NARUTO'S POV:

A week has passed and things are tense. I didn't expect everything to get better right away, but it's hard to see someone you care about in such a rough state.

What happened was really scary. I feel like I should have seen it coming, but no matter how obvious the signs were I never thought Kiba would actually try and go through with it. Now I feel like I'm asking him if he's okay ALL the damn time. I ask him every time I see him. I can't help it. I get worried.

I usually get some sort of half grunted response about how no, he's not okay, he'll never be okay, and we just have to figure out how to accept that. I literally CAN'T accept that though.

Despite the fact that he's obviously annoyed that I keep checking up on him, I do think things are maybe getting a little better. When I ask how he's feeling he's honest, even if the answer isn't something I want to hear.

I don't want him lying because he's uncomfortable or because he thinks I'll get uncomfortable. We can't keep tiptoeing around the important shit. Things can't go back to the way they were because that's how it all got fucked up.

I'm always worried. When he hides away in his room for too long I go in and make sure he's still breathing.

I skipped a few days of school to be with him. We talked. Sasuke stayed over, too, but he's home by now. I'm glad he stuck around for a while, though. I was shaken up.

I can't really imagine what Kiba went through, what he is still going through… I don't really understand how a person could feel this bad. I just can't.

Sasuke said they talked. I was glad to hear that because I know that Sasuke might be able to relate to Kiba more than I can. I've never experienced that sort of violence. I hardly ever know what to say. That's why Kiba gets mad sometimes – because I say the wrong things. I'm trying really hard, though. I rented some books from the library. I've been doing some research online. I really don't want to keep fucking up. I don't want to keep giving him reasons to be annoyed with me.

I feel like I'm learning, although I'm probably not the best judge of that on my own. At the very least Kiba and I have been fighting less lately, but I don't know if that's him or me or a mixture of things.

His uncle, I guess his name is Gaku, has been texting him a lot. He was the one to pick Kiba up from the hospital and I have to say that I'm a little hurt that Kiba didn't call me first. I should have been there for him. I wanted to he there for him.

If I push those feelings aside though, it's a relief to know that I'm not the only one keeping tabs on him. Gaku even came by one day and took Kiba out to lunch. He seems like a pretty decent guy.

Now that I have to be attending my classes again, Sasuke has mostly been hanging out during the day. It's helpful because it means I can focus on the course material without worrying that I'm going to come home to something awful.

Kiba says he'll go back to classes at the end of this week. Gaku helped him write up an email to all of his professors and he's getting some accommodations. It's good, because it's something I don't think he would have ever done in the past.

This will make things easier on him and for that I'm fucking glad. Sasuke and I have been trying to include Kiba when we go out and stuff, too, but he never really seems that into it. We've been spending a lot of time at home. I feel like I can't leave Kiba alone and I know that's shitty, but I seriously don't want him to hurt himself. I believe him when he says he won't kill himself, but I'm worried he might hurt himself in other ways to compensate. He might, right? I don't want to go around assuming things, but it's always a possibility. I'm trying to be more realistic and less flaky and stupid when it comes to the reality of the situation.

Sasuke keeps telling me to relax. I know I probably seem really high-strung lately, but it's stressful.

It's Tuesday. I got a new prescription for Ritalin since I literally cannot concentrate on anything. It helps me get my homework done, at least.

For when that doesn't do the trick, Kidomaru's number has been added to my list of favorites. I feel a little guilty going to him ever since Sasuke caught me that night we got into the big fight with Kiba, but I feel like I'm so stressed right now that he just has to understand. I mean, shit has been REALLY tense. It's hard for me to sit through class let alone get through the day without feeling like I'm going to wig out.

I'm trying to be discreet though. I know it would bother Sasuke if he knew, but it's not a big deal and because it's not, I frankly don't feel like it's any of his business. We have much bigger shit to be focused on right now.

After class, I head straight home and check in on Kiba. I knock on his door before opening it up. He's lying in bed not doing much of anything. His phone is sitting on the pillow next to his head, but he doesn't seem to be using it.

"Hey," I say.

"Hey," he echoes. "I'm fine, as you can see."

I nod my head. "Feel like eating? I can make something."

"No… I'm fine," he says again.

"You should eat something," I attempt. "I'll make pasta or something. You should at least have a little. I'll bring you some, okay?"

"Fine," he repeats the word for the third damn time. I try not to get short, though.

I head into the kitchen and cook, making a simple spaghetti dish.

When it's done, I call to him and he appears in the doorway of his room. He drags his feet a little getting to the table, and when I set the food down in front of him he mostly pushes it around his plate.

"How are you feeling?" I ask as I watch him twirl and untwirl his pasta.

"Crappy," he replies without hesitation. It's obviously the truth, so I'm thankful for that at least.

His phone chimes in the other room and he stands up to retrieve it, returning a moment later with it in his hands.

"Gaku?" I question.

"Yep," he taps away, "pretty much every two hours."

That's good. I wouldn't mind if he wanted to do it even more often.

"So," Kiba says, sitting back down, "we should probably tell the landlord about my door, right?"

"I'll get around to it," I tell him. Truthfully, I'd rather leave it broken. Kiba would pitch a fit if he knew that though.

I don't want him to be able to lock himself away. If he does that, I'll have no way of knowing of he is alive or not. It's just easier like this for now.

If I have to be pushy to ensure he stays breathing, then I will be.

Kiba scowls but he doesn't protest. "Just be sure not to forget."

"I won't," I promise.

Kiba continues to push food around on his plate.

"Eat it, don't play with it," I tell him.

"I'm not hungry," he says.

"Come on," I try to reason. "What have you eaten today?"

"Not much," he admits. "I think a slice of bread... I'm just not hungry. I'm too depressed to eat."

I click my tongue at that. "Tsk... man, just take a few bites," I try again.

So, he does.

"How are you feeling about going back to your classes?" I press after I've watched to make sure he's done more than just cut up the spaghetti.

"Overwhelmed," he mutters, "I've been doing my homework but I know I'm going to be so far behind. Besides, I've been out for a whole week. People will have noticed that I was missing. They're all going to stare at me when I come back like they did when I got Akamaru."

"They'll just assume you were sick," I insist.

Kiba looks unconvinced.

"You are sick," I continue.

At that, Kiba scoffs and goes back to toying with the food. It's hard to watch. It makes my heart hurt.

"How's having Sasuke over during the day been?" I ask, changing the subject.

He shrugs. "Fine. We're getting along fine."

"But...?" I urge, sensing that there is more.

"I hate that everyone is keeping tabs on me," he mutters. "It makes me feel like a fucking child. It's uncomfortable."

"You tried to kill yourself," I state matter of factly. "We're all worried. We care."

He mumbles, "I'm aware." He lets out a long sigh and glances up at me. "I'm not going to try and kill myself again. I failed once and it was fucking horrible. I won't bother trying again."

I stare at him. It isn't very reassuring to hear him talk like that. He is choosing life for all the wrong reasons.

"Do you believe me?" he asks.

"Honestly, Kiba, I don't know," I admit.

He frowns and stares down at the plate in front of him. He'd probably like nothing more than for us to all just forget the entire thing happened.

In reality, I have literally no reason to believe him. It's been one week. ONE week. He still seems unstable, which is unsurprising because nothing has changed. The only thing that's different is how closely people are watching now. We all check in. We make it our job to be nosey. It's a team effort.

"It won't be forever," I offer up as reassurance. When will we stop though? Now that's an answer I don't have.

"It already feels like forever," he grumbles.

"But it won't be," I reiterate.

I finish my dinner first and he manages a few more bites. I clear our plates, washing them and then putting the leftovers in the fridge. Kiba stays seated at the table.

"Feel like talking or something?" I ask.

"No," he says, "but I will if you want me to."

I refrain from rolling my eyes. "How do you feel?"

"I told you I feel crappy," he states.

"But why?" I pry. "Let's talk it out."

"Get me a beer," he says.

"All right," I agree. I head to the fridge and grab two — one for him and one for me — and then we sit in the living room.

This is better than him hiding away all evening like he has been. Plus, it's only one beer. One beer isn't going to get him drunk. It's not going to do much of anything.

"Look, I care about you a lot," I say, "and I want you to be safe."

"I know," he responds, sounding dull as a rusty knife. "I just hate myself way too much to care. It's like… I can't even look at myself in a mirror. I literally feel sick to my stomach. I hate when people look at me. So, I just stay in my room all day and sit in the dark."

I nod my head slowly, processing everything he's saying to me. "Do you think you'll be able to handle going back to class?"

"No," he says with a snort. "Not at all. I feel like I'm seriously going to freak out. I mean, I look like roadkill. I look like I've been hit by a fucking car or something. People are going to stare. Some might even ask questions. I'm going to get defensive and I'm going to act like a dick… or maybe I won't. Maybe I'll just do nothing. Say nothing. I guess it depends what my mood is."

"Just because people ask doesn't mean you have to answer them," I say. "Tell them you literally DID get hit by a car. You don't have to either get mad or tell them the truth—you have other options. If you want you can make something up and nobody's going to hassle you over it."

"My professors are going to ask if I want to talk again," he grumbles.

"So talk to them," I continue, "or don't. Say it's a personal issue and they'll leave you alone. You sent that email to the school student services office to disperse to all of them, right? So don't they kind of already know what's going on anyway?"

KIba grimaces. "Unfortunately."

I nod my head. "So, that's good, right?"

"It's fucking embarrassing," he says, shifting uncomfortably. "Like, I feel so pathetic I can't even stand it. I don't want staff at the school knowing I tried to fucking kill myself."

"I don't think anyone would see you as pathetic," I try to reason. "I mean, I don't."

"What do you think, then?" he probes, eying me.

"I think it's the most heartbreaking thing in the fucking world… but it's not pathetic," I tell him truthfully. It might not be the thing he really wants to hear, but if he's not lying to me then I shouldn't be lying to him, either. Fair is fair, right?

"I guess," he mumbles. "I just hate people seeing me as someone to pity. It makes me feel weak as hell."

