AN: Wow!! You guys must've really enjoyed that last chapter because I got over 200 reviews just for that one. So, because I love you guys so much, I'm giving you this next update and it hasn't even been a month yet!! (Just kidding).
So on another note, Kittenmischief is holding a contest. But not just any contest mind you. This is a Hot Bitch contest. That's right all you Carlisle fans, this is for you. If you have a thing for daddies (and he is one flaming hot dad), then rush over to their profile. It's located under my favorite authors. Also, twilightmom and I got together and we're writing a one shot for this contest, so head on over there and take a looksie at all the talented people writing about HB.
I got people saying that last chapter was a bit short. And to that I say…because I love you, I bring you 15 pages of this chapterJ. Alright my peeps…ENJOY!!
Song: Torn by Natalie Imbruglia
Im all out of faith, this is how I feel
Im cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed into something real
Im wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
Youre a little late, Im already torn
I couldn't get over what I did to Bella…what I said to her.
Exactly. I HAVE to look out for number one, Bella. Nobody else will. Besides, no one here is worth my time or effort.
Even for me that was harsh…it was low.
Not that I didn't agree with the first half of what I wrote. I did. I HAD to look out for number one…me. I realized that if I didn't, I'd just end up getting hurt again…feeling like my life, my world, was ripped from my hands. Just thinking about that time in my life made my throat swell up.
But on the other hand…I shouldn't have insinuated to Bella that she was included in that lump of girls. It was true that nobody, none of the girls I had been with, were worth my time. But telling her she was a part of that group…well, not my brightest move.
God, but it needed to get done. I knew what I was doing the minute I wrote it down and gave it to her. She needs to get herself away from me…and fast. I was hoping that I'd piss her off enough to either quit the lessons or hurry them up so she can get out of my life…get out of the bubble that I had created for myself.
Here, I was safe. Away from people, away from prying eyes…where I could just be alone and not hurt anymore. I loved my family, Bella included, more than anything in this whole fucked up world; but it was those types of feelings that scared me. I mean, you can't get hurt if you don't care, right?
And besides…Bella needed to be with someone who didn't have so many problems…without all this emotional shit. I would never, ever be good enough for someone like her. She really was an angel for putting up with all my bullshit.
I had this insane urge to find her and tell her how sorry I was. Tell her that I didn't mean that awful remark. Bella's different. She's even different from Rose and Alice; I don't know how, but she is. She really is…special. If anyone in this school is worth getting to know, it would be Bella.
I banged my head on my locker door out of frustration when I heard a soft spoken voice behind me.
"You okay there, Edward?"
I turned around and saw Angela standing behind me and Ben standing beside her. He was holding her books for her…like a true gentleman.
I sighed. "Hey Ang."
"What's up?"
I shrugged my shoulders, not really sure if I wanted to talk about it or not. Especially to Angela.
"Edward, you know I'm here if you need to talk, right?"
I looked away, down the long hallway and nodded. They were having a pep rally today so the hallways were loaded with kids putting their stuff away in their lockers and grabbing what they needed to go to the gym.
"Okay, well, I'll be going. My number hasn't changed so give me a call if you need to."
Ben grabbed her hand and they started walking off together when I yelled, "Ang! Wait up!"
She turned and looked at me, a soft smile playing on her lips. "Yes?"
God, I just can't remember the last time I'd really looked into Angela's caring eyes. It hurt so much to look at her and yet, I needed to ask her something.
"Can I ask you something? If you don't mind?"
She nodded. "Sure, what is it?"
"Well, I kinda screwed up really bad. I mean, seriously bad. I don't know how to fix it."
"Oh. Well, what did you do?"
I shook my head at her, screwing my face up. I did not want to go there with her. Not only would I get a beating about what I wrote but who I wrote it too as well.
"It was something I said. It was bad, but I didn't mean it."
Angela stared off into space, thinking about her answer to me. She then turned to me and scrutinized my face…and then my eyes. If anybody could read me, it would be Angela.
"Alright. I can see that you're sorry. So, apologize."
"What? That's it?"
"Yes…in a way. It's nice to verbally hear what a prick you were and that you weren't thinking straight. Tell her you didn't mean what you said and that you are extremely sorry. It would help if you looked at her straight in the eyes so that she knew you were telling the truth. Then, prepare to grovel if you have to."
