Silent Talks

Days turned into a week, and Chris couldn't remember when he had last truly slept. It wasn't for lack of opportunity – although Chris hated to waste even a minute in the race against Gideon, he was experienced enough to take a few hours' rest each day, if only because he knew that he'd have to confront an Elder at the end of all this, and he'd need his strength, then.

But whenever he did lie down in his new and very comfortable bedroom, whenever he managed to relax enough to actually fall asleep, he saw his mother's face, not hateful, not even angry, but cold, uncaring, and he heard her voice.

You're not one of us, Chris. You'll never be. We don't want you here.

And then they would come, the ever-growing line of people he had loved and lost, his large, happy family that could only ever gather in his mind and in the desecrated graveyard now. They would dance through his dreams, reproach in their eyes and screams on their lips, and their blood would paint his mindscape red until he sat upright in bed, heart beating in sync with his panting breath.

…who needed sleep, anyway?

There was no real difference between day and night in the underworld, after all, and demons didn't care if you looked perpetually tired. He didn't care anymore, either. Only for his mission, the huge task of finding Gideon in a global maze of caves and tunnels, inhabited by an uncountable mass of malevolent beings.

It was fun, really.

He was juggling several personae with corresponding clothing and glamours, changing his appearance every few hours to keep Gideon's servants from following him. Finding the Elder wasn't as impossible as it would have sounded to someone without his intimate knowledge of the underworld, but it was a lot of work.

Luckily, he had used a good part of his misspent childhood and youth to map that dimension and had expanded and corrected his cartography here in the past. A huge part of what made up the underworld was, in fact, under the control of powerful and large demon clans. Crossing these areas off his maps was easy – he just had to discover whether the clan leaders had allied themselves with Gideon, for there was no other reason why they should allow him to stay on their territory.

So far, he hadn't observed any new allegiances. It seemed that the Elder had gathered a group of loner demons and a few smaller clans without territory of their own under his command. That made sense, Chris guessed. Despite being out for murder, Gideon still considered himself to be good. He wouldn't tolerate a major evil player as a partner, and the more powerful demon leaders didn't like to serve anyone – that role had grated even when the source of all evil had demanded it of them.

In the future, Wyatt had been forced to wipe out most of these clan leaders, so adamant had they been to remain independent. That they would give up this independence for an Elder was unimaginable.

All in all, his enquiries had eliminated about ninety percent of the underworld. That sounded like much, but the remaining territory was about as large as central Europe – impossible to search it for a single man and his small demon army.

If only Elders weren't so damn good at warding, Chris thought tiredly. There was no way of finding Gideon through scrying or other magic means. He had tried a few of his most effective spells early on and gotten nothing. So he'd decided to leave that area of research to the sisters and Leo, who knew practically nothing about the underworld but a lot about scrying, given that one or more of the sisters got lost every other week.

Chris snorted bitterly. Let them sit in their cosy living room, he thought. With their coffee and their hot baths and their righteousness. I'm better off without them.

He was. Really. Not having to argue over every single step, not having to waste time whenever the sisters decided they wanted 'a normal life' for a day, not having his every action questioned for a hidden agenda – all that should have made things easier for him. And it did.

But he hadn't expected how utterly alone he would be without it all.

Not that he hadn't been completely alone in all that mattered since the moment he first stepped through a time portal. The sisters didn't know him, they'd barely tolerated him at the best of times and heaped abuse on him at the worst. He'd never been able to really talk to them, not about his mission and definitely not about anything private. They knew nothing about his hopes and fears, his dreams and plans.

But they had been there.

Even though they'd not been his mother and aunts, their voices had filled empty places inside him he'd thought forever abandoned. Even though they didn't know him, their touches and smiles had given him back part of his family.

It had made it harder in a way. Even in the middle of this new misery he could remember the sheer terror of his first weeks in the past, when he'd still been unprepared to see his mother's face, alive and without the layer of blood coating it, the graceful figure of his Aunt Phoebe, not broken and twisted out of form, and hear the clear, commanding voice of Aunt Paige, not hoarse from perpetual screaming. He'd been terrified, both because he'd been afraid of letting something slip and because he'd been wholly unprepared for the feelings that would surface again after being repressed so long.