"You're not weak at all, though," I say.

"People think suicide is a quitter's way out, but it takes a lot to actually try it," he murmurs.

This is NOT what I want to hear from him… and I don't agree with him at all, but I don't say that. Instead, I'm silent for a minute.

So, he continues with, "I thought I was so ready to do it…"

I let out a sharp sigh. "Look, Kiba, you're not going to kill yourself, okay? Just… stop talking about it like it's something great you want to do. It's not great."

"I know!" he responds sharply. "Fuck, Naruto. I'm not going to do it, so clam down. I'm just venting. That's what you want, right?"

"It just freaks me out when you talk like this…" I mumble.

"I'm not trying to freak you out, I'm just being honest," he retorts.

"I know," I say. Ugh. I want him to be honest, I really do, but these kind of statements are a lot to take in.

"We don't have to talk about it," Kiba grumbles, sounding frustrated, "It's just—you asked."

I give him a sad look. "Of course I want to talk about it," I argue, "I just don't want to hear you idealizing shit like that. It's not good and it's not going to help you feel better. There has to be a better way for you to express these things."

He stares bitterly down at his hands. It's stuff like this that makes me worried that he doesn't even want to feel better. He just wants us to hurry and leave him alone so he can try it all over again.

"Fine, you're totally right," he says somewhat dismissively.

I let out a sigh, but I don't bother trying to argue anymore. I don't really think there's anything I can say that will change how he heals. That has to happen on his own, right?

At least he has to go to therapy now.

Kiba finishes his beer and then says, "I'm going to my room."

"You don't want to hang out with me?" I ask.

"Not really," he admits. "Sorry."

"S'fine…" I relent. "Give a shout if you need anything."

He gives a solid nod and then retreats to his room… where he will probably stay for the rest of the damn night.

.

.

On Wednesday, I'm sitting in my boring-ass anthropology class trying to struggle my way through a midterm study guide the professor just handed out and is going over. When I hit the third question, I realize that my understanding of the material is seriously lacking. Ugh, I miss having Kiba in my classes with me. It was always so easy to ask him for help.

I try to take notes on what the professor is saying, but I just can't seem to pay attention. I feel antsy as fuck. These are things I need to know but my brain can't even persuade my body to pick up the pencil and jot down basic bullet points.

Bleh. I feel like I'm going to fail this class. Would it be a big deal if I did?

Hinata is sitting next to me. She gives me a weird look and then mouths, "Are you okay?"

I just nod my head, but I feel like I'm going to fucking fall asleep.

What feels like an hour later but is actually mere minutes, I leave the room and head into the nearest bathroom. I reach for my prescription and take one, but it doesn't really seem to do the trick. So, I reach for something heavier. I know this looks so bad, but I'm seriously going to die of boredom if I don't do something. I don't take a lot, just enough to do the trick. I hide in the stall farthest from the door and when I emerge, I check myself in the mirror to make sure nothing looks amiss. I tilt my head up, rubbing any white powder off my nose.

I don't really know how much time I've wasted in the bathroom, but when I'm back in class the clock says there is twenty minutes left. I guess I wasted about forty minutes.

Jeez, that took longer than I expected. I guess I'm glad I don't have to sit through half of this dead dull lecture though.

Hinata looks surprised to see me return. She probably thought I was just ditching class completely. I give her a friendly head bob as I sit back down to let her know everything is alright.

I take notes pretty effectively for the rest of class. I knew a little pick-me-up would do the trick. When the professor finally starts to wrap things up, I approach Hinata for the review questions I missed when I was in the bathroom.

"Hey," I greet her before she has the chance to gather up her things, "questions three through eight kind of stumped me. Can you help me out?"

She gives me a funny look. "Well, it would have helped if you were actually here."

I give her a wry smile. "Yeah, you're right… So, can yah help me?"

"Well, I have some time between my next course, so sure," she agrees.

We decide to head to the library for a bit. We sit down and pull out our papers. She begins to explain things, and it somewhat makes sense, but I'm still not grasping it. She seems to sense that, so she dumbs things down a little more and things start to piece together. I thank her, taking notes as she continues explaining. They're pretty sloppy, but still legible.

As we near the end of the study guide, I decide to make some small talk. I don't want Hinata to think I'm just using her for her notes.

"How have you been?" I ask, "Are you having a good semester?"

"It's going well," she replies, "How are you? You haven't been out much lately it seems."

"I've been sick," I decide to tell her, "that's why I was gone all last week."

"I meant at parties and such, but I'm glad that you're feeling better," she smiles sweetly.

"Oh," I chuckle, "I guess I've just been busy."

It's true. I haven't been to a party in what feels like forever. Ever since that mess with her and Shion.

That was so fuckin' dumb. I still feel bad about it. I want to apologize to Shion, but I haven't really found time for it yet… and if I am honest with myself, I can admit that I'm dreading it.

"Busy?" she asks.

"Personal stuff, I guess," I admit. "Um… Well, I'm in a relationship now."

"Oh!" she exclaims softly. "With who?"

"Sasuke," I tell her with a little laugh. "We're not really keeping it a secret, we just haven't made a big announcement or anything."

"Oh!" she exclaims again, sounding giddy. "I'm so happy for you both!"

I smile at that. "Thanks. It's going pretty well."

"I'm glad to hear that," she says. "I didn't really think you two were friends. How did you meet?"

"I bugged him a lot and he fell for me," I explain with a little snicker. That's basically the jist of it.

She lets out a little laugh at that. "Well, I'm glad. You two seem like you'd be good together."

"I think we are," I agree. "Um, look… Do you happen to have Shion's number?"

She tilts her head to the side. "I do. We exchanged numbers after… that night at your house."

I wrinkle my nose. "That's what I want to talk to her about."

She nods understandingly and then gets out her phone, rehearsing the numbers as I save them into mine. I need to call her later. I need to get it done. I thank her and then she decides to ask about Kiba since we're on the topic of that night again.

"He's doing… okay," I say. That probably wasn't convincing at all, but I don't exactly have the authority to tell her what's really going on.

"Is he mad about you and Sasuke dating?" she presses.

"No, I don't think he cares about that," I tell her. At least it's a topic I can speak honestly about because it's literally about me. "It bugged him at first but only because he and Sasuke weren't getting along. Not because he was jealous or anything."

"Oh," Hinata seems taken aback, "I'll admit I'm a little surprised to hear that. He seemed really resentful that night with you and Shion."

"I think he was mostly just drunk and overwhelmed," I explain simply, not really wanting to get into my whole theory behind all of that, "I should probably try to get him to apologize to Shion too, huh?"

"Probably," Hinata nods.

"I don't know if he will," I admit. "I don't really think he cares… and I know that sounds bad, but he's probably embarrassed about it, too, and just doesn't want to confront it."

"I suppose that makes sense," she relents. "Does he… regret sleeping with you?"

Hinata is a lot nosier than she seems!

I let out a weary laugh and say, "I don't know… Honestly, he probably does. We weren't in it for the right reasons, y'know?"

She nods her head slowly. "But things are okay between you?"

"They are as okay as they can be," I say. "I'm pretty damn lucky. Shit has been crazy lately."

"Is that why he's been missing from school?" she asks. "I usually see him in the library studying, but I haven't seen him at all lately."

I'm positive that I visibly tense up at that question. I don't really know what to say. I wasn't really expecting people to be asking me that and Kiba and I haven't decided on a specific thing to answer in case of this sort of situation.

I guess I could tell her that he's sick. That was my reason for missing. He could have the same thing as I did, right? Although once Hinata sees him, I'm sure she'd know it was a lie. His face is still purple and green with healing bruises. Maybe I really should just go with the car story?

"He got…" I start to tell her, the words coming out awkwardly, "hit by a…car?"

"What – really?!" she asks, sounding incredibly shocked. Does this mean she bought it?

"Yeah, he's pretty beat up," I say. "He didn't break anything, but he looks rough as hell."

"Oh, no…" she whispers. "How did that happen?"

"I don't really know," I tell her, not wanting to come up with a bigger lie. "I wasn't there… I wish I was, though. Maybe I could have done something."

"Maybe," she admits, "but maybe not. Try not to beat yourself up over it. Sometimes these things happen regardless."

"True," I mumble.

But I DO wish I was there. I wish I was there when Hiro barged his way in. I wouldn't have let him beat Kiba up no matter what.

Hiro is strong, but if I came into it prepared I would have at least been able to get him out the door before he was able to do any real damage. I would let him break my nose all over again for Kiba to not have to have gone through that.

Realistically, maybe I should take out a restraining order against Hiro. Then he wouldn't be able to come near the apartment at least. He physically assaulted me, and I'm sure that would hold up in court if I was able to get Kiba to be a witness for me.

"He should be back next week," I say, finishing the conversation, "he just needed time to heal and look less beat up."

Hinata nods her head. After that, the conversation kind of dissolves into something a lot easier to talk about. Stuff about school. We do a bit of homework together and she tries to keep me motivated Around five, I offer her a ride home and head back myself. I check on Kiba. He's sitting in the living room, which makes me kind of glad. I hate when he hides in his room all day. He has what appears to be a mixed drink sitting on the coffee table in front of him, but I don't try to chastise him for it. Instead, I say, "Hey."

"Hey," he echoes.

I sit down next to him and say, "So… I told Hinata you got hit by a car. She wanted to know where you've been and I couldn't think of anything."

He scoffs and then lets out a weary laugh. "All right… then I guess that'll be my story."

At least he doesn't seem mad.

.

.

After class the following day, I take my phone out and call Shion.

She answers with a questioning, "Hello?"

"Hey," I greet. "It's Naruto."

"Oh… I didn't expect to hear from you ever again."

"Ah, yeah, look, I'm real sorry. I was wondering if you'd be willing to meet up? I want to apologize to you."

"You don't need to do that," she insists.

"Pleeease," I say. "I won't feel right about it otherwise. Are you still at school?"

"I'm in the cafeteria," she informs me.