I looked down at my wrist. I had been subconsciously playing around with my brown friendship bracelet we had gotten so long ago. I stared at it and thought about Bella and her understanding and patient brown eyes.
God I was such a dick. I murmured, "Even if I have to grovel…"
I looked up at Angela and said, "Wait. How did you know it was a girl that I had offended?"
She smiled and said, "With you, it usually is. I just guessed."
Hmmm…makes sense. "Well, thanks. You always did know what to say to me."
She gave me a quick hug, waved bye and was off with Ben again. There was no way that I could ever repay Angela for her wisdom.
I quickly left my locker and walked down the hallway toward the gym.
I had a new vision now…a vision of finding Bella and telling her how sorry I am. And yes…I was prepared to grovel. I'd never had to grovel to anybody before but I figured there was a first for everything.
Now where would I find her?
Oh I know…probably up in a girl's bathroom somewhere crying. Maybe I could find Rose or Alice and have them search the bathrooms for me before they go out and cheer…
Speak of the devil…there they were.
"Rose! Alice! Hey wait up!!"
I jogged up to them and they turned around to look at me…both of them glaring. I had a feeling they'd recently spoken to Bella. Shit.
"Oh, hey Dickward. What do you want?"
I rolled my eyes at her childishness. "Clever Rose. Did you come up with that all by yourself?"
"What do you want?"
"Okay look. I think I said something that was not very smart of me to say to Bella. I think I might've hurt her feelings. I need you guys to help me search the girls bathroom's for her. She's probably in there crying right now."
"Why in the world do you think she's in the bathrooms crying?" Alice did not look to kind.
"Well, because I hurt her. I mean, isn't that what girls do when a guy hurts their feelings?"
Rosalie rolled her eyes at me. "You, my dear brother, have watched one too many sappy chick flicks. We DO NOT cry our eyes out. We…get even."
What?
"Anyway, Bella was here with us. You just missed her. She's right up there…see her? Right by Mike, Tyler and Eric."
I looked ahead of where we were and saw Bella right were Alice had so graciously pointed her out.
Holy Fuck…
I could hear the smile in Rose's voice when she spoke. "Yeah, we helped her with her wardrobe just now. Turns out she wanted a more 'updated' look…a la me and Alice."
Updated was NOT the word I would've used. More like slutty…or whore-ish. She was going to kill me.
There she was in the shortest school girl skirt I had ever seen…and that's saying something. It hung to just right below her ass and her shirt was no better. Her girls were practically popping out of her top as the first two buttons were undone, leaving nothing to the imagination. Her hair was up in a messy bun, held up by a pencil.
But what's worse? Those turds were crowded around her, raking her up and down with their greedy eyes, drinking in her body…her curves.
I swallowed the lump that was in my throat. I looked to my side and saw the she devils waving at me as they walked away.
"See you later, Edward. Have fun at the pep-rally!"
I did the only thing I could think of. I flipped them the bird as they walked away. Fuckin' bitches, I swear. Why the hell do I hang out with them?
I walked faster, gathering speed as I got closer to them. This time, there was a big group of guys, all listening to Bella with rapt attention. I had no idea what in the world she was saying, just that the guys were all smiles as long as she was talking.
As soon as I got close enough to fully see and hear everything, I stopped. I knew Bella saw me…she knew I was here. I just leaned back on my heels and crossed my arms over my chest and waited.
I mean, this was Bella we were talking about here. There's no way in HELL she'd have the guts to do anything with anyone here. She's not wired like that. She's different. I haven't changed her that much. So, with that in mind, I just smirked in her direction, daring her to take it further.
She wouldn't.
She was boxed in, leaning up against the lockers and giving all the dogs a good show of her front side. I decided to tune into their conversation just so that I could make sure that Bella wouldn't embarrass herself in any way. Not that I cared, I mean, it was her funeral.
"So Bella, how long is your hair, really? Can we see it?" Eric was the closest to her and I knew for a fact that he had this strange fetish for girls with long hair. What a perv. Having Bella stand there in her school uniform and having her hair come down from that make-shift bun? Surely she could see that he wasn't serious…that he just wanted to ogle her.
