Sara sits on the bed paralyzed long after Catherine has left her view. Finally her mind turns back on and she is able to function. Grissom is here. Okay. Grissom is here….can't let Cat do this on her own. On the other hand Grissom is here. No! Pull yourself together Catherine needs you. Grissom is here. Okay Sara I think you have established that. Clothes. Clothes, I need clothes! Sara untangles herself from the blankets, and searches the room for clothes. She is pulling on her shirt as she leaves the room her heart is pounding; threatening to explode, and her hands are shaking making it difficult for her to finish her task. Breath. Slow deep breaths. No matter what remember you need to breath or you will be no help to Catherine. The brunette stands around the corner, and tunes her ears into the conversation taking place in the next room. She is struggling to shut off the annoying voice in the back of her head that is commanding her to turn around and wait for Catherine in the bedroom. Grissom's voice forces its way into her mind. "Catherine why are you being so stubborn?"
"Because Gil what is going on with me is none of your business unless I invite you into my life!"
"You could at least tell me name of the other victim."
"No Gris. Why are you pushing so hard?"
"Because Catherine you are hiding something from me."
"That's my right Grissom. You do not need to be involved in every aspect of my life."
"Well I'm sorry. When did that change? Last time I checked you were even inviting me into your sex life!"
"Don't go there Grissom. Things change!"
"Tell me who the other person is Catherine, and then I will leave."
"No Gil. What the hell? You know I can't do that even if I wanted to. I agreed to protect the identity of both victims."
"It is a closed case Catherine we both know you don't have to, and it will leak into the media sooner or later."
"So wait until then."
"Fine. Please Catherine tell me what has happened to you."
"I don't know what you are talking about Gil."
"I'm not blind. I thought we were friends."
"We are, but I don't want to talk about it." Sara can feel her anger rising at Grissom's unwavering persistence. She wants him to leave Catherine alone. The blonde has been through enough, and if she can help it she will at least change the direction of his focus. She takes a deep breath trying to force the lump in her throat back down. She quietly steps into the room, and is unnoticed by Grissom who is
standing with his back to her as he stares out the window. She briefly glances at Catherine who's expression has horror written all over it. She gives the blonde a weak smile, and is about to say something as Grissom begins to speak again not turning around.
"What do you mean you don't want to talk about it Catherine? I thought nothing happened." Sara watches the anger flash across the blonde's face the same anger Sara feels burning inside. She catches Catherine's attention just before the blonde is about to snap back, and puts a finger over her lips. Catherine wants to protest but she sees the anger, and hurt playing in Sara's eyes so she stops herself.
Sara takes another deep breath, and begins to speak her voice coming out in barely more than a whisper. "I was the other victim Gil. Now you can leave Catherine alone." Grissom whips around after hearing the familiar voice of the woman who still owns his heart.
"Sara I…" He stops as the brunette holds up her hand and crosses the room taking as seat on the couch next to the blonde.
"Grissom I want you to leave Catherine alone about this. She said she doesn't want to talk." Grissom nods and takes a seat in the chair facing the two women his legs too weak to hold him up anymore.
"Sara where have you been? I've been so worried about you. What are you doing here? Have you been here the whole time?"
"I'm visiting my…my friend Gil. Am I not allowed to do that?" Catherine is slightly hurt that Sara called her a friend, but she knows the brunette must be on overload so she doesn't push the issue. She wants to reach out and give Sara as much comfort as she can, but she senses the younger woman would refuse physical contact if she tried.
"How long have you been here?"
"A few days. Now will you please leave Gil, Catherine doesn't need this."
"No Sara, sweetie its fine. I will tell Gil. I owe it to him, but I couldn't give him half of the story I would feel bad. Maybe after you can tell him what happened to you? Gil you are going to be here for a while. I'm going to make coffee and get some clothes on then I will be bad. Will the two of you be okay alone?" Catherine gets two small nods and is semi-satisfied as she leaves the room. Sara didn't have to do that. It was sweet. This could have all been avoided though if I had paid more attention to Grissom in the first place. Catherine attempts to pick up pieces of the quiet conversation in the other room as she starts the coffee. So far it seems to only be small talk. She enters the living room having put on jeans and a tank top carefully balancing three cups of steaming coffee in her hands. Sara rushes over to the blonde to help and takes a cup subtly grazing the older woman's hand. She sits on the couch and glances around. The air is heavy with emotions that each person is afraid to bring out into the open. Catherine sips her coffee and sighs trying to think of the best way to start. She feels Sara rubbing small circles on her back. She is not sure if the brunette is doing it to comfort her or comfort herself, but she doesn't mind because it is nice. "I guess it all started right after I had talked to you about Sara…" Catherine senses Sara tense beside her at the mention of her name. Both people listen to her with full
attention as she once again repeats her experience. You'd think the more I tell it the less it would hurt and the less it would affect me, but it doesn't it is just as bad as the first time. Catherine returns to the room, and takes in the two people surrounding her. Grissom has an expression of pure horror on his face, and if she is not mistaken she can see tears in his eyes. The heat of Sara's anger is radiating off of the brunette and onto Catherine.
"I'm sorry Catherine I shouldn't have pushed I didn't realize it was so bad."
"I haven't told you the after effects yet Grissom. I thought Sara should get her word in first."
"I don't know if that is a good idea Cat." The brunette observes the bags under Catherine's eyes and watches her yawn. "On the other hand why don't I finish the story, and you can go get some sleep."
"I won't be able to sleep. Not after what I just talked about. Not without y…." Catherine realizes what she is saying and stops herself. They hadn't said anything to Grissom, and Catherine has gotten the impression that Sara is not planning on it.