I tell her I'll meet her there and then I hang up.

I make my way there, paying a little cash at the front door because I no longer have a meal plan. Once I'm inside, I see her sitting with a few other girls I recognize from around campus at a table near a window.

"Hey," I approach awkwardly, "how's it going?"

The girls at the table exchange sly smirks and then one by one, get up and leave. They must have been here when I called Shion a few minutes ago. Ugh. She probably told them all the entire story. How embarrassing.

"Long time no see," she jokes. She doesn't sound angry or bitter. She just sounds amused.

"Yeah…sorry about that," I mumble, "I've been meaning to get a hold of you."

"Have you been?" she asks, feigning surprise, "well it seems like you finally found my number."

"Yeah, yeah," I mutter. "Look, I want to apologize. I should've spoken with you sooner, but I got caught up with a lot of crap."

"Yeah, sounds like your roommate is a bit of a handful," she recalls. "Whatever, though. It was just a fling. It's not like you owed me anything."

"Still, the night didn't end on a positive note," I say. "I'm sorry you had to leave like that."

"Okay, you're forgiven," she replies easily. "Though, I don't really blame you. I kind of assumed you were dealing with your roommate and that was that. It's been so long I didn't really expect you'd bother trying to talk to me again."

"I was dealing with a bunch of shit," I explain. "This was bugging me, though."

She perches an elbow onto the table and rests her hand in her chin. "Oh, yeah?"

"Well, yeah, I felt shitty over it," I tell her.

This is just another thing on my list of stressors and I want to finally take it off.

"Alright, well…don't worry about it." She insists, "Besides, it makes for a funny story. All my friends say it's the best hook-up story they've ever heard."

"Wait, you've been telling people?" I ask in disbelief.

"Um, yeah," she replies, not sounding even a little sorry, "I mean, you have to admit that night was ridiculous and it was totally your fault. Did you really expect me to keep it to myself?"

"Uh, sort of," I sigh. I guess I sort of deserve it. I should have talked to her sooner. Kiba is going to have a fucking cow. I can't believe we haven't gotten shit about this from our friends yet. Hopefully they just don't know and won't find out.

Shit, this really sucks. I hope it doesn't spread fast… but it probably will. Everyone kind of knows everyone, so it seems inevitable.

"Your friend gonna freak out or something?" she asks.

"Most definitely," I murmur.

I mean, it pretty much is Kiba's fault for blurting it all out like that… but on the other hand, he WAS drunk as hell. Everyone does dumb shit and says dumb shit when they're drunk – the kind of things they wouldn't do or say on a regular basis.

"So, like, are YOU gay?" she asks. "Was I a test or something to determine that?"

Maybe she was… but I don't want to admit that to her. There's no point in it.

"I'm not gay," I tell her, "but I am dating a guy right now."

"Your roommate?" she pries.

"No," I shake my head, "someone else."

"So you're bi," she concludes, "was I the last girl you slept with?"

These are getting kind of invasive, but I guess I don't care. Everyone's going to find this shit out about me eventually, if they don't already know that is.

"Yeah, but only because I got into this relationship," I explain, "I'm still interested in women."

"So you slept with your roommate, then me, then some other dude." Shion mumbles to herself, "I totally was a test, wasn't I?"

I don't really know what to say to that. Yes? It's not a bad thing though.

"Well, I still like girls after getting with you if that makes you feel any better." I chuckle, trying to keep the mood light.

She rolls her eyes.

It doesn't really work. I guess it's not really her fault, though. I think anyone would be annoyed.

"Loads better," she says with sarcasm.

"Look, I'm sorry it had to be like this," I apologize. "I didn't intend for any of this to happen, to be honest."

She rolls her eyes. "Whatever. I guess I don't really care. I did think you were nice, though."

"And now you don't?" I probe.

"I'm not sure," she admits, squinting at me like she's trying to analyze me. "Well, you seem sincere enough."

Well, that's good, I guess?

"So, who is this guy you're dating now?" she asks. "Anyone I know?"

"Oh, uh… Sasuke Uchiha," I tell her.

That obviously surprises her. She gets this shocked look on her face like she almost didn't even understand what I said.

"Sasuke?" she chuckles after a moment, "Wow. I've slept with him too. Is HE gay?"

I can't help but laugh at that. Of course after this whole mess Shion and I would be eskimo siblings.

"He is," I tell her. I don't think he would mind. We agreed we weren't trying to keep it secret.

"I had no idea," she admits, "we were both so wasted but he seemed into it. He was crazy in bed."

I raise an eyebrow. This is weird to hear. I knew Sasuke hooked up with a lot of girls, but somehow I had never really met any of them.

"Guess he must have been compensating," she tacks on slyly.

I can't help but frown because the entire thing depresses me to no end. "Yeah, I dunno…" I murmur. I don't really want to confirm or deny her suspicions.

Things definitely weren't crazy when he and I slept together. It was fucking horrible and I still feel so awful about it. I can't deny that it makes me kind of jealous to think that he had such a wild time with Shion, but at the same time it's stupid of me. He probably didn't even fucking enjoy it. I shouldn't get jealous over things like this because he WAS compensating for something.

"Sorry, is this weird for you?" she asks with a wry, little smile.

"Kind of," I admit, "but whatever."

She nods and at that, the conversation kind of dies. I'm not sure if she's trying to be considerate by dropping the topic of Sasuke or is actually just getting tired of talking to me.

"Anyway, thanks for apologizing," she tells me after a moment of silence, "I do appreciate it. You don't seem like a bad guy."

"Thanks," I smile. That entire interaction was awkward as hell, but at least it's off my chest now. "Kiba's not a bad guy either, we were just having a weird moment."

"I'll try to keep that in mind," she replies sarcastically.

I tell her goodbye and from there decide to head home. I have a lot of homework to do and I don't really need to be wasting more time on campus than I already have.

.

.

On Friday, Kiba suggests that we go to a party. It surprises me considering he hasn't been very social lately. He barely leaves his room, let alone the apartment. Nonetheless, I agree. It might be fun.

I text Sasuke asking if he wants to tag along, but he refuses and then tells me to have fun and be safe. I didn't actually expect him to come, but it would've been cool if he did. I don't really think he'll ever go to a party ever again, though. I don't blame him for it.

Kiba takes a shower around eight, but he doesn't bother dressing up. He slips his sweatpants back on and then pulls on a sweater. I almost make a joke about it, but I stop myself.

Around nine, we head out. Since I plan on drinking tonight, we take the bus down to the campus. We'll take a taxi back at the end of the night if we need to.

When we arrive, the party is still pretty dead. The frat houses don't usually pick up until 10 or 11. It's good though, because they can start to get pretty claustrophobic.

We make our way inside and over to the table where the drinks are set up. I pour myself one and then I get one ready for Kiba too.

"Don't set it down," I comment offhandedly as I pass it over to him.

"I won't," he ensures.

It's crazy. This isn't the sort of thing we ever would have worried about before. It's not the sort of thing we thought he HAD to worry about. I remember seeing Gaara the first night we hooked up pick up an open drink that wasn't even his.

We were dead wrong though. Everyone needs to be careful.

It's so scary to think about these things. It could happen to anyone. It feels like there's nothing you can do. The idea of 'rape prevention' is such a damn joke. Cover up? Don't get drunk? No. The only thing that'll keep people safe is if all rapists fucking die.

Kiba takes a few long sips of his drink. I eye him and say, "Don't get too trashed tonight."

"Whatever, Dad," he mutters.

I brush the comment off and we wander around a bit until we find some familiar faces – Shikamaru and Chouji. We haven't seen them in a while, so it will be nice to catch up a bit before everyone gets smashed.

"Hey!" I greet everyone, holding a hand up.

"Uh, how's it going?" Shikamaru asks us. "Been a while… Kiba what the fuck happened to your face?"

Kiba and I exchange glances, but then he looks back to Shikamaru and lets out a laugh.

"Oh my god, it's crazy!" he exclaims, "I got hit by a car—can you fucking believe it?"

I watch him and it's unsettling. Chouji and Shikamaru's mouths drop open so they must be buying it, but to me it comes off as so heartbreakingly fake. The tone of his voice…the expression on his face…It's obvious how hard it is for him to put up this front.

"Are you alright?" Chouji asks, looking concerned.

Kiba continues forcing out a cackle. "I'm fine," he insists, "it's just crazy. I can't believe I'm not DEAD."

"Yeah, holy shit…" Chouji says in awe.

"Well, you look half dead," Shikamaru snorts.

Kiba scoffs and nudges him. "Shut up, man. I look damn good all things considering. It could've been way worse."

At least he's right about that part… It could have been way worse. God, that thought still freaks me out. That's why he needs to stay away from Hiro—because that possibility is still there as long as Hiro is allowed to hang around. It can always get worse. The first time I saw Hiro with his arm around Kiba it was bad enough… I never thought he'd go ape-shit like this.

"Yeah, I guess so," Shikamaru relents. "How the hell did it even happen?"

Kiba wrinkles his nose. "I guess something got fucky with the crosswalk light signals."

"Fuck's sake," Shikamaru mutters. "Any legal action being taken?"

"No," Kiba says with a shrug. "I mean, shit happens… and I'm okay."

"Still," he pushes, "How long ago did you get hit?"

"Like two weeks," Kiba answers.

Ugh. Coming home to that was the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

"Right, see, that's not very long." Shikamaru continues, nodding, "There could be other side effects further down the road. I hope you at least went to a doctor."

"I went to the hospital," Kiba responds tersely and I can tell already this is about to go sour.

Shikamaru seems to sense this too, because he gives Kiba a funny look and then completely drops the subject. "Glad to hear that," is all he adds.

He might be a dick sometimes, but Shikamaru is probably the most observant person I know.

Thank God for that.

"What else have you guys been doing?" Chouji adds. "You moved in together, huh?"

"Yep," I pipe in. "Kiba's my roommate now. It's great. You guys should come over and chill sometime now that we're all settled in."

