CHAPTER 28

A continuous beeping sound made its way through the haze of broken sleep and Peyton scrunched up her face. It was too light; she definitely wasn't in her bed. The beeping stopped and movement awakened her senses, opening her eyes a minute later she squinted upwards. Lucas' bare back was facing her and letting her eyes rake over him she realised that he was buttoning up his jeans; that was when she realised she was lying on the couch.

Realisation hit her like a tidal wave. Derek- shot- surgery… and then the memory of just a few hours ago filtered into her thoughts. She'd slept with Lucas. She felt numb- too numb to actually filter any of her emotions.

Lucas turned around and hesitantly caught her eyes, he didn't smile- he just looked at her before bending down and picking up a few items of clothing. He passed them to her without a word and just as quickly walked away, pulling his shirt on as he went. She dressed silently and he came back just as she'd finished. Without a word they made their way to the door, pulling on their jackets as they went.


As they walked down the hospital corridor Peyton took in a deep breath. She didn't know what was worse- the wait to find out how Derek was doing or receiving the actual news. Seeing Derek's doctor she sucked in another audible breath and looked down as she felt Lucas' hand slide its way into hers. Somehow it calmed her and she squeezed his hand as the doctor noticed the two and proceeded towards them.

'Miss Sawyer.' He greeted and then inclined his head to Lucas.

'How's Derek?' Peyton asked, her voice quiet and yet determinedly strong.

'As I told you yesterday, surgery was successful and I'm pleased to say that so far he's reacted very well. He's still under observation but this is good news. In fact waking up is simply up to him now.

'Thank you.' Peyton whispered, 'Thank you so much.'

The doctor smiled at her with a nod before moving on and giving them a little privacy. Peyton turned to Lucas straight away and couldn't help but grin, then without warning tears filled her eyes and she closed them. Lucas let out a small tired laugh before rubbing her arms.

'Hey, he's fine.' He said smiling.

'I know- I just- I was so scared of-' She cut herself off and let out a sniffle. Then in a surprise move she gently wrapped her arms around him, he closed his eyes and tightened his arms around her small body.

'Everything's okay now.' He whispered and he felt her nod into his chest.

He didn't know whether or not to believe his own words.


'I got coffee.' Lucas said and Peyton raised her eyes to meet his form as he closed the door behind him.

'Thanks.' She said taking the polystyrene cup from him and focusing her eyes back on Derek's sleeping form.

'No change huh?'

Peyton shook her head and Lucas took a seat on the other side of the bed, taking a sip from his own cup.

'You don't need to stay Luke.'

'I told you I'm here for you-'

'And I know you are. You have been. But we've been here for hours and who knows when anything will change.'

Lucas leaned forward and Peyton's eyes left Derek to fix on him instead, 'I'm staying Peyt… for as long as you need me.'

She couldn't think of anything to say and so she just smiled and fixed her gaze on Derek instead. She couldn't tell him she didn't need him because however much she tried to deny it- she did. And she just couldn't say something that might hurt him after all that he'd done for her over the past twenty four hours. He'd been there when she'd had no one else to turn to and he'd continued to be there ever since. She closed her eyes as she remembered the way she'd acted in the early hours of the very same morning. She didn't feel as if he'd taken advantage of her at all because the truth was that it was the other way around. She'd taken advantage of him. She'd wanted a distraction; she'd wanted to get lost in them because she knew that when they were together everything else melted away… she'd effectively used him. And she felt ridiculously guilty. He'd been amazing throughout this whole process and she'd taken advantage of his good nature, of his willingness to do whatever she needed to make her feel better.

Closing her eyes she squeezed Derek's hand a little tighter and willed away the tears. Lucas was too good for her. He'd never meant to hurt her with the article and she'd completely pushed his buttons- got him so angry at her that they hadn't spoken in months. Then when he tried to help her she… seduced him.

God, she was a horrible person.

All she could think was that she was over hurting him, she was over punishing him for something that wasn't entirely his fault and she was going to make sure he didn't feel any more obligations towards her.


'You think he can hear us?' Lucas asked and Peyton let out a small chuckle.

'I don't know. But he sure is taking his time to wake up.'

'Uhuh' Lucas replied running a tired hand over his face.

'Luke, you're exhausted. Seriously, go home, I'm fine.'