Sara knows what Catherine wants to say so she takes a pillow, and places it on her lap before making the blonde lay her head down on the younger woman's lap. She runs her hands through Catherine's silky blonde locks, and looks up at Grissom. "I remember my jaw hitting the floor as I was frozen staring at the back of a familiar head that held very familiar blonde hair. I knew right away who it was. I had spent the past seven years with that person, and you kind of just know those things…you know? Still I couldn't believe Catherine was sitting in my office. I went over so many different situations, yet I never saw it coming." Catherine drifts off listening to the sound of Sara's beautiful voice lulling her to sleep.
Sara finishes telling Grissom about the trial, and looks up into his eyes for the first time. Her heart is being ripped out of her chest as she falls deeper into those familiar ice blue eyes. He is asking her 'why?' She can feel the tears stinging her eyes, and the only thing allowing her to hold them back is the thought of the blonde on her lap, and the feel of the hair between her fingers. She rips herself away from the cold blue surrounding her, and focuses her attention out the window trying to get a moment to compose herself. Damn you Grissom. Every time. The expected feeling of numb doesn't come to relieve Sara though instead her feelings for Grissom hit her full force, and she wants to be sick. Grissom not getting his answers form Sara's eyes, or demeanor decides he will take the first step. He takes Sara's free hand in his getting her attention. "Why Sara?"
"I told you Gil, ghosts. My Past. I needed to escape. I didn't want to leave Vegas. Leave the closest thing I had ever had to a family, but I did. It wasn't what I wanted it was what I needed."
"Now that you are back…"
"No Gil."
"You didn't even get me a chance to finish what I was going to say."
"I have a feeling I know what you were going to say, and the answer is no."
"Why not Sara? We had something special before."
"Now that I look back Gil, I see mostly pain on my half. That is not something special. What I have now is something special, and I am not willing to give it up for a past flame."
"Wait… you're…you're involved with someone else already?" His voice is weak and broken. Why don't you just punch me in the stomach Grissom?
"Yes." Sara answers in little more than a whisper.
"What's his name?" Grissom's voice is much louder on the border of yelling.
"Why does that matter? Keep your voice down you are going to wake up Cath!"
"No why should I?" Sara sees the light bulb go off in Grissom's mind. She then feels fingers curl around hers and she realizes what she has done. Looking over her hand is in Catherine's. She had grabbed it for comfort. "Oh God Sara tell me it's not…" Catherine can hear a loud voice somewhere in the distance. It is tugging at her, bringing her back into reality. She opens her eyes, and is blinded by the bright world she has entered. Laying there she listens to Grissom. "Please tell me it's not Catherine Sara! My best friend. A woman. Did you leave me for a woman?" Catherine can hear the anger in Grissom's loud voice. Wait. Grissom's loud voice? Oh shit that is not good! Grissom almost never raises his voice. This is not at all good. Catherine attempts to open her eyes, and is much more successful this time. She is staring at Sara's stomach. She can feel the brunette's hand on her ear trying to block out the noises. She turns onto her back and looks around at the scene in front of her. Grissom is standing up pacing back and forth, while Sara has worry playing on the features of her face. Catherine gives Sara's hand a squeeze earning her the brunette's attention.
"Hey Baby. Sorry to wake you."
"It's okay. What is going on?"
"I'm waiting for Sara to confirm whether or not she is now involved with another woman. Maybe you can tell me buddy." His last word is filled with venom.
"I…" She looks at Sara for permission. For something. Sara nods, and turns her head toward the window. "Yeah Grissom she is. I have a feeling you have already figured out that woman is me."
"HOW COULD YOU!" Grissom is too far out there to come back, and both women know this. There is only one time Catherine has seen Grissom like this and that was when he was in the interview room with Natalie. Neither of them are certain what he is capable of, or what will now happen.
"Grissom calm down." Catherine takes the lead knowing Sara can't face the man right now. Because that man is her everything.
"Calm down how you can expect me to calm down!? You are supposed to be my friend Catherine. Instead you go around behind my back sleeping with the woman you know I love!"
"Whoa Grissom that is uncalled for! You have no idea what me and Sara are or aren't doing!" Catherine is now standing facing Grissom. Sara has seemed to have retreated inside herself, and is no longer any help to either of them.
"I thought you were above that Catherine, but apparently I'm wrong. Apparently you will do absolutely anything for sex. And you…" Grissom turns his attention to Sara who does not acknowledge his attention. If she does notice him she is doing a very good job of hiding it. Catherine is standing mouth open in shock and anger. Her system has shut down from overload so she watches helplessly as Grissom advances on the brunette.
"I thought you loved me. I risked everything for you, because you said you loved me; that you would never leave me!" Sara directs her gaze toward Grissom, but remains silent and expressionless. "How could you do this? You of all people. After all you have been through I thought at least you would understand pain, and you would do anything to avoid causing it for those that you love. Oh wait I just answered my own question. You don't love me!" A tear escapes Sara's grip, and travels freely down her cheek. This doesn't stop Grissom. It doesn't even faze him. Catherine is positive he doesn't even see it. She watches in horror as Grissom lifts his arm and hits Sara across the face. The brunette's eyes are wise with fear. Catherine's senses finally turn back on, and she runs in front of Sara to block her from the monster. Not the man. Not Grissom. The monster. The person standing there that neither of them know.
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW!"
"Catherine I..." He is standing looking at his hand memorized by it.
"No Gil you have gone too far. Get out of my house NOW!" Grissom turns and leaves his head hanging in defeat. Catherine turns to Sara, and pulls the brunette into her. "Sara are you okay?" She doesn't say anything she returns to staring out the window. Catherine sits next to her and waits. The brunette abruptly gets up and walks out the door acting as if Catherine isn't even there.
TBC...
