Chapter Twenty-Eight
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Note: The fight between Sasuke and Sakura did not actually take fifteen minutes. Sasuke just said he was sure it took at least that long to annoy her since he said it would only take ten minutes before the fight started. Also, when I was looking up the fight between Sasuke and Gaara in the manga, Kakashi insists that he DIDN'T train Sasuke because of blatant favoritism but because they both had lightning affinity. Sasuke had long-since known he was a fire affinity, but what made Kakashi think Sakura and Naruto weren't also lightning? Couldn't he have been bothered to test them as well? Not to mention what a bright idea teaching him the Chidori turned out to be…
"The winner is Namikaze Naruto," Obito announced. "How do you feel about making it to the finals, Naruto?"
Naruto shrugged. "I really just want to fight Sasuke. Should he lose to Gaara I'm going to be kind of pissed. Don't get me wrong; fighting Gaara would be fun, too, but he's just not my epic rival, you know?"
Obito nodded and glanced at Kakashi. "I think I do. Either way, you've done well to win your three matches and deserve your spot in the finals."
"Not that I disagree or anything," Naruto began carefully, "because I totally think I should be in the finals, but was that last 'match' really that big a deal? I mean, I wasn't actually fighting anyone."
"Which is why if you had lost you wouldn't have deserved to be in the finals or ever make Chuunin ever," Obito explained.
"Well, yeah, but what would happen in that case? Would whoever won the next fight have a bye for the finals or would that match automatically be the finals?" Naruto queried.
"You know, I don't know," Obito confessed. "Fortunately, we do not need to worry about that seeing as how you've prove successful in your fight against the elusive bye."
"Seriously, you're having way too much fun with this," Naruto said bluntly.
"What am I supposed to do?" Obito demanded. "Just stand here and stop you guys from cheating too obviously or killing each other unnecessarily?"
"That does sound like the job description for exam proctor, yes," Naruto agreed.
"Well too bad. Those are really more like guidelines anyway," Obito insisted. "Now hurry up and go back to your friends. It's time for Sasuke to go up against Gaara."
"What are you writing?" Kakashi asked, watching the Kazekage scribbling furiously on a piece of paper.
"It's now the second match of the semi-finals," the Kazekage explained. "By now, we've all gotten a pretty good idea of who should advance and who should try again in six months. I'm just making my recommendations and listing my reasons why or why not."
"There are still two more matches, though," Minato pointed out. "And given that they are between Sasuke and Gaara and then the winner of that fight against Naruto, I'm sure they'll prove to be spectacular."
"True," the Kazekage allowed. "But I can always edit my recommendations later. I'm just trying to get it all down while it's still fresh in my mind. There, done." The Kazekage folded the paper into fourths and held it out to Kakashi. "Will you hold onto this for me?"
"I suppose," Kakashi replied, taking the paper. "Any particular reason you can't hold onto it yourself? Or why you want me to do so?"
"Well, as you know, Tsunade of the Sannin has recently won a bet. I have not ever met her personally, but her reputation precedes her and should the cataclysmic disaster that usually follows anything that could reasonably be considered 'good luck' for anyone else occur before this exam's new Chuunins are decided upon, I do not wish to see all the time and effort I put into my choices go to waste," the Kazekage explained.
"That makes sense," Kakashi conceded. "But what makes you think it would be any safer with me? As a bodyguard, I would face whatever natural or unnatural disaster should strike before either you or Hokage-sama."
The Kazekage snorted. "You have a reputation as well. I'm sure if you place my recommendations inside the pages of your book, no harm will come to it."
"He's got you there, Kakashi," Minato said with a smile.
"Fine…" Kakashi sighed, tucking the paper inside the pages of his precious novel.
"Speaking of Tsunade and betting…did she make any other bets I should be aware of?" Minato asked. "Please tell me no one would be so stupid as to let her place another bet after having already won once."
"Indeed she did, Hokage-sama," Itachi responded. "Normally, I do not believe they would have allowed her to place another bet without her having to threaten them first, but in this case they thought it was so outlandish they agreed with her that it would balance out her win."
"What did she bet?" Minato pressed.
"She suggested that the exams would end in an invasion," Itachi informed him.
The Kazekage immediately started coughing.
"Are you okay?" Minato asked, turning towards his fellow Kage.
"I'm fine," the Kazekage claimed. "That's such a horrible thing to bet!"
"I'm not so sure about that," Kakashi disagreed. "After all, that's how I bet this match would end."
Minato stared at him. "Why?" he asked finally.
