I was nowhere near ready to.

I needed to speak with Carlisle for one and second: there was something I wanted in return before I agreed to this step.

Now there were two things we both wanted. We both had demands of the other that coincidentally seemed to fall together.

So we would do this right.

I—for once—would do this right.


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Well there's part one of Compromise. I was a little nervous, as this was a part alot of people was looking forward to. So I hope you enjoyed.

Also for those whoe haven't seen it yet I have a rather short "one-shot" posted called 'Fighting Heaven'. It's Edward's POV During Renesmee's birth as he tries to bring Bella back. Check it out if you have the time and let me know what you think. ;)

Till next time. ;)