Lucas smirked and Peyton's heart flipped at the familiar trademark, 'I'm not going to spell it out for you again.'

She rolled her eyes at him with a small smile and then in an instant felt Derek's hand twitch in hers. She jumped up quickly and Lucas seemed startled.

'Derek?' She asked.

There was silence for a minute before Derek spoke with a completely hoarse voice, 'Hey little sis.'

Peyton's eyes welled with tears once more as her brother's eyes opened. She grabbed the cup by the side of his bed, filled it with water and made sure Derek drank some before putting the cup down again. Then before the two men knew what was happening Peyton slapped Derek's chest as lightly as she could, 'You idiot, you nearly got yourself killed!' Then just as suddenly she hugged him.

'What happened?' Peyton asked a moment later in a slightly softer tone, pulling away from him but keeping a firm grip on his hand.

'I was on patrol and I just- lost focus I guess. Then I can't really remember the rest.'

'God Derek, please don't do that ever again.' Peyton said and her voice wavered slightly.

'I'm sorry.' He murmured placing a hand over Peyton's. He turned his eyes slowly to Lucas' and smiled a little.

'Thought I heard reporter boy's voice too. You here getting a scoop?'

Lucas grinned, 'I'm reporter free, actually. I'm here because- well Peyton was worried sick and she needed someone.'

Derek's eyes flickered towards Peyton, who was gazing at Lucas with something close to adoration, to Lucas who was staring right back. Suddenly feeling as if he were a third wheel he cleared his throat and both sets of eyes returned to him.

'Well then thank you Lucas. For being here for Peyton.'

'No problem. Glad your okay too man.'

'Ain't nothing stopping Sergeant Sommers.'

'Okayyy.' Peyton replied elongating the 'y'. 'I'd prefer it if you tried not to joke about the fact that you just nearly died.'

'Nearly Peyt.' Derek smiled and Peyton frowned, 'I nearly died.'

'I'm not sure where you're going with this?'

'I lived. I didn't die and I know that was a miracle. But it was given to me for a reason; don't dwell on the past, live for the future.'

At his words Peyton chanced a small glance at Lucas who met her eyes with a small smile.


After hours of assuring Peyton that he would be fine Derek had finally persuaded her to go home and then to carry on the tour. Peyton had been set on quitting the last leg of the tour in favour of looking after Derek but after her brother resolutely refused to hold her back she had no other option but to leave the hospital when visiting hours were over and go back on tour the next day- as was planned.

Sitting in the car she let her head fall to her hand, her elbow resting on the window. She let out a deep breath and closed her eyes.

'You all right?' Lucas asked hesitantly.

'Yeah, it's just been an emotional few days I guess.'

Lucas nodded. 'You looking forward to the tour starting up again?'

'Kinda.' Peyton answered. 'I mean, it's brilliant… but I know I'm going to be waiting for another phone call saying Derek's hurt again.'

'Hey.' Lucas said reaching over blindly as he drove and grasping his hand, 'We've been with him for the majority of the day and he's doing really well. The doctor said that they'd never seen such a remarkable recovery before and plus- he's Derek. He knows how to look after himself.'

'I know- I just can't help but worry.'

'I know you do.'

As they pulled up outside Peyton's apartment Lucas automatically got out of the car with her and followed her to the door as she opened it and proceeded inside.

'I should get going.' Lucas said but didn't really make any move back towards the door.

'Have some coffee first, you've hardly slept. I'd feel better if you felt more awake driving.'

He nodded and she flicked the coffee on before turning to him. They made small talk until the coffee was ready and then Peyton led him to the couch on which they sat down, slightly facing each other.

He tried desperately hard not to think about the earlier activities that had accumulated on this couch.

Peyton sighed and Lucas tensed a little knowing that she was going to say something, 'I know we've been carefully avoiding this subject Luke but I- I have to apologise.'

'What for?' He asked frowning.

'For my actions…' She paused slightly and looked away from him, 'Last night.'

'Oh.'

'I was- I shouldn't have done it.'

He closed his eyes and felt himself consumed with guilt. He knew this was how she'd react, he knew she hadn't wanted him but was looking for comfort. He cursed himself for being so damn infatuated with her that he couldn't even make the right decision.