Before I realized what was happening, she reached up with her arm and slipped the pencil out of her hair, allowing her chocolate colored hair to come cascading down in curls all around her. She brushed her hand in her hair, fluffing it out and moving her head back and forth to make sure it fanned out all around her.
Eric, that fucking sick pig, leaned in and breathed deeply. Mother fucker… I knew exactly what he was smelling. It was strawberry…the smell of her shampoo. It was the same scent I would smell when we were together in my room. The same smell that was all over my bed…
No matter. Like I said…this was Bella. She wouldn't take it too far. She couldn't…she wouldn't.
She wouldn't.
I heard Bella speaking. "Yeah, it's shorter than what it was before. I got it cut and colored not too long ago. What do you boys think?"
There were a series of yay's around her as she stood there and gave them her best smile. She ran her hand through Eric's hair and said, "I think your hair's pretty nice as well, Eric. I wouldn't mind running my hands through it…"
God, she was so close to him…it seemed as if she was whispering in his ear. What the hell? Where did that come from?
She continued to laugh and talk to all of them, giving them coy glances and smirks. I didn't understand how she could do this…how could she act like this?
Still, I reminded myself that this was Bella. She wouldn't cross the line. Of this, I was positive about.
Then why are you still standing here watching her?
Because…somebody has to make sure these guys don't take advantage of her. I'm the only one with enough sense to stay behind and make sure she's okay.
Sure buddy. It has nothing to do with the fact that you might be a teensy, weensy bit jealous…right?
Jealous? Me? Of course not! I don't get jealous. Besides…Bella WILL NOT do anything stupid. I am positive.
I am.
She wouldn't.
Yeah…you were wrong before. You thought she was in a bathroom stall crying her eyeballs out over what you said…and instead, here she is.
I took a calming breath and decided to quit my inner monologue. It wasn't making me feel any better.
I looked ahead of us and noticed that James was planted a bit further away from the crowd but he was watching. Yeah…he was watching with rapt interest. God, why can't that fucker just go away already?
I heard Mike Newton ask, "So Bella, when can you and I go out on a date together. I know I could show you a great time."
Bella scoffed and looked at him levelly. "Now why would I want to go out with you, Mike?"
He smiled at her, undeterred at the challenge that she brought him. "Because I know I could give you a night that you would remember forever…that and I'm one hell of a kisser."
Gag me now. Please…like Bella would fall for that lin…
"Are you now? Well, why do we have to wait for our first date for me to find out for myself? Let's see what you're made of Mikey."
And right there, in my face, it happened. Bella reached over and grabbed Mike's chin in her right hand and roughly drug him over to her. She planted her mouth on him and in no time, they were going at it. I was expecting a light peck…maybe a little lip action. But when I saw her tongue snake into his mouth and his tongue on hers…Well, I lost it.
I marched over to where they were all standing and pushed Mike off of her. "Alright, show's over. I think we all have a pep rally to get going to, don't you?"
Mike looked up and glared at me. "What the fuck, Cullen? What's got you're…"
The look on my face was enough to shut him the hell up. I knew that kid had some kind of brains in his head somewhere.
I grabbed Bella's arm and dragged her next to me, swiftly walking away from the crowd and away from James' eyes.
"What the hell, Edward?" Bella was beyond pissed…she was livid.
I knew that I would have hell to pay once it was just us, but until then, I needed to find somewhere we could be alone and talk…or yell as the case may be.
I saw an empty classroom up ahead, away from the gym and far, far away from prying eyes. It was at the end of the hallway and it was dark inside…perfect.
I yanked open the door and threw her in there, closing and locking it behind me.
Both of us were breathing hard and just…trying to calm down. My back was still to her and I was trying to buy some time so that I could gather my thoughts.
Bella didn't give me that time, though.
"What the hell was that, Edward? Why they hell did you go all cave-man on me?"
I took one last calming breath and turned to her. She still looked the same as she did out in that hallway…hair down, shirt open and skirt…well, she might as well have been wearing just her panties.
"What in the world do you think you were doing?! And what the fuck are you wearing? Are you trying to be the school's biggest slut?!"