"Yeah, that would be great," Chouji agrees while Shikamaru nods in agreement.

We continue to talk about school, what courses we're taking, how our summers went, part time jobs and other simple shit like that. It's easy. Kiba dips out after he's finished his first drink and goes to get a refill. I'm still working on mine. I'm going to take things slow tonight and work on getting a good buzz.

As soon as Kiba is out of sight, Shikamaru gives me a playful look.

"What?" I ask, sipping on my mix drink.

"I heard something through the grapevine," he says without hesitation, and Chouji follows it with a chuckle.

"Okay…" I proceed cautiously, although I can guess what it's about, "What…?"

"Well," he continues, "Ino had a class with Shion last semester. I guess they became pretty good friends. They were hanging out this summer and Shion told her that you two hooked up."

I nod at that. "We did," I tell him, "I had a good time."

Chouji looks fucking stoked. Ugh. These two have probably been waitings months to get the chance to ask me about this.

"I actually talked to her just the other day," I decide to add.

Shikamaru smiles wryly. "Yeah? I bet you had a few things to mull over with her since your last visit, huh?"

I scowl and let out a sharp breath. "Spit it out, Shikamaru!"

It's so fucking obvious what he heard and even more obvious what he wants to ask. I want him to get it over with before Kiba shows up because he will probably literally die of shame if anyone confronts him on it.

Chouji looks so fucking giddy, like he's thrilled to be getting the story straight from the source. I refrain from rolling my eyes.

"All right," Shikamaru says in a more serious tone. "I heard you fucked Kiba."

Yeah, there it is.

"Yeah," I tell him. "I did."

Shikamaru chuckles and nods his head. "I had my suspicions," he tells me, "ever since you two were getting all touchy on the couch that one time over spring break. You were both obviously messed up so I thought about splitting you up, but then you both just seemed so into it that I decided to let it be. Has it been going on since then?"

Now that's something I'd like to never have to think about again. That was the start of this entire mess.

Before I can explain anything further, Kiba reappears at my side holding two newly refilled drinks. "I got you one," he hands it off to me and sits down. I have a feeling we're going to be getting way drunker tonight than I planned for.

"Thanks, man…" I mumble, trying to hide the fact that I'm starting to feel a little panicked. I hurry and down the rest of my first drink before grabbing the second one from Kiba, double-cupping it with the empty one.

"What are we talking about?" Kiba asks, trying to sound chipper.

"You and Naruto sleeping together," Shikamaru states, visibly humoured.

I nearly have a stroke. I literally feel like I'm going to explode. My heart lodges in my throat as I wait for Kiba to react. For a second, he doesn't. Then he lets out an incredibly forced laugh. "Ah… haha… ahaha… ha… what?"

"Yeah," Shikamaru continues. "That night you guys were super fucked up, remember? I was going to pull you apart, but you didn't really seem like you wanted anyone to do that. You guys disappeared right after."

"And you just magically put all of this together?" Kiba asks. "You're not that fucking smart."

Shikamaru isn't bothered by Kiba's attitude. He shrugs and adds, "No. Some girl Naruto fucked told Ino and Ino told us."

Kiba is beet red. I wish Shikamaru would shut the fuck up, holy shit, he's going to drive this night so far into the toilet.

"Okay, so she lied," he insists, although his voice is wavering, "why believe what some random-ass girl said?"

"Naruto literally just confirmed it for us," Shikamaru says with a laugh, leaning back in his seat, "Kiba, it's okay man, it's not like Chouji or I care. I probably would have pieced it together on my own eventually anyway."

Kiba throws me a glance. He looks mad as hell.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he hisses.

"It's not my fault," I retort, "I'm not the one who blurted it out to Shion!"

"I was wasted!" he justifies.

"So?" I retort. "It's not my fucking fault she went and told people."

"Well, you didn't have to admit it!" he retorts.

I gesture to Chouji and Shikamaru. "They're our friends. Like Shikamaru just said, they would've figured it out eventually."

Kiba grits his teeth together. He looks livid. "Yeah, well thanks ever so fucking much for speeding up the process."

Shikamaru watches us with interest. It feels like we're in a cage and he's observing us or something. I know he's analyzing the situation, trying to figure things out. "Look," he interjects. "It's not a big deal, Kiba. Relax."

I can't fucking believe this! Just when I think that part of our friendship is finally in the past, something like this has to happen.

"Fuck off!" Kiba snaps back at him and Shikamaru gives him a look of what seems to be genuine surprise, followed by one of annoyance. He's probably never seen Kiba get worked up like this before. They've known each another a long time, and it's not incredibly unlike Kiba to blow his fuse, but up until recently it's always been over small stuff.

"I'm sorry we brought it up," Shikamaru backpedals, "we were just teasing you guys and wanted to give you a hard time. Honestly, we really just wanted to tell you that if you were together that you didn't have to hide it. Obviously we support you."

Kiba seems unswayed. "Cool, thanks!" He exclaims, "Glad to know what you think!"

He tries to stomp off, but I grab the back of his shirt. "Don't," I say. "You're angry, I get it… and that's why I need you to stick around. We're going to talk about this, okay?"

He shakes me off and spins around, glaring at me. "Well, I don't fucking feel like it!"

"Damn, dude, calm down," Chouji says. "We don't care if you guys are gay."

"We're NOT!" Kiba practically shrieks. Fortunately, the music is so damn loud no one really notices how loud he's being. "We're NOT dating, okay? We're NOT together! I don't like him like that and he doesn't like me! It wasn't anything, okay? It was stupid! A stupid mistake!"

"The kind of mistake you repeat?" Shikamaru probes.

Kiba shoves him, but it isn't hard and he barely stumbles.

"Don't shove me, you little shit," Shikamaru warns, grabbing Kiba's wrist tightly.

"Let me go," Kiba seethes, shaking his hand and trying to get Shikamaru to release him. "I'm going to go home. Fuck you guys."

"Kiba, you can't leave," I tell him wearily. "No one is home right now and it's late and you're upset."

He gives me a look that makes me think he might actually attack me. It's one of fury, but also complete and utter betrayal—like how dare I bring that up in public. Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I can't exactly in good conscious let him go running off by himself when he's all worked up like this. I don't trust him and I have no idea what he might try to do.

Kiba obviously is registering all of these thoughts the same as me, but he's just looking angrier and angrier.

"Fine, fuck you," he snaps at me, yanking his arm forcefully out of Shikamaru's grasp.

He's probably afraid that if he doesn't listen I'll call the police. Honestly I probably would.

All I care about is his safety and if I have to be the bad guy to ensure it, then I will be.

Kiba downs the rest of his drink and then tosses the empty cup behind him. It smacks some kid in the head, but he doesn't seem to know where it came from so Kiba is in the clear.

"Dude…" I try to reason. "Stop acting like a jerk."

"I don't want to," Kiba retorts.

Chouji and Shikamaru look confused as hell, but they both have the good grace not to ask any questions. I doubt they've seen this side of Kiba before. Everyone knows he's a bit stubborn and bull-headed, but this is a whole other level.

"You're going to regret it," I try to reason. I'm not trying to be patronizing, but it's the fucking truth. He always feels guilty and beats himself up later when he acts like a douchebag. I don't want him to have yet another reason to get down on himself.

"Oh my god, I get it, you can shut up now!" He barks, standing up from his seat, "I'm getting another drink."

He storms away and I watch him as he goes, trying to make sure that he heads for the kitchen and not the front door. When I turn back to Shikamaru and Chouji, they look completely floored.

"What the actual fuck was that?" Shikamaru asks with a sense of urgency.

I roll my eyes. "He's touchy about the fact that we used to mess around. It's a delicate subject."

"No," Shikamaru says, shaking his head. "I don't mean THAT. I mean… THIS. What the hell just happened? I've never seen him act like that in my life."

"Uh-uh," I say, shaking my head. "I can't talk about that, so don't bother trying."

I absolutely can't share those things with Shikamaru and Chouji. Kiba would never forgive me. For fuck's sake, I'd never forgive myself, either.

He gives a long nod. "All right…"

"There are some things Kiba is super sensitive about," I murmur vaguely. "You guys really set him off."

"It's not like we meant to," Chouji cuts in.

"Well, yah did," I state simply.

"Sorry," he mumbles quietly.

Shikamaru gives me a critical look, like he's trying to figure out what's going on. Good fucking luck. Even someone as smart as him wouldn't be able to do that.

"It's fine," I sigh, "if you guys have questions, you can ask me. Just don't bring it up with Kiba."

They both nod slowly. Chouji seems like he feels guilty.

"I'm going to tell you right off the bat that we aren't together and we aren't hooking up anymore." I continue, "On top of that, Kiba was wasted out his mind the night the shit with Shion went down."

"Is that why he got so upset?" Shikamaru asks, "Because you guys aren't together?"

"No," I say without missing a beat, "I don't think he cares about that."

Shikamaru nods slowly. "So, it was just a fling?"

"Yeah," I say. "I know it was stupid. He knows that, too. Honestly, we weren't doing it for the right reasons… so we don't do it all anymore."

"When did it stop?

"Mid-summer," I tell him. "I mean… it's not like we did it that much anyway. It was just a sometimes thing."

"Why was he mad you slept with a girl, then?" Chouji pries.

I wrinkle my nose. "I think he just got annoyed I was sleeping with him while sleeping with someone else… which is fair, I guess. I mean, I get it. I get why he got mad. I wouldn't really get mad over something like that, but a lot of other people would and Kiba is one of those people. It's not 'cause he was jealous. He mostly just thought I was being rude, I guess. Like, maybe if I was getting something from him then I should have been satisfied with that much?"

Honestly, I hope that's the reason why. I hope that he just thought I was being inconsiderate and wasn't mad that he lost control of using me as some sort of fucked up coping mechanism or way of hurting himself. Still, it feels like I'm lying through my teeth. I feel like I already know the whole truth and I'm just not ready to admit it until I hear it from him myself.