Kakashi shrugged. "I couldn't resist. Besides, what are the odds?"
"I've never been fond of subtly so I'm just going to come right out and ask," Sasuke told Gaara as the two made their way down to start their match. "Are you going to try and kill me?"
Gaara shook his head. "After what your cousin said to Sakura about how killing you would hurt her chances of advancing, I think that would be a bad idea. After all, there are only two more times I need to avoid killing people, I don't want to kill Naruto, and not making Chuunin would make this entire month of abstaining from killing entirely pointless."
If it were Naruto, he probably would have said something about how Gaara was sure to live a happier and more fulfilling life if he didn't go around indiscriminately killing people and perhaps even waxed poetic about becoming a Kage and tried to convince Gaara to aim for that as well. Sakura probably also would have tried to convince him that mass murder is rarely the answer. Sasuke, however, latched on to a different part of Gaara's statement. "What, so you'd be okay with killing me but not Naruto?" he demanded.
Gaara gave him a strange look. "Yes. I think Naruto is probably the last person I would want to kill."
Sasuke groaned. "So you do like him better than Sakura and I. Oh well, I can't really say that I'm surprised. You didn't tell him this, did you?"
Gaara blinked at the sudden urgency in Sasuke's voice. "I have not."
"Good," Sasuke said, sighing in relief. "Because God knows he'd never let us live that down."
"Do you have any intention of trying to kill me?" Gaara inquired. "You would not succeed, of course, but it would be nice to know your intentions."
"I wouldn't dream of it," Sasuke answered honestly. "After all, if I killed you that meant that I would win the match by default and my ensuing fight with Naruto would be a lot more about morality and a lot less about our epic rivalry. Seriously, have you ever fought Naruto while he insisted on lecturing you? It really sucks the fun out of it."
"I shall keep that in mind when I'm trying not to kill you," Gaara said solemnly. "He did say you are his best friend, so he would probably take your death harder than most."
Sasuke shook his head ruefully. "I still can't believe that after all this time he's still insistent that I'm his best friend. Just because I called him my best friend right before trying to kill him is no reason to…"
"You are his best friend because you said so right before trying to kill him?" Gaara asked, confused.
Realizing that that line of thinking would not end well, Sasuke quickly amended his previous statement. "I…was having some issues and we mostly were already best friends, we just had yet to verbalize it. Naruto's different from other people and so that wouldn't work on them. Hell, it wouldn't even work on Naruto anymore since I got there first and he only has enough room in his life to obsess over one best friend."
Gaara didn't reply as they'd finally reached Obito.
"Are you two ready for your epic but better-not-end-in-Sasuke's-death match?" Obito asked them. He appeared to be waiting for a reply and since Gaara didn't seem particularly inclined to give one, Sasuke stepped up to the plate.
"Hn."
Apparently that was good enough for Obito, for his next words were, "Ready? Begin."
Immediately, sand began to rise from Gaara's gourd.
Sasuke, knowing full well Gaara could outwait him, decided to start things off by throwing a pair of shuriken at the future Kazekage.
As predicted, a wall of sand rose up to block the blow to Gaara's head as the boy didn't move an inch. Not content to just let the shuriken fall harmlessly to the ground, the sand shield became a sand clone with Sasuke's shuriken clenched in its fist.
Long-ranged attacks were very, very rarely any good against Gaara, so the best thing to do was move in. Of course, the sand clone wasn't about to let that happen and moved forward to stop him. Sasuke aimed a high kick at the clone's head, which it blocked with its arm. Of course, being made of sand meant that the hand came right off, but quickly reformed.
Annoyed, Sasuke made sure to punch straight through it on his next swing and quickly continued to Gaara. The sand shield rose up to protect him so Sasuke moved around to the back and punched Gaara in the face, which was something he'd been meaning to do for years. Sure, Naruto claimed Gaara wasn't' really trying to be his new best friend, but Sasuke had remained unconvinced and never let it be said that he wasn't possessive.
Gaara blinked in shock but came to his senses quickly enough and clambered to his feet. He was just forming his sand shield around him again when Sasuke chose to press his advantage and delivered a powerful kick to the throat, which sent the other boy flying backwards. God knows if he had kicked a civilian in the throat at that speed and with that level of force, he'd have an inquest to deal with so it was fortunate that was nothing more than a mild inconvenience for a ninja.