Her eyes slanted and she took a step toward me. She whispered, "No, that's your job."
Ouch. What the fuck is her problem?
"Bella, I don't understand you. What is your problem with what I do? It's who I am…It's who I've always been."
She shook her head fervently. "No, it's not who you've always been. I know that because I have Rosalie, Alice and Angela to prove that fact. They knew you…knew who you were and now you've become this other person…this thing."
"So your problem with me is the way I live my life? My lifestyle? That's your problem?"
Bella's eyes grew wide as if I was missing the obvious. "Yes!! My God, Edward…of course that's my problem. You think any of us like seeing you use women and just leave them hanging? It's not good for them or for you. I mean, don't you, one day, want to find that someone special and just be with them? Until death do you part?"
Yes. Yes I did. But I would never tell anyone that. Love…life…happiness…it's all so fleeting. One day you have it and are the happiest man in the world and the next day…nothing. It's ripped apart from your hands without so much as a single sorry.
Yeah…like I was falling for that shit again.
"Why can't you girls just accept the fact that I'm happy with the way that I am?" Her eyebrow lifted in skepticism. "No really, I am. And as for those girls, they know what they're getting themselves into. I don't do relationships. I did that, Bella. I did it and I didn't like it. I like being a free bird."
Bella put her hands down from across her chest and played with the button on the bottom of her shirt. "Edward, I'm not saying that you do inappropriate things with the girls. Or that you're ugly or rude to them because I know you're not."
"You do?"
"Yes…girls do gossip. I mean, you don't go all Romeo on them, but they are aware of what it is you want. I just don't want to see you self-destruct."
"What self-destruction?! Bella, I'm perfectly fine and happy being the way I am. You can't save the world even though you want to. I never asked to be changed, Bella. I never promised you that I would be the guy you think I am. I don't know what you're thinking, but you can't change me. I never asked to be changed…to be different. I am who I am. Can't you just live with that?"
Suddenly, her eyes lit up and she looked at me with new found knowledge. She wasn't happy, per se, but it looked like she understood something.
"What?"
"You're right, Edward. I can't change you. I've been a fool to even think it. Rose told me…and Alice told me. Hell, even Angela told me I couldn't change you. And now I understand why. You don't WANT to change, do you? You have to be willing to do it on your own…and you're not. It's like trying to budge an elephant to move with your bare hands. You can't do it…unless the elephant WANTS to move…not even for me."
Finally I get her to understand. She realizes that I'm not going to change…for Rose, for Alice, for Angela or for Bella. But I'm in pain because I realize that I'm pushing her away. I'm doing it for her own good but still…the pain of knowing that I'll never let her into my life…that will be with me always.
"I'm not trying to hurt you or disappoint you…"
"What? You're not hurting me." Bella's defiant eyes bore into my own. Her pride was clearly back in place. "I was just worried about you, that's all. This has nothing to do with me. But now that I know this is what you want and how you'll always be, I'll back off."
Maybe we should change the subject. We're both being a little testy again. "So, why are you dressed like Alice and Rose?"
She looked down at herself and quickly covered up her tits and pulled the skirt a bit lower. Not that I minded…
"I just wanted you to see what it's like to watch someone do something stupid."
"Ah. And that stupid someone would be me?"
"Yes, it would. Obviously I got my answer about how you'll always be a don juan so I'm just going to worry about myself and what I want."
"And what do you want, Bella?"
Without faltering or doubt, she looked right up into my eyes and said, "James."
God…why did I just feel like I got punched in the gut? Why the hell does she do that to me? "And what about Newton?"
Her brow furrowed. "What about him?"
"Well, you kissed him. You really think he's going to let you go after what you just pulled?"
She hung her head and rubbed her face. "Oh God…why don't I think these things through before I do them?"
I chuckled at her naive ness. If it were me, I would've just gone through with going out with him but Bella…
"I'll just have to go out with him. At least once."
"What?"
She looked at my surprised face. "I said, I'll just go out with…"
"I know what you said. I just can't believe you said it."
"Well, I obviously don't want to be alone somewhere with him. He might get the wrong idea since I did kiss him. I'll just bring him along as my date for the Halloween Bash at your house. It'll be perfect since it's full of people. Plus, you, Emmett and Jasper will be there. If he steps out of line, I know you guys would protect me."