"I guess that makes sense," Chouji seems convinced, thank god.

Shikamaru on the other hand still seems perplexed. "What?" I ask him when he keeps holding his silence.

"Nothing," he shrugs, "good luck I guess, because that was fucking over the top."

Damnit. He's probably mad Kiba tried to push him and then got all snappy. Jesus fucking christ.

"Thaaanks," I mutter.

"He better fucking apologize for shoving me," he adds.

I snort at that. "Yeah, don't count on it."

It's funny in a sad kind of way. They have no idea what Kiba can be like. This is their first taste of it and they don't like it. I don't know if they could handle being around him all the time. Shikamaru is smart as hell, but he hates anything that requires too much thought or effort. I guess I can't really make any assumptions, but they aren't the most understanding people in the world. They wouldn't be able to excuse some of the things I know I've excused. I know it would be especially hard because they don't really know why he acts like this sometimes and Kiba would never dare tell them.

Kiba returns with his third drink in hand.

"Hey," I say.

He grunts in response.

Shikamaru gives him an expectant look but Kiba doesn't respond. Frankly, he might not even notice. He's too busy self-loathing.

After a moment of being ignored, Shikamaru scoffs and turns to Chouji. "Let's go find Ino," he suggests.

It's probably for the best that he's removing himself from the situation. Shikamaru knows not to try and escalate things. Even if he's annoyed now, he'll get over it fast. Holding grudges is a lot of work and I don't think he'd be up to it.

Once they're gone, I stare at Kiba, who has his nose turned down in his drink.

"Dude, you have to tell Shikamaru you're sorry," I grumble.

"Why?" he asks, not bothering to acknowledge me, "He was being a dick and he knows it."

"He's always like that," I point out.

"Still," Kiba mutters. "I don't want to fucking deal with it anymore."

I guess he probably can't deal with it anymore. Everything is setting him off at an extreme. He used to be able to handle a little bit of teasing, but he probably won't be able to handle that anymore either.

It's not his fault. Things just got really fucked up.

"Still, it will be easier if you try to patch things up," I say surely.

"I don't really give a fuck, Naruto," he says, sounding sour.

Goodie.

He's gonna be fun tonight...

Kiba continues chugging his drink and I follow him into the kitchen when he decides to get a refill.

Now he's on drink number four. I hope it ends there but something tells me it won't. It's still early in the night and Kiba already seems wildly unstable.

He seems to catch me watching as he downs more alcohol, and when he does he lets out a low groan. "You gonna give me another lecture?" he snorts.

"No," I shake my head. It's not worth it.

"Good," he responds decidedly, "Because I wasn't gonna fuckin' listen."

Yup, there it is.

I roll my eyes. "Fine, Kiba, you win."

This is all so fucking typical it's almost depressing. He smiles wryly at my blatant distaste, but he doesn't say anything else. He's radiating self-satisfaction, though.

When I'm done my drink, I get a refill. We bum around in the kitchen for a while. He talks about stupid shit and I listen. Usually I'm the one talking about stupid shit. It's funny to see the tables turning. I think it's only because he is trying to compensate, though. He wants me to think he's all right. He wants me to think he can handle being at a party. Maybe he can, maybe he can't. I don't really know what's really going on in his head right now.

Eventually Kiba finishes his drink and gets another, and after that we wander down to the basement where a bunch of people are dancing. We hang out in the corner a minute and take in the scene. People seem like they're starting to get pretty trashed and crazy.

Kiba continues chattering at me over the loud music, but eventually he stops. At first I think he might be pissy over something, but then I realize that he's watching a group of girls who are having what looks like a fun time moving around to the music.

"That chick with the red dress is fucking hot," he says offhandedly.

The comment kind of catches me by surprise. I haven't heard Kiba talk about a girl in FOREVER.

I eye her. She is short and slim with small boobs. Brown hair, brown eyes, fair features. Good looking, sure, but I didn't think a girl like this would end up being the first girl in a million years to get Kiba's attention. I guess that might just be because I don't know his type. We've never really talked about it before.

"Yeah," I say with a nod, "she's cute."

"Yeah, she is," he responds. "I want to go talk to her."

For fuck's sake… If this isn't a recipe for disaster, then I don't know what is.

Before I can try to grab his arm and hold him back, he's halfway across the room. I hover somewhat awkwardly as I watch him introduce himself. I don't hear what is being said, but the girl then smiles and laughs. He probably fed her some cheesy line and it's probably going to work.

Kiba keeps chatting her up and she giggles along, obviously encouraging him to get even more bold. Fucking hell. I don't know what he's trying to do, but whatever it is seems to be working.

I approach slowly and as I do, the other two girls she was with smirk and exchange glances.

"Heyyy," I greet them awkwardly with a little wave, trying to make it clear that I'm just here for Kiba.

I reach out and put a hand on his shoulder, making direct eye contact with the girl he's talking to. "Kiba," I say firmly, "you good?"

"Hey man," he snaps, shrugging me off, "can't you see I'm trying to have a conversation?"

I snort at that. He slipped right back into the bro charade he always put up in high school and freshman year. I guess it's not surprising. People always bought it.

I don't buy it, though. Not anymore. I know what he's really like now and this sure as hell isn't it.

It's enough to piss me off because it's so fake. No one realizes that, though.

"All right," I relent, "Just find me before you leave so we can split on the taxi."

"Yeah, whatever," he replies before returning his attention back to the girl.

God, what a load of crap. I wish she would see through it, but she won't. I think Sasuke and I are the only ones who do... Because we know all his secrets. And he fucking hates that.

It's weird to see him acting like this again after being a permissive, submissive hot mess for so long.

I wander around the room, choosing to stick nearby. I chat with some acquaintances, keeping Kiba in my peripherals. When he starts making out with the girl I get even more shocked. He probably wants everyone to see it.

The douchey attitude is familiar enough, but I don't think I've ever seen him be so openly sexual. It's so foreign that it makes me uncomfortable. Knowing the information I do, I can guess why he's avoided it in the past—but why change that now? He might just be wasted, but he also might feel like he has something to prove after our conversation with Chouji and Shikamaru. If there's a rumor going around that we fucked, which there definitely is, Kiba's probably feeling pretty insecure.

Just when I start feeling like I should probably go interrupt them, Kiba grabs the girl by the hand and leads her out of the room.

Oh my god, are they ditching me? What the actual fuck?

I try to follow them but I have no damn idea where they went. Shit this sucks. I really hope they don't do something he'll end up regretting... but it looks like that's exactly what is going to happen. I can assume that by the way he's acting. He's not himself.

I glance around, but he's gone. I try to call him, but there's no answer. So, I shoot him a text.

Am I overreacting? I don't feel like I am...

I bump into Shikamaru and Chouji again. They're with Sai, Ino and some other familiar faces.

"Hey, seen Kiba?" I ask.

"Sucking face with some chick," Shikamaru informs me.

"Her hand was pretty much down his pants," Ino adds with a snort. "Didn't think he was one for PDA... but maybe he feels like he has something to prove." She puts on this sly little smile and we all know what she's referring to.

Great.

Fucking awesome.

I dawdle around anxiously for a few minutes trying to decide what to do. Should I stay here and just do my best to enjoy the rest of the night? Ino and Chouji attempt to make small talk with me, but I can't really pay attention because I keep checking my phone. Kiba hasn't texted back and it's starting to stress me out.

After about half an hour, I finally come to the conclusion that hanging around here by myself just isn't worth it. I need to go home. I need to check in.

I tell those guys goodbye and that I'll see them later, then promptly ditch. I end up calling a taxi, not because I'm that drunk but because I want to get home fast.

I can't even bring myself to chat up the driver. Usually I'm down to talk about whatever the hell comes to mind because it makes the ride a lot quicker… but all I can do is think about Kiba. I hope he isn't doing anything stupid. I don't want him to do anything he'll feel bad about later. Even before all of this blew up, he wasn't one for random hook-ups. He had a couple with random girls, but it was never really his style. It wasn't something he was comfortable with. So, it doesn't make sense that he's pulling stunts like this now. He's doing it for obvious reasons and those reasons are bad. This 'alpha male' bullshit is such a joke.

The drive seems to take a while and it's probably because I feel so anxious, but soon enough we're in front of my apartment. I pay the driver, thank him and then head in. I don't waste time racing up the stairs, digging my keys out of my pocket.

The door is still locked, which might be a bad thing. Did Kiba not come home? Did he go back to that girl's place? Did he ditch the girl and run off by himself?

I enter the apartment and the first thing I do is head for Kiba's room. The door's closed, but as I reach for the handle I stop myself. I stop and I listen.

It's faint, but I can definitely hear moaning.

Ugh, gross! He definitely brought her back here.

It take every ounce of self control I have not to barge in on them like Kiba did to me months back. He shouldn't the hooking up with this girl. He's making a huge fucking mistake.

I stand here for a few seconds, trying to figure out what to do. Kiba continues to grunt on the other side of the door. He sounds different than he did when I was with him. He sounds more reserved in a sense. He is putting on a show, trying to prove something – to himself and to this girl and to everyone who saw them making out tonight. I can't help but notice it, though I probably shouldn't be thinking about that at all.

I move away and head down the hall, trying to be as quiet as I can. I don't want them to know I'm here.

I hide away in my room, trying to search for headphones to drown out the sound of them fucking… but I can't find the damn things. So, I lie in bed and stare up at the ceiling.

Eventually in order to distract myself I decide to text Sasuke and see if he's awake. I shoot him a message and tell him that I made it home safe.

It takes him a while to reply, but when he finally does he asks me how it went.

"Alright…" I respond cryptically with an annoyed looking emoji tacked onto the end.

"Just alright?" Sasuke questions.

"Kiba's got some girl over," I tap back, "he started making out with her in the middle of the basement and then ditched the party without telling me. I'm really annoyed."

"What the fuck?" he replies, "Who?"

"Don't know," I tell him, "I've never seen her before."

"That's unfortunate."