But despite the pain, being with his family had brought some kind of peace. He would bitch and they would bitch back, but at least they were there. That was more than he'd had for a number of years.

Now he'd lost it again. He was back in a world of fighting and surviving, where no one cared what he was doing and if he worked too much, where he could go for days without a friendly word or a touch that wasn't designed to hurt him. He was all alone.

Except for Sarah.

One glance at his watch told him it was nearly four o'clock, so Chris left the deserted and dusty corridors he'd been walking for the past hours and chose a small side cave, placing strong but temporary wards that would keep him safe for the moment.

Orbing wasn't possible in most parts of the underworld, at least not if you didn't want to alert the inhabitants of that area. So he usually orbed into border territories, where the coming and going wasn't well controlled, or into spots he himself had cleared of wards before. Then it was walking, and scouting, and, sometimes, talking. As irritating and slow progress as it seemed, it was the only way of keeping Gideon unaware of his presence. He didn't want to find the Elder only to have him on the run again.

Chris settled down quietly, the rucksack between his feet, ready to be grabbed, his back against the wall so he wouldn't be caught unaware. He placed a large athame to his left, a general vanquishing potion to his right, both ready to be grasped at a moment's notice, then allowed himself the luxury to relax.

He closed his eyes and let his head rest against the rough stone of the wall. His breathing slowed. His feet thrummed with the dull pain of having walked too long, too far. He became aware of the soft aches of old bruises and the exhaustion lurking in the back of his mind. It was a strangely peaceful feeling.

He checked his watch again, finding that four o'clock was less than a minute away. And, sure enough, he'd barely closed his eyes again when the disembodied voice of Sarah floated into his mind.

It wasn't like hearing, at least not in the traditional sense. He'd had many talks with other whitelighters and half-whitelighters about their strange abilities, magical and yet so different from magic, but the best way they'd come up with to describe their charges' call was a kind of feeling the voice, as if it touched something under his skin, a kind of hearing with the soul. It was intimate, and soothing, and, when his mother had been pissed off and called for him in that special tone of hers, annoying as hell.

Right now, with Chris sitting in the perpetual twilight of the underworld, dust and debris around him, it felt strangely like solace.

So this is me again, Sarah began, then waited for half a minute to give him a chance to put her on mute. As good as he'd become over the years of juggling his extra-senses with his normal ones, multitasking like that wasn't the best idea in a combat situation.

But she'd never yet caught him in such a situation, and if that was because he made extra sure not to do anything dangerous around four o'clock, then that was something he chose not to dwell on.

Even he had a right to a few minutes of his time, after all.

I'm alone in the house right now, Sarah continued after a moment of silence. In the kitchen, going through their research while they are out of the way.

She didn't bother to hide her irritation with the sisters. Chris knew from experience that one could withhold information from this kind of mental contact, although it was a lot of work. But Sarah, so guarded in normal communication, had always seemed totally open and undisguised since their first mental touch. Perhaps she'd learned to call this way from Wyatt, but Chris chose to think that she simply didn't bother with hiding when it was just them.

They haven't made much progress – no surprise there. Paige tried to scry for Gideon again this morning. It was the 35th attempt – believe me, I've counted – and they're still not getting that he's too well hidden from them. Tell me again how they survived so long?

Chris closed his eyes and felt a smile grow on his face. Was it a bad sign that sarcasm actually reminded him of home? Most leading members of the Resistance had been sarcastic to the core, and this kind of commentary was exactly what he'd expect of Bianca, or Kevin, or his seconds in command.

They've gotten kind of restless since yesterday, but they still stick to their promise never to go out alone and leave Wyatt in the house whenever possible. Today Piper's decided to take him for a walk…

Sarah's disbelief over this perceived foolishness was nearly tangible.

But at least they all three went, with Leo as an extra guard. Piper's actually taken care not to leave Leo and me alone for too long – I think she's afraid I'll kill him when she turns her back. Have you eaten your sandwich yet?