When Gaara got to his feet again, he quickly called his sand to him and it began to form a shield completely around him. Sasuke eyed the sand dome and tried to remember if he'd seen it before as he punched it experimentally. It was hard as a rock. Sasuke really didn't know what he was trying to accomplish. Granted, Sasuke couldn't win if he couldn't get to Gaara, but it's not like Gaara could get to him when he was nestled in that sand cocoon. Surely he wasn't about to transform, was he? He really didn't have a great deal of control over that from what Sasuke remembered. That was part of why he'd been so homicidal in the first place.
Still, letting Gaara finish whatever he was doing would probably fall squarely in the category of 'not good' so Sasuke decided to use his signature move. He moved to the edge of the arena and then ran straight back at Gaara. This time when he punched the sand barrier, he used the Chidori.
"This fight's boring," Naruto complained. "Gaara hasn't even tried to crush Sasuke once!"
"Well, that usually ends in death so we should be glad that he seems to be avoiding that," Sakura told him.
Naruto glanced over at her. "Does this means you're no longer out to kill him?"
Sakura shrugged. "Besides, Gaara's worked really hard to meet his MSR."
"Yeah, I guess…" Naruto trailed off as he let his eyes roam around the stadium, searching for something more interesting. His eyes widened in horror. "No. No, no, no!"
"What's wrong?" Kiba asked absently.
"People in the crowd keep falling asleep. I'd say half of them are out of it already. Either they agree with me that this is boring or someone put a genjutsu on them," Naruto announced.
"Why would anyone put a genjutsu on the crowd?" Temari asked. "I mean, if something's happening, civilians aren't going to be doing anything but getting in the way. Oh my God!"
"What?" Shikamaru asked, forcing himself to pay attention now that it seemed like something underhanded was going on.
"Gaara's impenetrable defense was just…penetrated!" Temari finished, a little lamely.
"There's no such thing as an 'impenetrable' defense," Naruto lectured. "If you apply enough force and/or speed, it will crack."
"But this has never happened to Gaara before," Temari said, her eyes wide.
"Well, he's never come up against the Chidori before," Sakura replied.
"Damn it, why isn't Kankuro up here?" Temari demanded.
Shikamaru shrugged. "There's no reason for him not to be. Ino was up here to yell at me earlier and Kiba, Sakura, you, and I haven't felt the need to leave since we lost."
"Why do you need puppet guy?" Kiba asked.
"Because then I could have someone to freak out with about the fact that a giant distinctly non-human arm just emerged from Gaara's sand shield and try to smash Sasuke!" Temari exclaimed.
"I'll freak out with you," Naruto said magnanimously. "It would probably be more interesting anyway. I probably understand what happens during a transformation better than anyone else here anyway."
"That would be nice, thank you," Temari said. "I always feel foolish freaking out alone."
Suddenly the sand melted away to reveal Gaara, looking completely human but clutching his arm. "What did you do to me?" he demanded.
"I made you bleed," Sasuke replied casually. "It happens."
"Not to me," Gaara insisted. His eyes snapped shut suddenly and he raised a shaking hand to his forehead.
"Are you okay, kid?" Obito asked, a little concerned.
"I'm fine," Gaara lied. "Just a massive headache."
Abruptly, the world was filled with feathers.
"What the-?" Kiba asked, before passing out.
Everyone else in the stadium box dispelled the genjutsu with relative ease and Sakura woke up Kiba.
"You know," Naruto said, eye twitching, "someone is going to have to die for preventing me from getting to face him."
"What should we do?" Sakura asked. "Sasuke should be okay but who knows what's going on in the Kage box?"
"We can't do anything about that," Naruto pointed out. "It's sure to be a little out of our league. I'm going to go get Sasuke. You need to go find Gai and tell him about the imposter."
"Is he an imposter, though?" Sakura asked.
"Who knows?" Naruto replied. "But he's the loudest person I know and if anyone can get the word out, he can."
"Okay," Sakura nodded. "I'll also try and wake up the others."
"We'll go with you," Kiba said.
Shikamaru nodded.
They all looked expectantly at Temari. "I'm…going to go see Gaara. He really looks like he needs me right now."
"Seriously, though," Naruto grumbled as he got ready to move. "If I hadn't sworn off vengeance…"
"Don't worry," Sakura assured him. "Sasuke looks just as pissed. I'm sure he'll seek ten times the vengeance you might want. And Kakashi's actually up there and this could affect our chances for a promotion. Hell, I might even help because now I have to deal with the two of you while you sulk about this."
"Thanks Sakura," Naruto beamed at her. "You're the greatest."
"What did we get ourselves into?" Temari wondered, not for the first time.
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