She sighed and elaborated a little, 'I took advantage of you.'

'What?' He asked opening his eyes with a slight chuckle.

'You're a nice guy Luke, you're someone who would help out anyone in need and I knew that.'

'That's ridiculous.' He snorted. 'I knew perfectly well what I was doing. I was not just mindlessly allowing myself to be used. If anything I took advantage of you. You were tired and incredibly vulnerable… you wanted comfort and I went with it.'

'No, I wanted an escape. I wanted you to make me forget, I wanted to get lost in you and I succeeded. Surely that makes me the user and you the use-ee.'

He couldn't help but laugh, 'Why are we arguing about who took advantage of who?'

She closed her eyes with a smile, 'I don't know. Bottom line is, I'm sorry.'

He touched a finger to her chin and tilted her gaze to meet his, 'You have no reason to be.'

'I don't deserve someone like you, Luke.'

'And that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.'

'It's true. You're good and kind and I'm- fucked up.'

'Don't talk like that.' Lucas chided grabbing her wrist.

'I'm sorry that I called you after months of no contact and forced myself on you when I needed you. I'm sorry I've effectively ruined anything you may have had going before me- and I'm sorry that you've wasted so much time on me- when there's someone out there who will appreciate what they've got when they're with you…'

'Will you please stop talking?' Lucas asked half angrily.

Peyton looked at him and he went on, 'I'm not some mindless robot you know. I can make decisions for myself. I chose to be with you, I chose not to move on when we fell apart, I chose to help you with Derek, I chose to sleep with you and I did all of those things for no other reason than that I'm in love with you.'

She was struck completely speechless and Lucas took the opportunity to get a word in edgeways, 'I love you.'

Peyton locked eyes with him and he could see the tears slowly burning her vision.

'You don't have to say anything.' He said quickly. 'But just please stop blaming yourself. It takes two to mess something up okay.'

She nodded and he squeezed her hand. Her gaze met his and she was torn, where did this leave them? She opened her mouth to say something but stopped abruptly when the front door opened and Brooke Davis-Baker swept into the room, suitcase in one hand and her husband in the other.

'P Sawyer we're home!'

Peyton gave Lucas a tear filled look before clearing her throat. Brooke and Julian turned to them both and Brooke's grin was simply wiped off her face.

'What happened?'

'Did you have a good honeymoon?' Peyton asked.

'What the hell happened?' Brooke asked, this time louder.

'I better be going.' Lucas said and rose from the couch, Peyton followed him to the door and he turned to her as he stepped outside.

She leaned forward quickly and encased him in a tight hug, 'Thank you- for everything.' She whispered and then she pulled away giving him a look that he didn't quite know how to decipher. He nodded and walked away.

She shut the door behind her, closed her eyes briefly and then turned to meet Brooke's worried and slightly agitated expression.

'I swear to god, if you do not tell me what's going on I will-'

'Derek got shot.' She interrupted and although Peyton knew he was fine the words still struck her surprisingly deep, so much so that tears began to spill over her lids. She assumed it was tiredness and emotional exhaustion played an important role too.

'Oh honey.' Brooke said stepping forward and encasing her in a hug. 'Is he okay?'

Peyton nodded, 'He's in hospital. But he's awake and doing well.'

'Good.' Brooke nodded. 'Lets sit you down and we'll talk all about it. You look exhausted. Julian make the girl some tea.'

'Yes dear.'

Peyton couldn't help but let out a watery chuckle, 'So married life's treating ya well?'

'Yep.' Brooke grinned adding a Brooke Davis wink in for good measure.

As Brooke went to help Julian with the tea Peyton couldn't help but think about Lucas and all he had done for her, as well as his admission. Had he been serious, was he still in love with her? Or had he been simply too tired to know what he'd been saying. She wasn't entirely sure but the one thing she was certain about was that whatever they had was definitely not over, not by a long shot.


All I seem to be saying every chapter is 'sorry for the wait' so here it is again, although this time it was months of waiting. I lost some inspiration, it's harder to find when I'm not watching LP every week, but I've found it again and have been writing a fair bit. I hope this isn't too bad, any hate/criticisms welcome, i kinda deserve it aha.

Anyway I won't ramble, hope you like. And I hope your still with this till the end because the end is near. Well, sort of. :P