Chuckling over this abrupt change of topic, Chris reached for his rucksack and searched for the sandwich. A fresh supply of potions and provisions every day was another way Sarah had found to make his life easier. He was unbelievably glad that he didn't have to take the extra hours each day to brew vanquishing potions and shop for groceries, although he still didn't understand how the sisters couldn't notice that a good portion of Sarah's work simply vanished from sight. If he hadn't been vanquishing demons left right and centre this past week, the cellar would have overflown with potions. And yet none of the sisters had yet mentioned this discrepancy.

Anyway, Sarah continued. Phoebe is still working on her sisters. Your aunt is a lot more stubborn than I expected, and I think Paige is starting to come round. But Piper refuses to even discuss the matter, and… well… Leo's an idiot.

Chris chuckled again, but it sounded bitter even to his own ears this time. His appetite was suddenly gone, but he forced himself to bite and chew and swallow as if everything was alright. He hadn't expected anything else, after all. His mother wasn't known to change her mind once she'd made a decision, she was even worse than he was in that regard. They would just have to go on trying.

Are you really sure you need me here? Sarah's voice sounded a bit forlorn. I could probably be of much more help to you in the underworld than sitting here, brewing potions and listening to their imagined woes. Nothing against a peaceful world, Chris, but no one told me it could be so boring.

She only ever made the request to leave the sisters and work with him during their one-way conversations. Face to face, she was supportive and rather passive, watching him closely for injuries and noting down his potions requests. Just as he was formal and distant, thanking her for her help but refusing to answer her questions about his status. It was the only way he could cope. And if he would close his eyes during the time she talked to him from far away, and imagine he was back in the Manor, reunited with his family and Sarah, well there was no one there to call him on it, was there?

Sarah paused. She usually made sure not to talk for too long a time, as if she was afraid to overstep his boundaries, and he hadn't found a way yet to tell her how glad he was for these five minutes during his long days. He wasn't very good at talking about this kind of thing. Still he wished she would tell him a bit more.

That's all for today, I guess, she then said, just as he finished the last bite of the sandwich. I hope I'll see you tomorrow at sunrise. Be careful, Chris.


He spent the day scouting Tasra-territory, filled with a strange urgency and the feeling that he was finally on to something. The Tasra were a widespread clan group, consisting of several different demon types, not very closely knit. It would be easy for someone with Gideon's power to dominate a few Tasra families, perhaps even hire them for his own purposes, and the terrain was exactly what someone in Gideon's position would be looking for – complicated, not easy to survey and perfect for quickly building a stronghold.

The Tasra-dynamics made it relatively easy for Chris to fit in – most of his different demon personae would work with such a diverse clan – he could even have left off the glamour and tried his luck as a warlock.

But Tasra were also pretty dangerous. Among their main body of demon species there were no less than seven with lethal offensive powers, usually mercenaries, which meant well trained and not hesitating to go for the kill. And then there were the Craggis, sly, incredibly fast demons that had specialised in poisons more than a hundred years ago.

They had been one of the first species Wyatt had worked to bring under his control in his bid for power, and the move had certainly paid off. Craggis weren't as deadly as specially trained assassins like Sarah or Bianca, but they were the second best thing, and there were a lot of them. Chris felt no urge towards a confrontation with the Craggis, not even on a good day.

Unfortunately, the Craggis didn't feel the same way about him.

He made it to the centre of the large cave cluster without being noticed – there were barely any demons around, although a clan centre like this should have been populated densely. A good sign for his search, as were the unusual number of guards posted at the many entrances to the main cave.

The geographical structure of this area was similar to the last one Gideon had settled in – another good sign -, but it was also pretty much ideal for someone sneaking around. Chris disposed of three guards without the others noticing and hid their bodies in various crags and nooks. He took the fourth guard with him into a slightly larger cave and spent a good hour on building a new glamour that mimicked the corpse's body and facial structure. If Gideon's security system was half as good as Chris' would have been, no unfamiliar faces would be allowed from here on. A guard at this sentry point had to be trusted, so Chris hoped he would go unchallenged as the demon's doppelganger.

He was very nearly right.