I smiled as she said it. It was true. We'd do whatever it takes to make sure our girls were safe and protected. I'd rip apart the balls off the guy who dare hurt her…
Huh. Which brings me to the part I played in hurting her today in Biology.
"I think it's a great idea Bella. Bring him to the house and we'll help you out. If you get any unwanted advances, we'll be there to put him back into his place."
She smiled a bit and said, "Thanks. Well, I'll see you later. We're missing a pep-rally I hear."
"Wait!" I leaned over and grabbed her arm so she couldn't leave anywhere. "I really needed to say something to you."
"Okay. What?"
She tried to act very cool and calm. Nothing hurt her, nothing bothered her. But I knew Bella a bit better than that. I had hurt her deeply. She'd never admit it to me though as she always buried the not so pleasant feelings inside of her. But I saw it in her eyes.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry about what I said back in our Biology class. I needed to let you know that I didn't mean it. You are one of my closest friends that I've got. One of the only ones, actually. I was being stupid and dumb when I wrote what I did."
I looked down and realized I was holding both of her hands in my own. I rubbed them with my own hands, trying to reassure her that I meant what I said.
"Then why did you do it, Edward? If I'm a friend to you, why did you try to hurt me so badly?"
I grabbed her green friendship bracelet and started twirling it around her wrist. I was never good at apologies as I hardly ever gave them.
"I didn't want you to get sucked into my world. I didn't want you to think that I could or would change and that I could…"
I stopped and linked her fingers into mine. I hadn't realized how close I had gotten to her until I heard her whisper, "Could what?"
I looked at her and realized we were so close now. I had backed her up into a wall and I was holding her hands in mine, fingers inside fingers and her face, her eyes, her mouth were just inches from my own.
"That I could be in a relationship some day."
"Well Edward, that's your loss, not mine."
I nodded and looked deeply into her chocolate pools. "Forgive me?"
She swallowed and had her eyes on my mouth. "Don't do it again, Edward. Don't compare me to them. If I mean more to you than they do…don't fuckin' do it again."
"Never," I whispered to her and then I closed the gap to her mouth and kissed her. I wasn't sure if she'd be responsive to me but after a bit of coaxing with my lips, she opened her mouth to me.
I pushed my body into hers, our fingers still entwined, as I tried to convey to her how sorry I really was. I felt her tongue in my mouth, pushing against me, feeling me all over. I, in turn, responded, letting my own mouth claim hers as I took her deep within me.
What started out to be a sweet, apologetic kiss turned out to be one that was full of need…of want…of lust. Her hands let go of mine and she curled them around behind my neck, tugging at my hair. I moaned at the feel of her hands on me as I moved my hips against hers, letting her know what she does to me.
My hands moved up her shirt and slithered underneath her bra. I could feel her nipples harden as I ran my fingers over them. Her moaning urged me to keep going so I took them into my fingers and rolled them.
She broke the kiss and said against my lips, "Ugh. Edward, we can't do it here. We're at school."
I laughed against her mouth as I continued to play with her nipples. "Do you honestly think that's going to stop me? Besides…you want me, don't you?"
"Ahhh…you know I do. I want you…God, I want you…"
I trailed my hand down her skirt and lifted it up. Moving her panties off to the side, I slid my finger up and down her slit, gathering up the juices that had gathered there. I took my finger out and brought it to my mouth and made sure she watched me suck it off. "Mmmm…do you know how good you taste, Bella? I can't get enough of your taste…your smell when you're aroused. Will you let me lick your pussy?"
She was fighting with herself. She wanted me too, that much was certain, but I didn't know what was keeping her from saying yes. Maybe it's the fact that you guys are in school still and you can get into a lot of trouble if you get caught…
"I don't know, Edward…"
Or maybe…
"Bella, I've never, ever given a girl anything in return while I've been at school. This would be my first time doing something like this. I'd like it to be with you, if you'll let me."
She kissed me then, quick and hard. She pulled back and said, "Your first, huh?"
I nodded eagerly. It would be wonderful if, for once, she could be my first at something.