I recall Ino's snarky comment. They all knew what was going on. I wish I could have defended him in front of them, but it would have sounded dumb as fuck. We all fucking knew exactly what he was doing. It's clear as day that he's trying to make sure we all know he's not gay. He likes girls.

"Hopefully he won't regret it," Sasuke continues.

"I hope not," I concur.

But he probably fuckin' will. Hopefully he just doesn't decide to act like a total douche after. Sasuke and I continue to talk. The conversation changes away from Kiba. He says he told his brother, Itachi, that we're together. That surprises me, but it makes me glad as hell that he was finally able to get the words out to at least one of his family members.

I should probably tell my family soon. I keep saying that, and it's not like I'm avoiding it, I just haven't found the time. It would probably be encouraging for Sasuke though. I want him to feel like I'm taking this seriously and that I want people to know about our relationship.

"Do you think we should tell our friends soon?" I decide to ask him.

"Well, Karin's known awhile," Sasuke recalls for me, "plus I just told Suigetsu and Jugo recently too. So yeah, I guess it's only fair if you can tell your friends too."

"Oh wow, really? You told those two?" I reply quickly. I'm surprised. I didn't realize Sasuke had been sharing the information with so many people. I'm pleased though. It's good.

"Yeah, is that alright?" he questions.

"Totally!" I respond, "I just didn't expect it."

I'm really glad he is telling people. I feel like this is good for him, especially considering that these people will support him. I can only hope his parents will do the same, but Sasuke firmly believes that they won't. It's sad... Parents should always support their kids.

What Sasuke says next shocks me even more.

"I also told them all what happened to me back in January."

He's full of surprises tonight.

"Aw, wow," I type. "How did that go?"

"Fairly well," he replies simply.

"Did you feel okay after telling them?"

"For the most part. It gets easier the more I talk about it."

"I'm so glad," I write.

I really fucking am.

I'm so happy that Sasuke told me. I'm so happy that he has people to support him. It makes all the difference in the world it seems.

As soon as I send the message, I notice that the thumping sound from Kiba's room has started to get louder.

Ugh, now he's just being fucking rude. I'm starting to get really agitated and there's no way in hell I'm going to listen to this shit all night. So, I pick up one of my smaller textbooks and fling it against the wall. It makes a loud slamming noise and the thumping stops almost immediately. I bet Kiba didn't even fucking realize I was home.

I guess he wouldn't have… but still, there's no fucking way he's having a good time in there. That's probably why this is taking so fucking long. That and he's probably trashed to hell. I let out a loud, irritated groan and start complaining about it to Sasuke. Nearly a fucking hour passes before they calm down in there. I decide to head into the living room and wait for Kiba. I mean, it's not even midnight yet, so I doubt he's going to bed. If he was aware enough to fuck, then he's aware enough to have a damn conversation about it.

After some more minutes, the girl leaves the room. She looks surprised to see me there at first, but then it turns to a look of anger. "Your roommate is a real jackass," she says to me.

For fuck's sake…

"What the hell did he do?" I ask somewhat wearily.

"He kicked me out!" she exclaims. "I take a fucking taxi all the way here with him, he says I can crash, and then he changes his mind after we screw."

I want to roll my damn eyes. Of COURSE he did. "Well, want a ride?" I offer. I feel like I have to offer, even though I don't really want to drive her all the way back to wherever the hell she even lives.

"No," she bites out. "Just call me a damn taxi."

So, I do.

She crosses her arms and stands by the door, not looking like she's in the mood for any type of conversation. I guess I can't blame her—she doesn't know either of us and probably wants to get the fuck out of here.

I hang around until she finally leaves, and lock the door behind her after she goes. Then I head straight to talk to Kiba.

"Kiba…Seriously?" I snap as I push into the room. He's rolled over facing the wall but as soon as I enter he lets out an audible groan.

"You could have at least let her spend the night," I tell him, getting closer to his bed.

"Didn't want her to," he states simply. Sounds like he doesn't even feel a little bit guilty.

"Then why the hell did you tell her you would let her," I snap, even though I know the fucking answer and it's so awful.

"Wanted her to come back with me," he says.

"Tsk," I click my tongue. "That was a real dick move… That's not something the real Kiba would do."

He rolls over and sits up, glaring at me. "Go away, Naruto!" he shouts. "I don't care!"

I scoff at that. "Yes, you do! You care about what EVERYONE thinks and that's why you did this! That's why you went and made sure EVERYONE saw you! You're not a dick, so stop acting like one or you'll get a bad reputation."

"Better than this," he mutters. "Better than having rumours going around that I let my roommate fuck me up the ass. I don't want that to be my reputation."

At least he's fucking admitting to it.

"They're not rumors," I retort, knowing it will probably make him angry. "You DID let me do that. Why does it matter?!"

"It's… it's private!" he exclaims justification, getting really worked up. "I don't want people seeing me as someone who does that stuff! It makes me uncomfortable!"

"Stop acting like it's such a bad thing!" I exclaim, starting to feel a little offended, "Your roommate likes guys! Your roommate's fucking boyfriend likes guys! Could you stop for just one second and think about how it makes me feel when you say shit like that?"

"I don't care about it when it's you two!" Kiba insists. He sounds angry but also a little frantic. "I just don't want people thinking I'm gay!"

"So tell them," I conclude, "tell them you're not like you told me you're not and let them fucking figure it out on their own time. You don't have to prove it to people. You don't have hook up with poor random girls who you're going to make feel like shit about themselves."

He scowls. "They're not going to fucking listen. I mean, what straight guy would let another dude fuck him?"

"Some do," I reason. "It happens. It isn't really anyone else's business."

He looks annoyed. He must know I'm right, though. He's being fucking foul and it isn't fair.

"It still makes me uncomfortable," he mumbles.

"Well, that's your own fault," I remind him. "You got drunk and shouted it in front of Shion and Hinata, and Shion blabbed."

"What a bitch," Kiba says sourly.

I roll my damn eyes at that. Yeah, it wasn't cool, but who can really blame her for it?

"Whatever," I scoff, "everyone at the party saw you so you don't have to worry about proving it anymore."

"Good," he bites out.

Honestly, everyone probably just thinks he's compensating now which is even worse for his case. Ino's comment sort of goes to prove that. Serves him right though. I don't feel even a little bit bad.

The night so did not have to go like this. I'm a little bitter at Shikamaru and Chouji for bringing up what they should have known would be a sensitive topic, but Kiba did NOT have to respond the way he did. He could have let it roll off his back. He could have calmly explained that no, we aren't together and that no, he isn't gay. I'm sure they would have believed him. There were a million different choices he could have made.

If he stops blowing up, people will find him a lot more believable. He just needs to fucking explain himself in a way that doesn't sound desperate as hell.

"You better not pull a stunt like this again," I say. "It's not fair for you to lie to these girls."

"Lay off," he responds, sounding dull and bored. He doesn't sound like he is wasted, but he is definitely drunk.

He'll probably feel shitty as hell about all of this in the morning. I hope he does, then maybe there will be less chance of a repeat. Then again, maybe not. He did sleep with me a bunch of times and apparently that wasn't something he loved to do.

Ugh. That still makes me feel so grimy to think about. I should have been more perceptive and less focused on figuring out if I was into men. Maybe then I would have realized just how fucked up things were between us.

I stand there for a moment not saying anything, and eventually Kiba rolls back over to face the wall. "Go away," he tells me, "I want to go to sleep."

What the fuck ever. "Goodnight," I say curtly, exiting the room and not bothering to shut the door behind me.

"Close it," I hear Kiba call as I get further away, but I flat-out ignore him.

I head into my own room and climb into bed, shooting Sasuke a goodnight text saying that I'll see him tomorrow.

.

.

In the morning, I wake up and head straight to Kiba's room. He isn't there, though. I move to the bathroom and hear the shower running. Glad to see he isn't going to be sleeping the day away.

I head into the kitchen and make toast with jam, sitting and eating it. After that, I decide to do some chores. I head down to the laundry room to do my laundry and when I get back, Kiba is STILL in the fucking shower. I bang on the door a few times, warning him not to waste water. The bill will get expensive. He doesn't reply, though.

What the fuck? He probably feels dirty from last night's idiocy. I guess I shouldn't bother him too much. He'll probably just get pissy.

I sit and watch TV, but then I start to worry. What if he's dead or something?

I get back up and bang on the door until I hear, "WHAT?!"

Phew... He's okay.

"Hurry up!" I shout back.

He doesn't respond and I get the feeling that he's going to be cranky with me when he finally finishes up. He fucking hates being told what to do—he says it makes him feel like a child—but I really can't have him running the shower for hours and hours.

Akamaru is dutifully waiting by the door, so I give his head a pat and then return to the couch. Finally, probably still around twenty minutes later, I hear the water shut off.

Eventually Kiba appears in the hallway with Akamaru dancing around his feet, but he's already fully dressed. He must have taken his clothing into the bathroom with him, which is weird because it's not something he usually does. I can't help but wonder if he just doesn't want me looking at him because, y'know, he's so super straight.

"You good?" I question as he passes by me on the way to his room.

"I'm fine," he mumbles.

"All right..." I mumble back, watching him disappear into his room again. I want to go after him and talk things out but I don't want it to turn into a yelling match again. I think he knows what he did last night was lame as fuck and hopefully that means he won't be doing it again. It isn't fair to the girls he might be sleeping with and kicking out.

He's upset. I get it, but he cannot go around dragging others into it.

I'm not saying he dragged me into anything, though. I wanted to sleep with him and he wanted to sleep with me on some fucked up level. It was bad, but he has no right to be acting like what we did is ruining his damn reputation. It's fucking not.

I really don't want to waste my day thinking about this though, so instead of waiting around to pick a fight I decide to go about the rest of my morning in preparation for picking up Sasuke. I head to the bathroom and hop in the shower, but I make it quick because there's literally no hot water left and it's already so steamy in there that it makes me feel like I'm going to suffocate.

