Chapter 28
Clarke woke before Lexa, easily aware that her mate still needed much more sleep and that she should be allowed to rest. Clarke kissed the slumbering alpha on the cheek before slipping out of bed. Clarke found some comfy pajamas and headed out to the kitchen for breakfast, only to be stopped by the open door to Lexa's study. Clarke paused tempted by the idea, wishing to read Lexa's works.
Before she knew it she had sauntered in through the cracked door, flipping on the lights, finding several notepads scribbled with notes and ideas, Lexa's personal ramblings. Clarke felt the allure of the notepads, but didn't want to read them, she didn't want to completely violate her Alpha's space to read what Lexa never intended to be for anyone but herself.
"Hmmm, anything finished hiding out in here." Clarke's eyes darted over everything scattered along everything looking for something that had clearly been finished, most of the binders and notepads that adorned Lexa's study were clearly not anything more than personal papers, notes, and research. After a while, Clarke forfeited the idea of successfully finding what she wished to, turning around to find a wall adorned with a variety of novels. The bookshelves stretched from floor to ceiling, crossing the whole wall, and almost completely filled with an astounding variety of books. Clarke recognized a number of the books, but even the dozens she could identify didn't rival the hundreds Lexa owned.
Clarke's eye was easily drawn to the shelf which had the most empty space, just about eye level as she walked up to it. It held six or seven small magazines, followed by three novels listed compendium, poems, and short stories to kill. Then, the final hardcover, bold silver letters spelled out Lexa Trigeda. Clarke paused. "There it is..." she snagged the book, taking it with her as she headed out to the living room, eager to get at least a cup of coffee and maybe a small something to eat while she began to devour her lover's works.
"Hey there Clarke?" Raven called from the dining room, comfy in an overly plush robe, clearly beyond content.
"What has you all smiley?"
"Oh her? She finally got her heat satisfied just like she deserves." Octavia growled happily flipping eggs in one pan, bacon sizzling in another.
"Yeah… mhmm, it's been a very nice morning!" Raven purred in agreement.
"That's my girl." Octavia praised happy her omega was sated.
"You got any spare for me?" Clarke requested.
"Yeah. Sit on down, it'll be ready in a minute." Octavia invited.
"Here. I made coffee earlier, thought you and Lexa might want some when you woke." Raven offered pouring Clarke a warm cup.
"Thanks hun your the best." Clarke gave Raven a hug in return before sitting down next to her.
"Whatcha got there?" Raven eyed the book.
"It's Lexa's."
"Jesus? She actually letting you read it?" Octavia recognized the book from a quick glance over her shoulder.
"I... well. N...not really."
"You took from her library without permission?" Octavia half huffed half cowered in fear.
"Yeah? Uugh I? Something wrong with that?"
"No not if you want to experience her full scorn." Octavia giggled.
"I... is it that bad?"
"If you didn't get permission to read it? Yes. First, she is hella anal about her books. She is more protective over them than she was of Costia. In fact… you might be the only one that can get away with touching her books." Octavia paused.
"Huh?"
"Costia is the only person I've ever seen touch Lexa's library and not get killed for it. So... given that you're her mate... ya know what… she might actually want you to read it. But I would really talk to her about it first. That book... it is her heart and soul. She might feel … ya know. Naked in front of you if all a sudden you know what's between those pages." O elaborated, taking the pan full of eggs and doling them out speedily before adding two strips of bacon to each.
"You think?"
"I've read it. I know, it's how she felt when I looked at her for about a month or two."
"It's that personal?"
"Isn't anything that you spend three years of your life making incredibly personal. Not to mention how much of her actually made it through." Octavia explained.
"I... got it." Clarke nodded timid as she ran her fingers over the embossed letters that spelled the name of her alpha.
"Hey relax. I'm sure she will let you read it." Raven placed a calming hand over Clarke's. "She loves you. It will all work out."
"Thanks Raven." Clarke nodded in appreciation.
"Dig in girls."
"Huh? Mhmmm... Baby?" Lexa's eyes fluttered open as she felt soft kisses at her neck.
"That's a girl." Lexa could feel a hand gently caressing her side, clearly waiting patiently for consent to grope her breasts.
"Clarke? Oh, alpha." Lexa purred taking in the scent of her mate.
"morning baby."
"I... mhmm you let me sleep in didn't you?" Lexa cooed, looking around for her alarm clock to confirm the time.
"Of course I did."
"I!" Lexa went rigid noticing something else on her nightstand as Clarke continued kissing unaware.
"My girl deserves some rest. You have had a long couple of days with a lot on your mind."
"Yes! I do have a lot!" Lexa's voice teetering on shrill as she sat up in bed.
"What is it?"
"I told you no Clarke!"
"Huh? I... I didn't mean to touch you in a way you didn't wanna be touched!" Clarke recoiled scared she had pushed Lexa by waking her with kisses and gentle caresses.
"No! You! You went into my study! And you... you!" Lexa grabbed her novel from her nightstand, pulling it close, holding it over her heart, feeling a need to protect the flaw in her armor.
"I! I didn't read it Lexa! I... I mean I was gonna. But..."
"Clarke! Why the hell would you read it! Especially after I told you no!"
"I told you it wouldn't make me feel unspecial."
"But I didn't give you carte Blanche to pilfer my library!"
"Lexa! I didn't even read it!"
"You said yourself you were gonna! What changed?"
"I... Octavia. She mentioned to me that... that your novel was extremely personal... and... I never opened the book. Because of what she said. How she said it. I... I understand. That book is …"
"It is me. It is a part of me, of my life, of my heart. All of my writings are." Lexa allowed her arms to drop, once more bearing her heart for her mate.
"I know. And... I woke you up because I got impatient." Clarke sighed taking Lexa's hands wrapped around the book in her own.
"And that is why I woke you up. I wanted to ask for permission. I... I wanna know more about you. My Lexa."
"Promise… promise me..."
"What!? Anything! I promise!"
"Promise me you won't see me differently." Lexa's face was clearly full of shame and fear.
"I... why would I see you differently?"
"I... just... promise. Ok?" Lexa looked down and away.
"Well." Clarke moved closer on the bed to Lexa, caressing her cheek." what if after I read it I just see you as this amazing writer, a woman so established in her life, a perfect mate for me. A strong woman I love."
"I love you. And … that probably isn't something you will feel."
"I love you. And I have to read for us to find out don't I?"
Lexa nodded timid. "Ok." She held the book out to Clarke." Please be careful with it tho. It was the first hardcover I had printed. It is my most prized possession."
"I will guard it with my life."
"I love you."
"I love you too baby. What is it?"
"I... it's gonna be a long day." Lexa sighed trying to prepare herself.
"What is it?"
"I need to talk to my aunt and uncle."
"Oh... fuck." Clarke nodded, processing what it meant. "Do you want me to come with?"
"No. I, I have to do this myself. You have some reading to do, now don't you?" Lexa leaned in and plopped a kiss on Clarke's cheek.
"I'm here when you get back."
"I know my love. Thank you."
End of chapter 28