She smiled and half laughed. "I can't believe I'm going to do this, but okay. Let's do it."
I quickly grabbed her hand and led her toward the back of the room before she could change her mind. Ideally, the teacher's desk would've been better for this task, but since its right at the classroom door, that's a no go.
I stopped when I got to the desk farthest away from the door and helped her sit on top of it. The chairs were too low to the ground and I knew she'd be uncomfortable there.
"Lean back slowly and lay down. Your head will be off of the desk but at least you're elevated." I hurriedly took off her panties and stuck them into my pocket. "Lift your legs, Bella, and wrap them around my neck."
She did as I told her to and I bent my head into her legs and took one long lick. God but she tasted good. I let my tongue go back out and lick her all over, tasting her lips, her opening and finally resting on her clit.
"Ooooo Edward. Yes, right there…keep going."
I smiled to myself because Bella was such a live wire. When she was extremely horny, any type of touch set her off. I continued working on her clit, licking it up and down, making sure my tongue was flicking her as fast as I could. My hands were working her thighs, squeezing them and then rubbing them up and down. She had such soft skin.
I changed my tactic and used my tongue to push myself into her awaiting hole. Even with just my tongue, I could tell she was tight and I briefly wondered how our first time would be. I only hoped I'd be able to make it good for her. She deserved her first time to be something she could look back on and enjoy…not regret.
I felt Bella's hand on the back of my head and before I knew it, she was shoving me into her further. "Deeper. Please, go deeper…"
I drove my tongue into her and as swiftly as I could, I used it to tongue fuck her. And God, did she enjoy that. Her hands continued to drive me into her, wanting me to go deeper and harder. I grabbed her hips and tried my best to keep her steady. She kept moving and it was making it harder to drive myself into her.
I lifted my head and breathed, "Are you ready? Do you want to cum?" I knew she wasn't going to hold out much longer.
"Oh…fuck! Yes, yes, make me cum…"
With one last look at her lust filled gaze, I lowered my head onto her swollen clit and sucked. I took her nub into my mouth and sucked gently, then took my tongue and licked it up. She was moving violently at this point, her hips trying to lift themselves off the desk and closer into my mouth.
"Edward…shit…don't…stop! Shit, shit, shit…"
My tongue flicked faster and faster, knowing her release was closing in on her. Just the way she was talking to me assured me of this fact. Bella cursed more than she usually does when she's on the brink…
"Holy fuck!"
There it is. Her body shuddered as I felt her warm juices pouring out of her. I quickly licked up what I could, hoping that I didn't let a single thing drop. Bella's hands continued to run through my hair as she came down off of her high.
Once I was sure she was done and I had wiped everything up, I got off my knees and leaned over her. "All better now, love?"
She smiled a lazy half smile and said, "Definitely all better now."
I took her hand and lifted her off the desk and let her straighten out her skirt. "Umm…where are my panties?"
I grinned at her.
"Edward…give them back. I can't walk out of here with nothing on underneath!"
"Sure you can. Besides, we're going home."
"What? Why?"
I pointed my hands at the clock on the wall. "Because we've been here for the entire length of the pep rally. It's time to leave."
Her eyes widened when she realized I was right. "Shit! We were in here for that long?"
"Yeah, now come on, let's go." I held my hand out to her but she hesitated.
"What's the matter?"
"It's just…you didn't get a chance to cum."
I smiled at her. "It's okay. We don't have to right now."
She looked down at the floor and I barely heard her say, "Oh."
I walked closer to her and lifted her chin. "What is it? What do you mean, oh?"
Bella eyed the door, obviously wishing she could just leave. "I didn't realize that you had already…that someone had already…"
"What?"
She sighed exasperated. "That someone had already finished you off today."
"What?!" Where did she get that idea?
"No. Nobody has gotten me off. In fact, the last person that did so was you."
"Really?"
"Yeah. And the only reason I don't want to do so now is that I don't want to get caught in here. Major trouble for us both."
Bella smiled and nodded, taking my hand and leading us out of the room. She cracked open the door and peered out. When all was clear, we quickly walked out of the room and towards the school parking lot.
"Are you planning on going to the game tonight?" I turned to Bella and asked her as we made our way to my car.