When I'm done, I get dressed and brush my hair in my room because the mirrors are all fogged up anyway. By the time I finish, it's half past twelve and I call to Kiba as I head out the front door telling him I'll be back in a few hours.

I head to my car and to Sasuke's place. It doesn't take me long. I shoot him a text when I arrive and he appears from the front door a moment later.

He's wearing jeans and a sweatshirt and there's this little smile on his face as we make eye contact.

It feels fucking good to see him after the week I've had.

"Hey," I greet him as he opens the door and takes the passenger seat.

"Hey," he echoes.

I give him a peck on the lips and we drive off.

"So, sounds like you had a fun night," he says jokingly.

"Ugh," I mutter. "Yeah, the most fun."

"Just stop babysitting him," Sasuke suggests. "Let him learn the hard way."

"I'm going to have to." I comment, "It's like he's dead fucking set on wrecking himself."

Sasuke gives me a sad look that makes it seem like he wants to hear about how the rest of the evening went, so I relent and tell him.

"Shikamaru and Chouji know that Kiba and I hooked up," I explain, trying not to sound as irritated as I feel, "actually, it seems like the whole school does."

"Damn, really?" Sasuke asks, "How'd they find out?"

"Fucking Shion blabbed," I tell him, "I can't really blame her though. I mean, I probably would have told my friends too. I guess she told Ino and Ino fucking told all our friends because who the hell wouldn't? That's seriously hot gossip."

"True," Sasuke murmurs. "Was everyone surprised?"

"Yeah, they were all dying to know the details," I say with a scoff.

"How typical," he retorts. "Did you tell them?"

"Yeah, I did," I admit. "I mean, they already knew… So, I didn't bother trying to deny things for Kiba's sake. Kiba freaked out, though. Naturally."

"Naturally," Sasuke echoes.

"So, where do you want to go?" I ask. "Any special requests?"

"Um, yeah, actually," he says. "I went to this weird, little restaurant with Karin, Jugo and Suigetsu a while ago. You might get a kick out of it."

"Oh, sounds interesting!" I respond and he gives me directions to where it is located.

When we get there the first thing I notice is that it looks more like someone's house than a restaurant. It's cute though, and painting various shades of purple.

"This the place?" I ask as I park right in front.

Sasuke nods. "It's kind of weird," he says, "really eccentric. The food is good though and the decorum is cool."

We head inside and get a seat by the window. "What's good?" I ask Sasuke without bothering to look at the menu.

"Well, I had quiche last time I was here," he tells me, "but Karin said that fondue was their specialty."

"Want to share something like that?" I propose.

He agrees and that's what we end up ordering. While we wait, Sasuke turns the conversation back to last night.

"Did you tell Shikamaru and those guys that you're with me?" he asks.

"Oh, no." I reply, taking a sip of my water, "It wasn't really the right context. I not trying to shock them with it."

He nods slowly.

"Is it okay if I do tell them?" I wonder.

"Yes," he says. "I want them to know we're together."

I smile slightly. "Yeah, okay. Good. I want them to know, too. I want everyone to know." I pause and then decide to ask, "Is it okay if I talk about Kiba? Are you okay with the fact that I slept with him?"

"Yeah, it's fine," he insists, but it doesn't sound sincere. It just sounds dismissive, like he doesn't want to get into it.

"Are you sure?" I probe.

"Yes!" he says somewhat sharply.

I give him a dull look. "Be honest, Sasuke."

He sits back in his seat and sighs. "I don't get it. I don't get how you can be friends with someone you fucked… and it's weird for me because you talk about it so much. I guess everyone talks about it now that it's out in the open."

"Are you jealous?" I ask and he gives me this sour look. "Aw, come on, don't be like that," I say, reaching over the table to press my palms against his cheeks and squish them together. He turns his head and slaps my hands away, scowling at me.

"Don't do that!" he snaps. "I'm serious, Naruto."

"Sorry, sorry!" I chuckle, pulling my hands back to my sides.

"You're pissing me off," he grumbles, so I do my best to wipe the smirk off my face.

Sasuke crosses his arms and stares bitterly at the candle that's flickering on the table.

"I'm not trying to make you feel bad," I explain, trying to understand where he's coming from, "I really didn't know what it bugged you so much."

"It doesn't really bother me that it happened!" He insists, looking exasperated, "I know don't want people running around campus thinking that you're together or whatever. I'm not even there to defend our relationship."

"I'm not going to let anyone think we're together," I say, shaking my head, "I already told Shikamaru and Chouji that we weren't."

"Did they believe you?" he asks.

"Well, yeah, they saw him being felt up by some chick for half the night," I remind him.

Sasuke wrinkles his nose. "Was Kiba good in bed?"

The question throws me off big time. "What?" I choke out.

"Was he good in bed?" Sasuke asks again, repeating the question calmly.

I frown at that. "Sasuke, I'm not going to compare you and him, so if that's what you're worried about… you don't need to be."

"I can't really help it," he admits. "When we slept together… it was a mess. I can't even count it."

"I don't care about that," I insist. "I care about YOU and we can do it all at your pace, okay?"

He nods his head lazily. "Fine."

"I mean it," I reiterate. "Look… Yeah, I want to have sex. Before we started to get to know each other, it was the only thing I wanted… but now I KNOW you. Now I just like BEING with you. So, I can wait."

He rolls his eyes at that. "For how long, though?" he asks me.

"For however long it takes," I tell him.

"What if it takes a month? Six months? A fucking year?" he probes some more.

I shrug. "Then it takes a year. That's fine. I'm not with you just so I can screw you. I really, really, really fucking like you."

And I feel like I will more than like him someday. Someday soon, maybe.

Sasuke seems unconvinced but he drops the subject anyhow. I wish he would stop worrying about this. I'm not going to leave him just because he isn't ready to have sex with me. I'm so not that way and I feel a little offended that he's assuming I am. I mean, by the end of Sakura and I's relationship we weren't having sex at all because she literally doesn't like men. I still stayed with her though. I loved her.

I can't believe he would go down the road of asking me how Kiba was in bed. There's literally no way I can answer a question like that. He was good, of course I can't lie, but the reason why he was good is fucked up as hell. I wouldn't wish that shit on anyone.

I think Sasuke knows that, too. He's probably just annoyed right now and it's slipping his mind.

"Sorry," Sasuke mumbles after a few minutes.

"Don't worry, you're fine," I tell him and he simply nods in response. "How are you feeling lately?" I decide to ask him.

"I'm okay," he answers. "Kind of high-strung, but that's pretty typical."

"Anything I can do to help?"

He shakes his head. "I think I'll feel better when my parents know we're together, but at the same time I don't think I CAN tell them… Everyone in our house is so fucking fake. We all have secrets. Itachi has some, too. He's not as ideal as my parents seem to think he is."

"Oh yeah?" I cock an eyebrow at that.

Sasuke smiles smugly and I can tell he's about to drop something huge. He only gets that look when he feels like he's really about to shock me.

"He's told me he's gay too," he snorts.

I literally feel my jaw drop. "Are you fucking kidding me?" I barely even manage to get out.

Sasuke smirks, "Not even a little bit. Get this: he's dating someone who was a key witness on his old case."

"The scandal!" I exclaim, draping the back of my hand across my forehead.

"I know!" he laughs.

Honestly this is such a relief. I can barely fucking believe it. No wonder Sasuke was willing to him we were together.

I smile and reach out, taking his hand in mine. "After all of this time of you running around feeling like he was the perfect kid…you two both have the exact same thing going on."

"Yeah," he agrees. "Now he knows all my secrets… and he's been great. I mean, he's always been great… but I didn't think he would understand this much."

"It must help to at least know that you have some familial support, though, right?" I ask him.

"It does," he admits, "I wish my parents would be as supportive… but they won't. They're going to be ashamed."

"How do you know, though?" I probe.

He shrugs. "It's just… obvious. It's obvious because of the way they are. They want things to be their way. They raised us to be a specific way. They want us to become lawyers, to meet women, to marry women, to have children… Being gay isn't part of the plan."

"Ah…yeah…" I mumble, trying to think of something to lighten the mood. "I know people can't choose who they love and all," I end up saying after a moment, "but you have to admit that if your parents 'raised you to be a specific way' it's pretty funny and ironic that both you and your brother are gay."

Sasuke lets out a little laugh. "That's true," he says, "I never would have guessed it about Itachi. He's been with his boyfriend for two years and my parents still don't know. They just think they're great friends."

"Itachi probably wouldn't have guessed it about you either," I point out, "I never would have known if you hadn't taken the chance telling me."

Sasuke nods his head. "I tried pretty hard to hide it. I guess I did a good enough job because people are usually pretty shocked… except Karin, I guess."

I snort at that. "She knew it?"

"Somehow," he says with a shrug. "She's my best friend, though. So, she probably knows me well enough. No one else did."

I nod my head. "Fair." I pause and then add, "Well, I'm glad you decided to tell me. I feel like it helped bring us to where we are now."

"Probably," he agrees. "I guess I felt comfortable enough saying it because I knew about you and Kiba. Plus, after what happened to me in January I didn't feel like being gay was my shittiest secret."

I frown at that. It's so fucking shitty to think about. Sasuke seems like he's doing better now but nevertheless the whole thing makes me so damn angry. I'm never going to be able to forget about it.

Eventually our food shows up and we take turns dipping the bread and vegetables in the melted cheese. It's tasty. This place is cute. Karin has good taste and Sasuke was right to think I'd like it here.

About halfway through the meal my phone pings and I pull it out of my pocket to check the message.

"It's from Kiba," I tell Sasuke while he's in the middle of trying to fit a piece of broccoli in his mouth without getting it on his face, "he wants to know where I am and when I'll be home."

"Do we have plans after this?" he asks.

"Not really," I shrug.

"Well, do you want to stay out a while? Or do you want to go back and check on him?" Sasuke offers, stirring the pot of cheese a little with his fondue fork.

"I think he's probably okay…" I pause, trying to decide what to do, "I'll tell him we'll be a while but that if he needs me to come home I can."