The first glimpse of Gideon and his bodyguard after all these hours of searching was exhilarating to Chris. He had nearly lost faith in his own ability to track down the Elder, and only his desperation had kept him going a few times. But he'd been right, and now he could…

Well, do absolutely nothing, if he was honest. Not only had Gideon reinforced his personal wards since their last confrontation, his body guard now seemed to consist of more than thirty demons, and none of them looked easy to vanquish. He would never reach the Elder before being noticed, and his chances of reaching Gideon alive at all were beyond slim.

He would need back-up for this one.

Slowly, Chris began easing away from the cave's entrance. It wouldn't do to draw attention to himself now, but he needed to get this information to Sarah as quickly as possible. Together, they might develop a plan that would just work…

He noticed the Craggis following him less than a mile away from the main cave. They were shadowing him carefully, taking heed that he would not yet notice them. Perhaps they were hoping that he would lead them to his partners – no one in their right mind would attempt an infiltration of this kind without partners, after all – but he was thankful for their hesitation. It gave him time.

He couldn't possibly hope to orb without notifying Gideon, not here, so close to his new centre of power. He also couldn't hope to win against five Craggis without being wounded.

So his only chance was to get as far away from Gideon as possible and lay a trap to make sure that they couldn't report him. More than anything else, however, he needed to prevent them from calling and waiting for reinforcements. Five Craggis were pretty much the upper limit of what he could hop to fight and survive, and if they were joined by more, this whole plan would be down the drain and he'd have to start from scratch again.

He would not let that happen.

So Chris waited until the Craggis had nearly rounded the latest corner of this winding tunnel. Then he threw a look back over his shoulder, as if only just noticing them, and broke into a run.

He could hear them hesitating behind him. Craggis had no telepathic or empathic abilities, and while they had perfected the art of killing, they were not techno-savvy like some other demon clans. They'd either have to leave one of them behind to find back-up, or they'd have to risk it. Chris added a slight limp to his run – not enough to be noticed consciously by anyone but the best tracker, but sufficient to let him appear a bit more vulnerable than he was.

A lone demon guard, running from something, probably wounded – not dangerous, not difficult to catch. The Craggis behind him began to run.

Chris kept ahead of them with ease. If the years in a wartorn San Francisco had taught him anything at all, it was how to run for hours without needing a break. But he made sure not to lose them – if he seemed too fast, they might lose interest in the hunt and simply report him to the nearest sentry point.

He kept them going till they had nearly reached the edges of the Tasra detection-wards. Then he put on more speed and easily left them behind – or so they were meant to think.

In truth, he was waiting for them around a corner.

The fight was over before it had really begun. Chris sent his triquetras out and like eager little birds of prey they took down his enemies too fast to be followed by untrained eyes. For a moment, he allowed himself a grin of satisfaction. No detection, no witnesses, and a clean kill. Gideon couldn't possibly learn about this episode.

Then, he became aware of a stinging pain in his neck.

He raised his hand and his fingers touched the feathered end of a dart.

They'd been as fast as he. And one of them had managed to poison him.

Not now! Not when I'm so close! For a moment, panic filled his mind, making it impossible for him to think. He didn't know enough about poisons to heal this, and he lacked the means to brew an antidote in time. What the hell was he supposed to do now? How could he have let that happen?

Prioritize! He then ordered himself, and it was Bianca's voice that gave the command. He needed to get help. But first he needed to clean this part of the tunnel and hide the bodies from view. He also needed to mark Gideon's position and his forces on his maps, since he had no idea how fast this poison would work. He might not be lucid by the time he reached Sarah.

Get to work! Levitate the bodies to the side cave. Hide the blood. Clean away the footprints.

By the time he had cleaned the site, his hands were shaking uncontrollably. It took him three tries to pin down Gideon's position, and four impossibly long minutes to add a note to Sarah.

A good thing she added me to the wards, he thought hazily as he watched the walls of the tunnel close in on him. I wouldn't manage the walk to the front door.

He only hoped he would manage the orbing without killing himself.


A/N: My apologies for the long wait, you guys, and thank you for all your reviews! The next updates should come rather quickly, but I'm insanely busy at the moment, so please have patience in things take longer than planned!

Please review!