"Of course. Where else would I go? But first, can you take me to my house so I can change? I'm pretty sure the others already made plans to drive together."
I smiled at her and opened up her door. "Yeah. I guess we'll be driving to the game together then."
"I guess so."
I got behind the wheel and hoped, with all that I had, that everything was okay with Bella now.
BPOV
Everything was still not okay with me. Edward would always be…Edward. He made that much clear. He didn't want a relationship. He didn't crave one at all. He really did enjoy being a 'free bird' as he called it.
I glanced over at him as he drove the Volvo over to my house. He looked calm…at peace. I turned back around and looked out my window.
But could he truly be happy the way he is? In fact, why did I care? Edward had always been just Edward to me. I'd never known him the way that the other girls described. This was the Edward I'd always known. The one sitting right here beside me. The one with the amazing tongue…and hands…and hair…
Crap. I always zoned out when I thought about Edward. Anyway, back on point. Why did I care? Because he was my friend, that's why. He's helped me to be the sexual being that I am right now. Everything that I know is because of him and I just want what's best for him. That's all.
Except, I couldn't help but have this nagging feeling that it wasn't just that. I couldn't pin-point it exactly, but I knew there was more. I knew it would come to me. I'd figure it out soon enough.
I leaned back into my seat and closed my eyes.
"You okay there, Bella?"
"Yeah, I'm just a bit tired. But I'll be fine when we go out and join the others."
He nodded and continued to look at the road.
I thought back at the conversation that we had. He did seem sorry about how he hurt my feelings. The thing with Edward is that, I'm not sure I can trust him. I'm not even sure I could believe him. He seemed sincere but I realized that Edward is a great actor. He can make you believe anything he wants you to.
I wasn't sure exactly what I was wanting from him. He did say sorry and really, what else could I expect of him? It's just that, sometimes, sorry isn't good enough. But I didn't want to drag this out with him longer than necessary. My time with him was limited now. We've touched over a lot of things now and the only thing left for me to do is to have sex.
My mind reeled at that possibility. Was I ready? Was this what I wanted? Did I want to lose it to Edward?
I knew what the answer was to all those questions. Yes. Yes to all of them.
But when?
I glanced back over at Edward and he seemed to be deep in thought about something. I suppose the best way to approach this would be to talk to him about it. Find out when the best time to do the deed would be.
No. I didn't want it to be planned. That would just put too much pressure on me and him. It should be spontaneous but feel right. I guess we'll know when the time comes.
"We're here."
I looked up and noticed that we were at my house. "I'll just wait in the car while you run up. I'm going to call the guys and let them know not to eat all the pizza until we get there."
"Alright, sounds good."
I undid my seatbelt and walked into my house and up to my room. I quickly changed out of my school uniform, remembering that I had to ask Edward for my panties back, and threw it into the laundry chute.
I put on my most comfortable jeans and a t shirt, threw my shoes on and quickly pulled my hair back. Yeah, I thought, I'm not the prettiest girl on the block but this should pass.
I ran back down the stairs and locked up the house. Edward was sitting behind the wheel waiting for me as I jumped back in.
"That was quick. What, no primping with hot irons and make-up?"
I smirked. "Edward, this is me we're talking about. I'm low key."
He smiled back. "Yes, and thank God for that. Besides, you don't need all that shit on you anyway. You're beautiful as is."
Oh God. Now I was blushing. "Just drive, you moron."
He laughed and hit the road.
Refusing to think back on the topic of my first time, I thought about his first time pleasing a girl at school. And that it had been me. I felt this unexplainable giddiness bubbling inside me at the thought.
God, what is wrong with me?
I stared out the window and thought about something else. Another first that we could do together. And then, it hit me.
"Pull over."
Edward looked at me, worry on his face. "Is there something wrong?"
"Yeah actually there is. Just pull over there, behind those trees."
He quickly nodded, looking like he was on the verge of a panic attack. He parked where I asked him to, behind a dense amount of trees that hid us from the main road.
"Bella, if you're not feeling well, you need to let me know…"
I quickly undid my belt and threw myself over to him. The space was small, sure, but I was determined.
I kissed him quickly hoping that he would respond.
He did.