Sasuke nods and I type the message back. Mere seconds later, Kiba replies. He's annoyed, I can tell. He asks if I'm avoiding him and I insist that I'm not and that I just want to spend time with my boyfriend.

"What's he saying?" Sasuke asks me.

"He wants to know if I'm avoiding him," I say, "which I'm not."

"Hm…" Sasuke muses. "Think he feels bad about last night?"

"Probably," I confirm. "He locked himself in the bathroom for most of the morning and then he hid away in his room until I left. I don't know what he's doing now."

"He's probably ready for reassurance now and that's why he wants you to come back," Sasuke contemplates.

Oof. He's probably right. Kiba switches between being frighteningly aggressive and the lowest type of self-loathing. If he's done feeling angry then he probably just feels like shit.

"Think we should go back…?" I ask, unsure of how to proceed.

"It's really up to you," he answers, "if you feel like we need to make sure he's okay then we can."

Ugh. I don't know what to do. On one hand, I feel like if I go home he might just try to start a fight with me. We'd inevitably end up talking about last night and I know he'd hate that. On the other hand I don't want to leave him hanging if he's feeling like crap.

"I'll ask if he's okay," I conclude, tapping out the message quickly and hitting send, "…there! I'll see what he says and then decide."

A moment later he texts back insisting he's fine. I guess that's that. I'll keep messaging him every so often just in case, but I feel bad about whipping my phone out while me and Sasuke are on a date.

"Sorry," I say, tucking it away.

"Don't worry," he says. "I get that the situation is pretty sensitive."

"Thanks," I murmur.

I feel like most other people wouldn't be this understanding… but then again, maybe Sasuke is understanding because he knows what's happening. He also understands that kind of experience on a deeper level than I do.

We finish out meal and after we pay, we decide to head down to the boardwalk. Now that we're getting towards the end of fall, it won't be too long before it's too cold to come down here and I haven't been all summer.

We walk around and hold hands, which is nice considering that up until now with the exception of pride we've been more reserved in public. I even manage to convince him to take some cute, couple-y pictures with me inside a photo booth that's set up outside of an arcade. There are a couple of me making silly faces and Sasuke looking critical, but there's also one of us kissing and we just look so damn happy in it. I end up buying two copies and telling Sasuke to take one home with him.

"I love these," I say.

"Me, too," Sasuke concurs.

He puts the photo in his wallet and I do the same. I'll probably put them up somewhere in my room later on. Sasuke will probably keep his in his wallet.

I think these are the first photos we've taken together. It makes me want to take more.

After a little more wandering around, we grab drinks - chai tea for Sasuke and a latte for me - and then head back to my apartment.

Today was nice. Getting out and doing something new was nice.

"That was fun," I say.

"Yeah, it was," he agrees. "I'm glad we got some pictures."

We should do stuff like this all of the time. It was so nice and relaxed, which is something I could definitely use more of in my life. I feel like I'm always on the go.

On our way home we stop by the corner store and pick up two pints of ice cream. Sasuke looks like he feels guilty when I tell him he should get one of his own, but I insist he does anyway. I buy cookie dough and he ends up with cherry chocolate chip.

It's around eight when we finally get back to the apartment, and I'm surprised to find that the front door is locked. I pull out my keys and let us both in, and I soon as I close the door behind us I head to Kiba's room to check if he's around.

He's not, which is weird. Normally he wouldn't be out this late. Normally he wouldn't be out at all.

I shrug it off and we decide to sit down in the living room to eat our ice cream and watch some TV. I hand Sasuke the remote while I go into the kitchen to get spoons. Sasuke settles on a documentary… typical. I don't mind, though. This one looks kind of cool. It's about serial killers. That stuff always tends to be interesting – a lot more interesting than history and plants or everything else he likes to learn about.

I sit down next to him, hand him a spoon and we dig in. I can tell Sasuke is probably counting the bites he takes. I debate on mentioning it, but I don't. He does this with junkfood when he feels like he's eating too much of it.

We continue to bum around the house and watch television. A little before 11PM, the door opens and Kiba pours into the apartment with another girl.

"What the hell?" I say out loud.

Kiba flat-out ignores Sasuke and I. The girl he's with waves hello while he barely even bothers to glance in our direction.

"Were you at a party?" I ask in another attempt to get his attention. Still he hardly responds, instead choosing to stand in the doorway and peel off his coat and shoes.

"Yeah at Sigma Chi," the girl answers for him, "you guys having a nice night in?"

Ugh. She seems nice. She seems REALLY nice. Should I tell her this is going to end in disaster?

"Uh, yeah. We're watching a movie," Sasuke responds before I get the chance, "wanna join?"

I give him a weird look. It's unlike Sasuke to willingly hang out with strangers. When I catch his eye though, he stares back at me and nods his head slyly in the direction of Kiba. Ahh. He's trying to derail them.

"Oh! Um…" the girl mumbles, glancing over at Kiba herself. He finally managed to get his sneakers off. He seems like he's pretty fucking drunk.

"Sorry, we're busy," he snaps at us.

"Fine, have a cow," I mutter.

Fuck, what a dick. Sasuke doesn't bother saying anything else and neither do I.

I mean, what else CAN we do at this point? I don't want to risk pissing Kiba off – especially not when he's drunk and in a mood.

Kiba pulls the girl into his bedroom. I feel sorry for her because no matter how down she is, he'll probably make her feel like shit when he kicks her out. That's how it went last time, at least. I really don't want a repeat.

"I hope they aren't loud this time," I mumble to Sasuke.

He wrinkles his nose. "Yeah… That sounds uncomfortable."

I give a long nod. "It was, holy shit."

Sasuke reaches for the remote and turns up the volume on the television. No matter how mad I am, I can't help but smirk. That was exactly the reaction I needed.

He leans in against my shoulder and for a while, the sound of the documentary is enough to drown out the sound of whatever the fuck they're doing in there. Eventually though, the girl starts sounding like she's trying WAY too hard.

Sasuke gets a little pink in the face and hunches down into the couch cushions. "This is embarrassing…" he comments.

"Ugh I know!" I let out a little chuckle, "It was like this last night too. It's awkward because to me it's like so obvious he's faking the whole thing."

Sasuke looks blatantly distasteful. "Yeah… I guess that's his problem, then. It's sad, but you shouldn't worry so much. I mean, what can you do?"

"Not much," I admit.

It sucks, though. It sucks because I know this isn't making Kiba feel satisfied or fulfilled. It's probably just making him feel empty and adding to whatever fucked up shit is going on in his head. I don't want him to keep making things worse for himself and that's why it is so damn hard to sit here and watch shit hit the fan.

But Sasuke is right. I can't really do anything unless I want to literally go in there and pry them apart… but I can't. I have no right.

Akamaru pads over to us and lays at the foot of the couch, whining softly. I wonder if he's upset that Kiba keeps running off at night without him. I wonder if he can even tell the difference.

Kiba's technically supposed to take Akamaru everywhere, so I'd imagine that Akamaru'd be upset at being left behind, right? The argument Kiba always uses is that he thinks it'd be cruel to take a dog to a loud and crowded frat party, but I think realistically it's that Kiba doesn't want to have to explain himself to people. When college students are drunk they get nosey. They'd probably actually have the balls to ask what Akamaru was for, instead of just speculating like they do when they see a service dog in the classroom.

I mean, it's none of their business so I get why they'd be upset… but Kiba could just brush them off. He doesn't have to answer their questions. It's not theirs to know. Plus, it's not like Kiba would ever tell a group of nosy drunks squat. But I guess the questioning is enough to set him into a mood – especially if he's drunk enough.

Me and Sasuke continue to watch TV. We finish the rest of the documentary and then start on another. A little way through it, Kiba's door opens. I turn around and see the girl leaving. She spares me and Sasuke an awkward glance and I can tell Kiba probably just told her to leave. Hopefully he didn't hint to her that she could stay like he did with the other girl.

Once she's out the front door, I get up and go lock it behind her. Then I head back to the couch where Sasuke and I exchange an uncomfortable look.

"At least she didn't seem mad?" he offers.

"Yeah...greaaat," I drawl.

Akamaru pads away from us and noses his way into Kiba's room through the ajar door, which is pulled closed a second later.

"Think we should go check on him?" Sasuke asks, peering down the hallway.

"I don't know," I shrug, "I think he'll just tell us to piss off."

Sasuke nods slowly. "Yeah..." He mumbles, "you're probably right."

At that, we resume our movie. We still have a while until we finish it because honestly, Kiba and whoever that girl was were pretty fucking quick. He probably wanted her the hell out of here as soon as she came over.

I bet he couldn't wait to kick her out. I don't know what the fuck the point of all this is anymore. He's not really helping his case by making people feel like shit. I don't know why this is better than people thinking he's gay or some shit… That stuff literally doesn't matter at all. I wish he'd get that, but he doesn't. He cares way too much about what people think and he always goes about it the wrong way when he's trying to change the way people see him.

Some time around midnight, I decide to cut my losses and go check on Kiba since he didn't come out at all since the girl left.

"One sec," I tell Sasuke before getting up and moving down the hallway. I open his door and push it open, saying, "Kiba?"

It's dark and he's lying in his bed like a lump. I don't even know if he's conscious anymore. He could be asleep. I head closer to the edge of his bed and whisper his name a couple more times. He doesn't answer, though.

I leave the room but keep the door open. Somehow that makes me feel better—like he can't just hide away from me.

"He's totally out," I comment to Sasuke, who by now has stood up from the couch and wrapped the blanket we were snuggled up with around himself.

He nods, walking towards me and peering into Kiba's room. Then turning back to me he asks, "want to head to bed?"

"Sure," I relent, patting a hand against his shoulder. Sasuke goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth, but I don't bother. I'm worn out. I'm so stressed. I just want to go to sleep.

A few minutes later, he joins me under the covers and faces me. "Good night," I say softly, placing a hand on his cheek and pecking him on the lips.

"Sleep well," he replies, closing his eyes.