His arms circled around my back and drew me into him, crushing my lips into him even harder. I kissed him a bit more, steeling myself for what I wanted to do with him. I mean, the worst he could do was say no, right?
I pulled back and quickly threw my hands down to his pants and worked the button.
"Bella, what the hell are you doing?"
"I'm trying to create another first with you."
He looked confused at first, clearly not understanding since giving him a blow job was not a first.
But giving him a blow job inside his beloved car…
I continued to undo his pants as I saw the idea dawn on him.
"Bella…"
I stopped. I wasn't going to force him into this. I wanted this to be a good experience for both of us. "You don't want to?"
"No, it's just that…"
I sat back and said, "Edward, its okay if you don't want to. I'm not going to do this if it's not something you want."
He leaned over to me and replied, "Oh I want it. I was just wondering two things. One, is it okay with you?"
I quickly nodded my head. "Okay then, two, I have nothing to clean up with. What are we going to do about that?"
This time, I smiled at him. "Don't be absurd Edward. I'm swallowing."
I heard a moan escape his lips as he closed his eyes. This was my chance.
I pushed him back into the seat and adjusted myself in my seat so that I could lean over to his seat without having anything poking me in odd places. Once I was done, I pulled out his rock hard cock and pumped him a few times.
He was just as delicious looking as I remembered him. Now to see if the taste was also as I remembered.
I lowered myself and took him into my mouth, working him slowly until he was all wet up.
"Oh Bella…"
Apparently I was doing it right. I used my tongue to lick him all up and swirled it all around his head. I tasted my favorite thing right at the tip and I sucked it right up. Another moan from him and I knew I was on a roll.
I pushed my mouth down on him as much as I could and started pumping myself up and down. I couldn't reach his balls since they were still stuck in his pants so I used my hand to run up and down his thigh.
His hand landed on the back of my head and assisted me with the rhythm that he wanted. I could feel his hips lifting up from the seat and I knew he was getting close.
"I'm…going…to…"
I hummed all around his dick as my head was going up and down faster and faster on him. "Shit…Bella, here it comes."
I shoved him into my mouth as deep as I could and I felt him let go. The warm liquid made its way down my throat as I sucked out everything that I could. I wanted him to feel just as good as he'd made me feel back in that room.
My rhythm slowed as his hand left my head, falling limply to his side. After I made sure I licked up every last drop, I picked my head up from his lap and sat back.
He turned his head to me and smiled lazily. "Wow, Bella, that was…"
"Really?"
He nodded. "Hell yeah. And thanks for being another first. Actually, you'll probably be the only one for this. I'm not sure I could let another girl do this with me in my car."
"Why not?"
"I don't know. It must be the same reason as my room, you know? It's just too personal. I mean, it's mine…my own sanctuary of sorts."
"Huh. Well, thanks for letting me do that, Edward."
"Are you kidding? I should be thanking you. I'm the one that got all the pleasure here."
I laughed at him and our craziness at what we just did. And the fact that it was my idea.
We quickly made our way back out onto the road and headed toward the pizza parlor. I knew the whole gang would be waiting there for us and while I was glad of that…I was delighted they'd have pizza waiting there for us even more. I was starved.
We made it inside and found them sitting around a table.
"Hey guys! Where the hell have you been?! Pizza's getting cold here!"
Edward and I laughed as they made room for us at the table. I sat down and grabbed a slice quickly, not bothering to wait on Edward. I noticed him about to sit when Jasper reached over to him.
"Hey, what's this?"
He pulled on the piece of fabric sticking out of Edward's pocket and held it out in front of everyone.
Oh shit! My panties!!
AN: Ha ha ha. Poor Bella. Well, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I had lots of fun writing it out, let me tell you.
Okay so the Truth or Dare chapter will probably be the next thing coming up. I've got a list of things at the ready so if you wanted to add something to that list, better let me know now, otherwise, forever hold your peace.
James. Lots of people are telling me to write more James, and for that I have to say: There will be PLENTY of James coming up in future chapters. He is NOT a minor character. Yes, there will be interaction between him and Bella and him and Edward. Don't worry, you will get your dose of James.
Alright folks, so I'd love to hear y'alls comments on this chapter. Remember, reviews equal love!!
